Chapter Eight
There is nothing like a good, utterly exhaustive session of screaming and crying to reset your head.
I might have to include one of those for Dominique in the next book.
I was not sure if it had been ten minutes or an hour, but my breathing had finally gotten back to normal.
The brain can only take so much before you have to just let things go.
So, Val was not who I had thought she was.
I wondered if this was what Robert had felt when I told him I was pansexual and polyamorous.
I took a deep breath and let it out my toes as my counselor had taught me.
What the fuck was I going to do now? Well, I still needed to find my sister, and I was still outclassed by the people standing in my way, so I couldn’t ditch Val.
No, she was Valeria. I just had to figure out how much I could trust her.
A knocking at the door broke me out of my reverie.
I looked at the front of the cabin and saw that Valeria had slid a piece of paper with the keys to the car on it under the door.
I got up and recovered them. Opening the door with my left hand, I kept the gun in my right.
As I stepped out, Valeria was sitting cross-legged with her back to the cabin.
I noticed I had a clear path to the car.
Well, it was at least a peace offering. I walked slowly, keeping all my attention on her.
I was really not sure if I could stop her if she wanted to take the gun away from me, but I was tired of being the victim in this story.
Dominique would have been ashamed of me.
I slid into the driver’s side of the car and started the engine. I took a moment to adjust the mirrors and came to a decision. Sliding the windows down, I leaned toward the passenger side.
“Hey, bitch, you coming or not?”
Valeria got to her feet and rushed over to the car.
As she opened the door, I froze her with a look. “This is not forgiveness.”
Valeria nodded as she closed the door.
*
“So where are we going?”
I have to give it to her; she lasted almost a half hour. I’m not sure I could have held out that long.
“We are going to see my sister.”
“I thought you didn’t know where she was?”
“There was so much shit going on I had forgotten the note my sister left me.”
“I thought the Hell Pack thug got that.”
“I snapped a picture of it first with my phone, mostly because I lose shit all the time, but this time it came in handy.”
“But still, aren’t they going to have already gotten her?”
“Nope…” I waited and so did she. Wow, Val—Valeria—was on her best behavior.
“Me and my sister used to collaborate on fantasy stories when we were growing up. I even came up with an original language for us to use after I heard that was how Tolkien got his start. Nobody but me would be able to read the message.”
“Okay.”
She did not ask for further details. Valeria was doing everything right, at least so far. I figured it was time to push my luck.
“So, what is the real story? How far does the conspiracy go? Do you people control all the governments or just America? Did you kill Kennedy, fake the moon landing, get George Bush elected?”
“Hey, we may be evil, but we are not Republicans.”
Fuck, I actually smiled at that. Dominique whispered to stay strong; it was almost the third act.
“To be honest, I am not that high up. I don’t know the inner machinations of the Menagerie. I am mostly just a cop who gets asked to lose paperwork sometimes.”
“The Menagerie?”
“That’s what we call ourselves, those of us who are affiliated with the totemic spirits.
The grand majority of us just live our lives.
I am a regular cop. I mean, between the Veil and the average person thinking everything on the internet is a fake, I think the hidden world stays hidden pretty much by itself. ”
“The Veil?”
“There is a kind of barrier between the senses of normal people and what is really going on in the world. Like when you first saw the Hell Pack in the hotel. You saw a guy and a dog. When a person is exposed to supernatural trauma, then the Veil is lifted, and they can see what is really going on. When that normally happens, we try to ease the person into our world.”
“So, what happened with my sister?”
“I don’t know. All I got told was that there was a danger of her doing a major exposure of the Menagerie. The council asked the Hell Pack to collect her so they could convince her not to do that. They screwed that up and I got called in to find her.”
“And after you found her?”
“I was told they were going to negotiate with her to keep her silence. That is all I know. I had never gotten called in for one of these before. I told you I am new to the precinct since my surgeries.”
I was not sure I could trust Valeria about everything, but I was convinced she was at least telling the truth for the moment. “So, what happened to you? What trauma did you experience? A cartel full of drug-fueled Aztec warriors trying to bring their wares to Chicago?”
“Okay, that seems vaguely racist. I wish I had an interesting story; it runs in the family. My mother could change, and so could my grandmother. It was one of the reasons my mom had so little trouble with my transition. She said the spirits always knew my true self.”
She was right, and I felt bad. “Sorry. So, the books said you get more abilities by becoming attuned to your totem but did not really go into details.”
“It varies wildly depending on the clan and sometimes even among the individual species. It usually is something that resonates with the spirit. A wolf spirit gets more powerful the longer it spends with other members of its clan, or there are cats that get more power from the things they kill. Mostly it’s by becoming in sync with your inner beast.”
“So, how many people have you killed?”
“None. I shot this idiot who was running naked with a kilo of cocaine and an AK-47 once, but he lived. When I shifted from being a beat cop to being a detective and started stalking criminals in the dark, I got a small surge. I am okay with what abilities I have. Now Lycos, the leader of the Hell Pack, is obsessed with getting more power both personally and with the council.”
“So, there are separate groups among the Menagerie depending on what you change into. Could I go to the other cats?”
“I am not sure. Unlike the wolves, we are a lot less organized, just the nature of the beast, I guess.”
I gave her a look and tried not to smile, but it came out anyway. “Very funny.”
“There are exceptions; you don’t happen to have a lion inside there?”
I hesitated. I felt I should be playing things close to the chest. I really had no choice though she was the only person remotely on my side. “I think I am something a little more exotic.” I related my dream to her.
“Wow, snow leopard, huh? I don’t think there is another one like you in North America.”
“So, nobody is going to have my back, huh?”
“I do.” She reached out and grabbed my hand, and for some reason, I let her. She gave it a squeeze. I could feel Dominique slapping me on the back of the head the whole time.
“And your totem does; try to listen to the feelings inside, and it can guide you on the path.”
“I’ll try. Trust is not something I am overflowing with at the moment.” I put both of my hands on the steering wheel.
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Wait, we are just getting to the personal questions?”
This time, I did not smile. I could be strong when I wanted to.
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“How do you…” I could not find the words.
“How do you stand up when you need to? When that biker came at you. You did not hesitate. You just took care of business. My dad was like that. Whatever needed to be done, he would run his hand through his bushy mustache a couple of times and then just get it done. I have these reflexes that are ingrained, but when I try to do them, all I hear are the voices telling me I’m a fraud.
I wasn’t a badass who killed two bikers.
I was the scared chick who barely got out of a bad situation in my life.
I am sure my Totem thinks I am a total wuss. ”
Val looked deep into my eyes and held out an open hand, but I did not move mine from the wheel.
“Okay, first things first. No one is born a quote-unquote badass. I was a beat cop once who pissed herself the first time I took incoming gunfire, but I kept going anyway. I suspect your dad was much the same way. You remember your dad after years of service; you did not get to see what he was like when he was going through basic training. I do not see a wuss; I see a survivor. I think so would your father.”
I moved my right hand from the steering wheel and took hers.
“And another thing. You do not have to kick ass to have value. You know what me and a lot of your readers like about Dominique?”
“The fact her book covers have her in tight black leather.”
“There is that, but no. We like her because she is clever, never gives up, and cares strongly about the people in her life. These are all things I think came from you. Being a strong person has nothing to do with getting in fights. It’s about standing up for the people and values you care about.
I think once you get out of your own way, everything will fall into place.
” I removed my hand from hers and brushed away a tear.
“Now, will you tell me where the hell we are going?”
“Jamestown Mall.”