16 - ADAM
It became impossible not to think about Lara and Guilherme.
My life had been running on autopilot, and then it took an irreversible hit.
A son is irreversible. I try to stop my mind when it drifts to whether we really are the kind of people who attract each other, who find each other—magnets. A son. Mine and hers. A son.
Throughout my marriage, I’ve avoided getting Laura pregnant at all costs.
I mean, I even used two condoms. Absurd!
I invented a dysfunction, bad sperm, the whole nine yards.
I don’t want a family like this. I never did.
Especially now, without my friends, without anything, just work and...
nothing. One condemned man is enough—I won’t drag a child into this.
A son with Lara. A child conceived in love.
Yes, there was so much love, regardless of the circumstances.
I never just had sex with Lara, even when I thought it was a fling from one crazy night...
I made love to that woman. I didn’t want to.
I resisted. I refused the bachelor party.
They convinced me. If I let myself go down that rabbit hole, I’ll end up concluding I should thank those bastards Olavo and David.
Especially that son of a bitch Olavo, who set everything up, even behind his accomplice David’s back.
Guilherme... suddenly, I feel warmth in my chest.
“Wow, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you smile like that.”
David’s voice pulls me from my reverie. I harden my expression.
“We don’t talk anymore, right, I get it. I hope that... I’m sure it’s something good. I’m happy for you, Adam.”
I tell him to stick to company matters, to the professionalism he’s already proven he has in spades.
At home, I have to listen to Laura tell me you can’t make babies without sex.
After finding Lara, my wife’s obsession reached alarming levels.
We fight. It’s what we do most these days.
I take my pills and we have sex. I fake finishing, pull out before.
She complains. I say I need to piss. Every time I have a different excuse.
When you keep the upper head busy enough, it’s not so hard to keep the lower one quiet.
I’ve never used my hand so much, thinking about her. Embarrassing. I jerk off multiple times in the bathroom. Even at the office, where Nicolas barges in and almost catches me. He’s got to be fucking with me!
Same shitty scene, and I’ve got the cold barrel pressing against my forehead. What the son of a bitch didn’t expect was that I’d be prepared for his less-than-cordial little visit.
When I hired the security company, I set up every place where I spend the most time with 24-hour surveillance.
Back then, there was nothing I could lose if the guy turned out to be a real maniac.
Now? Well, I have a lot to lose. And yet, I’m sticking with what I planned years ago, because I knew a criminal like him would act again at some point to defend his little sister.
I stand up slowly. The gun follows. His eyes on me. Fury completely uncontained.
“Shoot,” I challenge him.
Nicolas’s gaze wavers. Mine doesn’t.
“Make your sister a widow,” I say through clenched teeth, firm. “Shoot.”
His thumb releases the safety. His index finger on the trigger. Eye to eye.
“I’ll tell you what happens next, Nic. The numbers plummet, my family declares bankruptcy.
Your beloved sister burns through everything she has, all while crying over you.
You know why? Because you’ll be dead or in prison.
Those will be your only two options after murdering me.
” I point to some corners of my office. He backs away slowly, the gun spinning in his grip, still aimed at me.
“You might manage to get in, but get out? Tsk tsk, not this time, Nicolas. No chance. I guarantee it. Just as I guarantee that even if you give up and leave here with your tail between your legs, these recordings will always be safely stored.” Clearly confused, he considers his next move.
“How naive of you, thinking that after your little visit three years ago, I wouldn’t take the proper precautions.
” I sit on the edge of the desk, watching him like a mouse in a cage.
“Since you’re going to kill me now, tell me,” I cross my arms, “was it you or Natanael who fucked my wife when she was a teenager?” His face goes terrifyingly pale.
I try not to be shaken by the truth I find in his expression.
“Do you two still screw each other?” Nicolas’s mouth opens without making a sound.
“You know, you should have applied yourself better to this life of crime, the same way you applied yourself to fooling my entire family.”
I see him pull something from his pants pocket. If the movies taught me anything, that cylinder must be a silencer, which he screws onto the barrel with a perverse smile. I could never smile like that. The guy is good. And I’ve got one foot in the grave.
Nicolas approaches. We don’t break eye contact. We duel. He positions the barrel on my chest, lowers it... presses it against my dick. A thousand times over, a bastard. Worse than dying is having them find your body with a bullet in your cock. Shit!
“Looks like you’re not going to answer me.
A man has the right to one last request before kicking the bucket, Nicolas.
So tell me, if my security calls the police, what will they find at your parents’ mansion?
Or at that little front you call a house?
My people told me some very interesting details. ”
I hear the muffled blast. The searing pain in my thigh. The smell of gunpowder fills my nostrils. I hold back the scream in my throat. Our gazes locked.
“If you divorce Laura, she’d better walk away with everything she’s entitled to and then some.”
He knows I won’t report him. He knows I love one of his sisters. He knows about Guilherme. That’s what scares me most.
“You can count on it,” I say, my voice strained.
As soon as Nicolas leaves, my security guard enters.
He wants to check everything. I gave express orders that if the bastard showed up, they weren’t to interrupt.
He alerts the others to let the son of a bitch go.
I drag myself to my CEO chair, see the blood on the desktop, the hole. The bullet lodged in the floor.
At the hospital, I'm treated discreetly. Luckily it missed the femur, no arteries hit, just went through the muscle—nothing too serious. A few days of recovery and medication. Another perfect excuse not to sleep with Laura. I almost call Nicolas to thank him.
I find out Lara actually lives in Sydney, works at a company I know well. Turns out it was Olavo who recommended her. The bastard shows up to visit me at home. I wouldn't say we're back on good terms, but we're getting there. I think.
The only thing I know for certain after being cleared to travel is that I need to see them. But first, there are some things I need to do.
Dinner at the Devereaux mansion unfolds like it has lately—in absolute silence. My parents know that I know. I know that they know. So we leave it at that.
No. Not anymore.
“You manipulated me however you could,” my voice carries across the lavish table to reach them, their eyes staring at me in shock.
“And I forgive you.” Now that I have their attention, I continue calmly.
“I always judged Olavo. How could he accept everything from his parents?
Why did he still live with them? Why didn't he...
? In the end, he's the bravest and most authentic of all of us. I thought I was the best, the most righteous, the most upstanding... like you, Dad. And I was the biggest puppet in this whole charade.”
Mom draws a breath to speak. Dad silences her with a gesture. I despise that move. I need to unlearn it myself. I continue:
“All to close a deal. My future, my personal fulfillment—beneath everything else.
That's what my life is worth to you. And I let it be worth just as little to me.
I allowed it. But not anymore. The merger is done, running at full steam.
I'm putting my needs first.” Mr. Archibald takes a sip of his water.
I can't fathom his calm. “I'm filing for divorce.” Mom stiffens but stays silent.
“And I'm going after the woman I love.” Both their eyes go wide.
“I need to win her back and prove I deserve to be a father.” If it were possible, their four eyes would pop out of their sockets. I smile, and they smile back.
When I see her open the apartment door, a light hits me so intensely I could die happy. This time, my smile isn't returned. Before she can slam it in my face, I stick my foot in the gap and—fuck, it hurts like hell. She's strong.
“What do you want, Adam?”
Crazy as it sounds, it's strange and wonderful to hear my name coming from her.
“To talk. To set things right.”
“What? Think you shorted me a few cents?” She tilts her chin up, so beautiful!
“Look, it was all very confusing, but I handled each situation as it came. It was my bachelor party, they told me you were women hired to entertain us, I...”
“Oh, so that doesn't count as cheating? How many times did you cheat on my sister, Adam?”
“That night, plus eleven days.”
She falls silent, staring at me.
“You don't owe me anything,” she finally murmurs, stepping back.
“I do,” I say firmly, “but I'm not here for her—I'm here because I'm a fucking selfish bastard.
Because I've never been more myself than when I was with you.
That night lit something in me that was begging to be fed.
I couldn't stay away when I should have.
Those eleven days were my paradise. I'm here because I desperately need that Adam back. Can you give him back to me?”
She laughs, running her hands through her hair. I thought I was being romantic—apparently I told a joke. Her light blue dress sways with her movement. So, so beautiful!
“Adam, I may have an ugly past with my family, but a cheater?
No. I would never knowingly cheat. Back then I had no idea who you were.
To me, you were just a nice guy who liked hearing me call him by his nickname—I don't know, maybe it made you feel powerful? All men like that, right? Thinking they have the biggest dick in the world.”
“Nice?”
“Don't push it, Adam...” She slaps her hands against her thighs—that body I want pressed against me again. “Go away...”
“Lara,” I lower my voice, stepping closer, “I filed for divorce.”
Her dark eyes freeze, then blink several times.
“You did?”
“Yes, my lawyers are handling it. It shouldn't take long—I'll give her everything she asks for.
Not because she deserves it, but because I want it over as soon as possible, and because, I hope, she'll become my sister-in-law.” I move closer.
The woman of my dreams doesn't move. “Lara,” I cup her beautiful face in my hands, “I love you.
I love you. And just like you told me about what I thought you were—well, I need to deal with the consequences of my actions too.
One of them is my heart, which has been aching for you for years.
The other is a little one I desperately want to meet, and who I want to know me.
Please, I'm begging you, give me back myself.”
Our eyes don't leave each other. Her breathing grows deep and heavy, like mine.
“Adam...” She's going to say no. She's going to deny everything. “I'm fine here. I started over. Don't confuse me anymore. Don't.”
“I messed up, Lara. I know that. I messed up badly. I should have paid more attention to my feelings, to your feelings. I let people blind me, silence me—I acted like a hypocrite. But that doesn't take away my right to my son.”
“Guilherme is at the playground downstairs with Mrs. Maya,” she says, her voice breaking as she holds back tears that also well up in me, “our very kind neighbor—he calls her grandma. You can go there.”
I sigh, devastated. Of course, it's good that she's letting me see my son. My right and my duty.
“Lara, teach me how to start over. Don't deny my love for you.” I press our foreheads together; she doesn't pull back, doesn't stop me.
“You deserve to be loved. I deserve to be loved.” I take a deep breath, my voice failing.
Our lips so close, I can feel her breath on me.
I need to control myself. “If you tell me you don't love me, that I don't have any chance with you...
Lara... I... I... I'll respect your wishes.
I promise. I give you my word. We'll just arrange visits with Guilherme. But please...” my hands tremble, my voice thick with emotion, “please...
don't condemn us to a life apart. These years have been enough. Please...”
I feel her tears mixing with mine. Her hands grip my shirt, squeezing tight. My whole body shivers. She doesn't say anything. She kisses me.
And it took five years to win her back, sustained by the faith that one day she would say “yes” to me.