Chapter Ten #2
She did. They had been good together, she remembered.
She had been dwelling on the bad as an excuse to forget him.
He had been kind to her, more than anyone else ever had.
He had saved her repeatedly and been there when she had to make the hardest decision of her life.
He was right. They were good together. But in her mind, she had cheated on him, and as much as he didn’t believe it, the memory of the night with Marco still haunted her.
“I can’t,” Callie said. “I can’t get that night out of my head.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“You say that,” Callie shot back. “But it doesn’t change what happened and how I feel.
The horror I felt when I realized what I had done.
The hurt in your eyes when you walked in on us.
” Ryan was about to protest again, but she continued softly.
“I have vivid memories of that night with Marco and of how I enjoyed it.”
She had whispered the last part, ashamed to even admit it.
Ryan sat back and took a breath. He hadn’t expected a confession like that, but now he understood.
She knew she had no power over what happened.
Her guilt stemmed from having enjoyed it.
He had been repeatedly sickened by the image of her and Marco together.
But now the image had changed. It was more detailed and showed her taking pleasure in it.
“There,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “That look on your face right now. That’s what will kill me a thousand times a day if we get back together, because I know you’ll never forget it either. No matter who did this to us, it doesn’t change what happened.”
Ryan wanted to object and argue, but he had no words to counter her.
He couldn’t deny it; she was right that those thoughts tormented him.
When he didn’t respond, she started to get up.
Wincing in pain, she limped toward the stairs.
Ryan moved to stop her, but a ripping pain in his side quickly incapacitated him as his broken ribs protested the sudden movement.
He fell back onto the sofa, yelling and clutching his side.
Callie paused only briefly, but when she saw Damian coming to aid Ryan, she rushed to her room.
After Callie left them, Ryan couldn’t move from the sofa. He couldn’t believe how much pain he was in. Every breath felt like his lungs were ripping in half, but he refused to admit it. He was adamant he wouldn’t leave without her, yet at the moment he couldn’t even move.
“Ryan?” Damian looked at him with concern.
“I’m fine,” Ryan whispered, though he knew he wasn’t.
“No, you aren’t,” Damian protested.
Damian walked over to Ryan to check on him and knew immediately that Ryan needed medical attention. He quickly went to retrieve their damp clothing. He quickly dressed and went back to help Ryan.
“Get dressed,” Damian said, tossing Ryan his things.
Ryan groaned as he pulled on his pants but couldn't lift his arm to put on his shirt.
Damian sighed and helped him, carefully pulling the shirt over Ryan's shoulders.
Because it was still wet, it was hard to pull it down, and Damian had to reach around Ryan multiple times.
Suddenly, Damian noticed Ryan had stopped trying to help and was letting him finish.
He realized he was standing very close to Ryan, with his arms wrapped around him.
“Damian, I’m sorry,” Ryan said before Damian moved away. “It never even occurred to me that the situation would affect you, too. I was too self-absorbed.”
“It’s really hard to stay mad at you when you’re this hurt,” Damian sighed. He paused for only a moment, then stepped back from dressing Ryan. “I’m going to tell Callie I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“No,” Ryan protested. “Let’s just leave. She’ll feel obligated to come with us. I don’t want her to come because she’s worried about me. I want her to make that decision without another crisis influencing her.”
Damian understood and was slightly relieved.
Ryan was right that Callie would want to go with them, but doing so would go against her true wishes.
They would leave and continue the conversation when Ryan recovered.
Damian had to almost carry Ryan to the car.
The pain was terrible, and Ryan was struggling to breathe.
Damian started to drive, but he had no idea where he was going.
The closest town was almost three hours away, but he wasn’t certain it hadn’t been hit by the storm.
He sighed. He could think of only one alternative, and he wasn’t looking forward to it.
“Unlock your phone and give it to me,” Damian requested of Ryan, who was only half-conscious.
Ryan didn’t ask any questions and handed over his phone. Damian found Amanda’s contact information and called it.
“Ryan!” she said, panicked. “It’s three AM. What’s wrong?”
“It’s Damian,” he replied quickly. “Ryan’s hurt. I need your help.”
Damian quickly summarized Ryan’s injuries. He told her what he was concerned about and that Ryan was now struggling to breathe. Amanda was concerned, and he could hear her searching her phone for a solution.
“You said you just left Gullrock?” Amanda asked.
“Yeah, there’s a bigger town about three hours away. I figured it has a hospital?” Damian confirmed.
“It does,” Amanda confirmed. “And there’s a helipad. I’ll get the helicopter and meet you there.”
Damian relaxed slightly. It was a good solution, but he was still three hours away from any proper care for Ryan.
Ryan seemed to have fallen asleep, and Damian continued to drive in silence.
The storm had passed. It was still raining lightly, but the damage was evident.
Several times, Damian had to swerve around downed trees or other debris.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan suddenly said, drawing Damian’s attention.
“Ryan, not now,” Damian said, trying to focus on the road. “Let’s get you taken care of first.”
“No,” Ryan protested, wheezing as he spoke. “I need to tell you. I really am attracted to you. And I’m a chicken shit for not saying so properly.”
Damian really didn’t want to hear it. He had put Ryan and Callie behind him.
He had finally accepted that, and then Ryan came crashing back into his life.
But they had both turned on Callie, and everything they had, or could have had, was shattered.
Ryan was in pain, and Damian wondered if Ryan even realized what he was saying.
“It doesn’t feel right without Callie,” Ryan continued. “Sorry, I know I’m not making sense.”
“It makes sense,” Damian admitted.
He knew what Ryan was saying. She was the link between them, and Ryan needed her to ensure he could accept his attraction to Damian without feeling as though he were cheating on her.
Or maybe it was so he could stay in the closet and pretend only Callie was attracted to Damian.
Damian didn’t want to consider it. He just wanted to get Ryan to the hospital and, hopefully, never see him again.
Ryan was sitting back with his eyes closed, trying to breathe deeply to control the pain, but his breath was shallow, and he was struggling.
“Fuck Damian,” Ryan groaned. “I don’t feel right.”
“I know,” Damian said. “It won’t be much longer. Just keep breathing deeply.”
He was lying. They were still more than an hour away.
Damian considered stopping for medication, but nothing was open at that hour, and anything he could buy in a store would be useless.
It would barely take the edge off. It was better to push through and go as quickly as he could.
He could see Ryan was struggling. Damian needed to find another way to help him.
“Give me your hand,” Damian said. Ryan slowly reached over, and Damian gripped it tightly. “Focus on my hand,” he continued. “Focus on my hand squeezing yours and listen to my voice. We are going to breathe together. Breathe in when I tell you, then out.”
They continued like that for the next hour, with Damian coaching Ryan through his breathing and pain management.
Damian’s voice was almost hypnotic to Ryan, and Ryan’s entire focus was on Damian’s touch and words.
They finally reached the hospital. Damian pulled the car up to the ambulance bay, and he was quickly approached.
“This is Ryan Grant,” he said, but he wasn’t given a chance to explain further.
“Yes, we are expecting him,” a doctor confirmed.
The car was surrounded by hospital staff, and Ryan was being helped out and onto a gurney. Then he saw Amanda approaching.
“Thank you,” she said to him quickly. “I’m sorry. I need to leave now. I’m taking him back to the city right away.”
She disappeared into the crowd that was now caring for Ryan. Damian got back into the car and began the long drive home.
“So he left?” Joel asked. “Without saying anything?”
Callie was at the restaurant, trying to help clean up the mess left by the people who had used the store as a refuge. Her ankle was still painful, so her tasks were limited to what she could do while sitting, which wasn’t much.
Ryan and Damian were gone when she woke. They had done what she asked them to do, which was to leave her alone. But she felt empty again. For half a minute the night before, it had felt good to have them nearby.
“It’s better for both of us,” she replied, and Joel gave her a skeptical look.
“He did risk his life to save you,” Joel pointed out.
“But you didn’t see the way he looked at me afterward,” Callie explained. “How can I be with him when I can see in his eyes how much he’s hurt? He’ll never get over it if he doesn’t let me go.”