Violet
It wasn’t simply the fact of the broken engagement that absorbed her, most of the time she wasn’t remotely concerned about other people’s love lives and talk of romance usually bored her witless.
As far as she could tell, relationships either worked (like her parents) or they didn’t (like her aunt and the philandering Uncle Tony), and once an attachment was over, the best thing for all concerned was a clean break.
Endless analysing didn’t change the facts– either you were compatible, or you weren’t and if the timing wasn’t right or two people had differing priorities it was better to call it quits than limp on for months of mutual self-delusion.
‘There is nothing more to talk about,’ she’d said. ‘Kyle was a wanker and you’re better off without him. End of. And for God’s sake don’t get another tattoo.’
Both men were sitting in the kitchen when she arrived home and Marvin gave her a hug and an expectant look as she came through the door. She always found it much easier to read the expressions of people she knew well, and Marvin’s excitement was bursting from every pore.
‘So!’ he said, barely able to contain himself. ‘Dev tells me you went swimming with a man. A gorgeous man who actually made you blush when you talked about him!’
She shot Dev a side-eye and he looked sheepish.
‘I did tell him that the gorgeous man was engaged,’ Dev said pointedly, glaring at Marv. ‘And therefore not a candidate for the highly prized affections of our favourite girl.’
‘So did you have a good Christmas, Marv?’ Violet said, hanging her towel on the radiator.
‘Nuh-uh, you are not getting out of it that easily,’ said Marv. ‘At least tell us what he looked like in his trunks, or did he, ugh, was he wearing those booties like you do? If so, forget it, I don’t want to hear.’
Violet wearily pulled out a chair and sat between the two men.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to get to bed, but first off, yes he was wearing the boots, and a good thing too, otherwise he’d have hated me forever.
Two, he did look amazing, despite the footwear.
He had on a shortie-wetsuit and basically looked like a very attractive, if chilly, surfer.
’ She waited for Marvin to finish his approving nod.
‘And three, it turns out he is no longer engaged.’ She rested her arms on the table and awaited their reaction to this incendiary final detail.
Dev took a sharp intake of breath. ‘Shit girl, that was speedy work! You’ve managed to break up his relationship within two days. What did you DO to him? Do I even want to know?’
‘Yes, we absolutely want to know,’ said Marvin, just in case it wasn’t immediately obvious from both their expressions.
Violet held her hands up. ‘It wasn’t me, your honour,’ she said. ‘They broke up months ago. He hasn’t told anyone.’ She sighed gloomily. ‘Which obviously means he’s still in love with her.’
‘Oh,’ said Marvin. ‘You’re right– bit odd to keep it a secret unless he’s holding out hope she’ll change her mind.’
‘Not necessarily.’ Dev glared at his boyfriend for the second time in as many minutes.
‘He might just be embarrassed. It might have just been easier to keep quiet and go with the flow. Maybe he thought, well I’ll wait and see and if anyone asks directly then I’ll let them know, I just won’t volunteer the information. ’
‘Is that not lying by omission?’ said Marvin before he was cut down mid-sentence by another of Dev’s looks.
‘That’s exactly what I said, Marv. And he did pretty much admit it. He also said that nobody had asked him the question quite as directly as me.’
Dev pulled her into a hug. ‘True to form,’ he said fondly. ‘Classic Violet.’
She rolled her eyes at him.
‘Main issue of course, is what we do with this knowledge,’ he said.
‘ We need do absolutely nothing with this knowledge.’
Dev steepled his fingers together. ‘Come now, Violet. We must do something, surely? This does change things a little– it’s one less obstacle, even you have to admit that?’
‘One less obstacle to what?’ scoffed Violet. ‘Eternal love and matrimonial bliss? We both know that’s not going to happen.’
‘Well, not immediately , no,’ Dev conceded. ‘But who knows in the future whether this could be the start of something big? Or even something small? Just a something would do.’
‘Are you suggesting that I’m turning into a sad, lonely spinster?’ said Violet. ‘I’ve had boyfriends!’ She put her hands on her hips. ‘I’ve had boyfriends recently .’
Dev gave her a sceptical look. ‘Hmmm– I’m not sure as random hook-ups constitute boyfriends . I know you can get laid when you want to, darling. I meant something with a little more substance. A relationship. Or just something that lasts for more than a week.’
‘Most men are boring after a week though, Dev,’ Violet said in a joke-whiney voice.
‘Ooof,’ said Marv, a hand to his chest. ‘She’s brutal.’
‘She’s not,’ said Dev, watching her closely.
‘She’s not as tough as she makes out, are you, little ice-queen?
It’s not just that you get bored because they’re not as clever as you, it’s that you don’t want to get too close to anyone.
’ He placed his palms down on the table conclusively. ‘I’m right, aren’t I?’
Violet pursed her lips in his general direction.
‘Aaaand,’ continued Dev, ‘I think the reason you’re not more excited about this broken engagement is that actually the news that this particular barrier has been removed terrifies you.’
She remained silent.
‘I think, maybe while this guy was safely engaged you could happily daydream about him, but now he’s single, and evidently just as capable of arsing up relationships as the rest of us, maybe you’re having to admit to yourself that you quite like him.’ Dev folded his arms triumphantly.
‘And he’s obviously interested in you’—Marv took up the baton—'because A – you’re gorgeous and funny and clever, and B – why else would someone go for a bollock-freezing open-water swim immediately after a night shift if they weren’t trying to get inside your deeply unflattering neoprene swim garments? ’
‘Hey!’ Violet laughed. ‘There’s nothing wrong with my garments.’
‘Well, it’s of no consequence either way. The man is available. You like him. He almost certainly likes you, even if he is still in denial about the ex. See how things go. There’s no hurry.’
‘No, there isn’t, although by New Year we’ll have finished nights and I’ll likely not bump into him again,’ Violet said.
‘So there is an element of jeopardy after all,’ said Dev, rubbing his hands together. ‘Not extreme jeopardy, but still, a time limit focuses the mind, does it not? And the heart. ’ He gave Violet a meaningful look and she pretended to stick two fingers down her throat.
‘Oh, God, Dev! Don’t get all romantic heroine on me,’ she groaned. ‘It feels complicated enough without the power ballad lyrics.’
‘It’s not complicated at all,’ said Dev with a decisive clap.
‘You’ve just got to be brave, seize the day, become master of your own destiny.
At least ask the poor boy out on a date that’s marginally more fun than a cold-water swim,’ he pleaded.
‘For me. For all that is good and holy in the world of romance…’
Violet sighed and pushed herself away from the table. ‘I’ve got to have a bath and get to bed,’ she said. ‘Much as I’d love to stay here and be emotionally blackmailed by the pair of you.’ She planted a kiss on both their heads as she stood and made her way to the door.
‘We just want you to be a happy little ice-queen,’ said Dev.
She turned and glared at him. ‘Stop it,’ she said.
‘You ask him out on a date or I’m going to come up with something even worse,’ he said, giving her a wicked grin.
* * *
Violet deliberated for longer than was customary on what to put into her text to Gus.
Eventually she settled for a simple, ‘back home’ with a smiling face emoji.
She had been about to add, ‘and heading to bed’ but that seemed unnecessary additional information so she deleted that line and left her phone charging in the hall.
Suddenly bone-tired, she made her way to the upstairs bathroom and summoned all her energy to turn on the taps.
As the steam rose in comforting billows she stepped into the water and felt the leaden weight in her limbs ease almost immediately.
She briefly considered falling asleep right here in the bath but at the same moment heard Dev’s voice shouting up to her to be careful not to do exactly that– people could drown in just three inches of water, you know – and she smiled.
He was such a mother hen– an evil mother hen, granted, but at least he cared.
She was reminded of Gus’s comments in the café earlier, about being lucky to have someone waiting for her at home. She was lucky, she knew that.
Because Gus was alone, had been alone for months, not confiding in anyone, not seeking comfort from another soul.
Actually, she didn’t know that for certain, he could have been seeking comfort in any number of warm, pliable female souls on a nightly basis for all she knew, but somehow, despite the fact that he had been living a plausible lie for the past three months, she felt that he was now telling the truth.
He had struggled to articulate his sense of loss, and perhaps that was because he hadn’t truly acknowledged it, but a break-up that significant must have wormed its way in beneath the cheerful exterior.
There had been a sadness in his eyes today that she hadn’t seen before, one that she probably wouldn’t normally pick up on, and this new vulnerability brought out the protective instincts she usually saved for those she kept closest, like Dev and her family.
Of course, if one looked at this from a scientific and objective point of view there were significant downsides to having these feelings– they inevitably left her more exposed, and Dev was right, she was more frightened by that than she cared to admit.
Because as well as being attracted to Gus, she really liked him.
He was good and kind and funny and charming, attributes she valued but also struggled to define or demonstrate in her own daily existence.
Why on earth would someone like that, someone so proficient in the alchemy of social interaction, want to be with someone like her– unless it was purely for a bit of distraction from his own heartache?
Besides, he had inadvertently proved her theory to be true. By omitting the truth for months to everyone around him, and by doing it in such a plausible fashion, Gus had demonstrated that he was more than capable of duplicity. He was, by definition, a practised and experienced liar.
She was reminded of her idea for her own tattoo.
Never trust a charmer.