Chapter 34
CHAPTER 34
JESSY
I am trying so hard to distance myself from this man. I have a job to do which is all that should concern me because it’s obvious he is in love with his girlfriend. I shouldn’t be having any thoughts about him other than he’s my boss and from now on, that is exactly how I’m going to view him. He’s my boss for however long we have and I must consider my future without him in it.
His company is relaxed and it would be so easy to be on more familiar terms. He acts more like a friend than a boss and I suppose that’s why I’m struggling. But I must try to draw the invisible line between us if I’m to survive with my sanity intact, so I keep my cool and act polite but show none of the interest I’m feeling inside.
He makes polite conversation on the way to Dorchester and I spin some tale about wanting to travel. I don’t, really. Obviously, I want to go on holidays and experience other cultures, but more than anything I want to settle down and build a life with someone I love and who loves me in return.
I want the dream I’ve held since I was a child, even before I understood what dreams were. Aside from the castle and the golden carriage, of course. Even I had to draw the line somewhere.
My parents have a happy marriage. They set the bar high and even though they never had much money, we never felt that as children. Both my sister and I had a happy childhood and now I want to offer the same to my children.
But I keep it all to myself because Luke Adams definitely doesn’t need to know that.
We park in the main carpark and Luke groans. “I hate Christmas shopping.”
I laugh. “And I expect you do that a lot because?—”
He grins, causing that ache in my heart that just won’t go away.
“Not really, but I can hate the thought of it, can’t I?”
“If you say so.”
I roll my eyes and make to pay for the parking at the machine and Luke’s hand covers mind, causing me to jump. “I’ll get this.”
His soft expression as he stares into my eyes causes my heart to race faster and once again we share a moment because I couldn’t tear my eyes away if I tried.
“Are you Luke Adams?” A young voice interrupts and Luke drags his eyes away from mine to a boy staring at him hopefully.
“Yes.” Luke smiles, turning his charm on the small boy who adds, “Your team is rubbish. I support Arsenal.”
“Ouch.”
Luke pretends to stagger and the boy laughs. “You’re okay though. Have you ever thought about transferring to Arsenal? They may be interested if you get your ankle fixed.”
I suppress the giggle that isn’t far away because you can always rely on children to say it how it is.
“Do you think they’d have me?” Luke replies good-naturedly and the boy shrugs. “Who knows? They may be interested.”
He says hopefully, “I don’t suppose you could take our photo?”
He is looking at me and I smile. “Of course, if it’s okay with Luke.”
“Sure.” He says and as the boy hands me his phone, I snap several and hand it back to his eager hands.
“That will annoy Ben Stevens.”
“Who is he?” Luke asks and the boy grins.
“Probably the only boy in the school who supports the Rangers.”
“The only one?”
Luke is shocked and the boy nods. “We’re mainly Arsenal supporters mixed with a few Southampton ones, but as their team is rubbish too, they keep quiet about it.”
His mother calls and he shouts, “Coming!” and then casts an appreciative smile in Luke’s direction and holds up his phone. “You’re cool though. Happy Christmas.”
“Same to you.”
We watch the boy bound over to his mother, who appears to be telling him off, probably for talking to strangers. Then I see her do a double-take and her attitude changes in a heartbeat, so I say quickly, “Come on, let’s pay before you get swamped.”
“I doubt it.” Luke rolls his eyes. “It appears the whole of Dorset supports Arsenal anyway, so if I get to experience anything, it’s probably them running me out of town.”
He pays for the ticket and as I place it on my dashboard, I shiver as the icy wind curls around any exposed part of my flesh.
I’m surprised when Luke unwraps the Burberry scarf from around his neck and before I can say anything, winds it around mine with a sweet smile.
“Here, allow me.”
“But–”
He shakes his head. “No buts. I don’t want to be responsible for you catching a cold. Who would I kiss under the mistletoe then?”
My face must be flaming and I say quickly, “So it’s self-preservation, so you don’t have to catch my germs. Is that what you’re saying?”
He shrugs. “I may have already caught something. That’s the trouble with things you can’t see. You don’t know when they hit you.”
For some reason, I don’t think he’s talking about germs and as the scarf nestles around my neck, I can smell his aftershave and still feel the heat from his body.
I am so conflicted, my emotions in overdrive and as we head towards the shopping centre, I wish more than anything we were here as a couple and not one half of another one.
Morgana texts Luke her location, and we head to the nearby pub to meet up with them. As we head inside, I notice her immediately, surrounded by fellow shoppers, all keen on taking selfies with her.
Luke laughs softly. “She’s so good at that.”
I must admit she is and I doubt there is a person in this pub who isn’t mesmerised by the star in their midst.
She waves and all heads turn our way as she yells, “Luke, honey, come over here and bring Jessy with you.”
Luke nods and whispers, “I’m sorry, Jessy. It’s always a bit of a circus when you go out in public with Morgana.”
I guess she’s only half the attraction and once again, my heart sinks. I don’t belong in their world as a paid employee or otherwise. I should give up on even praying for a Christmas miracle because I really don’t stand a chance.
I edge in beside Jasper, who is studying the photographs on his phone, a half empty glass of lager in front of him and he says without taking his eyes off the screen, “Hey, babe. Tell the barman what you want. We’re running a tab.”
The fact the bar is now several feet away, between which is a huddle of mainly women, all desperately trying to get to Morgana, makes my heart sink.
“I’m good, thanks.”
Steven leans across on my other side and pushes a glass of wine in my direction.
“Have Morgana’s. She hasn’t touched it yet; she hasn’t had the chance and I’ll weather the storm and grab her another.”
“But I’m driving.” I remind him and he huffs, “Of course. Never mind, I’ll fetch it for you instead. What do you want?”
“Just an orange juice, thanks.”
I smile as Luke glances my way, a huge smile on his face as he poses with Morgana and a couple of young women, and I note the adoration on their faces, and not just for him. Luke and Morgana are considered a power couple and she deserves the recognition for their success even more than Luke because she relentlessly creates content, while making sure she looks good and tries extra hard to make everyone feel good about themselves.
As I watch them together, smiling and laughing, his arm around her shoulders, tossing loving glances her way, I admit defeat.
Angie is wrong. I can’t possibly compete with that.