6. Kamryn
“Sarah! I really don’t feel like going to a party tonight!” I protest and go back to the history homework spread out on my bed.
My outgoing roommate has been pestering me all week about the back-to-school party. Apparently, it’s a can’t miss and all the who’s-who is going to be there.
I’ve never been a big partier. That and crowds just don’t mix well for me.
“Kamryn! I am begging you! This could be our in. Find some really cute guys and keep them on our regular rotation.” Sarah looks close to dropping on her knees and begging for me to go to this party with her.
It’s been a full week since classes started and we’ve bonded better than I could have hoped for. Which is still odd for me. But Sarah wormed her way into my life and wouldnt give up.
When I haven’t been with Liam or in class, Sarah and I have taken to roommate bonding. Movie nights with manicures and pedicures to screaming at the top of our lungs to Ashlee Simpson’s Pieces of Me. With our fun, we also have our serious; with mandatory studying for one-hour every night. Apparently studying excludes the weekends.
I weigh my pros and cons, because what eighteen-year old doesn’t? Can you sense my sarcasm?
I could go and be social, or I could be a hermit for the rest of the year. As well as continue my arrangement with Liam. Who I havent heard from in over a week. Am I a little hurt that he’s completely ignored me? Of course I am. This was the main reason why I never wanted him and I to hookup or date. The possibility that our friendship could end was too great of a risk to take. But I could either mope or go out.
I relent with a sigh. “What are we wearing?”
She shrieks so loud I fear my eardrums are going to burst. She immediately heads to my closet and picks out my favorite pair of jeans with holes strategically placed, a flowy white off-the-shoulder shirt all paired with gold earrings and brown sandals.
“Remind me again, why you’re not at Parsons or any other fancy fashion school.”
Sarah groans extra loud. “My parents want me to choose a reasonable career. They don’t think that fashion or design is it. I even reminded them that they came to me all the time for opinions on what they wore to work.”
“So what is your major? I don’t think I’ve asked you that yet.”
“Sports Management. Well, business but my main concentration would be Sports Management. If I can’t be a designer, I’d rather be a kick ass sports agent.”
I take her in. “So how does you wanting to be a designer veer to sports management?”
“Long story short, my parents are both entertainment lawyers. They never tell me the nitty gritty of what their actual job is because of the confidentiality of it all. But I know they work in the entertainment side: celebrities, athletes, and some politicians. I do commend them for being as present as they could be. They were around when I needed them. We spent holidays and birthdays together. But being an only child to two lawyers whose careers were important to them, made my childhood lonely. I think they took note of that. Which, again, is why they did their best to be present parents. They had a family friend take me on their work day and he’s in the sports management business. I don’t know. Something about that day just clicked.”
I watch her face as she talks about the clients he introduced her to. How when he was talking to his athletes he wasn’t belittling them. He cared about their future.
“You and Liam should talk. I know he’d love to go to the MLB.” I say to her, “It’s his dream and if he already has an agent, it’d be much easier for him.”
“Let’s wait a few years for that Kam.” A blush takes over her whole body.
“Alright, alright. I guess I’ll shower and get to work.”
“Yay!! We’re gonna have so much fun Kamryn.” Sarah announces.
I laugh all the way to the showers. It’s never a dull moment around her. As boisterous as she is around me I’ve noticed how shy she is around others. But the mask she throws on fools even me sometimes.
Getting ready for my first college party should have me elated. But something nags at me. Nothing goes right. From finding an outfit, to my hair…to Liam.
Sarah helps me out with an outfit, but tells me my hair is my own problem. I don’t blame her. Despite being in the south for almost a month, I still haven’t gotten used to the humidity trying to revive my curly hair. From the time I could learn, I had been straightening my hair so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.
Taming my curls to a beautiful blowout helped take the hassle off of getting ready. But when I decided to come to school here, I told my mom I’m going to attempt to get my natural hair back. And while it’s not at it’s full curl strength, it has waves and falls just to the middle of my back. So I work with that and finish the process of getting ready.
Me: Hey, I know you’re probably busy, but Sarah and I are going to that big back-to-school party.
Liam: Some of the guys and I are going.
His first response in a week is that? Looking back on the unresponded-to messages makes me feel like a fool.
Is this how it’s going to be? Maybe it’s a good thing we haven’t seen each other. I shake off Liam’s sour response and fluff my hair a few more times before checking over my makeup.
Our one-hour time limit to get ready turned into two-hours before Sarah and I are walking arm-in-arm down the street towards the party. In college they never say when exactly the party starts. People just start showing up with beer, liquor, and a kick-ass soundtrack.
By the time we’re half a block away, we already pass some sorority girl who’s crying with the support from her “sisters” and I have a momentary freak out that that’s how my life is going to turn out.
“Promise that won’t be us.” Sarah says to me when we’re past them.
“Thank god you thought the same thing. I promise. 100%.” I say linking our pinkies in a promise.
We continue walking and pass guys that I’m assuming are on the basketball team. It’s not so much of an assumption as it is them standing next to the basketball hoop at the end of the driveway. And they’re taller than your average college guy that doesn’t play a sport.
I turn to look at Sarah and see that she’s got her jaw unhinged. I politely push it back up.
“I can give you a moment. I’m sure Liam is around here somewhere.” I say taking some humor in the fact that she’s going goo-goo over basketball players.
“I’ll text you when I’m inside.” Sarah says as she sashays towards the group.
I watch her walk away and pull out my phone to text Liam.
Me: I’m at the party.
Liam: Come out back and I’ll get you a drink.
With a look back at Sarah and seeing that she’s happily occupied, I take a cleansing breath and walk through the house and to the back. My first thought is WOW! My second is why couldn’t this house have a side entryway leading to the backyard? The scent of sweat, Axe body spray, and Chanel No. 5 permeates the air. Not the best combination for a group of young adults, but it works.
I finally find Liam after being knocked around by all of the grinding and writhing of bodies in the house.
“Kamryn!” Liam says when he spots me.
I walk over to him and his team and am greeted with hugs all around.
The weirdness is present as I settle next to Liam with my arm around his waist and his arm around my shoulders. He places a kiss on the top of my head before going back to his conversation.
I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around the shift in our relationship…no friendship. Was I ever asked why he and I never took that next step? All of the time. I’m not sure if it was because our parents were friends, or some cosmic occurrence that kept us from crossing that line back then. But now, I’m still not quite sure either of us is ready to wipe away that line in the sand and crossover into something more.
Was the sex with him good? It was the best I ever had. Being with Liam would require more than just mind-blowing sex. With his lack of communication this past week it’s not off to a great start.
Maybe Sarah is right and that I do need to meet someone else. I’ve given her a rundown on our friendship and all that’s happened since we came to college. All I’ve truly known is Liam’s friendship. If this last week with him brushing me off is any indication, then my feelings need to be squashed.
They say the best way to get over a possible situationship is to get under someone else. I’m not holding out hope that he and I could ever be more. Okay, maybe it sparked to life a little during our arrangement. Call it an orgasm high. As I give it more thought, maybe it’s possible that Liam and I only have physical chemistry. Not relationship chemistry.
My phone buzzing in my back pocket pulls me from my warring thoughts.
Sarah: Meet me in the garage. I want you to meet someone.
Talk about a sign.
Me: Give me 5 minutes.
I tap Liam on the hip to give him a heads-up.
He lowers his head down to my ear. “What’s up?”
“I’m gonna go meet up with Sarah.” I pull back a little to see his brows furrowed.
“You want me to go with you?”
More distance will do us both some good. “No. You stay. I’ll see you later.”
“Are you sure?” Liam pulls back to look at me.
I nod. “Positive.” Leaning up on my toes, I kiss him on the cheek. “Have fun.” I tell him and walk away. I feel his gaze burning into my back as I make my way to the garage. Is that a metaphor for how this will go?
UGH! Be still my anxious heart. Maybe I’m naive, but I hoped with everything in me that this thing between us would be without the awkwardness and the feelings that come with it. If last week is any indication then I need to move on from what Liam and I almost had.
I finally make it to the garage and after squeezing through the many sweaty bodies that occupy the house, I find Sarah calls my name.
“Hey! Where’d you go?”
I point over my shoulder towards the general vicinity of the backyard. “I was out back with Liam and his friends. How was the basketball team?”
Sarah makes a gagging face. “Ugh. So not for me. All they wanted to do was talk about basketball. Theres a time and place for talking about sports. But when I’m just here to find a hookup, that’s the last thing I want.” Her nose scrunches up in the corner.
If it’s one thing I’m learning about Sarah is that she’s not one to mince her words once she warms up to you.
“You’re insane.” I tell her as I take the drink she made for me. I look around the room and see men that look like sex. It’s weird to think that about college athletes. But these guys are in a totally different class than the basketball team. “Where did you bring me?”
“Nice huh?”
I nod my head as words fail to form.
“This is unofficially the football lounge. The players apparently don’t like getting too rowdy with everyone else, so they kind of claim this spot as theres. You either have to be invited in, be friends with them, related to someone on the team, or dating one of the players.” Sarah takes my silence for what it is and explains this space.
I take a look around and see that she’s right. It’s definitely not as rowdy here. I can hear myself think. I’m not assaulted by gnarly scents. I already love it way more.
I’ve noticed the hierarchy that is D-1 sports. Especially some of the divide between the mens and womens teams. The football, baseball, and basketball teams are the top three breadwinners amongst the men. Especially the baseball team having won four national championships in the last ten years. But the football team is in another class. While they haven’t won as many championships in the last ten years, they have had the most players to be drafted to the NFL. While I’m not too sure about the basketball team, I do know they have a successful program.
With the womens teams: soccer, basketball, and volleyball are the top breadwinners here. I make a mental note to support the women this year. Sarah and I have bonded with some of the girls in our dorm that play a sport. They’ve been slow growing friendships with their busy schedules, but we hope by the end of the year something comes out of it.
My mind snaps back to where we’re at as I scan the room.“I like it. How did you get an invite?”
“I went to high school with the quarterback. Helped tutor him in AP English. We’ve stayed in touch ever since. I almost forgot he went here until he messaged me. Said I always had an open invitation to hang out in the football area. Figured it might be good for you too.”
I look at Sarah in horror. “Is that the reason you brought me here?”
She averts her gaze to something behind me before quickly looking back at me. “Not exactly. Mason, hi!”
“Sarah, how are you?”
Holy smooth-like-butter-talk-me-to-sleep voice. I turn and look at the guy that Sarah’s talking to.
You know that cliché moment in movies or romance books where the whole world fades away. And it’s just you two seemingly coexisting in the same space? That’s this moment. The moment where I feel things may change.
Because Liam, who? I ask myself. This boy...no scratch that...this MAN is just that. He’s a man. That Sarah so easily can talk to. Meanwhile, I’m next to her getting tongue-tied in my own thoughts.
He’s beautiful. Like, he could be Idris Elba’s twin brother. Or at the very least his cousin.
“Hi! It’s so good to see you. I’m doing well, how are you?” They embrace as if it’s been a while since they’ve seen one another. And maybe it has been a while.
I watch their interaction with fascination. It’s obvious they have an easy-going friendship. But that little green-eyed devil props itself on my shoulders begging to make something out of nothing.
Sarah turns her attention to me and I note the mischief in her eyes. “Kamryn, I’d like to introduce you to Mason. Mason, this is my roommate Kamryn.”
He steps up to me with a wide smile on his too beautiful face and sticks out his hand.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
Wordlessly, I place my hand in his and shake.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” I respond once I finally find my voice.
Sarah excuses herself not so discreetly, leaving Mason and I just looking at each other.
“So...where are you from?” Mason starts.
I look at him incredulously, which gives me time to gather myself. “Is that really the question that you’re going to start out with?”
He looks taken aback. “Um…no?”
“Perfect! Let’s start again.” I’m not usually this bam in your face! But with Mason, I figure I might have to be.
“Okay. Um, if you could identify with any animal, which would you choose?”
Oh my stars and stripes. “You’re not opposed to marriage after only knowing someone for thirty seconds, right?” I ask jokingly, although maybe a hint of seriousness laced in my teasing question.
“You know, Khloe and Lamar seem to be going strong, so why not?” Mason jokes back.
I may have met my match. “Touché. Identify with an animal. It’s a toss-up between an elephant or a horse.”
“Okay. If you chose an elephant, why?” He asks as he leads us, with a hand on my lower back, to a little bench in the garage. The butterflies take flight. And just from that one innocent touch…I think I know. We’re still in view of the football team, but this way we’re not screaming our answers over the sound of the music.
“Elephants are kind, nurturing, loyal, and gentle. That’s just one side of them. On the other, they’re protective in a way that just brings goosebumps to my arms. With their young, they place them in the middle. A protective barrier from predators and sometimes those in the herd. But they’ll also defend their whole entire herd from predators. Plus, they’re a few of the only animals to have an impressive memory. Yeah. I think having the memory of an elephant would be better than having the memory of a goldfish. Plus elephants are my grandma’s favorite animal.”
Mason looks at me with a smile on his face. “And if you chose a horse instead?”
“Oh goodness. Horses come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. They can be trained and used for very different things. But if I had to choose, it’d be the wild horses, or the ponies. Watching them adapt to an environment and then having to defend themselves against man and the earth’s natural changes takes a lot of fortitude. I’ve seen pictures of wild horses on the Eastern Shore in Virginia. It was breathtaking. But when it comes to horses they’re also like elephants. They’re gentle, loving, nurturing, and protective. And when it comes down to it, they’ll protect those that need it.”
“What’s your major?” He asks, looking at me in wonderment.
“Psychology. Why?”
He shakes his head in bewilderment. “With those answers, you could have easily gone the philosopher route.”
“Eh. No way to make a living off of that.”
“Sure there is! Motivational speaking is one way. Conferences on how to dig deeper on things that might not make much sense to others. Think of all the book deals you could have.”
He’s smart. I hate that I judge athletes. My best friend is an athlete and he finished in the top 10% of our class along with me.
“Maybe one day. Okay your turn. What would your spirit animal be?”
“Hmm. A lion.”
“Why?”
“Lions operate in packs. Granted they’re mostly female, I operate in a male pack so that’s one major difference. But the lions work as a team with the other lions and lionesses. The lion is the leader of the pack, but also the loner.”
I see where he’s getting. “So even though you’re probably surrounded by droves of coeds on campus, you’re still a loner. How is that possible?”
“I never liked the attention.” He starts and scrunches his eyebrows in concentration. “Football came easy to me. Obviously, I mean I wouldn’t be on the team if I didn’t like the sport or have the talent or drive. But I help the team get the wins and I’ve kept myself in that spot. The fanfare that comes with being the starting QB becomes a distraction more often than not. So I do my best to keep my head down and focus on football. As much as this school loves believing that us athletes juggle the girls at this school, I’ve always been a one-on-one type of guy.”
“Interesting. No pressure though.” I say while my heart is threatening to burst from my chest.
“No...shit...I mean. I didn’t mean that you’d be the girl that I go after. I’d never do that to any female. My momma taught me better than that.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “Well, if I was looking for someone, you might be my top pick.”
He turns his smile up a notch. “Do you wanna take a shot with me Kamryn?”
“Just one?”
“Okay. Two if we’re feeling real daring. We’ll do that.”
“Deal.”
“Okay!” My professor starts to say as we start packing up to leave class. “I want you all to write a paper on what it means to be a psychology major, what you expect to learn from studying this subject, and why you chose psychology to begin with. I want that on my desk in a week. Have a good weekend.”
School’s been in for a couple of weeks and I’ve never been so busy. I’m not complaining because I love the work, but I’d love for just a moment to breathe.
Jax: Hey sissy! How’s college life treating you?
Me: It’s insane. But in a good way
Jax: Meet any cute boys yet?
One boy comes to mind. But I haven’t run into him since the party. I try to tell myself that it’s a big campus. That he’s an upperclassman. The feeling of being forgotten so easily and so quickly stings a little too much to admit to anyone.
Me: Jax! No. I’m too focused on school right now to even think about that
I also refuse to mention my kiss or any of my arrangements with Liam to any of my family. If they knew they’d throw a party and start planning our wedding. I’m not ready for that. Least of all with Liam. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy. But he got weird after that night. And I refuse to hold out hope for someone that won’t reach out to me. Sure feelings may have stirred up for me, but I’m definitely not ready to pursue a relationship with him or any man for that matter. Well maybe one man. But, again, I haven’t seen him since the party.
Jax: Fair enough. So what are your plans for the weekend?
Me: Me and Sarah are going to a football game Saturday and maybe a frat party. And then Sunday I’m working on homework.
Jax: Boring!
Me: This is pre-adulting my dear sister. A delicate and equal mix of work and play.
My sister chooses to tell me how school for her is going. She’s indecisive about running for Student Body President. So as her older sister, it’s my job to hype her up and tell her that she’d be a great voice to have at the school.
I’m so preoccupied with texting my sister that I run…literally run (well walk) straight into someone and drop my phone.
“Ohmygod I’m so sorry!” I exclaim.
Hands land on my biceps to steady me. “It’s alright sweetheart. I think I’ll live.” The voice says. And holy crap! If this isn’t the voice that has haunted my dreams for a week. The voice I’ve touched myself to.
I trail my eyes up Nike-covered feet, black workout shorts that are hanging just right on his hips, over a CSU football shirt, and into the eyes of a delighted Mason.
“Wow.” I mentally smack myself. “I mean, hi. I almost didn’t recognize you in workout clothes.”
He chuckles a little. “Yeah, I like to keep people guessing.”
“I’ll bet. I really am sorry. My mom always warned me about walking and texting.”
“As long as you don’t text and drive, I think your mom would be proud.”
“Yeah.” I say and get a little lost in his eyes but shake myself out of it. “Uh…well…I should get going. Don’t wanna be late for class.”
“Sure.” He says and steps aside to let me pass.
I’m about five steps away from him when he calls out my name and I turn around to acknowledge him. “Yeah?”
“I think you’ll need this.” He holds out my phone to me that I somehow forgot that I dropped.
My eyes widen at my dumbness. “Oh, right! Thank you.”
“Since I have you right here again, do you mind if I get your number? Since I was the loser.” He asks me very nervously.
A snort escapes before I can stop it. “Sure. But does that line ever work for you?”
“It has until now.”
This gets a laugh out of me. “Give me your phone.” Once he unlocks it and I type in my number, send myself a text, and then I hand it back to him. “Only use it if you really need to.”
“I intend to. I’ll see you around Kamryn.”
“Bye, Mason.” A blush and smile covers my cheeks as I walk away from him.
I close the door to my dorm with a huff. Tossing my bag onto the floor and flopping onto my bed.
“What’s up with you?” Sarah asks from her spot at her desk.
“I literally crashed into someone today. And not just any old someone. A hot, tall, and athletic Mason. I dissolved into a puddle of mush when I looked into his eyes.”
Sarah’s chuckling at my rant. “Okay. Slow it down now. Now tell me what happened?”
So I go into how I was texting Jax when I walked out of class and wasn’t paying attention to where I was actually walking when I ran into someone. I omit the fumbling and gawking I did. She’d tease me for eternity.
“Wait, you ran into Mason? How did you not recognize it was him?” Sarah asks, barely containing her laugh. “This is too priceless.”
My eyes widened in response. “Sarah, its not funny! Plus I told him he looked different in workout clothes. UGH! Why was it so much easier to talk to him at a party than it was in a hallway?”
“Maybe it’s because you didn’t have the alcohol cloud surrounding you? I tend to lose the beer goggles once the lights turn on.” She says with a finishing smirk.
“Oh hush!” I say and dissolve into a fit of giggles.
The party where I met Mason was…it was a dream. So it’s been a little over a week since I’ve seen Mason. How I forgot what he looked like I have no idea. His voice has been the star of my most recent fantasies since we met.
In our hysteria my phone pings with an incoming text from an unknown, but South Carolina, number.
“It’s him!”
“What does he want?” She asks as she looks at me expectantly.
“To know if I want to go to dinner with him on Tuesday.”
“If you don’t say yes, I will.” Sarah says with a wink.
Me: What did you have in mind?
Mason: Pizza?
Me: Sounds good to me.