21. Mason - Age 29
“You’re being traded Brooks,” My coach announces as soon as I sit in his office.
Not what I expected on a Tuesday morning.This sudden news has me more off guard than it should. I’ll need to rip into my agent for not keeping me in the loop.
“When? And I didn’t know there was any talk of a trade,” I utter getting a little ticked off.I’m trying to mask my hurt, but I feel it’s coming off more like a child whining.
I’ve been playing in the league for almost eight years. I turn thirty in a couple months and am in my prime. I’ve continued to get stronger and in turn that’s helped me become one of the best QB’s in years.
These past eight years have been some of the most challenging in my life, it’s also been enjoyable but again, far from easy. The training my first year knocked me on my ass. And then the practices were grueling. During the three months of training camp my rookie year, I always went back to my apartment and crashed.
On top of rookie year I was still heartbroken. I rarely went out. I hung out with some of the rookies when interviews would be held at the facility. Some might even call me a monk because I haven’t even so much as touched a groupie or glanced in the direction of any female. I’m a one woman type of man, and the only woman I want probably still hates me.
I wasn’t celibate but when I needed a release, one night stands were my go-to. Just never in my personal space. It still stands that I never led any of my hook-ups on. And trust that they have tried their hardest to get me to go for more. My heart would never be in it though.Those women deserved more than someone who never had more than half their heart to give.
My coachs goodbye speech brings me back. “They’re making the announcement tonight. The Bengals just lost their number one QB to a career ending injury and the backup has lost three games in a row. Badly. And the rookie that they do have is nowhere near ready. We have a good QB roster thanks to you. You’ve helped lead this team to some impressive wins and two Super Bowls. You should be proud. Carolina is proud of you.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to suggest one of them to be traded. But that’s not how this game…this business works. And as the words “you’re being traded” continue to sit heavy in my mind, I have an out of body experience. My limbs feel like they weigh a ton. My tongue feels glued to the roof of my mouth. My mind feels as if I’m walking through the worlds thickest fog.I can’t get my thoughts together as I realize my time here has come to an end.
“Thank you, sir,” I respond slowly.
“You’re welcome. I know your agent will talk to you as he’s already been made aware of what’s happening.”
And that’s exactly why I’ll need to have it out with my agent. I pay him a great deal of money to not let news like this happen without my knowing.
My coach continues, “Now the deal is a five-year contract with the option of a two-year extension. You’ll be playing for the five-year contract with a worth of $290 million and if they pick you up for the two-year option it’ll be a guaranteed $60 million. If you do happen to get injured, they have the option to buy you out, but that’s fairly unlikely. They’re already putting a lot of money on you. Which is a good thing. The Bengals have a ton of cap space so you shouldn’t have to worry about that. You’ll be given a lot of hate because you’ll be one of the highest paid QBs in the league. But I have faith in you Mason. Now get out of here. Go home and start packing.”
In a daze I stand up and shake my coaches...well now former coaches and owners hands. Carolina was the team that drafted me right out of college. Surprisingly, Ive been here since then. My family loved that I was so close to them and so did I.
But I also felt like I was too close to her.
I’ll never tell anyone this, but I kept tabs on her. Or I at least tried to. It was hard. While I was getting ready for my rookie year, I was still mourning a very raw heartbreak. I heard that she was struggling. And that she avoided a lot of social activities. Which seemed strange to me since she was the social chair for her sorority.
When word got back to me that she moved on with Liam, it stung. But it had been well over a year since I had ended it with her. All of a sudden I came to the conclusion that if I would have wanted her to move on with anyone, it would be with him. Crazy as it sounds, I knew that he could take care of her. Until the accident happened. After that I stopped checking up on her. It didn’t seem right.
That news shook those of us that went to college with him. My phone lit up with text messages asking if I talked to Kamryn. I hadn’t but I had to play aloof because saying that she and I hadn’t talked since I was drafted makes it seem like I cut her out of my life. I was at the funeral. Hiding in the back because making my presence known during a time she lost someone she loved seemed like it would be a selfish move. And that was not the time for me to give her a shoulder to cry on. I have no idea what happened in their relationship, but I respected her grief.
But watching her speech to him. The way she continued to break as each word poured out of her beautiful mouth. It tore me apart. Each tear that fell, tore me apart. I wanted to storm up to the podium and hold her. But I couldn’t. So I stood in the back helpless and watched as she broke. And then I watched as she was yelled at by one of Liam’s best friends. It took everything in me not to step in. When the funeral was over I walked away. And since that day, I did what I could to push her from my mind.
One thing that has me questioning this move, is that she and I always talked about settling down in Cincy. It appealed to both of us. It had the sports, the nightlife, the culture, the city life and the suburban/ family life. I don’t know if she ever moved there. If she stayed in Philly or moved out west. I have no idea.
Like I said, I stopped checking up on her.For my sanity I needed to.
“Hey, Mom.”
My relationship with my Mom was tense when I started my rookie year. I don’t think she understood the heartache that I endured. I kept her at a distance the first year and it shifted the family dynamic for a while. Over the years my resentment towards her faded and in its place is a solid mother-son relationship. I kept my siblings out of the loop with that part of my life as they didn’t need to be in the crossfire that was my life at the time.But it didn’t stop the texts from my siblings asking if I was coming home for the off-season.
“Hey sweetheart. What’s going on? Shouldn’t you be at practice?” My family also knows my practice schedule should they need to get in touch with me at the last minute.
“I should. But I just got word that I’m being traded.”
“What? Where? Why?”
I snuff out a quiet laugh. “Yeah. The Bengals. Apparently, the starting QB is out for the rest of the season and the backup QB has lost three straight games. I don’t know. It’s all a business.”
“That it is. I’m sorry Mason.” Sadness is laced in her voice. She loved that I played close to home.It’s not that I went home frequently. But having the option to pop in for a visit when I needed a break from football was welcomed.
“It’s alright. Well, hey, I gotta go. I need to call my realtor and see if she can find something for me fast.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
As I finish cleaning out my locker, I’d like to say that a rush of emotions hit me. Like a montage of my time playing here flashes on an invisible screen. But they never come. While I’m sad to be leaving the team that’s been my home for the last almost decade, I’m excited to try a new team. Like my coach said, I’ve done all I could for the team. It’s time for me to try somewhere else and leave my mark there.
The move turned out to be relatively smooth. All I needed to do was call a moving company and they packed up what I couldn’t do on my own.
My realtor found something outside of Downtown Cincinnati so close to the stadium that I could walk.
Now I’m as settled as I can be in my new place when I see a magazine based on local talent. It’s a blog type magazine where it focuses on local talent or talent that moved here and is now picking up.
The article is doing a feature on the company called Ryn amp; Co. The designer started in her last two years of college, but it fell to the back burner before she could get it funded. Then she had some personal life changes that ended with her scrapping the entire brand as a whole. Until one day she picked right back up where she left off, and her company has only gotten more successful. She’s been all over the place for work and even did three shows in New York for fashion week. The article was truly enlightening. Until I flip the page that identifies the designer. “The face of Ryn amp; Co is none other than Ms. Kamryn Rawlins.” It goes on to highlight her accolades and gives a picture tour of her office. She’s even more beautiful than she was in college. When I notice the baseball and football stadiums flanking her in the background, my heart thumps an erratic beat.
In my shock of this being her interview, it dawns on me that she did move here. And she’s made a successful name for herself. I don’t see a ring on her finger, but that doesn’t mean she’s not dating anyone. That tiny spark of hope tries to ignite itself so that one day we could reconnect. The other part of me fears that if she is dating someone else that our time to ever be an us again, is truly over. But as I look at her face in the picture, it’s clear that she looks sad. And worn down. Like she hasn’t had any time to absorb the changes that happened to her.
As much as I dread seeing her, I’m also clinging on to the little bit of hope that tries to ignite.
Will she be angry? Of course she will. I expect nothing less.
Will she cry when she sees me? God, I hope not.
That time with us on the bridge still haunts me. I can still see the tears that stream down her face. Hoping that the words I’m spewing are that of a lie.
My phone beeps with a text from some of the guys I played with my rookie season that got traded around my fourth year at Carolina. They said theres a new dance club and they’re going to if I want to join. I’m not usually a club go-er, but it’s a way to get my feet wet in this city. The group chat popped off when they got the news that I was being traded here. It makes coming to a new team easier as the chemistry we had those first few years in the league was something out of textbook football.
Me: Time and I’ll be there.
Jordan: 10:30
Me: Great
On my short ride from the airport, I noticed how eclectic the city was. Whilst it was still early that people were still at work, what I saw when I was driving through got me excited. I’ll have to reach back out to my realtor to see if she has any recommendations for me to venture around to. What I loved most about living in Charlotte was how the city would block off the streets with vendors and small businesses that would set up shop for the day.
I shake myself out of the one day possibility of roaming the city without anyone causing too much fanfare over seeing me in public. It’s the one down-side to being an athlete and your face is advertised all around the city you play for. Although, since my trade hasn’t been made public, that shouldn’t be too difficult for now. I like being able to roam the streets anonymously. And that is one thing I miss about college. I’m aware that comparing apples to oranges doesnt work. But playing in college and being able to walk around freely, was a breath of fresh air.
My phone buzzing with an incoming text makes me realize I just spent the last thirty minutes daydreaming. I toss the magazine onto the coffee table and make my way to the primary suite. I’m a man that likes living simple and I know that’s hard to do when I have the money that I do. But I have to hand it to Arabelle, my realtor, that she set me up in a good spot. Since I needed a place to live and not a lot of time to do that, she found a highrise with some of the sickest views I’ve seen.
Since the apartment was inspected last month, we were able to waive all the contingencies. With me paying in cash, the apartment was mine in no time. She helped me with my last place and knew I liked living in places that exude warmth. Instead of marble floors throughout, my place has hardwood floors throughout the main living space with new carpet in the bedrooms. The newest technology is fitted throughout and I made a deal with myself to learn the system. I have my iPhone and that alone was a task to get used to from a Blackberry.
I get ready in no time. My clothes are already hung up in my closet and in the dresser, so getting dressed is easy.
Jordan: Headed to the club.
Me: Headed there shortly as well.
I take a deep breath and walk out the door to a city that’s set to welcome me with open arms.