34. Kamryn
We’re walking through Downtown Cincinnati and I can’t help but steal glances at my handsome man. He’s still got a nice tan from our days spent wandering around the beautiful island that was Santorini and lounging at the beach and pool. And apparently all of the other females can’t stop staring at him either.
“What are you looking at missy?” Mason asks when I peek at him for the tenth time.
My cheeks pink in embarrassment like I’ve been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. “You.”
He smiles his shy smile for me, “And what are you thinking about?”
“Skipping lunch and going back to my place,” I respond without hesitation.
His eyes darken before he blinks a little and realizes that we’re in a public place. “Ms. Rawlins. You are insatiable,” he wraps his arm around my shoulder to bring me in closer to him. “Besides…it’s good for us to be seen out and about.”
Since Mason announced his retirement it freed up a lot of time for us. Our relationship went fully public. And while there was some criticism and people dug into our past, we haven’t let those opinions penetrate us.
With my design schedule being way ahead, I’ve given my employees a full week off. Will I come to regret this? Maybe. But I also have a collaboration with Nina in the works so it’s best to come back with fresh minds.
We’re meeting the girls and some of Mason’s former teammates for food. Since we’ve been living here we haven’t explored the way Downtown should be explored. And the best way to immerse yourself where you live is by eating. Our whole day is planned around food and bar hopping. With mine and Mason’s first stop to get a coffee and to split a giant cinnamon roll.
Once our food is purchased and coffee in hand, we find a bench to share our food.
“Ladies first,” Mason declares and holds the first bite out to me.
“I’m not just going to bite into it.”
He looks at me like I’m insane like I didn’t just hold up a whole cinnamon roll.
“You are one weird woman,” he proclaims.
I lean in to kiss him on the cheek. “Yeah, but you love me anyway.”
“I do.”
We eat in relative silence. Watching the mid-morning crowd venture into the still waking up city.
“What are you thinking about?” Mason asks, pulling me from my stare into the distance.
Turning to look at him, I blurt out what I’ve wanted to ask him since London, “Move in with me. I mean you’re there most of the time anyways. And while I love your apartment, Lucy can’t run around whenever.” I wouldn’t be a proper millennial if I didn’t think about my dog having the necessary space to run around.
“Are you sure?”
Nodding. “I’m one hundred percent sure. I’ve never been more sure.”
His answering smile is reward enough. “Yes. I’ll move in with you.”
It’s hard not to compare the future living situation to the past. But like I always war with myself, I’m older. Mason and I already spend most nights together. And as much as I love the view from his apartment, it’s not a home. At least not one where a family can be born or pets can roam free.
“So what’s next for you two?” Sarah questions when we’re at our final stop for the day, Trio City Exchange, and it’s just our group with a few other people that decided to stop in for the day.
We’ve all gorged ourselves on food and drinks that we’ll have to UBER to our respective homes.
“Like after here? Or in general?” I think I know what Sarah is getting at. But I want her to spell it out.
She gives me a are you dumb look. “In general, smartass.”
Blowing her a kiss, I announce to our group, “Mason and I are moving in together.”
“It’s about time” and “Congratulations” and “When’s the wedding?” are tossed out. I wasn’t joking when we were in London. I would marry Mason as soon as possible. Now that he’s retired and is waiting to hear back from some sportscaster jobs, we have time.
“Enough about us. Emily, where’s your beau?”
A blush covers her face. She’s been going strong with her new beau for quite some time. I’m still in awe of her resilience to let love back in. While it wasn’t as easy for me, she was more open to the possibility of finding the person that fills the missing pieces of her life.
“He’s at home, while his son is with his parents.”
I look at her quizzically. “He didn’t want to come out with us?”
“Kamryn, he owns a bar. The last place he wants to be on his day off is at a bar.”
I give her a you’re right nod.
I look around at the people that have become my people. But the happiness I feel with this group falters when I see Sarah watching the TV with a sad look on her face. I follow her line of sight and see a baseball game on. The truth is that I’ve been a terrible friend to Sarah. When Liam passed, she dropped everything to be with me. I guess in my grief and in my healing I refused to acknowledge anyone elses grief.
“Sarah. Come with me,” I place my drink on the table in front of us and kiss Mason on the cheek before heading over to Sarah.
Our hands clasp as I lead her to the back patio of the bar. When we’re seated, I wait for her jaw to unclench. In all the times we’ve been friends I’ve never seen her so upset.
“Sarah, I’m sorry.”
She looks up at me and a tear falls down her cheek. I feel like absolute shit.
“I’ve been a terrible friend. Because when Liam passed I could only think about myself. I never considered your part in all of it.”
Sarah was interning for the family friend that ran a sports business with agents. She was tasked with getting teams to get Liam on their radar. And as the days dwindled and no teams were calling for him, the defeat on both of their faces crushed me.
“I thought I was fine. It’s been years since he passed. But sometimes I’ll look around and feel like he should be here.”
The day Liam passed, Sarah got news that a team did want him. I never took the time to see how the other people in my life were affected. At the time my grief took precedence.
“Have you seen a therapist? Or at least talked to anyone?” Seeing a therapist helped me. I still see mine regularly.
She shakes her head. Defeat coats her body. Who was once the strongest and confident out of our group is slowly drowning in guilt. I don’t want what happened to him to happen to her.
I scoot next to her and wrap my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into me. “I think talking to someone would really help. You’ve always been Team Kamryn, well now it’s time for me to be Team Sarah. Anytime you need me, I want you to call me.” Her body trembles with the sobs I know she’s trying her hardest to lock down. “If you need to get away from the city, name the place and I will personally go with you. You don’t have to be tough every single day, Sarah. If you want a slumber party, say the word and I’ll have Mason do our bidding. You’re my best friend and I can’t lose you.”
We stay like this for however long Sarah needs it. What became a roommate assignee when we were eighteen, has become a lifelong sisterhood that transcends any sorority connection that we made. I catch Mason watching us from the backdoor and give him a small smile.
I almost feel even worse for abandoning the friendships I had for a relationship with him. While I know he would never make me choose, I do need to find that balance.