Chapter 13 #4
‘This is amazing,’ I gasp. Below us is a small courtyard with a fountain. The place is barely lit, so the golden light from the hidden wall lamps bounces off the water, scattering the courtyard in a ripple of orange waves that dance across the walls.
‘Isn’t it? I love it up here. You can’t actually get into the courtyard. This balcony has the only entrance.’
‘A secret garden.’ Enchanted, I lean over the balcony.
‘Yeah.’ He places his hand on the railing and it accidentally covers mine. The feelings that surge through my body are so intense that I gasp. ‘Sorry.’ He pulls back his hand. ‘I’m so sorry.’ He turns his face away from me.
‘No,’ I say, reaching out, placing my hand on the angle of his chin and moving his face back to mine. His gaze drops to my mouth, and my breath catches.
This can’t happen. He’s my boss, for God’s sake. I lied to him about the songbird, I…
‘Clara.’ His hand rounds the tight silk of my waist, coming to rest on the small of my back. The sound of my heart beating bangs against my eardrums as he groans. ‘You drive me mad. You know that?’
This is all happening too fast. Much too fast, but I don’t care. I just want more – more of his touch. His skin against mine. The feeling that nothing matters but the two of us.
‘I…’ But before I can even respond, his lips are on mine, and the world dissolves into a whirlpool of passion as he pushes me back against the wall. My skirt is up, and I’m drowning in a sea of silk, tulle, and desire.
‘We shouldn’t,’ he whispers.
Without a pause for thought, I reach up, grab his tie, and pull his face hard back towards my lips because we must. I let my hands, my arms, my body wrap itself around him.
I’ve never been touched, or touched anyone else, like this before.
Never felt this all-consuming swell of emotion and longing.
My dress is around my hips as he hoists me up against the wall then pushes the bodice of my dress down on one side, exposing a breast, taking it briefly into his mouth before slamming into me.
For one moment, the whole world stills, nothing matters, and nothing exists beyond the energy of our lust. I completely lose track of time.
It’s as if we’re no longer living in the same world as before. Time has no meaning.
When we eventually break apart, breathless, Marco drags a hand through his hair, looking torn and confused. ‘I shouldn’t have. I… I’m so sorry.’
Sorry?
‘No, I shouldn’t.’ He can barely look me in the eyes. ‘It’s not…’
I remember pulling his tie, forcing his lips onto mine.
I can’t believe we just did what we did.
I feel a wave of embarrassment. Awkwardly, I brush down my dress.
Tears prick my eyes. What came over me? The man is my boss.
This is a public space. My brother is downstairs!
Okay so not close downstairs, but he’s within sprinting distance.
‘It’s…’ he stutters. ‘I can’t help feeling… Shit.’ He drags one hand through his now thoroughly messed hair, the hair that only moments before I had grasped hard between my fingers.
I’m going to cry. I know I’m going to cry. He’s still blustering on, saying nothing. Not even looking at me.
‘I can’t help feeling…’
‘A secret courtyard, you say?’ A woman’s voice filters through the empty room at the back of us. The same room that we walked through. Panic floods through me.
‘Yes,’ comes a male voice. ‘Are you sure you haven’t been here before?’
Marco’s face pales. ‘Shit.’
‘Bugger!’ I panic, desperately trying to rake my appearance back together.
‘That’s Fitz’s parents.’
My entire world collapses.
‘You stay here,’ he says, straightening his tie, brushing down the shoulders of his jacket. ‘I’ll get rid of them.’
‘But…’ Whatever I was going to say dries on my tongue because Marco is not waiting.
This is clearly too important for him. He blusters out through the long, curtained windows, heading into the empty white room, a false smile plastered across his face as he moves through the door, shutting it behind him. Shutting it with me on the outside!
‘Hey, Stella, Ezra.’ His greeting is warm. Undaunted.
‘Marco?’ Stella’s voice rises in delight. ‘What are you…?’
‘Absolute bummer, the secret balcony is out of order,’ he says confidently.
‘What?’ Ezra sounds a little disbelieving.
‘Yeah. Can you believe that?’ Marco chimes in with all the ease of a professional liar. ‘All closed off. Health and safety.’
‘Oh,’ Stella says, a touch of disappointment in her voice. ‘Never mind. Have you heard the music in the Assembly Hall?’
I move shakily to my feet, and there’s the ear-splitting sound of glass crunching. I look down. It’s my phone. I just stood on my sodding mobile phone! Outside, the voices continue, oblivious.
‘I haven’t been there yet,’ Marco says with genuine delight.
Their voices fade into everyday chatter as they move out of the room.
Chatter that I’m fully aware would never include me.
Not in a million years. I’m not part of this world.
Standing hidden behind the closed doors, I realise exactly what it is that I am – the dirty secret.
* * *
MARCO
I’m not entirely sure how we get from the public rooms to the small room upstairs.
One minute we’re downstairs drinking in this woman’s voice.
I mean, the singer in the Connaught Room has a beautiful voice, but, the next minute, I’m taking Clara onto the balcony over the secret garden.
I know it’s amazing. I know it has this kind of special charm about it.
I’ve been going there since I was a kid, mainly to avoid my parents.
But tonight, I just want to be a bit closer to Clara, and the balcony is small!
‘Isn’t it incredible?’ I say with a proprietorial air, like I own the place.
She has both hands clamped over her mouth, and her eyes are wide with awe.
I have to admit, it’s prettier and more enchanting than I remember.
The courtyard below is lit up by golden lights hidden in the wall, which cast glittering ripples across the water.
It’s like some piece of magic. There’s the sound of the water, the trailing plants – jasmine and bougainvillea. The place is a knockout.
Then she leans forward over the balcony; stupidly, I do the same and my hand brushes hers.
The feeling that shoots through my body is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
I pull away, but then she’s pulling me back towards her.
She has to feel it too – this attraction, this force between us.
Soon she’s yanking me down by my tie and gripping my hair as I hoist her up onto my body.
I no longer care about our boss–employee relationship.
I’m not interested in business. Hell, I don’t even care about the missing songbird.
All I want is Clara, with her silk-covered waist, her beautiful curves, and her hot mouth against mine.
My hands roll across her body, loving every inch of it.
I’m kissing her lips, her chin, her neck, as if I’m a drowning man and this is my only possibility for life, for air.
Once we’re both satisfied and spent, I keep my arms locked around her, not wanting to give her up. Never wanting to let go of her, not for as long as I live.
‘You okay?’ I ask, brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear and nuzzling my chin against the top of her head.
Nuzzling it hard, wanting to do it all, every moment, all over again.
Suddenly, my heart stops. The breath in my lungs catch in my throat.
Voices. There are voices outside. Someone is coming towards the balcony.
The secret balcony. Someone is going to be breaking in any moment and finding us.
I can’t do that, not to Clara. I need to protect her.
Telling her to wait, I pat myself down and bluster out through the door, pushing it closed behind me. I have to keep Clara away from prying eyes.
‘Hey, Stella, Ezra…’ I call out brightly. ‘Bit of a bummer. It’s all closed off. Health and safety. Loose banister.’ I steer them back towards the main door, leaving Clara safely behind us.