Chapter 46
River
I’ve moved my pillows in my nest for the tenth time today, irritated with every arrangement. I have everyone’s shirts spread around me, my nest filled with the scent of chocolate and mint, pineapple and coconut, lime and orange.
The only thing missing is them.
Them. In my nest.
I can’t help the way my body shivers at the thought.
Today I have my doctor's appointment, and I’m nervous. What if I’m pregnant? We’ve all been getting to know each other, but that news could change everything. They could decide Kismet bond or not, I’m not worth it.
“Stop,” I blurt out loud, stunning myself when I hear my voice.
And I do need to stop. I’m second guessing everything.
Nash and Holden have been nothing but nice.
Even before they knew who I was, when I was just a beta that Holden had an assignment with.
A faceless person on the other end of a message thread.
Since then, well, it's been amazing. They’ve been tender and caring. Touching gently and cautiously. Never asking for more but treating me like the sun rises and falls with me. They introduced me to their friends. Denied anyone treating me less than what I am.
Then there’s Roman…
Fierce and strong, yet a teddy bear when you get to know him.
He puts on this tough exterior, but he’d give someone the shirt off his back if they needed it.
I didn’t know until Nash told me, but Roman volunteers at the soup kitchen at least three times a week.
We didn’t have that time like I did with Nash and Holden, but he’s made up for it.
He kissed me. My first real kiss. One that I actually wanted and wasn’t forced on me.
My lips still tremble at the thought. He made me feel something I never have before.
My heart raced when he did it, my body on fire and my knees felt weak.
The way he looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world.
When I talked, he actually listened, invested in what I had to say.
He opened the door for me to believe that things can be different.
I check the time and groan. We need to leave, and suddenly the dread rushes back in, consuming me. I rise, taking one final look around the room and smile. Finally, for the first time in my life, I’m truly happy. I’m content. And I’m safe.
Slipping on my shoes, I head downstairs. Torin and Tav are going with me today, and Roman and the guys are meeting us at the doctor’s office. I laugh every time I think about what the receptionist will think when I walk in with all of them.
“I’m here,” I shout as I open the door and step inside. It’s quiet, and I raise a brow wondering where everyone’s at.
“Tav. Torin,” I call as I slowly make my way to the kitchen, only to find it empty.
Did they leave? Forget about my appointment? It’s not like them.
Suddenly, strong arms slip around my waist, spinning me around. I let out a gasp until I see it’s Callux, and I slap him on the chest. “You scared me,” I gasp, breathing heavily.
“Sorry. I just wanted to get a hug before you left.” He tosses me a wink, and I can’t be mad at him.
“Where is everyone?”
He bites on his lip, letting go of me as he runs his fingers through his hair. He’s a sweaty mess.
“We’re just working on something. Torin and Tav just ran upstairs to change. They’ll be down in a second.”
“What are you working on?” I question, curious as to what it could be. They haven’t mentioned anything about a new assignment.
“Nothing to worry about. Just something me and the guys are working on,” he says sheepishly.
“Okay,” rolls off my tongue as we head into the living room.
***
“You can go ahead and get dressed. I’m going to check on the test results and be back to go over everything with you. Would you like the men outside to come back in?”
I nod. Nervous about what the results will tell me.
“Mrs. McCormick?”
“Yes, please,” I whisper, realizing he wants me to actually use words.
The doctor leaves, and the nurse turns to me and smiles. “I’ll go get them while you change.”
Once she’s gone, I quickly stand and put my clothes back on. When I’m dressed, I sit back on the bed and wait, kicking my feet back and forth.
There’s a firm knock on the door. “Come in,” I say loudly.
The door squeaks as it opens, and Nash, Holden, Roman, Tav and Torin step inside. Suddenly, the exam room doesn’t seem so big anymore.
“How are you doing?” Storm’s voice filters into the room as Tav turns to show me Storm’s smiling face on his phone. Should’ve known he’d find a way to be here.
“Good. Anxious. Nervous,” I rattle off, unsure how to say what exact feelings I’m having at the moment.
“It’s going to be okay,” Storm tells me as Nash, Holden and Roman move to my side.
“I know. I’m just scared… about being pregnant. About what to do.” I can feel the tears sliding down my cheeks, and Roman reaches out and wipes them away.
“If you are, then you have us. We’ll be by your side no matter what you choose. If a baby is in your future, then it’s ours too.” Roman takes my hand, giving it a squeeze. I look at Nash and then Holden, who are both nodding in agreement.
These men are breaking down every barrier I have, to the point I feel at home with them. I feel safe. When I’m with them, everything else falls to the side. I smile, feeling a little awkward having three men who aren’t my family nor have they bonded with me in the room waiting to hear the results.
There’s a knock before the door opens and the doctor steps back inside.
“Well, it seems like it’s standing room only here,” the doctor jokes.
I smile, but I can’t laugh. I’m too nervous.
“So let’s get straight to it. First, we will start with the thing you’re most concerned about. I’m happy to say that you are not pregnant.”
A gasp escapes me as my hand flies to my mouth, as I become overwhelmed with emotions. There’s no baby. I don't have to choose between an abortion or having a living reminder of what happened to me.
“That’s great news,” Storm says, catching the doctor off guard.
“Next, your blood work did show that you are having heat spikes. Since you were on suppressants for so long, it will take a while for the time between your heats to level out. I’d recommend staying off them if you can, as they are not for long-term use.”
I look over at Roman, chewing on my lower lip. I’m not sure if he told the others that I plan to have my heat with them, but now seems like a fitting time.
“I’m not going back on them. At least that’s the plan.
I’ve found my Kismet bonds, and they are going to help me with my next heat.
” I glance over at Tav, Torin and Storm’s image on the phone, not one of them seems surprised by my decision.
“I haven’t decided whether to bond yet, however, and I was hoping that I could have something to take to keep from becoming pregnant. ”
For some reason, I expect the doctor to judge me, but he doesn’t.
“We can give you a shot before you leave. If you want to continue taking it, you’d just need to come in every three months for a booster shot.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, as I feel everyone’s eyes on me.