49. Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Forty-Nine
Mariella
“ W ait here,” Mateo whispers against my kiss-swollen lips as he pulls his mouth from mine. Both our chests heave with the need to draw in much needed air.
I’m hot, flustered, and if anybody asked me what day it was, I couldn’t tell them.
Mateo runs his fingers through his hair, taming the mess I made during our heated make-out session in the backseat of the car. He steps out, and it’s only then that I realize we’ve come to a stop. Drawing in ragged breaths, I glance out the window.
How are we already back at Carloso?
It was only a few minutes ago that Mateo dragged me from the club. I had the distinct impression he’d have thrown me over his shoulder to speed up our departure if it wouldn’t have been so inappropriate.
The second we slid into the backseat, he raised the partition between us and the front of the car where his driver and guard sat. As soon as it was in place, he pounced on me like a panther on its prey, kissing me with a need I hadn’t known a man could possess.
My entire body hums like a chord on a guitar as I unbuckle my seat belt, my eyes following Mateo as he rounds the front of the car and stops at my door, opening it with a panty-melting smile. He’s such a gentleman.
He holds out his hand to me, and I stare at it, hesitating to take it. The fog his consuming kisses had engulfed me in lifts just enough for a sliver of rational thought to return.
If I walk into the house holding his hand, his soldiers will see us. They will assume something happened at the club. There won’t be any denying it… and then my father will know.
“ Dolcezza ,” Mateo invites again and when my gaze lifts from his outstretched hand to his face, the soft smile that seems to be reserved for only me is there again.
It short-circuits something important in my brain and without another thought, I place my palm in his. His fingers close over mine, ever so gently caressing my knuckles.
He helps me out of the car, and we climb the flat stairs to the immense front door hand in hand.
It stands open, ready to let us in, but no one is there and I let out an inaudible sigh of relief.
Maybe my father won’t find out about this thing with Mateo just yet, sparing me from having him twist Mateo’s interest in me to his advantage.
What am I saying? After going to the club with Mateo and ignoring his nine o’clock call, my father must have already drawn his conclusions.
Dread pools in my stomach.
What will his spies have told him?
Did they see us making out? Or worse, did they see the way Mateo touched me?
At least they won’t know for sure what went down in the backroom, namely me on my knees. Though, it wouldn’t be hard to conclude something happened, considering the way we rushed out of the club looking utterly disheveled.
Oh god! The way I behaved, so brazen, so wanton.
This man brings out a side of me I don’t recognize.
Heat rushes to my cheeks, as the memory of how I was grinding myself on Mateo’s lap replays in my mind.
And sucking him off? All I wanted at the time was to calm him. He was terrifying when he dealt with that guy in the club, but I was never afraid of him, not for a second. He’d never hurt me.
To my surprise, I actually enjoyed giving him pleasure. I just had to get over the shock of seeing how big his penis was.
Are they all like that?
I felt completely clueless about what to do or how to even begin. But judging by Mateo’s reactions and the way he lost control, I did well.
I smile to myself as he strides through the foyer, pulling me behind. But when he heads for the staircase a knot of dread rapidly tightens my stomach. The last of the lust-induced haze clouding my mind vanishes with my next thought.
Does he expect me to sleep with him?
That’s what naturally follows, isn’t it?
That knot of dread in my stomach? It twists tighter, so suffocating it feels like it might never come undone. A cold sweat prickles along my spine, the chill at odds with the fiery rush of my racing pulse.
I had an orgasm on his finger, he had one in my mouth.
Oh God!
It’s the natural progression of things.
My assumption seems confirmed when we reach the first landing.
Mateo doesn’t release my hand to bid me goodnight or let me head down the corridor to my room. Instead, he tightens his grip, tugging gently as he leads me up the first few steps toward the top floor.
The floor that houses his suite. His bedroom.
My hands begin to tremble, my legs freezing on the spot.
No!
I can’t.
As infatuated as I am with Mateo, as much as this crazy energy between us crackles whenever we’re together, I can’t be just another one of his conquests.
The mere idea that he sees me as just that sends a crushing weight through my chest.
I yank my hand from his, my fingers clutching the banister as if it’s the only thing keeping me upright.
“I can’t,” I gasp, wishing my voice sounded stronger.
He knows it’s expected of girls in our circles to remain untouched until their wedding night, especially when they’re nothing more than pieces on a chessboard, like me and my sisters.
If my father knew Isabella wasn’t a virgin anymore, all hell would break loose.
Mateo knows the expectation!
Hell, he’ll probably demand it of his own bride one day. And yet, he wants to drag me to his bedroom? He really does think I’m just like all the others.
My throat burns, and my eyes sting with the threat of tears. My disappointment is suffocating.
Something inside me breaks.
But I won’t let myself become another name on his long list of fleeting affairs.
“I’m not a whore,” I push out through the lump in my throat.
But I behaved like one.
This is on me.
He’s just being who he always is.
He steps back, as though my words physically struck him, his eyes clouding with a mix of surprise and horror.
Yeah right. As if he’d waste a second worrying about what I think.
Mortified, and with a barrage of tears I can’t hold back any longer, I turn to run to my room.
My feet barely touch the bottom step when a strong arm snakes around my waist, lifting me off the ground as if I’m light as a feather.
“Let go of me,” I sob, struggling against his hold.
I lash out, kicking at him, desperate to inflict even a sliver of the pain that’s tearing me apart inside.
How could I have been so foolish to believe a man like Mateo could ever want more between us?
I’m so goddamn na?ve!
He pulls me against his hard body, his lips right next to my ear.
“Mari, please. Stop struggling so I can put you down safely. If you keep going this way, we’ll both fall down the stairs.”
My mouth opens and shuts as I try to form words.
He might have a point. I stop kicking, and he sets me down on the landing, releasing his hold on me.
Spinning around, I lift my hand and slap him across the face.
“I’m not one of your whores,” I repeat through the tears and the anger that’s filling my body.
Perhaps later it will sink in that I hit the second most powerful man in la famiglia, and remorse will replace the anger.
Right now, though? I don’t care.
Mateo’s hand goes to his face, covering his cheek. He’s as surprised by my move as I am.
For a second, I’m frozen in place.
Mortification is really setting in now, and I turn to get the hell out of here.
But no such luck, of course.
Mateo’s large hands grab my waist and spin me to face him once more.
“I wasn’t going to have sex with you,” he declares.
What?
“You weren’t?” I ask, the disbelief in my voice unmistakable. “But you were going to take me to your bedroom. Don’t deny it.”
“Yes, I was going to take you to my bedroom. To sleep.”
“To sleep?” I repeat, not able to hide the sarcasm in my voice. “After everything we’ve done tonight, you were going to take me to your bedroom to sleep?”
“Yes,” he insists. “And perhaps cuddle a little. Mari, I know what’s expected of you!” His eyes are laser focused on mine as if willing me to believe him. “And while it’s outdated and hypocritical, I’m thrilled that no other man has ever touched you.”
My head is spinning. He knows I need to keep my virginity, and he’s thrilled?
I don’t follow.
What the hell is going on?