Eighteen #3
Elle pulls Thor onto her lap and flips her hair behind her, threading her fingers through the wild curls that Thor just knotted.
I hold my hand out to Thor and he sniffs the ice cube suspiciously, before grabbing it and carrying it over to his favorite spot on the corner of the area rug.
He tosses it in the air a few times, jumping into playing position each time it lands on the floor.
Elle and I watch him, laughing hysterically when he dives into the carpet and ends up with his legs in the air.
Eventually he settles down and starts chomping on the ice cube.
That’s when Elle turns her attention back to me.
“You know I gave you that key for emergencies,” I say, eyeing her.
“We’ve been at the park all day and then it started pouring so we ran back. I knew I was out of treats this morning, but it totally slipped my mind to stop at the store.”
I raise a brow at her.
“That qualifies as an emergency in my book,” she admits, raising her hands at me.
I roll my eyes at her seriousness. She studies me for a moment.
“So what brought this on?” she asks, gesturing to me and folding her legs underneath her.
She holds onto her ankles and sits up straight, like she is doing a yoga pose.
I should feel embarrassed about what just happened.
I should apologize for Elle finding me like this, although she did come into my apartment unannounced, using the key I gave her for emergencies.
I should try to recover this situation somehow, but I don’t really know what I can do.
She just witnessed me at my absolute worst, for the second time.
That’s more than any person I’ve ever dated has seen me break down. And Elle isn’t running for the hills.
Of course she isn’t, banana head, you’re not dating.
I rub my hand on my forehead, trying to get my story straight in my head.
“Family dinner, always a triggering time,” I say.
As if there aren’t enough reasons that I feel like my life is in a spiral, seeing my parents and being reminded of the toxic relationship with my father just adds another layer to the dysfunction.
I come with too much baggage. Elle should run for the hills.
“I get that,” she says, nodding. “Want to talk about it?”
“Never. I guess that’s half of my problem,” I reply, hanging my head.
Elle purses her lips at me, but I know she won’t push me.
I wrap my hand around my neck, wondering what must be going on in Elle’s mind.
She really got a handful when she decided to camp outside my door that night.
“Where did the ice cube thing come from?”
She doesn’t answer right away, turning her attention to Thor for a moment before speaking. “I don’t know. In my research for yoga or my brother or something,” she says with a shrug.
“Your brother?”
“I told you he has a disability,” she says, and I nod. “He has Down’s syndrome. Sometimes he’ll get upset and hard to console, so I’ve picked up some tricks along the way.”
A beat passes between us, and I think we’re both not sure what to say next. I hate how much focus is on me, so I ask about Elle’s brother. I think it’s one of her favorite topics to talk about.
“Do you miss him?” I ask.
Elle smiles to herself, still looking down at Thor.
“Of course. But he likes to FaceTime me. The other day, he called to tell me he got a promotion at the grocery store where he works. He was so excited about getting to stock the shelves instead of just bagging.” She looks up at me, and I can see the cheerfulness in her eyes as she talks about him.
“And then last night, there was a category about vegetables on Jeopardy! and he got all the questions right. He had to call me about that too,” she adds with a chuckle.
Elle so rarely talks about herself. Usually on our expeditions she’ll ask me about work and my family. She doesn’t offer up too much information about herself, so when I get it, I feel like I have to soak up every morsel and hide it somewhere safe, so I won’t forget it.
I lean my arms on my knees and don’t shy away from admiring her.
She takes a few moments to play with Thor, poking his nose and tickling him, prompting him to roll in his back.
When she finally looks back at me, I can see a blush in her cheeks, and I wonder if she is thinking about the moment we just shared.
She reaches her hand out to me and squeezes my forearm, her hands a little less scorching than before. She gives me a half-smile. “All of us have a little crazy, Oliver. I guess we just have to embrace it.”
She watches me for a moment, and I manage to give her a sheepish smile. I don’t want her to let go of my arm, but her phone buzzes. Her face is confused when she sees the contact on the screen. “Why is the landlord texting me?” she mumbles quietly, more to herself than to me.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, he just wants to check something in my apartment. I’ll be right back.” She presses a quick kiss on Thor’s head and is out the door in a flash.
I finally stand from the treadmill and get a towel to dry Thor, but only a few minutes pass before I hear a sound that sends ice through my bones.
Elle screaming.