Twenty-Two
Oliver
“So do we need to talk about it?” Henry asks as he spots me on the bench press.
“What?” I grunt.
“You know what,” he says in an obvious tone. That’s the thing about Henry. He’s so sure of himself. He sees the world around him for what it is, and he is so damn perceptive it’s annoying sometimes.
“For once, could you not be so mature and communi-cative?” I say, placing the bar on the rungs and sitting up. I wipe the sweat off of my forehead and hang my head, waiting for the lecture I know is coming.
“What I don’t understand is why you set her up with me when you clearly like her,” he says, coming around the cage and leaning against it. He crosses his arms in front of him and glares at me.
“I never said—”
“You didn’t have to say it, asshole,” he snaps back.
The few patrons that are still moseying around the gym give us an awkward glance.
I glare at him. “Sorry, but you are being a dick. You like this girl. She’s awesome and is clearly into you.
Why is this such a Greek tragedy? Just do something about it. ”
“A Greek tragedy?” I ask, tilting my head.
“Yeah, that didn’t make sense. But you get what I mean. What is all the melodrama about?”
“Melodrama? Have you been watching the Hallmark channel or something?”
“I may have gotten sucked into a cheesy, romantic movie when I was at my sister’s house last weekend, but that is beside the point. What is your problem?”
“She wants things that I can’t give her,” I admit, rubbing my temples.
“I swear that was a line in the movie,” Henry says. I scowl at him. “That’s ridiculous. What can’t you give her?”
“She’s literally a romance editor, she believes in happily ever afters and—”
“And you’re the most relationship-centered guy I’ve ever met. I’m sure if I told all the girls who come into the gym that my friend is a single doctor who works out, there would be a stampede.”
“Well, thank you for the boost to my ego, but I can’t get myself into that again.”
“Into what?”
“A relationship,” I say, standing up. I’m so embarrassed by this conversation that my voice has turned into a whisper.
“I’m too fucked up. Yeah, girls might like me to start with, but once they get to know me and the crazy shows, I fuck it up.
They run. I don’t want to do that anymore.
” I let out a loud breath, avoiding my own gaze in the mirror.
“And it’s not just that. I’m not a doctor yet.
And I don’t know if I ever will be.” I haven’t admitted that out loud to anyone, and I can’t believe it just slipped out.
“What do you mean?”
I lean against the wall, pulling my shirt around my waist. Thor picks his head up from his spot behind the front desk when he sees me move.
“I mean I’m miserable. Internal medicine was never my first choice.
Neither was the ER.” I slide down the wall until I’m sitting on the floor, and Thor bounds over to sit next to me.
I scratch behind his ears when he plops down.
“And I didn’t even earn the spot I have. Nothing about it feels right.”
“And what does that have to do with Elle?”
“She wants a future with someone. How can I give that to her when I don’t know what mine will look like?
I’m thinking about quitting a residency that thousands of medical students would kill for and completely upending my career.
” I wave my hands too enthusiastically on the last part, so I let them drop to my sides and I rest my head on the wall behind me.
Thor twists his head to look up at me, confused about why I stopped petting him.
Henry blows out a breath, considering everything I just said.
“That’s a fuck ton of pressure you’re putting on yourself man.
You’re thirty. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to have everything about your life figured out.
” I squint an eye open at him. “And if I know Elle like I think I do, she would want you to do something that makes you happy. If it takes you some time to figure that out, I think she’d be pretty supportive of that. ”
“That sounds like too much pressure, right there,” I say, pointing at him.
“So you’re going to be alone all your life?” he says, looking at me like I’m an idiot. Which, honestly, I can’t blame him for. “How does that make sense, Oliver?”
“If I admit that it doesn’t, then can we please stop having this conversation?”
“No! I have a whole speech prepared from the movie.” He clears his throat. “You see, Oliver, when life gives you opportunities—”
“Oh, would you shut up?” I stand up and wrap an arm around Henry’s neck, grunting as I pretend to strangle him. He chuckles and ducks out of my grasp, cracking up at his own joke as he walks towards the back of the gym. I shake my head.
He makes it all sound so simple. I wish it was.
*
“DJ Night? Seriously?” I ask Henry as I follow him into a restaurant at the end of my block.
“Yeah, we can ignore that. It’s a nice bar with good food, and I’m starving,” he says with a grunt.
We’ve just closed his gym for the night, and after a few miles on the treadmill, I’m pretty hungry as well, so I’m in no position to argue.
Thankfully I was able to shower in his locker room while he closed up, otherwise it would not be acceptable for me to be out in public.
We dropped Thor at my apartment quickly and set him up with his dinner and a chewing bone, and headed back out before Henry crashed through the wall like the Kool-Aid man looking for something to eat.
We take a seat at the bar and order some beers and appetizers.
I check the camera on my phone and see Thor chomping away at the bone I left him with.
I’ll only be gone an hour or so, so hopefully he won’t tear up the carpet before I get back.
My thoughts drift to Elle. I know she had a dress fitting or something with Lucy today.
Just as I get my phone out to message her and see how it went, I stop myself.
My conversation with Henry has given me a knot in my gut that I can’t shake.
Henry shoves me when I yawn. “Twelve-hour shifts are not for the weak, huh?”
“Yup,” I grumble.
“Is there anything about it that you like?” he asks, and I wish he hadn’t.
My stomach drops at the thought of having to answer that question.
Because the answer, truthfully, is no. I’m not dreading every second of it, but I’m dreading the thought of having to go through years of this.
It’s only been two months and I already feel like I’ve lost my sense of self.
I don’t care enough about my work. But maybe that’s the way everyone feels, and I just have to get over it?
I don’t say any of that to Henry though.
“Is that—”
I stop hearing the words coming out of his mouth when I turn around to follow his gaze.
Everything becomes slow motion when Elle walks through the door, followed by her friend Lucy and a man.
Her hair is curled into voluptuous waves, bouncing as she moves.
She flips her hair over her shoulder as she takes off her coat, placing it on the rack by the door.
She’s dressed in black jeans that look like they are painted onto her legs and a literal triangular piece of fabric for a shirt.
It’s red and sparkly, and is only held on to her by a thin strap around her neck and one around her back.
I’ve never seen Elle like this. My body—and my mind for that matter—doesn’t know what to do with it.
Inhale. Exhale.
Very important to keep breathing.
Get yourself together, Oliver.
Suddenly, I realize that Henry is no longer sitting next to me. I whip my head right and left before I see him heading over to Elle and waving like a dork.
“Elle! So good to see you!” I overhear.
He’s a dead man.
When I slide off of the barstool, Elle is giving Henry a hug. I have to stifle a gasp when we make eye contact. She looks stunning.
When they approach me, I realize I haven’t actually moved an inch. Henry comes beside the bar and steps on my foot, trying to shake me from my trance.
“Ol, look who’s here!” he says, slapping me on the back. His voice is annoyingly patronizing. I throw an arm around him and give him an equally harsh slap on his shoulder, pushing him forward with the force of it.
“I have eyes, asshole,” I mutter under my breath.
Elle and Lucy lean against the bar and a tall blonde man stands behind them. “Oliver, you remember Lucy. And this is her fiancé, Liam,” Elle says, nodding to the man behind her. He lifts his hand in a small wave.
“Nice to meet you,” I say in a monotone voice. Henry steps on my foot again. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Well, we understand this is the type of establishment that serves food and drinks, is that correct?” Lucy says sarcastically.
“Right, of course,” I murmur. Elle gives me a weird look.
“Should we sit at the bar instead, Elle?” Lucy asks. Just as she does, a couple slides into the seats beside Henry and me.
“Well, I guess we’ll be over there then,” Elle says awkwardly, and the group heads off towards a free table on the other side of the bar.
When she’s out of eyesight, I lean against the bar and drop my head, trying to regain my composure.
I hate being caught off guard. I’m already on edge because I’ve never been to this restaurant, so I didn’t know what to expect when I walked in.
I like to know what I’m walking into, from the menu to the layout of the place.
Henry knows this, but two guys should be able to walk into a bar and get a bite to eat without one of them freaking out.
And then there’s Elle. The one thing in my life that has caught me so off guard that I’m still trying to recover, months later. Add to that the fact that she looks amazing tonight. I might actually lose my shit if she gets up to dance in that outfit.
So of course, that’s exactly what happens.