Chapter 16
Sixteen
Scarlett
18 Years Old
“Okay, somehow, I don’t think staring at the bed in prolonged silence is going to further our agenda to be naked and thriving,” Scarlett said, and then immediately cringed when an amused smile emerged on Colin’s lips.
“Naked and thriving? Is that our new catchphrase?”
“Please, God, no,” she huffed. “But I can’t deal with long, drawn-out silences. I get nervous, and then I have to fill the empty space, and I don’t know if you know this, but I ramble when I’m nervous, and then I start think about how I wasn’t prepared for more sex things to happen this immediately, and I’m not wearing a matching bra and underwear today like I magically was yesterday when we first…”
“Say the word, Red,” Colin said sternly. The tone he took with her was surprisingly hot.
“When we first banged.”
“ That is not the word. We didn’t have a shootout like an old Western movie,” Colin huffed.
“Well, I think maybe if I got you there, you would have shot out something, ” Scarlett mused and peeked over at him. Colin’s face cracked a bit, a smile begging to get out as he shook his head.
“We really need to stop with the cum jokes and focus. Say the damn word, Scarlett,” he scolded, and again she felt the heat from him telling her what to do burn through her core.
“Sex,” she finally gave in.
“Great, so, I went over your critiques. We seem to agree on the majority of what went wrong last time. I don’t think you can tell me that I need to,” he cleared his throat and read right off her scoring chart, “get a smaller dick.”
“There has to be a reverse Viagra pill somewhere. Their ads would probably be something like, ‘do you suffer from whale syndrome and frequently injure your partners with your giant schlong? Then have we got the pill for you!’” Scarlett expected Colin to laugh at her joke, but instead his face just paled.
“Did I actually injure you?” Colin’s concern was so palatable it sobered her teasing manner immediately. “I asked you if you needed to see a doctor, and you said you didn’t. Maybe I should have taken you anyway.”
She shook her head vigorously to dispel his worries. “I promise I’m fine. I was just making a joke. Nothing hurts, see?” She lunged forward and turned to rock from side to side in the most egregious display of her undamaged vagina. There was only a split second to panic about the stupid yoga moves she was performing before Colin took her idiocy in stride and steered the conversation back to their common goal.
“Okay, good. Did you agree with all the rules?”
“Yes.” Scarlett unfolded her chart, looking over the handwritten list at the bottom.
Rules:
1. All parties must consent to every activity planned before and during.
2. A condom and the birth control pill will be used simultaneously when engaging in intercourse to prevent reproduction.
3. The experiment will come with no attachments or expectations for a further romantic relationship after the experiment has concluded or been terminated.
4. All sexual activity is monogamous between the two parties unless otherwise discussed during the course of the experiment.
5. If at any time the participants no longer want to continue the experiment, the experiment is terminated.
6. The experiment’s scheduled end is August 18th, pending Colin’s move to Johns Hopkins University.
7. Each party will fill out the above chart for the respective party to the best of their abilities, and the participants will converse to write down ways to fix any issues or variables that arise.
And finally, the last one, written in earlier after they spoke by the lockers:
8. The experiment will be kept a secret between both parties, with the exception of Kashvi Mehta.
“Perfect. For this trial, I think we should do a sort of control group,” Colin stated.
“Control group. So, like, we do the experiment without any variables?” Scarlett scrunched her eyebrows together, trying to work it out in her head.
“Right, so, I would be the variable in this scenario, and instead of touching you, I’d watch you bring yourself to orgasm.” The words came out of Colin’s mouth so directly that if she had been drinking water at the time, she would have done a spit take.
“Y-you want me to get myself off?” she squeaked.
“Yes. In front of me, so I can observe what you’re doing. And then we’d do the reverse, where you watch what I do.”
“Okay, but I-I—” Scarlett’s cheeks flamed with embarrassment.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, Red.” Colin’s voice was a balm to her anxiety, and the soothing way he leaned into her, bringing his hands up to press against her arms, quieted the fog of chaos in her head.
“I haven’t masturbated very much,” she admitted. “I’ve orgasmed, but it’s usually by accident. I’ve masturbated one time to orgasm with my hand, and it took forever. Maybe I just don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Okay, well, that’s why we’re doing this, isn’t it?” he asked. “We have around two hours to kill, and if we use up all that time to figure out what you like, I’m okay with that.”
“I’m nervous about how it looks down there and how it smells and how to conduct myself with you watching me. I don’t know how to start.”
Colin let his hands fall away from her. “Do you need a good reason to start?” She nodded. “Will kissing you help? Because I’ve been dying to kiss you all day.” She nodded again, and like a moth to a flame, Colin’s lips crashed against hers, his hand moving to take the chart from her hand as he backed her toward her bed. He groaned against her mouth, pressing into her spine to force her closer a moment longer before he pulled away, leaving her head fuzzy. “Sit down, Scarlett.” She immediately did, and he came back for seconds, nipping at her bottom lip and then dragging his tongue over it as he stood between her legs. “Now I want you to take your pants off for me first. Go as slow as you want to go. I’ll keep your brain distracted.” His mouth trailed hungrily down her throat, and she gasped as she frantically tried to unbutton her pants and wiggle them down her ass while maintaining contact with Colin, who was pressing his lips into her collarbone.
“Fuck,” she breathed, hurriedly stepping out of her pantlegs.
“Good job, Red,” Colin murmured. “Get on the bed and take your underwear off.”
“Okay.” Scarlett obediently bobbed her head and backed herself onto her blue comforter, then lifted her hips off the bed to slide her underwear to the floor. Colin, still standing between her legs, took a long, shuddering breath before he spoke again.
“Now use your hand.” From the looks of it, the hard erection Colin was sporting in his pants said that he needed to be taken care of, too. Maybe he liked to watch. The original idea was just to figure out what she liked, but he seemed to be enjoying this as much as she was, and she hadn’t even done anything yet. That knowledge made her feel invincible. “I can’t be a variable for you anymore. I need you to spread your legs and touch yourself. Show me what to do. I want to know exactly where your clit is and how many fingers you use to fuck yourself.”
A small amount of courage—or maybe just pure lust—coursed through Scarlett as she pointed to a small chair in the corner. “Sit down and watch, Colin.” She had never seen him move so fast before, parking the chair right where he would have a front-row seat.
“Tell me what you’re doing while you’re doing it.” His voice was all gravel as he dropped into his spectator seat.
Her hand moved almost of its own accord down her stomach, blocking his direct view when she slowly parted her legs, pressing the pads of her feet into her mattress. “I’m starting to move the tips of my fingers around to find what I need.”
“How are you moving them?” Colin asked.
“I’m swirling them and—” She gasped, arching a little into her hand and spreading her wetness up her slit to where the pulsing ache was. “I found my clit, and I’m pressing into it.”
“Do you want even more pressure? Or does it have to be just the right amount?”
“I-I…” Her eyes fluttered shut as she tested his theory, pressing harder. “Shit, it feels good when I press harder. Not faster, but harder.”
“Got it. Slow, but firm.” Colin adjusted in his seat, and she watched with heavy-lidded eyes as he pulled at the fabric near his crotch where his cock was tenting his pants. She found a rhythm between her legs but kept her eyes on Colin, stroking herself from side to side. He wasn’t talking anymore, just watching her and raking his eyes over her body as she squirmed under her fingers. The excitement was still there, but she liked it better when he was asking questions and suggesting things.
“Keep talking to me,” she urged.
“Doesn’t that make me more of a variable?” Colin asked, his voice dark and heady, like he was on his last thread of patience and close to snapping and giving in to anything she wanted.
“Fuck the control group, Colin.” Scarlett bucked her hips off the edge of the bed and whimpered as the thrumming ache heightened, her eyes falling shut.
“Fine.” It was almost aggressive in tone, so unlike the calm version of Colin she knew that her eyes fluttered open just in time to watch him shove her legs apart. “But you need to listen to me this time. I said spread your legs. You’re not letting me see, Red. I need to see, or I won’t know what to do to make you come later.”
“O-okay.” She jerked her head up and down and let her legs fall open even more, brazenly baring herself to him, her body even going so far as to tip her hips in his direction.
“That’s good.” The sound of him unbuckling his belt had her mouth watering. “Now, try using your thumb instead, and then push two fingers inside you. I brought lube if you need it.”
The slick feeling of Scarlett’s fingers suggested that she didn’t need lubrication, but she tested her hypothesis carefully, letting her thumb take over on her clit as she gently pushed two fingers inside her heat. There was only a little pushback before she slid completely in and coated her fingers with her wetness, allowing her to pump more freely. “I don’t need it.”
“Good.” His voice cracked as he unbuttoned his pants. “I do, though. I need to do something about this before I ruin my underwear.” She eagerly watched him snatch a small bottle of lube from the backpack he had set carefully on the floor earlier, and he pulled his cock from his pants and coated himself in a small dollop, working it over his shaft. His breathing was so erratic, and she was enraptured by the way his chest was rising and falling, sometimes in sync and then out of time with the stroking of his hand. “Don’t stop, Scarlett. Tell me what you’re doing.”
She picked up her pace again, realizing she had stilled to watch him. “It feels better when I curl my fingers. Tell me what you’re doing.”
Colin groaned, sliding his hand over himself faster. “I’m mostly using three fingers, and I’m pulling a little when I go up, pushing when I go down and—Jesus, this is happening way faster than I—” His head whipped backward, his mouth falling open as pearlescent white pooled at the slit of his cock. Distracted by him enough to stop the motion of her own hand, she paused to sit up on her forearms to watch his hand jerked up again, slower this time as his whole body went taut as another stream of cum rolled over his hand. When he released his cock, his chest still heaving with exertion, he looked down with a grimace at his covered hand. “Dammit.”
“What?” Scarlett sat up all the way in alarm. “That didn’t feel good?”
Colin shook his head. “It felt amazing, but you stopped, Scarlett. Now I have to wash my hands because I can’t deal with being all sticky. I have to leave the room, and when I did that last time, it killed the momentum. I ruined the experiment because I got too turned on too quickly.” He scrunched his eyes shut. “I’m so fucking bad at this.”
“Colin, It’s fine,” she assured him. “Really.”
“Piper said when a woman says she’s fine, she’s not actually fine.” He recited this knowledge like it was a fact, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“This time I actually am, though. I promise. I just got distracted watching you.” Her legs were firmly closed now, and she was sure if she felt around down there, she would be wet from the memory of her arousal rather than anything new.
“Can you try again now?” Colin asked hopefully. His hand was held at a stiff, awkward angle away from his body, like he was desperately trying not to be bothered by the fact that it was still soaked in his own release. Scarlett kept her legs mostly closed as her fingers traveled back down to the apex of her thighs. It didn’t feel good anymore. Before, her clit was swollen and aching to be touched. Now, it felt like it was hibernating somewhere and was pissed off that she was even trying to wake it up.
“Um, I don’t think so.” She tried forcefully swiping her clit, and it felt more sensitively painful than erotic. A long-suffering sigh left her lips as she watched Colin’s discomfort grow tenfold, his shoulders hiking up around his shoulders. “Just go clean yourself off. It’s okay.”
“Are you sure? I’ll be quick, I promise.” He didn’t wait for her response before he was bolting from the room, using his clean hand to twist the knob and escape into the hallway. When the door shut behind him, her mind started replaying everything on a loop, analyzing it the way she figured Colin would as soon as he was back. A pros and cons list started in her head as she slipped her underwear back on. It was a bit easier to think without an anxiety-ridden guy standing at the foot of her bed with a fistful of cum, expecting her to continue on as if she couldn’t tell he was wildly uncomfortable.
Pro: she liked the feeling of her fingers against her clit.
Con: she couldn’t figure out the timing of both her fingers and her thumb simultaneously. Her rhythm was easily thrown off by one or the other.
Pro: Colin’s directions and the blunt and bossy way he delivered those directions was a massive turn-on.
Con: her fingers inside of her didn’t feel like much. Bent fingers helped, but not enough to get off from.
Pro: she was definitely wet this time, so the passage Colin had made her read in his scientific sex book about the brain’s ability to register that something sexual was happening definitely proved true this time. She wasn’t distracted for the first part, and therefore, she was wet.
Con: she couldn’t really do two things at once, so watching Colin get off, despite her loving it, killed her own momentum.
Pro: she really liked watching Colin get off.
Con: Colin really did not like the messy aftermath. Despite all their cum jokes, she had to agree with him that the actual substance was not as appealing.
A myriad of possible fixes for all the cons ran through Scarlett’s head. She couldn’t quite come up with a fix for her tendency to get distracted, because, after all, if she could fix that, she probably wouldn’t have needed Colin as a lab partner to begin with. Colin’s problem, however, seemed like more of a simple fix, with several possible solutions.
“I think I should swallow,” she declared when Colin reentered the room.
Colin blinked several times, adjusted his glasses, met her eyes for maybe a millisecond before shifting his gaze down to the floor. “What?”
“You don’t like the sticky aftermath when you get yourself off.”
“Yes, the ac-cum-ulation of issues we’re running into seems to be growing.” The joke was again delivered with a nonchalance that made her think the word play was an accident, but Colin never pronounced words incorrectly.
A slow grin unfurled across her lips. “A cum joke about your distaste for cum? And using the word ‘growing’ in the same sentence? So many layers. Well done.”
Colin smirked. “I thought of it in the bathroom while I was literally washing the cum off my hand. It was too good to pass up.”
“Well, I think I can fix one of our cum-plications.” Her eyes sparkled as she watched his reaction, which was understated but amused nonetheless.
“This is getting out of hand.” He cracked a smile.
“I think it was actually on your hand. That was the problem.”
“Red.” His tone held a warning to finally get down to business, and she obeyed.
“Blow jobs,” she said, pleased that she sounded so sure of herself. “If I swallow, then you don’t have to deal with it.”
Colin’s throat bobbed. “I love your ideas.”
“I figured you would like this particular fix.” Scarlett gave him a cheeky smile.
“We’ll have to try that later. For now, I need to touch you.” A hand gripped hers, and she was yanked into the firm wall of Colin’s chest, his arms wrapping around her on a sigh. “This is better.” She closed her eyes, burying her face into his shirt and breathing deeply. Colin smelled like something calming. He wasn’t overly fragrant, which she loved because she had smelled enough Axe body spray for a lifetime. “Can we talk like this?”
“Mm-hmm.” Her dreamy response was muffled, but Colin heard it and tightened his hold on her. She didn’t complain, sinking even deeper into the touch. Out of everything they had done, this was what quieted her mind the most. The safety of it took away all her insecurities.
“I liked my idea originally, and clearly I was turned on by it, but it was almost painful not to touch you. I didn’t like that part,” he said. “Why’d you stop?”
She pulled her head off his chest a bit so he could hear. “I couldn’t focus on all the different moving parts. I couldn’t time my thumb and my fingers, and then I wanted to watch you and couldn’t multitask.”
“Okay…” Colin drew out the word like he was thinking. “So then I’d conclude that we need to do foreplay one at a time, and we can probably cross sixty-nineing off the list.”
“Agreed. That sounds like my own personal hell.”
“I also like seeing you, and if you were to be flipped like that, I’d only be able to see your legs. You have nice legs, but you have nice everything else, too.” Colin’s hands dragged up and down Scarlett’s sides, and she smiled to herself. She wasn’t sure she would ever get used to how forward he was about her body, but she didn’t mind being blindsided by the compliments. Who would?
“You also have a nice body,” Scarlett said. “I also don’t know if you noticed, but I really like it when you tell me what to do. You got a little grumpy with me, and?—”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to get short with you. I was just irritated that I couldn’t touch you.”
“No, I’m saying I liked it,” she explained. Her head was laying against his chest so he couldn’t see what she was sure was the bright red coloring of her cheeks.
“You like it when I’m mean to you?” Colin’s voice held a hard edge of confusion. “Why?”
That was a good question, and it took her a second to ponder a response. “I don’t think ‘mean’ is the right word. I like when you’re demanding, if that makes sense. When you take charge, it means I don’t have to, and that clears up some of my brain fog. I’m constantly wondering if I’m doing things wrong, and when you tell me to do things a bit aggressively, I know I can just do that thing and be doing something right.”
“That makes sense. I like control, so I’d rather you just do exactly what I say anyway. We’re well-matched.” Well-matched . The word ran through her head several times on a loop, giving it too much emphasis, then barely any emphasis at all. He couldn’t mean anything as drastic as breaking rule number three. No attachments . That was what they had agreed on. They could be well-matched but then go their separate ways. He was leaving in a few months, anyway, so that would make it easy to cut ties.
“We are.” Scarlett finally decided on a response.
“I think with whatever we’re doing, if we could just… keep some form of hard contact, that would help a bit. When there’s space between us, I almost feel… itchy.” The last word he’d landed on didn’t seem to do his thoughts justice, so he continued. “I don’t know how to explain what I mean. It’s kinda like this thing my brother used to do when he was little and annoying where my parents would tell him to stop touching or bothering me, and just to be defiant he’d hold his pointer finger out from my arm or something just enough to say that he wasn’t actually touching me. It always made me want to lose my shit.”
“Ah, siblings. Can’t live with them, can’t live…” She trailed off, a wave of grief slamming into her chest at the thought of Tucker.
“Without them,” Colin whispered. “I’m sorry I’m complaining about my brother.”
“No, no. I, um, I get it.” Scarlett choked back her emotion. “I’m pretty sure I used to do that stupid not-poking thing to Tucker and Harper. It’s a classic sibling move. Occasionally something just hits me, and I get super emotional. I’m sorry.”
“When my parents died, I threw a massive tantrum like a toddler.” His voice was almost so quiet it was nonexistent.
“You did?”
“Yeah,” Colin murmured. “I told the police officer, who is now my uncle’s best friend, that he was a liar, and then I told Walker that he wasn’t allowed to take my parents’ room because I was so certain they were coming back. I just kept rambling on about how they weren’t dead until I guess I… I don’t remember much after that, but Carter says I ended up in a ball on the floor, shaking and screaming nonsense, and Piper had to kind of hug me until I came out of it, so whatever you think is super emotional, I doubt it’s as bad as the things I’ve done. I was supposed to be a role model for Pearl and Cooper. That’s what I should have done. I mean, Cooper’s only eight years old, and his reaction was more sane than mine. I don’t know, I just couldn’t control myself. It was like all the cells in my body were ripping down the center, and my entire routine and life were suddenly on fire and burning me from the inside out.”
“I refused food for several days when Tucker died. My mom and sister were obviously depressed, too, so eventually we ended up eating ice cream and Hot Pockets for every meal for like a month. I’ll never fucking touch a Hot Pocket again. Just the sight of those makes me want to throw up now.”
“What about your dad?” Colin asked.
“My dad went to work. He pretty much never came home, and then he slowly left. His presence just became less and less until he was packing up his stuff and moving out of the house.” Scarlett shrugged, trying to act indifferent.
“He left you?” The bafflement in Colin’s voice made her heart clench. It was like he genuinely couldn’t fathom a world where someone would leave her.
“He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle us . I don’t know. I guess he decided he got dealt a bad hand, and now he’s remarried to his receptionist with a second kid on the way. I’ll have two half-siblings I barely see because he barely talks to me.” That was the worst part to her. She was so easily replaceable. Even her own father decided he didn’t get it right with her and set out to make a better family that didn’t include her.
“Well, now I feel better about my reaction, because at least I’m not an idiot.” The sentiment delivered was so straightforward that she burst into laughter.
“I don’t think you could ever be an idiot. You’re too smart. Promise me when you become some big, fancy scientist that you’ll remember the girl from your sex-periment?” Scarlett’s voice was too hopeful, too pleading, and she hated how pathetic she sounded.
“I’d never forget you, Red. But I think we need to make a few more memories that I won’t forget.”
“Oh yeah?” She gave her voice a flirtatious edge, the pads of her fingertips digging a little harder into the backs of his arms, an overt show of desperation.
“Yeah.” Colin was staring at her mouth as his tongue ran over his bottom lip. “We have some time left before your family is home, and I need to make good on a promise to myself that you’d come today.” Every nerve in her body seemed to come alive with his attention. A shiver ran down her spine at the feeling of his hot breath against the shell of her ear. “Can I make you come, Scarlett?”
“Yes,” she breathed. There was suddenly nothing she wanted more than to lie on her back and spread her legs for him. Except for maybe his mouth, which landed on hers without any wasted time after her enthusiastic response.
“Get on the bed,” Colin demanded. She practically threw herself backward as he climbed after her up to the headboard, sliding his hand under her shirt and over one sensitive breast. “All of your clothes need to come off this time, Scarlett. No hiding from me. I want to see everything.”
It all happened faster than before. This time Colin flicked at her bra with ease, the cups falling away from her body as his mouth left hot, open-mouthed kisses down to her nipples before latching on and swiping his tongue over a peaked bud. The moan that left her mouth sounded distant in her ears, foreign to her body when all she could feel was Colin. He left all of his own clothing on, but she had no time to fret over it because his hands were everywhere all at once and yet not touching her enough. Her body thrummed with anticipation, and the impatient pulsing between her legs was begging to be experimented on.
“Colin,” Scarlett cried out. “I need more.”
Another swirl of his tongue on her nipple made her want to scream in agony over the torture. “I want to taste between your legs like this.” He dragged his tongue across the other pebbled nipple, giving each of her breasts equal attention. Her brain short-circuited as he started traveling downward, and she had just enough mental forethought to panic about what he’d just said.
“What if it tastes really bad?” she asked nervously as he almost reached his destination.
“Then we get your pH checked.” Colin did not seem to give a single fuck about her pH as he dragged his fingers across her clit, making her hips jerk into them. “No lube necessary this time. And I think my tongue will help.”
“Oh God.” It was said as both a precursor to what she assumed would be a mortifying experience once he did start eating her out, and a whine of pleasure at how good his fingers felt rubbing in slow circles. He was using everything he had learned from her small venture into voyeurism, and she shouldn’t have been shocked. They had already established that Colin was a quick study. Each swirl of his fingers was backed by more pressure than she could have made on her own. Enough to distract her as his tongue replaced them with a quick drag and then a more deliberate flick. “Holy shit.” Her back arched off the bed, shamelessly riding against his mouth for a second before the sensation left and restarted again, causing her to thrash under his grip. Embarrassment was now the last thing on her mind.
“I keep losing my place. Stop moving so much,” Colin ordered as he shoved two fingers deep inside her—the best sort of punishment.
Scarlett gasped and writhed against his hand. “I can’t.” Her body was moving of its own accord, chest rolling and hips canting toward him. “It feels too good.”
“It will feel better if you stop flopping around like a fish. You’re making this very difficult. Stop. Moving.” Colin’s voice went even darker when she purposefully disobeyed and bucked her hips off the bed, squirming around his plunging fingers. “I’ll hold you down if I need to, Red.” That idea set fire to her veins and made the persistent pang of her body demand his follow-through to the threat, so she bucked again, just to see what he would do. A hand came down hard on her lower stomach, pinning her against the bed harshly. The moan she let out was inhuman when Colin’s warm hands pressed against her bare skin. If this was what it felt like to be pinned down, she would have to ignore his suggestions more often. “That’s better,” he said. She had to agree, because the pleasure from where he was pressing down on her stomach was colliding with the spot inside her where his fingers were crooked and stroking, forcing her eyes to roll into the back of her head. It was all she could do to not lose her faculties completely as he bent to take her clit into his mouth again, sucking this time.
“Yes, yes, yes,” Scarlett chanted. “So close.” Each word was broken up by a gasping breath, and she could barely think she was climbing so high, edging closer and closer.
“Close to what? Say the exact word,” he mumbled against her thigh then dragged his tongue across her entire slit before diligently working her clit again.
Scarlett had exactly zero words and could barely remember how to breathe, let alone come up with the exact word he wanted. “C-can’t think. I’m… fuck.” When she was sure it couldn’t rise any higher, it continued, breaking her body down into nothing but pure tension, straining muscles, and curled toes, begging to get to the end. She could barely take it anymore. Balancing on the edge had her yelling out a frustrated sort of cry that must have tipped Colin off to her predicament, because he pushed down harder on her stomach, and she was done for. An aggressive tingle zapped up her spine, her body shaking as a wave of pleasure cascaded through her. Her chest arched with each new wave until they finally subsided and she couldn’t even move anymore. “Oh my God.” The final words were lazy coming out of her mouth, almost as if she were drunk. She could get used to the lethargic feeling of her body in the aftermath. In this rare moment of peace, her brain was quiet. It didn’t last long as her muscles started waking up again, but when it came back on, she couldn’t help the whirlpool of thoughts that inundated her mind.
“Did you come?” Colin popped his head up like a jack-in-the-box from between her legs, and she almost barked out a laugh at how ridiculously proud of himself he looked.
“Yes.” She nodded and looked away as she finally asked one of her burning questions. “Did it taste bad?”
Colin pulled himself up her body, crawling under her covers. “Here. Try for yourself.” His mouth landed on hers, his tongue immediately dipping out as she opened to him, the essence of herself still lingering there. It wasn’t bad like she thought it would be, more like a sweet sort of tang than what she assumed would be foul and pungent. The taste quickly faded as he languidly kissed her, and she slowly maneuvered under her comforter. When she slid closer, her limbs entwined with his, their legs laced together. She could feel that he was hard again, his erection gently hitting her stomach. Out of curiosity, she reached to touch him. Colin arrested her wrist and guided her hand to lay against his chest instead as he broke off their liplock. “It’s too sensitive. I think I’ll die if you try to get me off again.”
“Oh.” Scarlett bit her lip. “How long does it take before you can do things again?”
He flopped down beside her on the bed. “I got myself three times in one day once, but it was hours apart, and it was too much. I don’t think I touched myself for a week after that.”
“Special occasion?” She giggled.
“You know The Promenade ?”
“The regency movie with the hot library scene?”
“Yep,” he confirmed.
She curled her lips over her teeth to hold back her grin. “It kinda seems like a rite of passage for men to get themselves off to Quinn German’s tits.”
“Yours are better because I get to touch them.” Colin smiled up at the ceiling then frowned. “I also found out that my uncle co-ghostwrote the book adaptation of that movie, and it kind of killed my enjoyment of it.”
“The uncle with all the tattoos?”
“Women usually mention his tattoos when they want to have sex with him.” Colin grimaced. “Do you?”
“What?” Scarlett scoffed, anger sparking behind her eyes. Not ten seconds after her orgasms, and he was already accusing her of asinine things. “I was just trying to figure out who you were talking about. He’s way older than me, or at least old enough to be your guardian. You were literally just between my legs two minutes ago. Do you really think that poorly of me? If you just want to pawn me off on someone else, just say that.”
Colin sat up, startled, the bedding falling around his hips. “I—that’s not—I don’t think badly of you at all. I just don’t ever understand anyone’s subtext, and I was going off of experience. Walker is more like an older, cooler brother than an uncle. I’m used to people constantly wanting to talk to Carter, Piper, and Walker more than they want to talk to me. And this is probably why, because I say things, and then everyone looks at me like I just said I was abducted by aliens. I don’t know how to fucking be normal in social situations, and I can never figure out where everyone’s invisible line is. Sorry. You don’t have to do this with me either, you know. If I’m just a pity fuck, I don’t want that.” Scarlett was about to get pissed off all over again when his voice cracked, then softened. “I like you, so it’d really suck if this was all some sort of game that I’m not in on or a joke to tell your friends about when I’m not around.”
“This isn’t a joke,” she murmured, then braced herself for honesty. “I’m a little terrified that I’m more invested in this than you are.”
“How?” Colin’s brows pulled together. “I’m running on no sleep because I stayed up for half the night making charts and forms.”
“I just…” As she trailed off, her mind filled in missing words. I just want to be more than an experiment . She didn’t want to be the test subject for whoever Colin fell in love with later. Being the test subject for her dad to figure out how to have a better family than the one he already had hurt enough. But she also wanted all the things Colin was offering because of the control and safety it offered. The opportunity probably wouldn’t ever happen again. It was out of the box, and she doubted any future sexual partner of hers would want to be meticulously graded the way Colin did.
“I’m invested, and I’d rather you tell me outright if or when you aren’t anymore,” he said, and she couldn’t help but feel like the safety net she was expecting was bound to wrap her up and suffocate her unawares.
Instead of voicing her worst fears, Scarlett took a deep breath. “I’m in this.”
“Great. Then I think we should fill out our charts while everything is still fresh.” Colin moved to get off the bed, and her stupid heart sunk further in her chest. None of this was ever going to be real, and it would be in her best interest to remember that.