Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Scarlett
18 Years Old
Cupcakes made everything better. Unfortunately, Scarlett could usually only bake them when Kashvi was present because the number of times she had set the tray in the oven only to immediately forget to set a timer had resulted in one too many burnt batches. Sometimes, in addition to needing a map of her sexuality, she wanted a map of her brain so she could point to whatever part made her so forgetful and easily distractible. It shouldn’t take her a decade to clean her room because she suddenly felt the deep desire to organize her entire closet when she hadn’t even picked up her laundry off the floor. That particular predicament was how she had decided body doubling was her best way to get out of being found dead days later under the pile of clothes she was still deciding on whether she wanted to keep or donate. Kashvi was easily bribed by the prospect of cupcakes like any true friend would be.
“Oh my God.” Kashvi moaned dramatically as she adjusted the horrendous denim beret they had found in the far reaches of Scarlett’s closet and proceeded to giggle about for a solid ten minutes. It was incredibly small and didn’t properly fit on Kashvi’s head, making the sight even more ridiculous.
“You sound like you’re fucking your cupcake,” Scarlett cackled.
“If this cupcake was interested in me like that, it could put its babies inside me.” Kashvi plopped the remainder of her red velvet cupcake on her tongue and slapped the carpeted floor like the cupcake was legitimately giving her an out-of-body experience.
“Would the babies just be mini cupcakes?” The full-sized ones were good, but they had literally just bought boxed cake mix at Lydia’s grocery and thrown it in the cart with a travesty of spray cheese and crackers, so it wasn’t a revelation or anything. Granted, Kashvi had snuck a bottle of wine from her sister’s stash, and while Scarlett was still working on her first glass, Kashvi had already downed hers in a few gulps. Not only that, but compared to Scarlett’s five feet eight inches, Kashvi’s pint-sized body always got drunk way faster.
“I think maybe at first they’d just be a little sprinkle until they grew into a full-sized cupcake,” Kashvi declared. “You should know way more about baby-making than me, though. How’s it going with Milo Thatch from Atlantis? Still super in love with him?”
“I’m not—I’m only a little in love with him,” Scarlett argued. “Plus we haven’t exactly been doing the part that makes babies.”
“What have you been doing for the last month if not hooking up with your boyfriend constantly? What happened to the sex-periment?”
That was still very much happening. Foreplay had become somewhat of a sport to them now. Colin was so good at going down on her that she kept giving him fives across the board on their chart. This last time, she had only docked him one point because she’d orgasmed too quickly, and she wanted to enjoy his tongue for just a little longer. With the numbing cream idea nixed, they’d usually get him off as quickly as possible so after she had her own round, they’d both be ready for round two.
“I think he’s worried that I won’t like it—or, actually, I know he’s worried about that because he straight-up told me.” Scarlett let out a long sigh that could have blown down the brick house in the Three Little Pigs fable. “He’s read way too many books on the female body and has convinced himself that I might not like it no matter how hard he tries. He’s a bit obsessive about being good at things. I keep telling him that I want to try it again and I don’t mind if it’s bad because we’ll figure it out like everything else, and he just keeps saying ‘soon’ and then checking out another book from the library about vaginal sex. I’m going to beat my head against a wall with all this waiting.”
“Then what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out trying to seduce him or something?” Kashvi took a cheese-whizzed cracker from the wood cutting board they had taken from the kitchen to be classy.
“Colin’s at that school auction thing tonight scheming with his siblings.” In all honesty, Scarlett would have loved to witness the entire debacle with their uncle, but Colin hadn’t invited her. It was probably for the best since Scarlett had a feeling the Hartrick siblings were severely underestimating how pissed Walker and Talia were going to be the second they realized what was happening. Auctioning off a date with Talia was one thing, but not getting her permission to do so and then making sure Walker sat front row for the show to force him into bidding was… well, it was fucking bonkers. But desperate people did desperate things.
“You could still seduce him. The auction is probably over by now,” Kashvi said through a mouthful of cracker.
“What, like, go to his house?” Scarlett balked.
“No, dummy. Sext him!”
“And… how would I do that, exactly? I’ve never sent anyone anything like that.” As evidenced by the way Scarlett’s face turned pink, the thought of sending something salacious by text felt even more risky than actually doing it live in person.
“You start off with a little flirting and then hit them with something more sexual. Usually guys take the hint.”
The idea that Colin would casually flirt with her over text was laughable. “Colin doesn’t know when I’m flirting with him, Kashvi. I literally have to hit him with ‘I am flirting with you,’ or he thinks I’m just stating facts. One time I told him I thought he looked better without clothes on and batted my eyelashes at him, and he said, and I quote, ‘I have to wear clothes outside of the bedroom or I’ll get arrested.’”
“Okay, so, he doesn’t do subtle.” Kashvi hummed. “What if you tell him you’re going to masturbate? Surely the image of that in his head will make him crazy, right?”
“This conversation is mortifying.” Scarlett groaned and threw herself on the floor, pressing her face into the carpet. “But I might be buzzed enough to do it.”
“Yessss!” Kashvi clapped her hands together. “There are friends that tell you to make better choices, and then there’s me, who highly encourages you to send something absolutely filthy to your boyfriend.”
“I have no idea why my mom thinks you’re a good influence.” Scarlett rolled over and pulled out her phone.
“Easy. I present as a sweet little Indian girl with perfect grades. Parents adore me. I’m going to Yale. They, and my parents, just don’t know yet that I’m majoring in art history. There’s still time to be a massive disappointment, I assure you.” Kashvi flashed her classic innocent smile. That one was going to be a shock for Kashvi’s parents when it inevitably came out that she had zero plans to go into pre-law, but as far as Scarlett was concerned, she and Kashvi were a match made in platonic heaven, a future art curator and a hopeful artist.
“A major disappointment, some might say.” Scarlett grinned at her own pun.
“You’re starting to sound like Colin.” Kashvi laughed and pointed toward Scarlett’s phone. “Get to texting.”
“Okay, okay.” Scarlett dutifully pulled up the text thread she had with Colin, which was usually just an exchange of times and locations to meet up and the frequent “did you drink any water today?” text from Colin. The answer was always a no. She typed out a few different things, settling on the most obvious of them all. Kashvi hummed in approval when she moved to read over Scarlett’s shoulder. “Here goes nothing.” Scarlett held her breath and pressed send.
Scarlett 9:23 PM
I think I’m going to test out that vibrator you bought me tonight. What are you doing right now?
The three little bubbles indicating Colin was texting popped up immediately, and Scarlett met Kashvi’s eyes with excitement. “He’s typing!” she screeched. The anticipation only lasted a moment before his text came through, and her face fell.
Colin 9:23 PM
Cool. Hopefully it works okay. I’m playing Monopoly.
“Wow.” Kashvi gave a low whistle. “Man cannot take a hint to save his life.”
“I knew this was a bad idea,” Scarlett groaned.
“No, no. Listen, your first attempt, I’ll admit, did not exactly work, but you need to double down. Like… send him a hot picture or something.”
“I don’t have any good pictures of myself. I look like I have crazy eyes in every picture.”
Kashvi mumbled something under her breath and shook her head. “Well, I can see why you’re together because I apparently have to spell everything out for you. I meant like a tasteful boudoir picture.”
“What?” Scarlett’s voice cracked on a high note. “I can’t do that… can I?”
“It was just a suggestion. You don’t have to do it,” Kashvi backtracked. “If you don’t want to, that’s a completely different story. Or if you’re worried he’ll share the picture, then I wouldn’t suggest it, but he’s already seen you naked, has he not? And from my own conversations with him, I can’t imagine he’s the douchey type to post it anywhere. I mean, when we all went out to lunch the other day, he gave me a list of all the gross things Rick said about me when he was his lab partner. They were listed in order of severity.”
“I can’t believe you were ever interested in that guy.” Scarlett made a grotesque face. She had been there for the making of the list after Colin had asked her whether Kashvi would want to know that information.
In all her life, the riskiest thing Scarlett had ever done was hook up with Colin, and so far, every step of the way, she had felt safe. She was frequently embarrassed, and they had floundered their way through plenty of things, but never once had she felt unsafe. Confidence was the thing she lacked most, and the idea of having sexy pictures—not even for Colin, but to remind herself that she was desirable with or without him—was enticing.
“Let’s do it.” Scarlett slapped her thighs in decision. “I think I have the perfect thing to wear. He’s really into red. You think you can pose me right? Because these are going to be awful if I try it myself.”
Kashvi grinned. “I’m obsessed with paintings and statues of naked people. Of course I can pose you! You’re going to look like you belong in the Louvre.”