Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
Colin
22 Years Old
The car was dead silent on the way up to the lookout. The only sounds from the backseat were Theo adjusting in his booster seat and pulling at the seatbelt that was slashing across his neck. Twice Colin had had to tell Theo that he couldn’t put the strap behind his back, no matter how uncomfortable it was. He hated that some of the only words he had spoken to Theo were a reprimand for something that was clearly irritating the kid, but safety came first, and Colin knew all too well the dangers of car accidents, even when the proper safety equipment was used. The cheap booster seat Jessie sent him with looked hard in all the wrong places, and Colin had probably gained a few frown lines when he put it in his car, knowing Theo would be uncomfortable. It all made sense; the comfortable ones were expensive, and foster kids never got the expensive stuff. Autistic kids in foster care weren’t always going to get the resources that they needed to succeed, and that fact was depressing.
“I’ll have a different booster seat and a seatbelt pillow next time,” Colin called to the backseat, where Theo was rocking back and forth and had one hand fisted in a ball as he bounced it off his leg in a repeated motion. “You can choose which one you want when we get there.”
It took a moment for Theo to respond, and Colin wasn’t exactly expecting him to, given that what he had said was a statement, not a question, but when he finally did, it was almost inaudible. “Seatbelt pillow?”
“Yes.” Colin nodded as they finally hit the dirt path to the lookout. “It’s a padded piece that goes over your seatbelt, so it won’t bug you as much. My parents got me one when I was little, and I used to take naps on it in the car.” There was no response from Theo, but again, Colin didn’t expect one, so he focused all his attention on the dirt path ahead and the gravel pit at the end of it. The Trenton Point Lookout didn’t usually look like much in the light of day, just an informational placard in the makeshift parking area that Colin had all but memorized when he was little and wanted to be a geologist when he grew up. The second you got past the small line of trees, though, the large igneous rock formation had a semi-flat top to it, making the area perfect for chairs to look out over the city at sunrise, sunset, or, his personal favorite, right now, in the dark of night, because the city was glowing below like the firefly sanctuary he once went to see when he lived in Maryland.
Once they had parked and Theo had all but bailed out of the car, Colin scooped up his supply of two chairs and his leather tote containing the Spider-Man comic books Theo had requested, a thirty-page printout of the National Cancer Institute’s Milestones highlight magazine from this past year, some black pens, yellow highlighters, trail mix, and a blanket shoved on top. Wordlessly Colin handed Theo the one flashlight he had packed, and they headed past the tree line and out to the main landing. He had explained all of this in advance so nothing would be a shock to Theo, but it was helpful that there was no one here, and the woods were quiet except for the crackling of a few branches in the breeze and the occasional squirrel skittering up a tree. Theo worked the flashlight like an eight-year-old, which meant Colin couldn’t see shit as he bumbled toward the spot he usually sat at when he came up there. Luckily, it was only a few yards away from the parking area, and he had been up there so many times before, his muscle memory wasn’t likely to let him fall off the cliff’s edge.
When they made it, the gasp and hopping sequence Theo did as he pointed out into the city below was worth every single inconvenience to get there. Scarlett’s painting had been a beautiful rendering of it, but there was nothing compared to the real thing and being surrounded by fresh air and the kind of silence that only spoke in the woods. Once they were seated and Colin had gotten Theo set up with the blanket, a comic, and a book light, they settled into a comfortable silence.
This place held fragments of Colin’s past the same way his childhood home did. Depending on the company, the memories ranged from chaotic to peaceful, loving to sad. When he had come with his dad, it was a comfort after turmoil, or occasionally, when they would come ‘just because,’ they would talk for hours about all the things that interested them. With his mom, it had always been more emotionally charged. She would ask him questions about friendships and girls that he could never quite understand, or, like right now, they would just sit in silence and breathe. With his siblings, Piper would usually end up injuring herself, Carter would pretend that he was going to jump off the edge to scare the shit out of their parents, Pearl would request a retelling or reenactment of their parents’ engagement at that exact spot, and Cooper was so young that he was usually playing with the sticks and dirt until he was filthy.
And then there were the times he had come here with Scarlett. Listening to her stories, sharing his own, kissing every chance they could get, and falling in love without a clue they would break each other’s hearts.