Chapter 40
Forty
Colin
23 Years Old
Colin’s morning routine was underway. He had already run three miles before the sun rose with Walker, drunk coffee, and taken a shower in his new, mostly empty apartment. He didn’t have to go to work on a Sunday, but he swung by anyway to finish one of his reports and use the database to read up on what he hoped his research project would be on when he started his doctorate program. The best part of his routine was that he barely had to think about it. He could move through the motions because they were expected. He could get in a bit more work because work, while it challenged his mind, wasn’t mentally taxing in the way emotions and masking were. Unfortunately, nothing would stop his brain from hyperfixating on the night before—the best night he’d had in a long time before it had crashed and burned epically.
I don’t believe you . He had never had someone blatantly tell him that before, because no one ever had cause to think he’d be lying. Walker, maybe, given the things Colin had lied about his senior year, but even then, Walker seemed to wholeheartedly believe everything that came out of Colin’s mouth. His word was infallible. Even back then, if Walker had called Colin out, he would have told the truth. Most of his lies had been lies of omission, anyway. Most had been because he was in love and wanted to see Scarlett. In truth, he knew why she would think he didn’t love her. It was the same reason Cooper had told him he needed a time machine that morning, and if he didn’t love his job so much, he would consider going back to school to become a physicist. Neither of them knew the war with his mind he’d had to fight just to come back, let alone admit that people wanted him around.
When Colin made it back to his apartment after finding a good stopping point with his research that evening, he took one look at his mostly empty living room—apart from Theo’s easel and art supplies—and turned to head back out the door. He didn’t know how to make this place look like a home, but the emptiness was starting to grate on him, and if he ever wanted it to feel like a home and a place he and Theo felt comfortable in, he needed furniture other than the simple bed frame he had picked out. Theo’s DNA painting was the only piece of artwork on his walls, and he had hung that haphazardly over his bed. If he ever had a hope for Scarlett to come over, he knew it was time to ask a professional because she would no doubt be appalled by the lack of color and bare walls.
After Piper graduated, she had taken over their parents’ interior design business and found a place in Archwood to rent with Leo when the two had finally locked each other down. Colin already knew Piper would be the best person to fix his space into something livable and homey, but he hadn’t gotten around to asking her yet. Between that and knowing she had finally worked past some of her relationship issues, he could kill two birds with one stone. Everyone’s protests about Piper being the worst person to talk to when it came to romantic exploits must no longer be valid given her hard-fought relationship with Leo. Carter had been the self-proclaimed relationship expert before, but given his recent break-up with a girl Colin thought was the textbook definition of controlling, Piper was his best option. He liked Leo, and Leo didn’t send off alarm bells in his head, unlike Piper’s previous boyfriends.
When he arrived, Piper’s Mini Cooper wasn’t in the driveway, but that didn’t mean much considering Leo often took her car to run errands when his own car was broken down. The hood to Leo’s clunker was propped open where it was parked in the gravel to the side of the driveway, so Colin figured it was still likely that Piper was home and Leo’s car was acting up again. It was a wonder how they had managed to get the car down to Archwood at all.
Colin knocked on the door and waited only a moment before Leo pulled it open with a phone pressed to his ear and raised a finger to silence him.
“That won’t work. We need at least ten gallons of corn syrup. It’s the most important shot of the movie, and we’re going to keep flashing back to it, so I need there to be enough blood. Get more,” Leo demanded, presumably to whoever was on the phone since Colin had zero plans to buy more corn syrup. Without any sort of goodbye, Leo ended the call and looked up at Colin, swiping at the black curls on his head. “Piper should be back later, if you’re looking for her. She’s hanging out with my sisters-in-law.”
“Ah.” Colin bobbed his head awkwardly. The only sisters-in-law Leo had were Harper and Saanvi. He had only briefly met Kashvi’s sister once at Piper and Leo’s musical production of Guys and Dolls a few months back, and it was safe to assume that she and Harper were both on the same page about disliking him.
“Do you want to wait for her? Sam is here, and he’s being annoying as shit, so it would be nice to have another voice of reason in the group,” Leo said.
“You asshole, I am as cool as a cucumber!” Leo’s friend popped his head from around the door and waved. Colin had met Sam a few times: at the funeral for Leo’s grandmother, starring opposite Piper in the musical, and the occasional time Sam was at the house with Leo for a script meeting with Walker. The indie film Leo was directing and producing was an adaptation of one of Walker’s novels, a romantic psychological thriller with apparently enough fake blood to be sponsored by corn syrup. “Good to see you again.”
For all of Leo’s gruffness, he continually surrounded himself with the chipperest of people. Colin didn’t mind it. Sam minorly reminded Colin of Scarlett in the way he got excited about small things and laughed often. On the other hand, he was as tall as Colin, with blond hair brighter than his own and a face built for the big screen if Colin had ever seen one—all chiseled lines and perfectly straight teeth. Scarlett was round in all the right places, soft and squishy like his favorite pillow. Leo was the antithesis of both of them, tall, dark, and handsome, except he was five-eight at most and had the countenance of a Rottweiler rather than the golden retriever Piper had proclaimed she once wanted. At some point, Colin would have to remind Piper that he was right about his ‘opposites attract’ theory.
“Good to see you, too.” Colin gave Sam a nod of acknowledgment before dropping his eyes to Leo again, looking slightly past him. “You might be able to answer some other questions I have, actually.”
“Sure.” Leo opened the door and stepped to the side to let him in. They all wandered into the living room, where several green swatches were painted on the wall, no doubt a display of Piper’s indecision. Leo caught where his gaze had landed and said, “She could choose any of them, but she’s been agonizing over it for a week, like if she chooses the wrong shade of the same color, walking into this room will make us all fall into depression.“
“They’re all different,” Sam scolded.
“I’m sure they have different color codes, but they look pretty much the same to me,” Colin noted. The swatch on the far left had more of a beige hue to it, maybe, but even that was a stretch.
Leo gave a wry smile and gestured to Colin, who had just taken a seat on the sofa. “Like I said, voice of reason.” Besides the paint, everything else about the room was finished with warm colors and sensible furniture. He thought the leather couch would be uncomfortable when he sat down, but he found it was the opposite, and he sunk into the cushions, relaxing. Piper was shaping up to have the exact same taste as their mother, who valued both fashion and practicality in her approach to interior design, which was a good sign if he needed his apartment to be both comfortable for his and Theo’s sake and aesthetically pleasing for Scarlett’s sake.
“I’m on pins and needles,” Sam cooed. “What are you going to ask him? Are you going to fight him in a duel for your sister’s honor?”
Colin looked to Leo. “Why? Did you do something to her?”
“Depends what you mean by that.” Leo smirked.
“I mean did you hurt her or something else that would require me to hit you,” Colin explained.
“Shit, I forgot that you’d take me literally. Sorry, I was just making a joke.” Leo waved a hand in the air in dismissal “No, I’d never do anything to hurt her like that. The most I’ll do is needle her about how all the paint swatches she’s deciding between look exactly the same. And that’s more because I find it fun to get a rise out of her. She’s very cute when she’s pissed off.”
“As someone who has argued with her plenty, I disagree,” Colin said.
Sam cackled and motioned to Leo. “Well, Lover Boy here is mostly heart eyes around Piper, even when she’s yelling at him.”
“I told you to stop calling me that,” Leo grumbled.
Sam barreled ahead, addressing Colin. “Can’t imagine you would hurt a fly, anyway.”
“I’ve punched someone in the face before, so I would definitely hurt more than a fly,” Colin recounted.
“I completely forgot that was you.” Leo sat up straighter and turned to Sam conversationally. “Colin’s the one who punched Piper’s ex in the face back in high school.”
It had been a long time since Colin had thought about what happened that night, other than telling Scarlett for the first time he was in love with her and falling asleep with her naked and curled into him. It was still the best night and best morning of his life, to this day. At the time, he didn’t even know why he had been so angry to the point of violence with Harden, but now he knew exactly why. Harden deserved it, but Colin’s emotional dysregulation had also come into play. Between the loss of his parents that caused a well of pent-up and confusing emotion and the loud music that had made his brain go into fight or flight, one more thing had pushed him over the edge, and he simply couldn’t take it anymore.
“I met that guy once,” Sam said. “If there was ever a person that needed to be punched in the face, it’s that guy.”
“I’ll offer up my services for his next reckoning,” Leo said, casually cracking his knuckles before flipping the subject. “What’d you want to ask Piper?”
“I was going to hire her to make my apartment not look like a serial killer’s apartment.”
Leo’s smile was so wide and genuine as he jumped up from the couch that Colin wasn’t sure what exactly he had said to warrant such a reaction until Leo jogged into the office he and Piper shared and came back out with a file folder of papers. “Here. She’s already worked up several design options for you and printed off pictures of furniture options for you to choose from. I think there’s even a corduroy accent couch in there.” Colin probably should have guessed that Piper would have already prepared for this, given that they both had the same organizational obsession they had gotten from their mother. In addition to that, they both had gotten their father’s mathematical brain, and it was evidenced by the pricing breakdown Piper had provided within a spreadsheet.
“This is perfect.” Colin nodded and closed the folder. He would look at it in depth later.
“But you said you had a question for Leo, too, right?” Sam interjected.
“Yes,” Colin folded and unfolded his hands. “I was going to ask you how to prove you love someone, because you’re clearly into my sister and you got her to go from despising you to living with you in the span of a few months.”
Leo blinked, a startled look about him before he cocked his head to the side. “Scarlett, I assume?”
“You assume correctly,” Colin confirmed. “Does that mean I’m transparent about it?”
“I’d say you’re pretty damn obvious,” Leo said.
“I’m confused. Are you trying to figure out if you love someone?” Sam asked.
“I don’t have to figure it out. I know I do. Scarlett doesn’t know that I do,” Colin explained.
Sam scoffed and shot a look at Leo that Colin couldn’t place. “Why don’t you just say ‘hey, I’m in love with you’?”
“Sometimes it’s more complicated than that,” Leo muttered.
“I don’t think it is more complicated than that at all—that’s my problem,” Colin said. “I told her I love her.”
“Ooh.” Sam cringed. “Did she not reciprocate?”
“She said she didn’t believe me.” Colin swallowed, his mouth feeling dry and sticky. “It hadn’t occurred to me that she’d think I was lying. But, given our history, I guess it makes sense.”
“Right, Piper told me about the sex chart. She followed it up with a bunch of gagging, but I thought it was very crafty of you.” Leo chuckled.
“Scarlett now thinks that that experiment is all I want when I couldn’t give two fucks about finding out what I like in bed. I already know what I like, and it’s her . How do I prove that?”
Leo hummed, leaning his forearms against his thighs. “You weren’t around for five years of her life. A lot has happened since you left. That last time you told her you were in love with her, you were both young and stupid.”
“She was never stupid.” Colin glared at Leo.
“That was more of a turn of phrase, like young, dumb, and broke,” Leo clarified and then, with an added smirk, said, “I like that you defended her, though. I know she’s not stupid. Harper kept trying to set me up with her a while back, and no one would ever suggest I date someone dumb.”
Colin’s spine straightened, an acidic feeling churning in his gut. “You dated Scarlett?”
“No, but I can see that you hate the idea of that. I was always six hours out, so I barely even interacted with her.” Leo cocked his head. “Didn’t picture you as the jealous type.”
“I’m not jealous. It makes sense that she’s dated other people. It makes sense that one of them was an attractive firefighter who was actually very helpful in getting my mentor kid some information. I took him on a trip to the fire department, and Braiden showed him around so he wouldn’t be so scared. He’s a nice guy, I just don’t like the idea of Scarlett in bed with someone else or holding hands with someone else or telling long stories to someone else while cuddling. That makes me want to pull my hair out, and I hope I was better in bed than all of them combined.”
“Friend, that’s jealousy.” Sam laughed.
“Is it?” Colin asked. “Even if I have no right to feel that way?”
“Yep,” Leo confirmed. “I have no right to be annoyed when men look at your sister, but she’s mine, so everyone else can fuck off. Your sister feels the same when anyone looks at me, too. The best part is I’m not at all interested in other women, but I really like how she resembles an angry Tinker Bell when she’s jealous.”
Maybe that would explain how Colin’s mood had soured so stupendously after the night of the fire. When Scarlett’s ex had mentioned the book Scarlett still had in her nightstand, all Colin could think about was how Braiden had seen the inside of her nightstand and he hadn’t. He had survived his apparent jealousy by deciding that Scarlett had to frequently read the book because all her ex-boyfriends—besides himself—were inadequate in bed.
“If I could interject and get us back on track as the person here who’s been in a relationship the longest—” Sam raised his sharp chin to the ceiling and smoothed his hair over. “This is a simple answer to me. With Wes, it didn’t take a bunch of dicking around to?—”
“You’re gay, right?” Colin interrupted. Sam nodded. “Then you quite literally dicked around.”
Sam grinned wide and cleared his throat. “I did not pussyfoot around with Wes,” he corrected himself. “I said what I said, and I proved it by showing an interest in him. Maybe instead of trying to prove that you’ve always loved her?—”
“You learn who she is now and love that person,” Leo tag-teamed, pointing a finger in the air as if to punctuate the ‘aha!’ moment. “I think she’ll be more inclined to believe you if you show her that.”
It didn’t take any deliberation on Colin’s part before he was out of his seat and standing at his full height. “So, I tell her I want to hang out with her, strictly because I like the version of her that she is now.”
“And don’t bring up anything physical,” Sam agreed.
“Shouldn’t be too hard considering I’ve been running on the memory of her for five years.” Colin adjusted his glasses. “I’ll just masturbate before I hang out with her so I can think about anything other than her breasts.”
“That’s… so much information.” Leo grimaced.
“A solid plan,” Sam said.
“At least it’s not a liquid plan,” Colin retorted, then reconsidered. “Or maybe it is more of a liquid plan.”
Sam barked out a laugh and shoved Leo’s shoulder. “My God, where have you been hiding this guy?”
“I don’t get out much,” Colin explained.
“I know you just went to the gala, but maybe go to the 5K for the foundation next week as a show of good faith?” Leo suggested. “Piper and I were planning on going.”
“Same.” Sam raised his hand.
“Okay, good plan.” Colin started to pace with excitement. The tightness in his chest he’d had since the night before lessened. This was feasible. He could show her how much he loved the current version of her. It wouldn’t be hard because he had watched her for months, listened to her animated art lessons, and shown up earlier than necessary to every one of her art classes as an excuse to see her. Soon, the art studio would be open again, and he would be back in her company. The 5K was yet another perfect excuse to see her. “I’ll get my entire family to go and get sponsors for all of us.”
Leo opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket. Colin peeked at the caller ID displaying the name “Princesa” with a sunflower emoji and a picture of Piper flipping the camera off just before Leo answered it. “Hey, when are you—” The alarming way Leo catapulted from the couch with his eyes wide made Colin’s heart drop in his chest, his stance going completely rigid. “Where are you?” The tone was all panic, and Colin gritted his teeth, waiting for Leo to get off the phone and tell him what had happened. Sam had risen to his feet as well, eagerly standing beside Leo. “It’s okay, mi vida. Your brother’s here, so I’ll have him drop me at the hospital. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?” A pause. “Okay, I love you. I’ll be there in just a minute.”
The second Leo ended the call, a single word shot out of Colin’s mouth. His brain had latched on to it, and the fear had wrapped around his head, pulling taut. “Hospital?”
“Piper broke her arm tripping over Harper’s end table.” Leo, who was already sprinting toward the front door, called back over his shoulder, “I need you to drive me to the ER, and we need to roll your sister in fucking bubble wrap.”