34. Very Much Married #3
Her lips curl in satisfaction, and she leans into him, letting the warmth of the bath and the warmth of his touch soothe her in equal measure. For the first time in what feels like forever, there is no urgency, no fear. Only them. Only this.
“Tell me about our first time together from your timeline,” she asks.
Dorian smiles, leaning back, eyes closed. “Our first time together in my previous timeline was my first time with anyone.”
“Really?”
“You sound surprised. I know what can happen to women as a result of the marital act. I never planned to do it with anyone I wasn’t married to, anyone who wasn’t willing to take that risk.”
“And yet… you had an affair with a married woman.”
“Not just any married woman,” he reminds her, opening his eyes. “ You. And only after you all but begged me. Just… putting that out there.”
Selene flushes.
“I told you that you were hard to say no to.”
Selene isn’t sure what to say to that. She slides her calves against his and lies back. “Have you been with others since?” she asks.
Dorian goes quiet for a moment. “No,” he says.
“I thought about it. After you—when I was convinced that I was never going to save you, that I was doomed to repeat the wretched loop forever—I thought maybe it wouldn’t matter, that I could get you off my mind that way.
But it wouldn’t have worked. And, at the end of the day, I was always trying to end the cycles, to make a better world.
I didn’t want to wind up with a child with anyone else but you, or put someone else through that. ”
Selene grins at her husband. “Come on,” she says. “Let’s get out of the bath. ”
Dorian’s fingers trail lazily through the water, his head resting against the edge of the tub. His eyelids are heavy, and for a moment, Selene wonders if he might fall asleep right there. She watches him, the way the dim light plays over his pale skin, the way his lips part slightly as he exhales.
Selene takes his hand, lacing their fingers together as she stands, the water cascading from her skin. She steps onto the cool stone floor, reaching for a towel. Turning back, she sees that Dorian still hasn’t moved, his head tipped back, eyes closed again.
“Dorian.”
He lets out a quiet breath through his nose before finally pushing himself upright with a wince.
Selene is already waiting with a towel, wrapping it around his shoulders as he steps out.
He doesn’t resist when she runs another towel through his hair.
He stands still, letting her fuss over him, before he finally catches her wrist and presses a kiss to her palm.
“You’re fussing,” he says, voice low with exhaustion.
“I am not,” she argues, though she doesn’t pull away when he lowers their joined hands.
Dorian smirks but says nothing more. He lets her go long enough to dry himself off and pull on loose linen trousers, rolling the waistband absentmindedly as if even that effort is too much.
Selene slips into her nightdress and watches as he moves toward the bed, dragging a hand through his damp hair.
The moment his back meets the mattress, he groans in relief. Selene smiles and follows, crawling in beside him. The sheets are cool against her bare legs, but Dorian is warm when he reaches for her, pulling her close.
She drapes herself over him. He shifts just enough to press a kiss to her temple, then another to her cheek.
When he reaches her lips, it’s slow, lingering, but there’s no urgency, no fire.
He’s too tired for more than this, and she doesn’t mind.
The weight of him, the way his arm tightens around her, is enough.
Selene presses a final kiss to his collarbone and sighs, relaxing into him.
“I wish we could stay up here all day,” he murmurs .
“Why can’t we?”
“Well, there’s things to do…” he insists, “and I imagine that we’ll get hungry at some point…”
Selene smiles, and wriggles out from the bed.
“Where are you going?”
“I will be back very shortly.”
She pulls on a dressing gown and slips downstairs. Rookwood, Soren and Ariella are all seated around the kitchen table. Soren leaps up as soon as she enters.
“Is Dorian all right?” he asks.
“Are you all right?” asks Ariella.
“Are either of you hungry?” asks Rookwood.
“Yes to all,” Selene replies. “And I wondered if I could have your assistance in keeping Dorian all right? ”
“What do you need?” asks Ariella.
“Dorian is insistent that we get up, do things, and eat.”
The three of them groan.
“Dorian needs to be on death’s door to stay in bed,” Rookwood tells her. “Which, admittedly, was only two days ago, but still.”
“I am hoping he will stay in bed if I do too.”
Soren spits out his tea.
“Ariella,” Selene goes on, “I take it you have the keys to everything?”
“That I do.”
“Can you see that Dorian’s study is locked?”
Ariella’s eyes gleam, as if she’s been waiting for permission to do this for years. “I can do that.”
“Rookwood, can you arrange for food to be sent up at regular intervals?”
“I absolutely can.”
“Splendid. I love you all. See you in three days.”
“Selene?” Soren stops her.
“Yes?”
His lips curve into a smile. “Be gentle with him.”
She smiles right back. “As a feather.”
“Sweet gods, you’re good at that,” Dorian moans as Selene stretches out beside him, tucking her naked body against his. “This staying-in-bed-thing might not be so bad after all…”
“Glad I could convince you.”
Soren comes up with a tea tray shortly afterwards. He doesn’t even glance in their direction, merely placing it down on the table and scuttling away.
Selene gets up and brings the table back to bed, handing him a plate.
“I hate being waited on,” Dorian moans. “It always makes me feel so lazy.”
“Well, I don’t,” Selene tells him, “and you don’t think I’m a bad person, do you?”
“I do not.”
“If I was ill, you would want to help me, wouldn’t you?”
“You know I would.”
“Then let the people who love you take care of you, Dorian.”
He grins.
“What is it?”
“I’m just getting used to you being in that number.”
Selene smiles. “Tell me about the first time I told you I loved you,” she asks him.
Dorian looks awkward. “You didn’t,” he says.
“I didn’t?”
“I mean, there were plenty of times you implied it, but you never explicitly stated it outright… so you can imagine my surprise when I overheard your claim to your mother that you loved me.”
“I knew you heard something—”
“Did you mean it? ”
“I—” Selene thinks for a moment. “It was a lie until I spoke it,” she admits. “As soon as I uttered the words, I realised that they tasted like the truth.”
She reaches for his hand, threading her fingers through his. Then, unable to resist, she lifts his knuckles to her lips and presses a lingering kiss there, her breath warm against his skin.
“I love you, Dorian Nightbloom, and I’m sorry that it’s taken me lifetimes to let you know.”
Dorian exhales softly, his thumb stroking along the curve of her hand, as if committing the moment to memory. Then, with an exaggerated sigh, he turns his attention to the plate she gave him. “Well, if I’m going to be so well taken care of, I suppose I should eat, shouldn’t I?”
Selene smirks, retrieving her own plate. “You should.”
Dorian makes an effort, though his appetite is still clearly lacking. He picks at the food, eating in slow, distracted bites, while Selene eats properly beside him. She doesn’t push him, only glances his way every now and then, as if silently willing him to finish more.
After a few minutes, Dorian sets his fork down. “I’m not particularly hungry,” he admits.
Selene studies him, frowning. “You should eat as much as you can, even if you don’t feel like it.”
“I am.”
“Are you?”
Dorian sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met.”
She grins. “And yet, here you are, in love with me.”
“I must be ill.”
She nudges his knee under the blankets. “Eat a little more, then you can whine about it all you like.”
Dorian mutters something under his breath but obediently picks up his fork again.
Selene just smiles, satisfied.
Dorian manages a few more bites before finally setting his plate aside. Selene doesn’t push him further, simply taking it from him and placing it back on the tray. He exhales, slumping back against the pillows, his expression a mixture of exhaustion and quiet contentment.
Selene watches him for a moment, then shifts closer, resting her head against his shoulder. “You should sleep a little,” she murmurs.
He hums in response, his fingers grazing absently along her arm. “I feel like I’ve done nothing but sleep.”
“You’ve also been insufferable,” she reminds him. “That must take energy.”
Dorian snorts, tilting his head to press a kiss to her forehead. “And yet, you insist on keeping me around.”
Selene doesn’t respond immediately. Instead, she traces idle patterns against his wrist with her fingertips, her mind turning over thoughts she isn’t quite sure how to voice.
“Dorian,” she says at last, her voice quieter now. “If the cycle reset—if we had no memory of each other—do you think we would find our way back to each other eventually?”
He’s silent for a long moment, his hand tightening around hers. “I’d like to think so,” he says. “Though I don’t know if I would have deserved it.”
Selene lifts her head, frowning slightly. “What do you mean?”
Dorian exhales, his thumb brushing absently along the back of her hand.
“I made a lot of mistakes, Selene. I broke things I didn’t know how to fix without going back and starting all over.
And if the cycles never broke, if they had gone on forever…
I think I would have lost sight of who I was meant to be. ”
She studies him, then leans in, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “But it won’t go on forever,” she reminds him. “And you’re still you.”
His expression softens. “Am I?”
She smiles, nudging his chin so he looks at her properly. “You’re mine,” she says simply.
Dorian blinks, then lets out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “You’re dangerous when you say things like that. ”
Selene only smirks, shifting so she can tuck herself against him once more. “Get some rest, darling husband. I’ll be here when you wake.”
Dorian lets out a breath, his arm tightening around her. “I’m holding you to that.”
Within moments, his breathing slows, his body relaxing as sleep finally takes hold.
Selene stays awake a little longer, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, listening to the quiet of the room around them.
Then, finally, she allows her eyes to close, letting herself drift into sleep beside him.