Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Mia
“ W oo hoo!” Daisy yells as the song ends.
It must be the twentieth song in a row we’ve danced to. The sweet country songs didn’t last long and party music has been fueling the energy for the last hour. We’re both out of breath and sweaty. And I’m happy! So happy! I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun! However, the last time I was out at a bar I wasn’t a mom. In my previous life, dancing and jumping around with three beers in my belly wouldn’t have affected me the way they have tonight.
“Daisy, I am gonna pee my pants! Be right back!”
“Okay, make it quick!”
Maneuvering through the crowd of people, I round the end of the bar to the hallway that leads to the restrooms and stumble as I run into a line of women who got here before me.
Shit!
Bouncing from one foot to another, I glare at the back of a guy who walks by and right into the men’s room, because, of course, they don’t have a line.
When the same guy walks back out and our line has only moved a few inches, I’m seriously contemplating sneaking into the guys’ bathroom when I feel a warm body behind me. I nearly melt when warm fingers gently wrap around my elbow and a deep voice whispers in my ear.
“Come with me before you pee on my floor.”
Okay, not the sexiest thing ever said to me, but it is the first time Angus has ever whispered in my ear. Feeling his breath in my hair does things to me that leave me wet for all the right reasons.
“What?” I ask, tossing my hair over my shoulder like I’m in a shampoo commercial.
What is with me tonight? I’m just so extra.
One side of his mouth lifts, because I’m ridiculous, but he can laugh at me all night if it brings the light to his eyes that we so rarely see since he came home.
“Come on, Goof. This way.”
He turns and I follow him behind the bar and through the kitchen. I watch him unlock a door at the back and after I’m over the threshold, he shuts it and locks it behind him. The sound of the music is gone and his proximity in the dark space is overwhelming. But with the flip of a switch, the darkness vanishes. An overhead light illuminates a set of stairs he’s taking two at a time.
Holy shit.
He’s taking me to his loft.
I’ve heard many tales of ladies who have had the night of their lives in Angus McKinnon’s loft. But that’s all they usually get, one night.
“You can use the bathroom in my place. Trust me, it’s a lot cleaner than the ladies’ room downstairs. I don’t know what you all do in there, but by the end of the night, it’s fucking disgusting.”
“Right?” I carefully take one step at a time. “I will never understand it.”
Once we reach his loft, he spins on his booted heels and opens his arms up wide. “Well, here we are. Home sweet home.”
He picks up his Carhart jacket lying on the table and drapes it over the back of a chair. Stealing it crosses my mind, but I push the thought aside. Other than that one item, his place is spotless. I expected dirty clothes on the floor, and pizza boxes and beer cans littering the countertops. I couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s perfect.
“Angus, it’s beautiful.”
I know my mouth is hanging open, but it really is gorgeous. And huge. One big open room with shiny hardwood floors, brick walls, a very well-made king-size bed, and an area with weights that includes a workout bench, dumbbells, and a punching bag.
“The bathroom is over there. I’ll turn on some music so you don’t get stage fright.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, letting his stupid comment go by, still shocked at the lack of neon beer signs and the neatness of the space.
In the far corner, the door to the bathroom is open, and before I’ve entered, NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye” starts playing through the surround sound speakers.
Oh, he thinks he’s cute, playing the song that Daisy and I know every word to. We know every dance move from the video, too. Angus watched us do it at least a hundred times.
“Hilarious!!” I yell over the music as I shut the door behind me.
The bathroom isn't as nice as the rest of the place. It’s clean, but looks decades old. As if he remodeled everything but forgot this part. There's a small shower, a sink, and a toilet. The walls are dark gray and one lone towel on the rack hangs from the wall. It’s simple and in need of some sprucing up.
I take care of my business and while I wash and dry my hands, my reflection stares back at me. There’s a smile on my face. It’s been a good night, and it’s nice to have these small silly moments with Gus. And, of course, everyone else. But mostly with Gus.
I’ve never truly been alone with him. He’s always around. I mean, always. But I can’t recall many moments between just the two of us. I know there are times we’ve been alone in a room, but they don’t really stand out. Not like tonight. He may have been saving me from Rhen and asking about my interview, like a good friend does, but being in his arms made it hard to breathe.
Who knew the man could dance like that? I’ve seen him dance with other women, but I do my best to look the other way. So, tonight his two-step took me by surprise. As did his whispered words in my ear. They may not have been the sentiment I dreamed of hearing as a lovestruck teen, but they did the trick. Sure, I convinced myself there would be no more pining for Angus when I got pregnant. In fact, the night I announced my pregnancy, I also shut down that part of me. The part who desired men. Especially one particular man. For a while, it worked. I was a little too busy worrying about being knocked up and then trying to figure out life as a single parent to worry about childhood crushes.
Not sure who I thought I was kidding, though, because I am far from over Angus McKinnon.
He’s standing in the kitchen looking at his phone when I come out. The music is so loud he doesn’t notice me at first, allowing me the briefest of moments to take him in, here in his own space.
You could say his short buzzed hair lacks style, but with his perfectly shaped head, it works for him. As always, his T-shirt strains against the muscles of his broad chest and tattooed arms, but it’s the way his thick thighs and that ass of his threaten the denim of his jeans that mesmerize me more often than I’m proud to admit.
“Everything come out okay?”
“Dork,” I say, walking in the opposite direction of him.
Now that I’ve finally made it into his bachelor pad, I need to explore. I feel him watching me as I read the spines of the books on his shelf. Lots of history and military books, but there is also The Count of Monte Cristo and Wuthering Heights.
He turns the music down before he asks, “You’ve never been up here before?”
“Nope. I’m your sister's best friend and your mom’s goddaughter. I don’t really fit the description of most of the women who have visited Angus McKinnon's lair.”
“Whatever, Goof.”
“Have you really read Wuthering Heights ?” I ask, looking at him over my shoulder.
“What? You don’t think I can read?”
“Shut up. It’s just so... I don’t know.... depressing.”
“Why? Because it doesn’t have a sweet little happily ever after?”
“Forgive me if I prefer not to be in a deep depression for days after reading a book.”
“Well, it’s good to have realistic books out there, don’t you think? Nobody is perfect, and love can be selfish and cruel. It’s not all roses and chocolates.”
Leaving his books behind, I meet him in the middle of the room, where he continues watching me with his hands in his front pockets.
I’ve had a million conversations with him over the years, but never alone in his loft and the topic has never been happily ever afters and the truth about love.
He still surprises me after a lifetime spent in his orbit.
“The chocolates I can get behind. But I’ve never understood spending money on flowers that are going to die in a few days. Don’t get me started on how expensive they are! People could do so much more than buy flowers with that much money.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t really know. Unlike some women, I don’t need a man to spend money on me. They don’t even have to take me to dinner. I’d be happy with a home-cooked meal that wasn't made by me.”
“So, food is your love language?” His head tilts to the side in question.
Hmm... is it?
“Strange, I never really thought about it, but I guess it is. Just feed me and I’m happy.” I chuckle at how true the notion is.
He stares at me.
No smile.
No eye roll.
Is he having a seizure?
His adorable head tilt is about to do me in. I need to make a break for it before I say something stupid and make a fool of myself.
“Well, thanks for letting me use your spotless and line-free bathroom,” I say, hoping to break the awkward moment. Walking backward toward the stairs, I lift a hand waving goodbye. “I appreciate it.”
“Anytime,” he says, snapping out of his stupor.
He follows me down the stairs, locking the door behind us. I see a basket of tots on the counter and can’t help but steal one as we make our way back through the kitchen.
“I saw that.”
Once again, the deep timbre of his voice only inches behind me sends a bolt of electricity through me.
“Put it on my tab,” I reply.
“Like I’d let you spend a penny in my bar. Your money's no good here, Mia.”
“Family discount?” I joke.
“Sure. Family discount, Goof,” he says cooly. But I don’t have time to think about the sudden shift in his attitude because Daisy is waiting for us on the other side of the bar.
“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“Sorry, the line was long and your brother let me use the upstairs bathroom.”
“Score! Bet it was a lot clearer than the mess down here.”
Now on the other side of the bar, she grabs my hand and pulls me toward the dance floor. “Come on, mamma. We need to get you on the dance floor before you turn into a pumpkin.”
She’s right, my nights out are few and far between. Until tonight, I hadn’t realized how much I needed a break to let go and have fun. But it will be over before I know it. I don’t need to spend what little time I have in lofts talking about books with a cute boy. Especially a cute boy who is completely off-limits.