Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Mia
I ’ve been standing in the shadows by the abandoned cake table for two songs now, unable to bring myself to end the beautiful scene before me. Everyone I love in the world is in one place, and at the center, Gus sways to the music with Sawyer fast asleep in his arms.
When I ducked back into the barn, Angus was walking them toward the dance floor with Knox. Angus rubbed Sawyer’s back as he gently bounced them along to “We Are Family,” and there was no way I could interrupt the moment. When the song ended, I started to close the distance, but then Sawyer snuggled deeper into Gus and the tattooed cinnamon roll of a man gave him a kiss on the head.
That’s when the first tear fell.
My little boy deserves someone like Angus in his life.
He deserves to be loved.
Wanted.
Cared for.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing anything right. Should I have handled things differently with his father? Not that he has any desire to be a parent. He sure as hell doesn’t deserve that title, but biologically, that’s what he is.
If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change anything. I couldn’t, because then I wouldn’t be lucky enough to be the mother of my sweet, smart child. But will Sawyer feel as fortunate to have only me when he’s older? Because the day will come when we finally have the talk about who and where his daddy is.
Will he hate me? Will he ever forgive me?
Watching him with Angus breaks my heart. What I wouldn’t give for him to have a man as special as Angus McKinnon as his father.
The same Angus McKinnon who hasn’t left my side all night.
My head is all spun up and confused from our constant touching. Dancing. Laughing. Having my back when Hailey introduced herself. Calling me wifey. And now this.
We’ve always been close. How could we not be? Our families are practically one and the same. He was my brother's best friend. I’m his sister's best friend. We’ve spent so much of our lives around each other. But something has changed, hasn’t it? Or is my sad little heart feeling things that aren’t there?
My parents have finally said all their goodbyes and Angus is gently handing Sawyer to my dad. Which means, sadly, my time in the shadows is over.
Wiping my face to ensure there’s no remaining trace of tears, I take a deep breath and meet them as they’re walking toward the table where I left Sawyer’s packed bag.
“Hey, you two sure you want to go? I can take him home,” I offer as Angus lingers off to the side, watching us.
Watching me.
What I wouldn’t give for them to take me up on my offer to take him home, because the thought of being here without someone to kiss at midnight is depressing. Especially with the only person I want to kiss staring at me in an unfamiliar but not unwanted way.
“Nonsense. Stay,” my mom insists.
“Sweetheart,” my dad says, holding his grandson in one arm while pulling me close with his other. “We’re going to miss our time with him, honey. It’s as much for us as it is for you.”
“I’m gonna miss you two. And not just for the free babysitting,” I giggle through the sorrow of missing them already, refusing to let the tears start again.
“Tomorrow, sweet pea.” Mom takes me by the hand. “Save all that for tomorrow.”
Angus is still standing to the side of the table, waiting. Is he waiting for me?
Am I imagining things?
Have I completely lost my mind?
I glance at him, feeling my eyebrows pinch together in confusion. He replies with a sexy little wink and the tiniest lift to one side of his mouth. Still unsure what to make of him, I follow my parents out to the car, leaving Angus inside.
The distraction of getting my sleeping baby boy strapped into his seat only lasts a moment. I hug my parents, holding each of them a little longer than usual, then back up to stand alone, waving as they pull away.
Alone.
I’ve never felt so alone.
With Mom and Dad leaving, it will be just the two of us from here on out. I know I can handle it, but it was nice to have the support of my parents. Sure, I have Daisy and the entire McKinnon clan, but it’s not quite the same.
What I wouldn’t give to have my big brother back right about now.
Even though there’s snow covering the ground, and I’m certainly not dressed for the frigid weather, I’d rather be out here than inside as the clock strikes twelve. Not having anyone to kiss at midnight only adds to the loneliness sitting like a weight on my chest.
Following the snow-cleared path with the moonlight as my guide, I sneak around the corner of the barn where I find more shadows to hide in as the cold air burns my lungs and, hopefully, clears these ridiculous thoughts of Angus from my mind.
But I’ll be damned if his reaction to seeing me in my bridesmaid dress this afternoon didn’t make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the room.
He had come over to Cal’s house to deliver a gift to Charlotte from Callen. When I answered the door, he didn’t speak. And he didn’t hide the hungry way he took me in from head to toe. When he was done with his appraisal, his heated gaze met mine for a beat before he said, “Mia, you are the prettiest damn woman I have ever laid my eyes on, you know that? It’s gonna be a long ass day.”
After his compliment, I was the one left speechless. He walked past me, in his suit jacket and tie, dark denim jeans and cowboy boots, as I stood there, letting the freezing air in as I held the door open in shock.
His subsequent looks and gentle touches have frankly had me feeling a little horny all day.
Sexy. For the first time since becoming a mother, I’ve felt confident about my body. I’ve added a little extra swing to my hips tonight. And I may or may not have been purposely posing to maximize the slit of my dress, displaying more of my leg than is respectable for a single small-town mother. If only my self-confidence hadn’t brought with it even more confusion.
Exhaling several fortifying breaths, my emotions finally settle for the first time in two days when something in the air shifts. Holding my breath, hoping I’m not found, I still at the sound of boots on snow.
“Hey, wifey. Whatcha doin’ out here in the cold without your coat?”
And just like that... All calm flees from my body. The person I was hiding from has found me. Still, I refuse to look in his direction, hoping maybe I’m hearing things.
But then he steps in my line of sight, holding my coat open for me. “Put this on before you freeze to death.”
“Thanks.” One word is all I give him, not trusting myself enough to say more.
Being alone with Angus at midnight was not the plan.
Stepping closer to him so he can wrap the coat around me, I slip my arms inside and he pulls the front together but doesn’t zip it.
Doesn’t step away.
Instead, he moves closer.
My body buzzes from his nearness, as though every nerve is on high alert. I wait to see where he takes this, because his unwavering gaze hints at what I never dreamed could be true.
He wants me.
God, how I want him to want me.
Inside the barn, the countdown to the new year begins. This is my moment. My chance to take what I’ve always wanted and not let another what-if pass by unanswered. When the clock strikes midnight, I can either kiss him or forever wonder what it would feel like to have his lips on mine.
Adrenaline races through my body as I lift a foot to step into him, but before I get the chance to take what I’ve always wanted, he reaches inside my coat, resting his powerful hands on my hips. His eyes search mine, asking for permission.
Any other night, I would have stopped him, afraid to let this thing building between us ruin our friendship.
But not tonight.
When the countdown gets to three, one of his hands blazes a path up the side of my body, along the side of my breast, and up my neck. By the time the crowd yells, “Happy New Year,” that same hand tangles in my hair. His lips ever so gently press against mine. Once, twice, three times. Nothing has ever felt more natural. So right. On the fourth kiss, he traces the seam of my lips with his tongue, and I open to him.
He pins me against the ice-cold barn, his warm body pressing into me as if he can’t get close enough. My hands wrap around his back, exploring his expansive muscles.
“God, Mia.” One of his hands grabs my ass, connecting us even more. “You’re everything. Do you know that?”
Did someone spike my drink? Am I on some sort of trip right now?
“Angus...” I breathe out a puff of white air as he trails kisses down my neck.
Is this really happening?
“I’ve wanted you for so long.”
He what?
Another kiss on the neck.
“You. Are. All. I. Think. About.” His lips trail across my exposed collarbone.
“What?”