Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Mia
T he way Gus watches me with unadulterated need spurs me on, giving me the courage to take what I want.
What I’ve always wanted.
Him.
It takes a few moments to adjust to the size of him, but now that I have, I’ve set a leisurely pace, not wanting to rush what he has promised is our one time together.
“Fuck, Mia. Look at you riding me. You are fucking exquisite. You feel so damn good.”
His words are as intoxicating as I’m sure his tongue would feel if his head were between my legs. The thought threatens to end my slow and steady pace. But when he puts his thumb into his mouth to wet it, I know what’s coming. My heart rate picks up, only to soar off the charts when he presses that same thumb against my clit to work me over in a way I never want to end.
“I want to watch you come apart for me, gorgeous. I need to feel you come apart for me.”
“Not yet,” I breathe out with a throaty moan.
“Whatever you want, Mia.”
The way he fills me to the point I almost can’t take it, the sweet intensity against my clit, and his eyes all but worshiping me collide together to form the most beautiful agony. I hate for it to end, but my world is going black.
“Angus...” I lean forward, my hand on his chest to brace myself, and the new angle intensifies things. His cock hits that sensitive wall inside my core. Stars burst into my vision as my world combusts.
“Don’t stop, gorgeous. Don’t you dare stop! You’re gonna bring me right over that beautiful fucking edge with you.”
I yell his name, blacking out for what feels like endless heartbeats. When I open my eyes, I find his brows furrowed, his expression almost angry. I push back from his chest and settle my hands over his that are still on my ass, applying pressure to let him know he can set the pace.
“My turn to watch you come, Gus.”
In answer, he grips my flesh and sets a grueling pace, working my body up and down, his eyes never leaving mine.
Then, Angus McKinnon growls my name as he comes. The pace and intensity of his thrusts make my body hum as I come right along with him.
I don’t know how we got here, but thank God we did.
His features soften, and he makes a request of his own. “Don’t move. Not yet.”
He reaches for my face and kisses me softly.
Gently.
Our one time is coming to an end, and he seems to be savoring every last moment.
Releasing my lips, he rests his forehead against mine. “Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed of having you?”
“You’ve dreamt of me?”
“Mia, you don’t have a clue what you’ve been doing to me all these years. And even if this is a one-time thing, it’s something I’ll be fantasizing about at night while I touch myself for years to come.”
A red-hot blush burns my skin. “You can’t be serious.”
He flexes inside me, still hard like he can go again. “Feels pretty serious to me.”
Kissing him, I let my hands roam freely over his naked torso, not ready to let reality take hold just yet.
“Sweetheart, you’re shivering. Let’s get you dressed, and as much as it kills me to say it, we need to get back or things are going to get real weird.”
I’m so wrapped up in him, I didn’t realize I was shaking, but he’s right. The cold is seeping in, and as much as I hate to admit it, our time must end.
Rising from his lap, I instantly miss the fullness of having him inside me. I slide to my feet and slip my shoes on as I watch him in all his naked glory. Still hard, his impressive length bounces between muscular thighs as he removes the condom. Chiseled abs ripple as he stands. When he turns and bends to scoop up his pants, I finally get a view of his ass, and oh, what a view it is.
He stands, pulling on his pants with a knowing smile. Why bother hiding my obvious ogling of him now? After what just happened, I’m not sure how to lock my attraction away again.
“Keep looking at me that way, and we’ll stay in this room all damn night.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Sure does.”
He returns to the chair and pulls my lace thong from the cushion, tucking it into his suit jacket pocket.
I don’t bother asking for my panties back. If I’m being honest, I want him to keep them. To have a souvenir of this night. Of what we just shared.
While he buttons up his shirt, I pull my coat on. Once he’s fully dressed, he turns off the heater and grabs me by the hand, guiding me to the door through the dark room.
He opens the door, but before we cross the threshold, he turns, kissing me long and hard before slipping Granny’s ring on my finger. Then he scoops me into his arms, carrying me through the snow to the barn where our family and friends are saying their goodbyes. We’re back just in time.
“There you are!” Daisy yells when she spots me. “Where the heck were you? We’re gonna get one last group shot.”
“Sorry, needed some fresh air.”
Her eyes dart back and forth between me and her brother, who may not be holding my hand anymore but is standing much closer than usual.
“With him?”
“Neither one of us had anyone to kiss at midnight, so we thought we would remove ourselves from the awkward situation and chill out somewhere else.”
Relief fills her eyes, highlighting the second reason on my list of why I can never be with Angus like a flashing neon sign. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach, guilt washing over me.
What was I thinking?
“Well, that’s just silly. You two should have stayed in here with us. You could have kissed me.” She winks then, hooking her arm through mine to tug me away from her brother before leading us to the bride and groom.
Daisy releases me and gives Callen a hug. “Congratulations, brother. You did well.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
I reach for the bride, hugging her tightly, praying she can’t smell the sex on me.
“Thank you for including me on your special day. It means the world to me.”
It really does. Charlotte surprised me when she asked me to be in their wedding party since we haven’t known each other that long.
“We wouldn’t have wanted to do it without you. You’re family, Mia.”
And that’s the third reason on my list. No matter how perfect it was, Gus and I cannot happen again.
We all gather on the dance floor for one last group picture before we start to say our goodbyes.
Cal approaches, looking a bit out of sorts, but pulls me to his side. “How are you getting back to your place?” he asks, almost absentmindedly.
“I got her,” Angus says from behind me and I freeze worried everyone will know.
Do they know?
“You sure?” Cal counters.
“You just worry about your bride. I’ve had nothing to drink in the last two hours and it’s not like she lives far from here.”
He’s focused on his brother, thankfully, and not on me. There’s no way I’m ready to meet his gaze in front of his family after what we just did. It would be way too obvious. It already feels like I just screwed Angus is stamped onto my forehead. I need to remove myself from his presence.
I hug Cal and give him my best, then rush away to get my bag.
Gus is waiting for me at the barn door. He silently walks me to the truck’s passenger side and helps me into the cab, leaning over to buckle me in. I would normally protest, seeing as I am an adult, but something about having him so close feels too good to complain about.
Within minutes, we arrive at his house.
“Don’t open that door,” he says when he shifts the truck into park.
Running around the vehicle, he opens my door, pausing in front of me before helping me out. It takes everything in me not to close the miniscule space between us and kiss him. But I keep my feet planted firmly in reality.
Our moment is gone.
For the last week, Angus has been driving to the ranch to shovel the walkway from the house to the driveway so the path is walkable, but he still takes me by the hand and escorts me up the porch steps.
He unlocks the door, holding it open, and I thank him as I pass by.
I drop my bag on the couch and slip out of my coat, but before I can turn to say goodbye, the door clicks shut.
He’s gone. Just like that. Without so much as a goodbye.
Keeping my back to the door, I take in a deep breath.
Be grateful. You knew it was a one-time thing.
But just as I’ve released my breath, the floor creaks a beat before two powerful arms wrap around me, and relief I shouldn’t feel has me settling against him.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
“Well, technically, it is my house.”
“True.”
He brushes my hair off my neck, exposing my skin that he immediately covers in warm kisses.
“I thought we had an agreement?”
I don’t care about the agreement. I want more of him. But the guilty part of me forces myself to remind not only him, but the both of us.
“We agreed to one night, and the night is far from over, Mia.”
His hands begin to wander. Growing wet and needy for him, I press my legs together only to be reminded my underwear are in his pocket.
God, that’s hot.
“Besides, you deserve better than a cold tack room in a barn.”
“I do?” I gasp when he cups my breast.
“Damn straight,” he whispers in my ear. “Not to mention you’re already sleeping in my bed.”
Without warning, he scoops me up and carries me in his arms, down the hall to his bedroom as if I were his bride.
He flips the switch on the wall. “Only this time we leave the lights on.”
My body stiffens. The control I felt in the barn nowhere to be found. I’ve carried a child. Nursed a child. I have stretch marks and cellulite. I can’t let him see me.
“Gus, I’m not sure I can.” I squirm out of his hold. “I’m a mother. Not a hot cowgirl or twenty-something tourist like the women you usually invite up to your loft. My body has been through, well, a lot in the last two and a half years, and I have the stretch marks to prove it.”
“You have always been and still are the most beautiful woman I have ever known.”
“Because you haven’t seen all of me.”
“Trust me.”
It’s not a request, it’s a demand.
He reaches for the silk tied behind my neck and in one move, my halter dress falls to my feet. I’m left standing in front of him in my strapless bra and heels. Scared motionless, I’m frozen to the spot as he examines every inch of my body. Unease churns in my stomach, threatening to make me sick.
“You. Are. Breathtaking.”
“Angus, you don’t have to--”
“Tell me I’m lying,” he says, grabbing my hand and cupping it over the tight denim straining to contain his erection.
Is this really happening?
Is Gus McKinnon planning on taking me for the second time tonight? In his bed, no less? And is he standing in front of me admiring my body as if I am exactly what he says I am?
Breathtaking.
He releases my hand and takes a step away from me. I let it fall to my side, missing the feel of him. Slowly and with purpose, he slips off his jacket and untucks his shirt from his jeans. He tugs on his matching black tie, loosening it enough to pull it over his head before sliding it over mine. The silky fabric tickles my skin as it falls into place.
“I’m not sure how this night keeps getting better, but you standing in front of me looking like a god-damned goddess right now is proof that it can.”
He unbuttons his shirt. My stomach twisting with fear and lust, I reach behind my back to unhook the clasp of my strapless bra. His eyes darken and his tongue snakes out to wet his top lip, fire igniting in my lower belly.
When my bra falls to the ground, he all but growls, “Fucking perfect, Mia. You are fucking perfect.”
He rips his shirt open the rest of the way. Buttons scatter across the hardwood floor.
His shirt hits the floor beside my dress. He yanks his boots off and removes his jeans in the blink of an eye. Tucking his thumbs into the waistband of his boxer briefs, he bends and, in one more swift move, stands before me naked as the day he was born.
It’s only been an hour since I saw him without his clothes on, but he’s no longer shadowed in darkness. Now, with the lights on, I can really take him in. And he is a masterpiece.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise. Over the years, I’ve seen him shirtless more times than I can count. But this… Well, nothing quite compares to the vision before me, and I doubt anything ever will.
It’s clear he uses the weights I saw in his loft. His body screams strength. Thick thighs, a broad chest, and corded muscles beneath intricate tattoos running up his forearms to his broad shoulders fight to steal the focus from his hard length, but his handsome face and the way he’s looking at me are what draw my attention.
Standing before him in nothing but my heels and his tie, I twist Granny’s ring around my finger, not sure what to do next. In the barn, hidden by the dark of night, I was bold and took what I wanted. Now, here in the blinding light, I feel exposed and uncertain.
He closes the distance between us, covering my hands with his to stop the incessant spinning of my ring.
“Let me show you just how beautiful you are.”
Mesmerized by his words and his gentle touch, I simply nod in reply.
Trusting him to take control, although I’m not sure I’ll ever understand what he sees when he looks at me, I let him guide me to the bed. He releases one of my hands, and circles one of my nipples with a fingertip before cupping my breast. Dropping my other hand, he moves behind me, the heat of his body setting me on fire when he whispers in my ear.
“You. Are. Magnificent.”
Standing in the middle of his bedroom beside his bed, the same one I’ve been calling my own for the last week, with nothing to cover me, I gasp when I catch my reflection in the wood-framed full-length mirror I’ve used every morning this week to get ready.
Angus’s larger body frames mine from behind as he presses against me. His knuckles glide over the side of my breast and down my side until his arm wraps around my waist.
His gaze is fixed to mine in the mirror when he speaks in a low velvety smooth voice. “I want you to watch me worship you. I want you to see what I see.”
Fear creeps in. I’m not sure if I can do this. “Angus, I--”
He steals my words before I can get them out. Releasing me to turn my face, he kisses me until I’m dripping for him. His tongue caresses mine while his calloused hands explore the curves of my body. I am lost to him. Hands fumbling behind me, I run my fingers over his skin. He is all I feel. No insecurity, no guilt, no fear.
Just Gus.
When he pulls his lips from mine, he moves so he’s standing in front of me. Needing to touch him I rest my fingers over his heartbeat. The steady rhythm under his skin calls to me. On instinct, I move my hand to press my lips to his chest.
“I’m going to worship you.” He places his finger under my chin tilting my head, so I meet his eyes leaving only a breath of air between us. His tongue flicks out over my top lip. “And you’re going to watch.”
This time I don’t protest, closing my eyes as he kisses down my neck.
“Open your eyes, beautiful.”
My fingers run over his short hair, enjoying the feel of his lips on my skin, ignoring his demand.
“Eyes, Mia. If you want me to continue, you will open your eyes.”
Hesitantly, I blink them open, not willing to give him up just yet.
“Good girl,” he purrs against my throat.
God, the view of him in the mirror as he goes back to kissing my neck is magnificent. His tattooed back, the hard round globes of his ass, and his muscular legs should be illegal.
As his lips move across my collarbone, my attention snags on my face. My lips are swollen from our kisses, my cheeks rosy with intoxicating lust, my eyes full of need. Whatever it is he’s doing looks good on me.
Bending lower, he sucks one of my nipples into his mouth, trapping it between his teeth. The sting from his bite sends an electric jolt through my body, waking any nerve endings that weren’t already activated. Watching his mouth on one breast, his hand on the other while his tie hangs between them, feels like an out-of-body experience. Like I’m watching a different couple in the mirror. His tanned skin against my pale body is absolutely gorgeous. I burn this into my memory, never wanting to forget a moment.
His mouth drifts to my other breast, giving it the same awakening sting. My back arches, pressing into his mouth, my body begging for more. My red nails scratch over his shoulders and down his tattooed arms. The sight is heady, heating me from the inside out.
“You watchin’?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He swings his tie over my shoulder. “Don’t take your eyes off that mirror, Mia.”
His arms reach around my back and hold me steady as he kisses his way between my breasts and down my stomach. My breasts hang heavy, the tight pink buds of my nipples begging for more attention. He slowly lowers to his knees, his hands dropping to my ample ass.
They don’t stay there for long, traveling over my hips and then up and down my thighs. His mouth dips lower and I tense, trying to take a step back, but he holds me firmly in place. His warm lips land on the small silver streaks I was hoping to hide from him, and I want to pull away and hide. As if sensing my reaction, his grip tightens.
Between kisses across my lower stomach, he says, “These gave us Sawyer. What could be more beautiful?”
Warmth settles behind my eyes, and I blink rapidly. A tear escapes, falling down my cheeks at the truth in his words. I wouldn’t trade Sawyer for anything in this world, including a flat, smooth stomach. There truly is beauty in our scars and watching this man I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember, as he worships my body is like some sort of mommy porn, my mind will play on a loop for years to come.
His hands grab my backside as he growls against my pelvic bone. He looks up at me, but I keep my eyes on the mirror like he instructed. “I have always loved your ass in a tight pair of jeans, but I have to tell you, naked, it exceeds all my expectations.”
He gives one cheek a gentle slap, and the corners of my mouth lift in the mirror.
His mouth glides back to my pelvic bone and he kisses me right above my clit. “Hold on to the bedpost, sweetheart.”
My fingers wrap around the wooden post as he lifts one of my legs and drapes it over his shoulder. What I see in our reflection is by far the hottest thing I have ever witnessed. My alabaster skin against his tan back and my stiletto over his tattoo is enough to make me weak in the knees, but when I simultaneously feel and watch him drag his finger over my clit, down my wet center, and then press it deep inside me my chest rises and falls on heated breaths. My core throbs, needy.
He spreads me open and licks me from my opening to my clit before burying his face in my pussy. The tandem sensation of watching and feeling threatens to take me over the edge. His grip on my ass intensifies as he pulls me closer, feasting on me like a man starved. I’m a quivering mess, ready to combust when he pulls away from me.
Glancing over his shoulder, he catches his first look at the two of us and his eyes roam up and down my body in a way that makes my cheeks heat. “Look at you, Mia. You’re fucking perfect. And you taste like fucking heaven.” He turns his attention back to me and flattens his tongue against my core, the tip teasing as it presses into me.
My hands run over his head, my body humming with pleasure.
He adjusts moving to the side and taking my leg with him, opening me even more. Bared to him. Vulnerable.
“Look how wet you are for me.” He licks his lips as he drags two fingers through my wetness before sliding them inside me. He doesn’t have to demand that I watch. I couldn’t force my eyes off his hands on my body if I wanted to.
My eyes catch his and his hand stops its divine stroking. Realizing why he stopped, I drop my gaze back to where his fingers had been working their magic. He rewards me for following instructions when his fingers begin moving in and out of me again. He hungrily watches me watching his hand work me into a divine madness. And right there, in nothing but my heels, I come for the second time tonight.
Instinct demands I close my eyes, but I resist because I want to watch. Want to see what it looks like to come apart in his hands. I repeat his name, like a prayer. Just as my world fades to black, he sucks my clit into his mouth, circling it with his tongue over and over until I scream his name. Finally, I close my eyes where I’m met with bright stars as I crash into blissful oblivion.
His mouth releases my clit and the last waves of my orgasm crest over me. When I finally flutter my eyes open, they find Angus as he continues to watch the slow movement of his fingers, his hand dripping from my release. He strokes his hard length with his other hand, and the sight intensifies my desire once again.
“Fuck.”
It’s all I get out before I come again, just as hard as the first time. Only this time I keep my eyes open and watch him.
After every last ripple of pleasure has run through me, he pulls his fingers out and then gently rubs his hand and my wetness around my sensitive pussy, not releasing me from my high.
Thank goodness I’m holding on to the bed for dear life when he releases my leg and stands. Otherwise, I would be in a puddle on the floor.
He kisses me hard before pulling the covers back on the bed. Tugging his tie back in front of me, he peels my fingers from the bedpost.
“Baby, we’re just getting started.”
And he isn’t lying. He lowers me to the bed and makes slow, luxurious love to me until the sun comes up. He kisses and caresses every inch of my body from my head to my toes, all while telling me every fantasy he’s ever had of the two of us together.
We take advantage of our one night.
He lives out his fantasies while ruining me for all men to come.
I let him brand himself on not just my heart, but my soul.