Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Angus
I t’s been the longest three weeks of my life.
Twenty-one days ago, I had one of the best nights of my life and I know the precise moment the night held that significance.
The moment everything clicked for me.
I was chatting with Mia’s coworkers about Sawyer, and I could feel her watching me. When I turned to meet her gaze, she didn’t turn away. Instead, her eyes softened with the same wonder and appreciation I feel for her.
It was at that exact moment; I knew there was no way I could simply take her home when the party was over. Leaving her to go book our room made more sense than anything ever has. I needed to touch her again. Taste her again.
It was selfish on my part, of course I knew that. But we both wanted another night. Needed another night.
We made love all night long, falling asleep around dawn. Once again, I was wrapped up in heaven on earth.
Silence accompanied us as we dressed and walked hand in hand to my truck. But at breakfast, we both relaxed. Our conversation picked back up. Maybe it was because stopping to eat delayed the end of our time together and we were embracing what time we had.
Then Rhen cast a shadow over our table and dimmed the light in Mia’s eyes.
Should I have hit him?
Probably not.
Would I do it again?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
The last thing I wanted to do was tell her about the bullshit rumors that have been going around about her mom and the mayor for the last year or so. I’ve known Erin my entire life and refuse to believe what people say. But I could see Mia’s wheels turning as soon as the insult rolled off his damn tongue.
On the way to breakfast, my mind was working double time, trying to figure out what I wanted to say. How to tell her I wanted more than one more night. That I wanted all of her. But first, she needed to know. Everything.
Then the morning went to shit and the last thing she needed was me complicating our already complicated relationship.
When I pulled up to the house, she spoke for the first time. “You don’t need to walk me to the front door.”
“Of course I will,” I insisted.
“No. Just let me go. You know Daisy is going to have questions about our sleepover.”
“Exactly why I should be there to answer them with you.”
“No need. I’ll tell her there’s nothing going on between us. It’s the truth, after all.”
The defeat in her voice ripped my heart out of my chest.
I reached for her, but she pulled away. It felt like she had dropped my heart on the driveway and drove the truck over it.
“Mia, talk to me.”
“I can’t do this again. It already hurts too much.”
“Okay.”
Okay? Really asshole? That’s all you got?
I wanted to punch myself in the face, but what else could I say after the morning she’s had? Especially when she was telling me to let her go.
The awkward part of me wanted to apologize for last night, but I wasn't sorry. Like I told her, I’m a selfish bastard. I wouldn’t change a thing.
The front door opened and my sister filled the doorway, arms crossed, letting all the heat out of the house.
She didn’t look happy, but I didn’t give a shit.
Mia let herself out of the truck and walked away without a goodbye or so much as a look over her shoulder, which threw me into a desperate panic. The woman has a death grip on my heart and was unknowingly walking away with it.
I’ve been to Sunday dinner every week since. After three no-shows, Mia and Sawyer are finally here.
Shit, they’re a sight for sore eyes.
I’ve barely slept since dropping her off three weeks ago. I texted her later that morning to check on her and she thanked me, but said she needed some distance.
Respecting her request was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
There have been a million times I almost texted her, called her or drove to the house when I was at the ranch to visit Mom. But I didn't. I’m not strong enough to hear the pain in her voice. If I saw the heartbreak on her face again, I may just say fuck it and claim her as mine. Consequences be damned.
Tonight, things are back to normal. She greeted me with a platonic hug, as if she hadn’t let me bind her up with the tie from the hotel robe as I feasted on her. As if she hadn’t come all over my face and we hadn’t fucked ourselves senseless.
With these memories occupying space in my head, it’s still the defeat and sadness on her face when I dropped her off the next morning that won’t leave me alone. It refuses to let me pretend everything is okay.
Although what I think is playing pretend on her part may not be. Maybe the space between us over the last few weeks was what she needed to get over things. Over me.
I haven’t been so lucky.
My feelings have only intensified.
I miss her.
I miss Sawyer.
At the moment, Mom, Cal, Charlotte, Daisy, and I are video-chatting with Knox. During the call Mia snuck away to change Sawyer’s diaper. I’m a man obsessed, waiting for her to come back into the room. So much so, I’ve barely heard a word Knox has said. Before I know it, we’re saying our goodbyes.
Getting up from the table, I’m about to make up an excuse to go find Mia when Daisy swoops in. Taking me by the arm, she forcefully drags me out the back door to the privacy of the deck overlooking the pastures. I’ve made sure not to be caught alone in a room with her for three weeks now, and have avoided eye-contact with her all night. Hell, I’ve been avoiding my sister as much as Mia’s been avoiding me. Daisy is a damn tornado when she wants to be. I’m afraid I’m not prepared for the storm she’s about to bring.
The Sunday after our sleepover, my sister cornered me. Once again, warning me not to hurt Mia. That she was going through enough after the Rhen debacle and didn’t need any other drama in her life. I told her she was freaking out over nothing. Of course, she didn’t believe me, but when I refused to answer any more of her questions, she let it go.
However, Daisy is like a dog with a bone. She may bury the bone for safekeeping, but when she’s ready, she’ll dig it up and chew until she’s gotten to the core and eventually until it’s all but gone.
Once we reach the far end of the deck, out of view from the dining room windows, she turns on me and hisses, “What the hell are you doing?”
It could be the cool early March evening air, but it’s more than likely the venom in my sister's voice that sends a chill racing down my spine.
“Not sure what you’re talking about, sis,” I lie through my teeth, keeping my gaze on the fence posts between me and the darkening horizon.
“Mia! You idiot! What is going on between the two of you?” Her finger as pointy as ever when she stabs it into my shoulder. “This is more than a fake relationship for her bosses, and don’t tell me it’s not.”
“I’m sure you’ve had your girl talk. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
I mean it. I want to know what Mia has told her. How she’s feeling. What she wants.
“Gus, this is Mia we’re talking about. Not one of your never-ending one-night stands.”
She doesn’t have to tell me the difference between Mia and every other woman I’ve had in my bed. There is simply no comparison. That’s why there has been no one else since New Year’s Eve and fuck me, but I don’t want there to be.
“You don’t have to worry, sis. I know I’m not good enough for her and Sawyer.”
“Shut up,” she hisses. “Don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t say that, but this is Mia, Gus. She's part of the family. If you hurt her, you hurt me.”
Same, sis. Same.
“She’s not going anywhere,” she continues. “And she’ll have to look at you at every Sunday dinner and family event from here until, well, eternity.”
I fucking wish.
“Dais, I get it.”
“Do you?”
“I don’t need a lecture, baby sister.”
“Gus Gus!”
Sawyer is running toward us at full speed with his head leaning forward like he may topple over any second, but he crashes into my leg just in time.
“Hey, buddy. Whatcha doin’?”
Knowing I shouldn’t, but I’ve always been a glutton for punishment, I look at my sister. Her arms crossed over her chest, the irritation on her face says it all. Don’t fuck up their lives.
Message received loud and clear , I say back with a nod of my head.
I scoop Sawyer up and he wraps his arms around my neck. His body relaxes against me like dead weight. Instantly comfortable.
“Sorry, it’s past his bedtime.”
Mia’s voice instantly brings me peace. After three weeks of silence, knowing she’s near is enough to loosen the knot of anxiety that’s tied me up since I dropped her off that morning. Not knowing what she’s doing or how she’s spending her day has had me balancing on the edge of insanity.
She steps up beside me to rub her son’s back and I’ll be damned if I didn’t want to put my arm around her and pull her against my side so they’re both in my arms.
“No, worries. You know I don’t mind,” I say, swaying from side to side to soothe Sawyer.
She looks at Daisy out of the corner of her eye before offering me a small smile. She seems uncomfortable under my sister’s watchful eye.
“So, how have you been?” I ask, trying to pretend we don’t have an audience. And stopping myself from telling her exactly how many days, screw that, how many hours it’s been since I’ve seen her.
“It’s okay. I told Daisy everything when you dropped me off. We can talk about it in front of her.”
My hackles go up, ready to battle Daisy, because of course she’s going to have something to say about me screwing her best friend all night while she babysat.
Eerily, she remains mute. It’s out of character for her. I don’t trust it. If she’s known for three weeks, why hasn’t she hunted me down and busted my balls?
“So... what exactly did you two talk about?” I don’t dare say too much before I know the details.
“My mom,” she whispers.
A surge of disappointment waves through me. Of course, she wasn’t talking about our night together. She was talking about her mom. She meant what she said when she told me she couldn’t do it again. That she didn’t want her heart to get involved. But I’m the asshole whose heart has always been involved and thought our night together meant more to her than the bullshit Rhen brought up.
I’m an idiot.
Of course, Rhen’s comments rocked her.
“Right. So, you doing okay?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to believe it’s true, but it explains the sudden move to the other side of the country, when they had never talked about retiring anywhere but here.”
“Are you going to say anything to her?”
“No. I figure it’s their relationship and really none of my business. And hopefully, it’s not true. Can you imagine if I confronted her about it and it wasn’t true?”
“Makes sense.”
Her eyes meet mine and I can see her heartbreak. “I hate that part of me believes it. And if it’s true, I hate to think of how much it hurt Dad. I’m not sure I’ll ever look at them the same again.”
With my arm not holding her son, I pull her into my side. “I’m sorry, Goof.” On instinct, I kiss her on the top of her head. She turns her body into me, so her cheek is on my chest and her hand goes back to rubbing Sawyer on the back.
The three of us fit.
But one look from my sister and I know I’ll have a lot to talk about in my therapy appointment with Dr. Laughlin tomorrow.