CHAPTER 13 #3
“That’s the standard by which they rate me.
Can’t tell you how much pussy I got back when I was winning on the rodeo circuit.
When I tell you these ladies cannot resist a rodeo star, I mean it.
When I was a kid, the girls did not like me at all.
I was lanky and goofy and didn’t know how to talk to ‘em. Once I started winning buckles, suddenly I was Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.”
“I wouldn’t call you dark by any estimation. Red is more likely.”
Johnny snickered. “So here I am, some dumb fuck eighteen-year-old and these hot blondes are just popping up like daffodils. Or daisies, I guess.” He snorted.
“Man, if I wasn’t straddlin’ a horse I was straddlin’ somethin’ else, if you know what I mean.
Kinda incredible I didn’t knock anyone up.
Maybe I did, but no one told me anythin’.
” He tipped his head back and looked at the porch ceiling.
“Those were the days. Now my back aches all the damn time, I’m broke as shit, and the only woman who wants in my pants is the one who broke my heart more times than I can count. ”
Victor spotted a pair of headlights headed up the road. At first he thought it might be a passer-by, but then it slowed and pulled into the driveway. He lightly tapped Johnny’s arm.
“I think that’s your sister.”
With a heavy sigh, Johnny hauled himself to a stand. “Best go inside then. I’ll handle this.”
Victor nodded and stepped into the house. After closing the door, he pressed his back to it. It wasn’t right to eavesdrop, but he desperately needed to listen to what Kayla had to say about the situation.
Victor heard the slam of a door and then the crunch of gravel as Kayla walked toward the house. When she was just close enough for her voice to carry, Victor heard her say, “Explain to me what the fuck is goin’ on.”
“You tell me. You’re the one with the boyfriend who beat your daughter’s ass so bad she can’t ride a horse.”
“Ain’t no way that’s true.”
“Oh yeah? You gonna believe Mike over your own kid?”
“I can see who’s side you’ve taken.”
“If you think I’m not gonna believe my own flesh-and-blood over that pit stain you call a boyfriend then you got another thing comin’.”
“He told me he barely hit her. Since when is spankin’ a problem with you?”
“Goddamn it, Kayla! Did you and I grow up in the same fuckin’ house or was it all a fever dream?”
Her response was even more irate. “It ain’t like that. Don’t you dare compare Mike to Daddy.”
“Why not? What’s the fuckin’ difference?” Johnny demanded.
“Don’t be a damn idiot. You said yourself she’s not even bruised. Daddy woulda had my whole ass black and blue, and all for nothin’. She talked back to Mike, and I’ve told her what she gets for runnin’ her mouth. She’s been warned a hundred thousand times.”
“If she’s such a terror, why don’t you spank her?”
“Because I can’t do it,” Kayla replied.
“Why not?”
“Because I ain’t got the heart for it! There?
Is that what you wanted to hear? I don’t like hittin’ my kids.
I don’t want Mike to do it either, but she’s such a little shit sometimes and I’m so afraid that if she don’t shape up she’s gonna be pregnant by fifteen and a drop-out by sixteen.
Her grades are already shit, and she’s startin’ fights at school.
What else am I supposed to do? You wanna preach, you try parentin’ a kid with a smart mouth and the stubbornness of a goddamn mule. ”
“Wonder who she gets that from,” Johnny muttered.
“I’m doin’ my best. You think you can do better? You’re fuckin’ welcome to try. You can’t even keep a damn job because you keep showin’ up drunk or gettin’ in fights. I’m workin’ two jobs just to pay the bills.”
“Maybe stop breedin’ kids and fuckin’ losers who can’t pull their weight then.”
“You’re one to talk,” Kayla shot back. “Datin’ the biggest slut in the county and cryin’ to me about it when she sucks off your friends behind your back.”
“Maybe don’t run your fuckin’ mouth when you’re punishin’ your kid for doin’ the same shit.”
“You can lecture me all day about my parentin’ skills, but the fact of the matter is that you haven’t been in my shoes and you don’t know the first thing about bein’ a father.
Maybe she’s some perfect angel with you, but you haven’t seen her in the ways I have.
You get to be the fun uncle who takes her on little trips.
You don’t have to do any of the hard work of fatherin’. ”
“I ain’t perfect, but I wouldn’t lay a fuckin’ finger on her.
I only hit grown ass men. Ain’t no way you’d get me to harm a hair on her head, and I don’t care what fuckin’ sassy shit she says to me.
I’ve had horses kick my head in and I’ve never wished them harm.
They’re horses. They do horse shit. Children are gonna talk back and act fools, and if you can’t handle it, then that’s your problem. ”
“Then you’d let her grow up a terror.”
“Daddy regularly beat my ass so hard I couldn’t walk for a week, and where’d I end up, huh?
I dropped outta school at sixteen. If I hadn’t had rodeo, I woulda been like all the losers you date, drunk and unemployed and beatin’ nine-year-old girls because I’m too much of a coward to throw hands with someone my own size. ”
There was a short silence, and then Victor heard her boots on the porch. “I’m pickin’ up my daughter. You gonna stand in my way?”
For the first time, Johnny’s voice softened. “Kayla, that girl loves you. She looks to you to protect her. Once that trust is broken, you can’t get it back.”
Kayla didn’t respond immediately, but when she did, there was no longer an edge to her tone. “She knows how to push my buttons.”
“So did we. Daddy didn’t fix us, he only fucked us up. You gotta try somethin’ else. This family’s already been shaped by the belt, and it ain’t done a thing for us.”
Victor heard what sounded like a sniff, then a ruffle of fabric. Johnny’s voice was muttering something, but it was muffled. It sounded like they were hugging. Victor only heard snippets of what Kayla said.
“Don’t… like us…got so scared sometimes…”
“I know.” Johnny sighed. “We gotta try to do better.”
There was a pause, then Kayla asked, “Does What’s-His-Name know about all this?”
“Who?”
“The guy who owns the place.”
“Oh, Vic? Nah. Taylor told me about this before I dropped her off, and I thought she might need some time to decompress here. Vic did see me get into a fight with Mike, but I didn’t give him the details about why.”
“Thank God.” Kayla sniffed a few more times; it sounded like she’d been crying a bit.
“I don’t want him thinkin’ I’m a terrible mother.
Taylor really seems to love this place. She talks about it all the time.
You should see her room. She’s covered it in pictures she’s drawn of Midnight.
I feel like I should start payin’ him for all this babysittin’. ”
Victor heard the approach of her boots, so he jumped to his feet and thanked his own common sense for taking his shoes off so that he didn’t make much noise as he sprinted for the armchair by the television.
Just as he settled in, the door swung open and Johnny entered the house, followed by his sister.
She was still wearing her Wal-Mart uniform.
Upon her entrance, the dogs laying on top of Taylor jumped up to greet her.
This woke Taylor, who sat up yawning. When she saw her mother standing by the front door, she slid off the couch and ran to her for a hug.
In response, Kayla wrapped both arms around her daughter and planted a kiss on the top of her head.
“Your mama wanted to apologize for all this,” Johnny said, squeezing Taylor’s shoulder. “She promises she ain’t gonna let it happen again.” With this, he threw a pointed look at his sister.
Kayla nodded, though she didn’t seem too sure about it. She pushed Taylor’s hair back off her forehead and forced a smile. “Let’s leave it in the past, okay? From now on, we’ll all try better to get along.”
“Okay,” Taylor replied with an enthusiastic nod. “Am I still allowed to come here and work with the horses?”
“Of course. That is, if it’s okay with… Vic, is it?” She winced when she looked at Victor. “Sorry, I’m bad with names.”
“Victor,” Victor confirmed, pushing himself out of the armchair. “And no worries, I love having her. I’m sure Midnight does, too.”
“Mama, can I give Victor a hug good-bye?” Taylor asked.
“Sure thing.” She released Taylor so that she could whip around and offer Victor the same embrace she’d given her mother. Victor chuckled and patted her head before she released him and craned her head back to look at him.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“Any time, kid.”
She released him and then followed her mother back outside. When the door closed behind them, Victor turned to Johnny.
“You get it figured out?” he asked.
“I hope so.” Johnny was still watching the door through which his sister and his niece had left.
“Gave her somethin’ to think about at least. I told her you didn’t know nothin’ ‘bout this. It’s best that way.
Don’t wanna give her a reason to stop lettin’ Taylor visit.
” Johnny finally met Victor’s eyes. “She really does love this place.”
“That’s two of us then,” Victor replied with a weak smile.
“Taylor’s a good kid. I see a lot of myself in her. Maybe I’m just tryin’ to protect her in the way no one protected me.” His throat bobbed a moment before he turned away. “Anyway, I guess I gotta get goin’. Don’t wanna take up any more of your time.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Yeah you do.” Johnny chuckled and walked toward the door. “By now I’m sure you’re sick of my ugly mug ‘round these parts.”
“Impossible,” Victor replied with a smile. Johnny winked, tipped his hat, and left.