CHAPTER 14 #2
There were a few guys there much better than him—this was Oklahoma, after all—but Victor didn’t much care about that.
As he stood by the gate watching the others go, he got to talking with several others, including Ramona.
Victor got to meet Ramona’s wife, who offered him a cold bottled soda.
There were old people, young people, people from all backgrounds.
It felt different than the pride parades Victor had attended in LA.
So many people here were in the closet or at least halfway in during their regular lives, so having this small gathering felt like getting to attend the Oscars.
Everyone was smiling and way more friendly than they otherwise might have been.
Victor got thanked for coming by strangers passing by.
One kid—maybe still in high school, maybe just having graduated—told Victor how much they loved his shirt.
He wished them good luck without even realizing why until they walked away. Oh right. His trans flag-colored shirt.
The bull riding began after team roping.
The event was too small to have bronc riding as well, but the bull riding was impressive enough.
Victor watched it for a while, then decided to head back to his trailer to check on his horse.
He filled up a bucket with water he’d brought with him to see if Saturn was thirsty, and she ended up sucking down half of his supply.
When he stretched up to a stand, he spotted a tall, skinny figure looming near his trailer, and it was so unexpected that he nearly shouted in shock.
Night had fallen hours ago, so the only light he could see by was an exterior light he’d turned on where he’d tied his horse.
The dark was why it took him so long to recognize who the figure was.
But even when he recognized him, he didn’t believe it was him until he’d fully approached.
“Johnny?” Victor blurted.
“Hey, Vic.”
Victor blinked in bewilderment, thoughts racing.
Johnny stepped closer, further into the light, though his cowboy hat kept much of his face in shadow. Still, it was hard to mistake him as anyone else, considering he was six-foot-three and had the type of stringy, lean build Victor had pretty much memorized.
“What are you doing here?” Victor asked.
“Uh, well…” Johnny cleared his throat, sounding unsure of himself. “I came with Sarah. You remember Sarah?”
“Your friend from high school?”
“Yeah, her sister’s… you know. Gay. So she asked if I wanted to come with her and I figured it might be fun.”
Victor stared at him, still too stunned for the information to sink in. When it did, the heart in his throat slowly started drifting back down into his chest. “Oh. So you’re not—I mean. This is just for Sarah’s sister. You know her?”
“She’s nice, yeah. She and Sarah are close.” Johnny paused, turning to stare out into the darkness for a moment. An announcer could be heard in the distance as the crowd clapped. “I guess this means you’re, uh—”
“Gay? Yeah.” It felt weird to say it out loud.
After coming out as trans to his family back in California, he’d fallen out of practice with the act of talking about it.
He’d been terrified of Johnny knowing, afraid that Johnny would reject him and the friendship they’d built over months would be reduced to rubble.
A glimmer of hope spread through him, because even if Johnny was only here as some kind of straight ally for his friend’s sister, it meant that he could accept Victor for who he was, and Victor didn’t have to go through all the hoops required to hide it.
“I didn’t know that,” Johnny muttered. “You coulda told me.”
“I didn’t know how you felt about gay people,” Victor admitted. Should he also tell him he was trans? Maybe it was best to do one thing at a time, really test the waters before diving in. “This is rural Oklahoma. Can’t blame me for being paranoid.”
“I know I’m dumb white trash, but I ain’t no Bible thumper. It don’t matter to me.”
Victor let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. “That’s great. I’m glad to hear it.”
“I never even thought—I mean you don’t act—” Johnny cut himself off and cleared his throat again. “I ain’t about to put my foot in my mouth, but you know what I mean.”
Victor had to laugh a little. “I can be gayer, I’m just stealthy for safety reasons.”
Johnny turned toward the trailer, glancing toward the truck and then back. “This thing got livin’ quarters in it?”
“It’s just a small space, but yeah.”
Johnny’s response didn’t come immediately, but finally he faced Victor and asked, “Can I take a look?”
“Sure. I’ll show you.”
Victor rounded his horse and went to the front of the trailer where the living quarters were.
The space came in handy for long multi-day shows when Victor didn’t want to get a hotel room.
The space was only two short strides from one wall to the bed situated in the gooseneck portion of the trailer, but it came with a sink and a tiny separate room with a composting toilet and a shower.
Victor had bought the trailer shortly after his move from Los Angeles back to his mother’s house, and it had taken him years to pay it off.
But it had held up well, and he doubted he’d ever sell it unless an axle fell off.
When Johnny stepped into the space, what was already a tight fit became claustrophobic.
He hadn’t expected Johnny to join him in the trailer, since it could pretty easily be seen in its entirety from outside.
Considering Victor had parked near the back of the field and the rodeo was still ongoing, there wasn’t anyone around, so the only light was the one in the ceiling and the string lights around the bed on the gooseneck.
Victor became keenly aware of Johnny’s closeness, so he rambled about how nice it was to have a small microwave and refrigerator and how he kept a propane burner in one of the tiny cabinets so that he could always cook something on the go.
As much as he wanted to shut up, he couldn’t.
Was Johnny straight? Had he been lying about attending with Sarah and her sister?
They were nowhere to be found. Maybe Johnny had come by himself.
Why was he standing so close? Fuck, he was tall.
Victor was five-seven, which put him eye level with Johnny’s collar bone.
It’d be so easy to just bury his nose in the V of skin exposed by the missing button of his grayish-green cotton shirt.
Victor became so focused on it that he must have trailed off, because suddenly the space went eerily quiet.
Victor tipped his head back, daring to meet Johnny’s eyes for the first time.
Johnny was staring at him, his expression unreadable.
Again, his hat kept much of the light from reaching his face, but this close Victor should have been able to interpret something.
What was he thinking? Was his mouth dry and sticky like Victor’s?
Victor jolted when Johnny’s hand grabbed a fistful of his shirt and shoved him back against the shoulder-high wall you had to climb to get to the bed in the gooseneck.
Victor was equally shocked when Johnny’s mouth crushed against his, and he nearly pulled away to ask what the hell because his mind was two steps behind his body.
His body knew what to do though, because his hands instantly grappled at Johnny’s shirt before grabbing onto his belt from behind, which made for a good handle when Johnny was so quickly everywhere at once.
The prickle of Johnny’s five o’ clock shadow against Victor’s lips sent a flood of desire from sternum to heel, and Victor was done being surprised.
He threw one arm around Johnny’s neck and smashed their mouths closer together, which Johnny responded to with equal force and enthusiasm by sliding one hand across Victor’s ass and grabbing a handful.
Victor moaned in Johnny’s mouth and started yanking Johnny’s tucked shirt from inside his belt.
The hand kneading Victor’s ass started to swing around to the front, and just before he could clasp onto Victor’s crotch, Victor’s brain pulled the fire alarm and ground every cognitive function to a halt.
Fuck. He hadn’t told Johnny about the trans thing, had he?