CHAPTER 16
By the time October rolled around, Victor’s relationship with Johnny was still strained, at best. They’d share some minor chit-chat during the times that Taylor was passed between them but Victor was still bitter and heartbroken, and Johnny was unrepentant, so no strides were made toward reconciliation.
Victor felt some resentful thrill in seeing Johnny’s disappointment whenever Victor rejected any of his attempts at making amends.
He wanted Johnny to feel the pain Johnny’s rejection had caused, and so far Victor remained unsatisfied.
Instead of apologizing, Johnny withdrew, enough that Mike started delivering Taylor instead.
The man was a black void of personality, so Victor only spoke to him as much as he had to in order to conduct business.
In the meantime, there were still horse shows to attend and two-year-olds to break, so Victor focused on that instead.
He drove out to Norman, Wichita, and Joplin for clinics and shows, and he brought whatever students had the time and money to join him.
No matter how men treated him, Victor could rely on horses to provide an uplifting distraction.
The most popular clip was the one Victor avoided until he could no longer resist. This was the recording of the ride that ended Johnny’s career, and if Victor had better self-control, he would have avoided it altogether.
But he had to tap it. The clip started as they all did, with Johnny preparing himself in a shoot as the horse beneath him twitched and shifted nervously.
Then the shoot flew open, and out the horse leapt, this one a huge gray with feet the size of plates and a neck and face obscured by a tangled, unkempt mane.
The ride lasted all of three seconds, because the horse twisted and bucked to one side with supernatural speed, unseating Johnny just before lashing out with its rear legs and catching Johnny’s face on its way down to the ground.
The horse took off upon landing, bucking with abandon.
Meanwhile, Johnny was spread eagle in the dirt, and when he lifted his head, his whole face was dripping with blood.
He staggered to his feet, then immediately fell to his knees, holding his gushing head with a hand.
The medical team rushed to him, which seemed to be the time he passed out, because he didn’t move at all after that.
Victor turned off his phone and set it aside, gut twisting.
He shouldn’t have watched it. If he’d seen it without knowing how it ended, he would have thought he witnessed someone’s death.
Johnny mentioned having to learn to walk again.
It was incredible and stupid that he was still willing to climb onto a horse’s back.
How could he be so stubbornly committed to this thing that nearly got him killed, but any attempt at a life with Victor was too much struggle?
He looked at Johnny’s last text to him, which was just a notification that he was bringing Taylor by.
Victor didn’t have many photos of him, let alone photos of them together.
His words were most of what he had. They bounced around his skull like a song he could only half-remember.
He wrote out a text knowing he wouldn’t send it.
Watched some clips of your rides on YouTube.
I don’t know why you would voluntarily do that to yourself, but there are a lot of things I wish I knew better about you.
I wish… Victor paused, tongue pressed between his lips.
What the hell. He wasn’t going to send it anyway.
I wish you cared about me as much as I care about you.
With a sigh, Victor added the text to his drafts and decided to go to sleep. He had a long day tomorrow.
* * *
Victor had just stepped out of the shower when he heard his phone go off. Slinging a towel around his waist, he went to his bedroom and looked at the caller. Johnny. His stomach quivered as he picked up.
“Yeah?”
“Viiiiiiiic,” came Johnny’s reply, slurred and low. “Heya, Vic.”
Victor sighed. “Why are you calling me?”
“I need—” Johnny burped slightly. “I need ya ta do somethiforme.”
“Like what?”
“Drive me home. Too drunk.”
Victor sighed, rubbing at his forehead. He heard the rain pounding down outside, and the temperature had dropped to nearly freezing.
It wasn’t weather he wanted to drive in, but he also feared what would happen if Johnny got behind the wheel of a car.
Instead of arguing, he said, “Okay. Where are you at?”
“Smokey’s.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“Mmm, thankya verrry much.” Then Johnny hung up.
Smokey’s was the bar Victor had gone to months ago to get drunk after learning of his ex-fiancé’s engagement.
Victor threw on some jeans and a T-shirt, shoved his bare feet into a pair of boots, and headed out into the rain as he pulled on his waterproof work coat.
The weather was atrocious, and Victor feared that if it got any colder, it’d start turning into freezing rain.
His truck was bad on ice if it wasn’t weighed down in the back.
This made his trip slow going. Finally he saw Smokey’s roadside sign in the distance, and he found the parking lot mostly empty.
But Johnny’s truck was there, its cab dark.
It made Victor feel better that Johnny hadn’t decided to drive off without him.
Victor headed into the bar, which, like the parking lot, was mostly empty. Johnny’s unmistakable lanky form was bent over the bar, with Kevin standing nearby watching over him.
“You here for this guy?” Kevin asked, gesturing toward Johnny. The man had a voice carved by many years of cigarette usage.
“Yeah.”
Johnny lifted his head slightly and turned to look at Victor, eyes bloodshot and face slack with inebriation.
Victor handed Kevin a ten dollar bill as a tip for babysitting, then shoved his hands under Johnny’s armpits and hoisted him up.
Johnny barely said a thing beyond grunting in protest as Victor dragged him outside.
Victor had trouble hoisting him up into the truck.
Johnny slapped the sides of the truck a few times before he found the handles on the inside of the door, then let out a whine of effort as he thrust himself headfirst into the cabin.
He landed halfway across the center console.
It was up to Victor to move his legs around and get him situated like a toddler trying on pants for the first time.
Finally, once Johnny was safely ensconced in the front seat, Victor rounded the truck and hopped in.
Any exposed skin was wet and frozen. He blasted the heater as he turned around in the parking lot.
“You’ll have to tell me where you live,” Victor said.
“Mmm, wha?”
“Where you live, Johnny.”
“Oh. Um. Five. Uhhhh. Five-three—is that it? Oh wait no, Five-two-four High Creek road.”
With a roll of his eyes, Victor plugged the address into his phone. Once he had the route, he pulled onto the road, the only sound being the squeaking of his windshield wipers and the pounding of rain on the roof.
Johnny was silent for half the ride. Eventually he grabbed at Victor’s coat sleeve and jerked on it while also gesturing to the door. Victor pulled off the road, and Johnny got the door open just in time to vomit outside of the truck.
After throwing up a few times, Johnny seemed a little more coherent. After they pulled back onto the road, Victor felt Johnny staring at him.
“What?” Victor asked.
“You still mad at me?” Johnny asked.
“I’m not mad at you.”
Johnny’s forehead thunked against the window. “You are.”
Victor decided not to fight him on it but didn’t respond.
“You hate me,” Johnny whimpered like a petulant child.
“I do hate that you made me drive in this weather to come get you. Don’t you ever think this through?”
“No.” Johnny wobbled a bit, then buried his face in his hands. “Don’t wanna think.”
“Just… just sit there and rest, okay? We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Johnny fell quiet, but he was still looking at Victor, and Victor found it vaguely irritating. However, he refused to look back. If Johnny thought he could just look at him with those puppy dog blue eyes and win some forgiveness, he had another thing coming.
“Can we still be friends?” Johnny asked after a long silence.
Victor sighed. “Yeah, of course.”
“I want us to still be friends.”
“Okay.”
“Had a lotta friends,” Johnny muttered, finally turning away. “Not many these days.”
“Maybe they got tired of dragging your drunk ass home.”
Johnny didn’t react; his eyes were closed. Hopefully he’d pass out and he wouldn’t remember any of this.
Victor almost missed the driveway, as it was dark and somewhat hidden behind heavy brush. When the tire hit a dip in the gravel, Johnny jerked awake and immediately grabbed Victor’s coat sleeve again.
“Stop!”
Victor hit the brakes. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Let me out here.”
“Are you crazy? It’s pouring down rain out there and you can’t even walk.”
“I’ll figure it out.” Johnny fumbled for the door latch but couldn’t find it. Victor got the truck rolling again and grabbed a handful of Johnny’s coat to pull him away from the door.
“I’m taking you to your front door,” Victor said matter-of-factly.
“No, I’ll walk.” Johnny renewed his search for the door latch and finally found it. But the door was locked because they were in drive, and in the dark Johnny couldn’t seem to find out how to unlock it.
“Would you just behave?” Victor snapped, not sure what the hell got Johnny so feral. “Christ, what is wrong with you?”
“Unlock the door.”
“I’m taking you to the front door,” Victor repeated.
“Please don’t.”