Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Knox
“ T rev, why do you always ask for medium spice, when you can barely handle mild? I’m the one who has to sit across from you while you eat.”
He smiles around a mouth full of food.
“It’s a struggle to get my food down, what with your bald ass head sweating and snot running down your nose. You’re in pain, dude. How is that enjoyable?”
“It’s the good kind of pain.” He hisses a breath through his teeth. “You know?”
“You’re a mess, man.”
I toss a fresh napkin in his direction. Once again, I’m eating Thai food alone in my suite with my manager. The rest of the band is with their families. So, here we are.
Dinner with Trevor isn’t a hardship, though.
I love the guy. He’s given up a lot to be a part of the Hollow Knocks, including two wives.
He hasn’t met the woman he can put first on his list yet.
The band always holds the top spot. Everything and everyone comes second.
Here’s hoping he’ll have better luck once this tour is over.
What I’m going to do or who I’ll be after all of this is still a mystery, but I know I’ll be spending a lot more time back home in Goose Hollow. In what capacity or how often, I’m not sure, but I’m going to make it a priority.
He sops up the sweat on his head and wipes his nose before taking a powerful pull from his EBC, a beer from Eastlyn, Oregon, which is a neighboring town to ours. We were stoked to bring Eastlyn on as the official beer of the tour. We’re proud to represent home any chance we get.
“You haven’t met with Ryan yet.”
“Nope.”
“She’s been on the road with us for two weeks now.”
“No shit. It’s like we’ve added a fifth member to the band. She’s fucking everywhere, dude.”
She is fucking everywhere.
Hanging with the kids. At dinner, where I seat myself at the opposite end of the table.
Never across from her. Always doing my best to avoid the risk of eye contact.
If only I could master not looking at her.
Especially at the damn gym in her tiny tight shorts and sports bras running on the treadmill.
She runs four miles every day. She’s a monster in the gym, and my workouts have been suffering from the distraction of her.
“You’re the only asshole who seems to have an issue with her.”
I shrug in reply. Hoping if I don’t engage further, we can change the subject.
“Knox, respectfully... get over yourself. I know you have some seriously messed up stuff to deal with right now, and I get that things are changing with your career. But, dude, your mood is impacting the band. You’re alienating everyone, but the kids.
” He throws his napkin on the table, sitting back in his chair.
“Yes, you’re physically present, but you’re not really here.
You need to find some way to compartmentalize the shitshow you’ll deal with at the end of August and what’s happening right now.
This might be it. The last time you get to do this with them.
They’ve been your best friends since grade school.
You can trust them to listen. Hell, in this situation, they’re likely to have much better advice than I can give you. ”
What he says is true. Of course, I can trust them. I would trust them with my life, but I’m not ready to trust them with my shame. How do I look them in the eyes only to watch all their respect for me fade away? Mia’s given me a choice and I’ve been too chickenshit to make the right one.
“Eventually.”
“Well, until then, get your shit together. Be the asshole we all know and love and not this new Eeyore brand of asshole none of us recognize. And for the love of all that’s holy, be nice to Ry.
She’s doing her job. A job we asked her to do.
Please remember that. At the rate you’re going, she’s going to title her first piece ‘Grumpy Old Man.’”
“Shut up. I’m not that bad.”
My manager and lifelong friend stands to leave. “You are that bad.” He stops short of the door to my suite. “Team meeting tonight. I’m sure she’ll be there.”
“Of course she will. She’s fucking everywhere.”
“You already said that.”
“Suck a thousand dicks. ”
“Dude, she’s writing a bio on. The. Band.
And you’re the star of the show. You owe her your time.
The sooner you get to it, the sooner you’ll realize she’s pretty fucking cool and you can start treating her like one of us, because she’s not going anywhere.
I’m putting you on her calendar for Monday. ”
With that, Trevor leaves me at the table in what feels like a time-out to think about what I’ve done. Or in this case, what I haven’t done. At least he’s given me a reprieve and I can put off time alone with her for another few days.
“Team meeting. 8pm. Sean’s room,” he reminds me again as he walks out of the room. His way of saying I don’t have a choice.
I’ll be there and so will she.