Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Ryan
G rowing up, I dreamt of what it would be like to be on the road with my favorite bands.
I pictured late nights, drunken debauchery, and outright naughtiness.
Experiences my mom wouldn’t want me anywhere near.
Yet, the “Hollow Knocks Goodbye Tour” is anything but.
Sure, show nights are late with some drinking, but there is no debauchery to speak of.
I took a six am flight this morning and landed a couple hours ago.
It’s the band’s last night in Washington D.C.
and we’re all gathered for soundcheck. All seven kids are taking advantage of the open arena floor.
Some wear sound-blocking helmets, others have on ear protection that looks like headphones.
Connor and Nick are racing scooters, Anna and Ben are riding bikes while Hannah and Megan zoom in between them on their roller skates, which I had no clue were in style again.
Even Dominic, who’s playing catch with Jennifer, has wheels in his sneakers.
There isn’t a wheel free kid in the bunch.
The guys have made their way to the stage where they’re having a meeting. They haven’t touched their instruments, too deep in conversation.
What do bands talk about before they start what has to be their millionth soundcheck?
The set list? Was someone off at the last show?
Issues between the bandmates? Or are they simply shooting the shit like the old friends they are?
I might have to find my way into one of these meetings before it’s all said and done to discover the answer for myself. What can I say? I’m nosey.
After tightening the strap on her youngest’s helmet, Kristen, Matt’s wife, joins me in the middle of the arena where bean bag chairs and kids’ backpacks are scattered about.
The family atmosphere in this group is something to be admired.
I’ve been around a lot of bands and this is not the norm.
The wives and kids go nearly everywhere the guys do.
Trevor and Knox may not have any kids of their own, but it’s obvious they’ve both perfected the uncle role.
There is the family you’re born into and then there’s the family you choose. Anyone who gets to be part of this family should count themselves lucky.
“Welcome to another day in concrete paradise,” Kristen says, opening her arms wide to the building that will host over twenty thousand Hollow Knocks fans later this evening.
“Hey, Kristen. Happy show day.”
Marie holds her hands up to Kristen, who braces herself and pulls her out of the pink bean bag chair she’s sitting in.
“ Damn, that was harder than it should have been. Don’t let me near one of those things again.
They suck you in and don’t let go. Or, I’m just getting old and everything is harder than it used to be. ”
“I think it’s the last one,” Jennifer chimes in from a few feet away before throwing the ball to Dom. Then she joins us bringing along an oversized gift bag with her.
Marie sticks her tongue out at her friend, then she taps Kristen’s water bottle with her own before each taking a sip. “Wine,” Marie admits, letting me in on their little secret. “You’ve been to one soundcheck, you’ve been to them all.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind, thanks.”
“So, we got you a little something,” Jennifer chirps, holding up her bag.
“What? Something for me?”
The three women are beaming in my direction and it’s infectious. My face feels like it’s about to split in two, but I have no idea what in the world they could have gotten me.
“So, we know you have your spot at the soundboard with Roger every night during the show,” Kristen explains, and for a moment I worry the sweet sound engineer has a problem with me invading his space.
“But we agreed that now that you’ve seen the show from that vantage point, you might learn more about the band if you were sitting backstage. ”
“Okay…”
Marie jumps in. “So, we got you a little something to make your nights more comfortable!” She’s bouncing with excitement.
“Turn around,” Jennifer asks, the smile in her voice as bright as the one on her face .
I do as instructed, listening to the quiet commotion behind me, but clueless as to what they’re up to.
“Okay, you can look now!” Marie sings.
My chest tightens and my belly fills with a warm and fuzzy feeling when I see a director’s chair, with “She’s a big deal!” on the back of it.
It’s thoughtful. It’s sweet and silly. It’s perfect.
“You three are too sweet. I absolutely love it!”
“It will be perfect on the side of the stage. From there you can see all the activity behind the scenes, the band, and the crowd. It’s the best spot for you to get a true picture of what goes into the show,” Kristen explains.
“Seriously, this means the world to me that you would think of something like this. Thank you so much.”
Thanking each of them individually with a hug they insist I try it out. They even make me look over my shoulder so they can take pictures of me with the “She’s a big deal!” stitched into the canvas.
I’m not sure they’ll ever realize how much their kind gesture warms my heart. Everyone on this tour is a member of the Hollow Knocks family and the girls have made sure to make me feel like I am too. I’m not sure how I got so lucky.
Jennifer has just taken her last photo when our focus is diverted.
“Joann’s here with the baby,” Marie says, stepping away to greet the woman approaching with a young boy, who must be four or five, and a baby in her arms.
“That’s Roger’s wife,” Kristen explains.
I watch as Marie takes the baby out of Joann’s arms and returns to us .
“Thought I would give her a bit of a break and get my baby fix before my ovaries explode.”
“So. Truth time, Ryan. How are things going with the guys?” Kristen inquires.
“Fine, I guess.”
“But…?” Marie asks.
“Knox is still avoiding me. I don’t mind earning his trust, but I’m not sure I can when he won’t even speak to me. Not that I know why.”
“Off the record?” Marie asks.
“Of course.”
“We’ve all noticed the cold shoulder he’s giving you. Please don’t take it personally. It’s not you. Something happened a couple months back. Couldn’t tell you what, but it’s got to be something serious. He’s changed and I’m not sure if it’s for the good or bad. Maybe a bit of both?”
She moves in closer, bouncing the little one on her hip, turning so the stage is behind her as if Knox can read her lips and will know she’s talking about him.
“Everything was going great, and he was stoked about a video call scheduled with his brother, Angus. Something must have happened during the call because he bailed on rehearsal for several days, and he hasn’t been the same since.
Hasn’t told any of the guys what happened, so it’s likely family stuff. ”
Connor walks by, quieting the conversation until he passes.
“His usual MO when something is wrong is to get a little too drunk, which leads to him spewing stupid stuff we know he doesn’t mean.
This time has been different. I’m not sure I’ve seen him do more than sip a beer since that call with Angus.
If I were to guess, he’s had his world wrecked and needs help.
If he doesn’t want to talk to the guys or even us, then he needs to talk to someone.
” She turns her attention back to the stage.
“All I know is I’m not the one to suggest he talk to a therapist. Nope. ”
“Thank you for telling me,” I say, looking toward the stage. “I’ve been so confused by his reaction to me being here, but I get it now. If there is something going on in his personal life, a journalist following him around is likely the last thing he wants.”
“Enough about boys. How was your trip home? You stayed with your sister, right?” Kristen says, changing the subject.
“I did. It was good to see her and my niece and nephew. I helped in her coffee shop like the old days.” I don’t mention that Becks and her husband are barely speaking to each other.
Abe is apparently tired of sharing her with the kids, the shop, and the family.
She does everything for everyone, and he’s sick of not being at the top of her very long list of people and things to take care of.
“How was your mom’s party?” Jennifer asks.
“It was good. There was a big turnout. I swear most of the town was there. Most importantly, I got to see my grandpa while I was there.”
“How’s he doing?” Kristen and Marie ask simultaneously.
“I lucked out, he was having a good day when I was there. It’s been hard though. I feel bad that my mom and Becks have to watch him get worse every day. I can tell it’s taking its toll on them.”
“Didn’t you say the family recently moved him into a new care facility? ”
“We did. They’re taking great care of him. Luckily, it’s only twenty-minutes out of town.”
I don’t mention how expensive his care facility is, or that I took this job to pay for it. They don’t need to know that this wasn’t a dream gig for me. I will always care about the quality of my work and I’ll never half-ass anything, but the truth is... I’m here for the money.