29 #2
“Truly?” She stood up, too. “There are those kinds of talks.”
“Dathor’s ramblings did have an effect, I think,” said Hathrak.
“Perhaps, before he came to Bilkwood, no one had any notion of what they thought might happen after we invaded the capital. But he forced us all to think of it. It is going to be something. But the orc army will remain present in Lothnehil, and there will be a place for you.”
She smiled at him. “Thank you, beloved. For speaking for me.” She was grateful, truly, she was. It was only…
Well, it was nothing.
This was likely the best thing that could have happened. She should have appealed to Hathrak right away. If she had ever thought of him as really her brother, perhaps she would have, but she had not, truly. She had practically forgotten he existed, and she had assumed he had forgotten about her.
“I wish I had thought of you more, beloved,” he said to her.
“I’m afraid, after we parted ways, I did not think much at all of you until I heard you had deserted, and then I wondered about you.
But even so, it was not until I heard you were being offered up to me that I did anything.
I did not look for you. I did not send anyone else to find you.
I am not what you would want from family. ”
“It’s all right,” she said. “I can take care of myself.”
“Well, we will break camp in the morning and shift direction. We are heading to Matlinrir next to see if we can get them to leave that city to us. But I will send someone with you to the capital, along with a missive for our father. Yes?”
“Oh, I cannot stay with you, with the army?”
“I must follow protocol, I think,” said her brother. “If I did not, it might look as if I was harboring you and protecting you from punishment as a deserter. We both know you are not, and our father will know, too. But it is best to do things properly, I think.”
She could see why he would say that, she supposed.
Well, a letter from Hathrak would likely smooth everything over.
As she went back to her tent, she tried to convince herself this was the best way for things to have turned out. She had nowhere to go, after all, and here she would be useful. She only wished she could have stayed with Hathrak, really. Perhaps she could request to be assigned with his brigade.
Yes, that was likely the best thing that might come of all of this.
Back in her tent, however, she realized she wasn’t alone.
“Iahir,” she said. “How did you get here?
“I came to rescue you,” he said, crawling out of the shadows where he’d been crouched. “But then I saw that the orcs had beaten me to that. Very sorry about my crazy brother, by the way. But you seem to be all right? They are not punishing you?”
“It is my half brother who commands this brigade,” she told him. “He is going to intervene on my behalf, and I will not be punished.”
“Good,” said Iahir. “Good, then you’ll be all right. For I must go back to Cirlahir. After seeing this, the mess that is everything, my father and my brother cannot protect the city. I have a responsibility, and I must see it through. But I’m sure you could see that it was no place for you.”
She had seen that. With Iahir, it would be a life hidden away, fearing that she would be killed or abused by the elves. She could not have stayed there. “So, this is the end for us, isn’t it?”
He let out a breath. “I should ask, I suppose, if you don’t mind, if your army is going to honor the deal my brother made. Since they have you, will they cease their attack.”
“They were never going to attack,” she said. “It was a bluff.”
“As my father said.” Iahir sighed. “But that is good to know, I suppose. I’m sorry for what my brother did to you, especially since it was for no reason.”
“It’s all right,” she said. “It was not your fault.”
“I wish…” Iahir closed the distance between them. “I wish everything was different.”
She tilted her head back to look into his eyes.
He was just a little taller than her. “So do I,” she breathed.
Maybe she’d wanted this insurrection against the elves in order to change things, but in certain ways, it seemed as if everything was worse now.
She didn’t regret it. How could she regret standing up against the people who had oppressed the orcs?
But, even so, she felt a certain kind of sorrow for all that had been destroyed.
“I do love you, Gathren,” he murmured, gazing into her eyes. “If there was a way for us to be together—”
“But there isn’t,” she breathed. “And I love you, too.”
Their lips met.
The kiss was gentle, slow, sweet. It was a goodbye.
She wanted to pull him closer, to kiss him longer. She wanted to be with him again, like that time when they’d made love and it had gone on and on and there had been all those various ledges of pleasure she’d found, and she had felt lost to him. She wanted that again.
However, she knew she could not make love to him here in the orc army encampment. It was madness to kiss him for too long. She pulled back.
His eyes were still closed.
“If they find you here, it will not be a good thing,” she said softly.
He opened his eyes. “No, I know. I only wanted… I could not let you go and not say anything to you at all. I needed you to know that I looked for you, that I worried, that I cared.”
“It’s good,” she said. “I am glad of it, for this. But it’s a risk. You shouldn’t be here. How will we sneak you out?”
“Oh, give me some credit, warrioress. I was trained as a guard. I can be stealthy.”
He could. She knew that.
She touched his cheek.
He touched hers as well.
“Well,” he said.
She was going to cry. Would she never see him again? “Things will settle down,” she said finally.
“They must,” he agreed. “In a few months time.”
“Well, in a few years, at any rate,” she said. “And you will be at Cirlahir? So, I can seek you there?”
He nodded. “I will.”
But he would likely be married, she supposed. He had talked about the sort of woman he had to marry, and it wasn’t her, and then she’d have to be his mistress, and she… “So, I will find you. This isn’t goodbye forever.”
He gave her a sad smile, as if he knew she was lying, lying to him, lying to herself, lying to them both. “Not goodbye forever at all. Just a pause.”
“A pause,” she said.
“Until then, warrioress.”
“Until then, my lord.”