Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The training yard smelled like blood and iron.
Khorrek stood in the shadow of the east wall and watched two of his brothers spar. Their movements were precise. Brutal. Exactly as they’d been taught.
Weapons. That’s what Lasseran made us.
The thought came easier now, without the immediate, crushing weight of betrayal. Because betraying Lasseran wasn’t betrayal at all. It was survival.
He’d left Thea in the library an hour ago.
She’d barely noticed his departure, too absorbed in the ancient text and the patterns she’d been mapping since dawn.
Her excitement had been palpable. He was sure she was close to something—the question was if she’d find it in time.
They only had one more day for her to provide Lasseran with answers.
His hand throbbed. The bandages Thea had wrapped around it last night were stained red. He’d hit the wall until bone showed through. He’d wanted to feel something other than the crushing helplessness. It hadn’t worked. But being with her had changed everything.
The sparring match ended with one orc pinned, and the other standing over him with a practice blade at his throat. They reset, and went again.
He scanned the yard looking for Declar. Lasseran kept the orcs from his age group separated.
He assigned them different duties and different missions to keep them from forming bonds that might threaten his control.
It had worked. They exchanged the occasional nod of acknowledgment when they passed in the halls, but friendship? Trust?
Those were weaknesses Lasseran had beaten out of them years ago. Except it didn’t take, not completely. There was still something. A kinship born from shared suffering. From being the only ones who truly understood what they’d survived.
I’m betting everything on that kinship being stronger than thirty-five years of conditioning.
“Looking for someone?”
He turned to find Declar standing behind him. He was shorter than Khorrek but broader, built like a stone wall given life and malice. His tusks were filed to sharp points, and his armor bore fresh scars.
“I was looking for you,” he said.
“Figured. You’ve been lurking like a shadow for the past hour.” Declar’s eyes narrowed. “What do you want?”
“To talk.”
“We don’t talk. Lasseran doesn’t like it when we talk.”
“Lasseran isn’t here.”
“His eyes are everywhere.”
True enough. The palace had servants, guards, a hundred people who might report anything unusual—including orcs having actual conversations.
“Walk with me,” he said.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because I have information you need to hear.”
Declar studied him suspiciously. Good. That wariness kept him alive until now.
“Fine. But this better be worth it.”
They walked, not speaking. Just two orcs moving through the palace grounds. To any casual observer, they’d look like warriors on patrol. He led them to the outer walls, to a section where the guards rotated every hour, and where conversations could be had without immediate oversight.
“Talk,” Declar said. “And make it quick.”
“Lasseran is planning a ritual.”
“So? He’s always planning rituals.”
“This one requires orc sacrifices.”
Declar’s expression didn’t change. “How many?”
“At least four, and perhaps more.”
“And he wants you to choose them.”
Not a question. Declar understood immediately.
Because he knows how Lasseran operates. How he uses us against each other.
“Yes.”
Declar turned away and stared out over the city. Kel’Vara stretched below them. Stone and shadow. Wealth and poverty pressed together. A monument to Lasseran’s power.
“When?”
“Two weeks. The next full moon—the Blood Moon.”
Silence.
The wind picked up, carrying the smell of smoke from the lower districts.
“You’re lying,” Declar said finally.
“I’m not.”
“Why would he waste resources like that? We’re valuable. Trained. Loyal.”
“Because he doesn’t see us as valuable. He sees us as expendable.” He moved to stand beside him. “Tools to be used and discarded when they’re no longer useful.”
“That’s not—”
“Yes it is. You know it is.”
Declar’s jaw clenched, his hands gripping the wall hard enough that the stone cracked.
“He raised us. Trained us. We’re his personal guard.”
“And when he needs power, we’re also the perfect sacrifice. Orcs he controls completely, who won’t run and won’t resist. Who won’t even question the order to walk to our deaths.”
The words hung between them. Declar’s breathing was harsh. Uneven.
“This is a test,” he said. “Lasseran sent you to test my loyalty.”
“No.”
“You’re trying to turn me against him.”
“I’m trying to save your life. And the lives of our brothers.”
“We’re not brothers. We’re weapons. That’s what he made us.”
Khorrek grabbed Declar’s arm, and forced him to turn. He met those dark eyes and saw the same devastation he felt reflected back.
“We’re both. Weapons and brothers. And I won’t let him kill us without a fight.”
Declar stared at him, and then his shoulders slumped. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
“Fight him. Disobey. Even thinking about it makes me—” Declar’s hand went to his chest.
The chains. The conditioning. Khorrek knew that pain. He’d felt it himself every time he’d questioned an order. Until last night. Until Thea had looked at him and told him he was more than what Lasseran had made him.
“It gets easier,” he said quietly.
“Does it?”
“The first break is the hardest. After that, the chains start to crack.”
“And then what? We’re free? We suddenly become something other than monsters?”
“Maybe. Or maybe we just become ourselves.”
Declar laughed, bitter and broken. “We don’t have selves. We have programming—thirty-five years of being told exactly what we are.”
“And what if that’s a lie?”
“It’s not a lie. It’s the truth. I’ve seen what we do. What I did when Lasseran gave me an order.”
“I know. I’ve done the same things.”
“Then you know there’s no coming back from that. No redemption. No second chance.”
He wanted to argue, to tell Declar that he was wrong, but the words stuck in his throat. Declar was right—they’d done terrible things, things that couldn’t be undone.
We’re monsters. Both of us. All of us.
But maybe monsters could still choose to stop being monstrous.
“There’s a human woman,” he said. “In the palace. Lasseran brought her here to translate an ancient text.”
Declar’s expression didn’t change. “So?”
“So she looked at me and saw something other than a monster. Something worth…” He trailed off, unsure how to put it into words.
“Worth what? Saving? Redeeming?”
“Choosing.”
That got a reaction. Declar’s eyes widened. “You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“Lasseran will—”
“I don’t care what Lasseran will do. Not anymore.”
Declar stepped back, looking at him as if he’d grown a second head. “You’ve lost your mind.”
“Maybe. Or maybe I’ve finally found it.”
“This is insane. Suicidal.”
“Probably.”
“And you’re telling me this why? Because you think I’ll help you?”
“I’m telling you because you deserve to know, you and the others, that Lasseran is planning to kill us, but we have a choice.”
“We don’t have a choice. We’ve never had a choice.”
“We do now.”
Declar turned away, pacing back and forth. His hand kept going to his chest, pressing against the invisible chains.
“I can’t,” he said finally. “I can’t go against him. Even knowing what he’s planning, I can’t.”
“Then don’t. Not yet. Just… think about it. Question the next order he gives you. See what happens.”
“What happens is I die.”
“Or you live. Actually live instead of just existing as his weapon.”
Declar stopped pacing and stared at him.
“There’s something you need to know,” he said. “About the ritual.”
His stomach dropped. “What about it?”
“The orcs Lasseran used before—the test he did in the Old Kingdom with the orcs he turned into mindless predators.”
“What about them?”
“They’re all dead.”
He flinched.
“Dead how?”
“They killed each other. Tore themselves apart in the dungeons.” Declar’s voice was flat and emotionless. “The guards found them—there was nothing left but blood and bone.”
No.
“Lasseran ordered it?”
“No. They just… lost themselves. The blood lust took them completely. They couldn’t come back from it.”
The curse. Lasseran’s control had pushed them too far. Made them into what the curse was never supposed to create. Mindless beasts. And once that happened, there was no coming back.
“How many?” he asked.
“Six. All of them trained warriors. All of them loyal.”
“And now they’re dead because Lasseran needed power.”
“Or because the curse broke them.”
“The curse didn’t break them. Lasseran did.”
Declar met his eyes. “You’re sure about that?”
“I’m sure that Lasseran doesn’t care what happens to us as long as he gets what he wants. Power. Control. Dominion over everything.”
“And you think this woman can stop him?”
“I think she’s trying. Which is more than anyone else has done.”
Declar was quiet for a long moment, and then he nodded slowly and reluctantly. “I’ll spread the word. Carefully.”
“Tell them they don’t have to make a choice yet. Just… be aware. Be ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“I don’t know yet. But something. Anything other than walking to our deaths without question.”
“You’re asking a lot.”
“I know.”
“This could get us all killed.”
“We’re already marked for death. At least this way, we die making our own choices.”
Declar gave a harsh laugh. “You sound like one of those Norhaven orcs. All honor and freedom.”
“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”
“It’s a terrible thing. Honor gets you killed and freedom is a lie. Survival is all that matters.”
“Then survive. But do it on your own terms.”
Declar shook his head, but he didn’t argue further.
“I’ll talk to the others. But if this goes wrong—”
“It won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No. But I’m choosing to believe it anyway.”
Declar studied him. “You really care about this human.”
“Yes.”
“Even though she’s not—”
“She’s everything. And I won’t let Lasseran use her or hurt her or turn her into another one of his tools.”
“Protective. That’s new for you.”
It was. He’d never felt protective of anyone before. He’d been trained to see attachment as weakness, but caring for Thea wasn’t weakness. It was strength.
“There’s something else,” Declar said. “About the humans in the lower districts.”
“What about them?”
“Lasseran’s been having us… encourage them to leave. Creating incidents. Making the city unsafe for anyone who’s not under his direct control.”
Khorrek’s hands clenched. “I know. I participated in some of those missions.”
“Three nights ago, he sent me to deal with a group of refugees. Families. Women and children. They’d been camped outside the east gate.”
“Deal with them how?”
“He didn’t specify. Just said to make sure they understood Kel’Vara wasn’t safe for them anymore.”
Which could mean anything from threats to slaughter.
“What did you do?”
Declar was quiet, his jaw working.
“I scared them. I showed them what an orc looks like when the Beast is close to the surface, and made sure they understood they needed to leave.”
“And?”
“And then I gave them supplies. Weapons. Told them which roads were safest. Which towns would take them in.”
Khorrek stared at him.
“You helped them.”
“I terrified them first. I traumatized children, and made mothers scream. That’s not help, that’s—”
“It’s better than killing them.”
“Is it? They’ll have nightmares for years. They’ll probably teach their children that orcs are monsters to be feared.”
“We are monsters.”
“I know. But I didn’t want to be. Not in that moment.” Declar’s voice cracked. “They were starving, Khorrek. Sick. One of the children couldn’t have been more than five. And Lasseran wanted me to—”
Declar stopped, his hands shaking.
“I couldn’t do it. I tried. I stood there telling myself they were just humans, and that their lives didn’t matter compared to my loyalty to the High King, but I couldn’t.”
“That’s not weakness.”
“It felt like weakness, felt like everything we were taught was wrong. Maybe we’re not supposed to be weapons after all.”
He put a cautious hand on the other male’s shoulder. “We were taught a lot of things. Most of them lies.”
“How do you know what’s lie and what’s truth?”
“I don’t. But I know what feels right. And helping those families felt right, didn’t it?”
Declar gave another reluctant nod. “Yes.”
“Then trust that. Even if everything else is uncertain, trust what feels right.”
“And if what feels right gets us killed?”
“Then at least we die as more than weapons.”
Declar pulled away, and wiped his face with the back of his hand.
“I’ll spread the word. Tell the others about Lasseran’s plans. About the choice.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. This could all blow up in our faces.”
“I know.”
“And if it does, if Lasseran finds out—”
“He won’t. Not yet. By the time he realizes what’s happening, it’ll be too late.”
“You sound confident.”
“I’m not. I’m terrified. But I’m also done being his tool.”
Declar studied him for a long moment, and then he clasped Khorrek’s arm. Warrior to warrior. Brother to brother.
“If we survive this, I want to meet this human of yours. See what kind of woman can make you betray thirty-five years of conditioning.”
“She’s brilliant. Stubborn. Completely fearless in the face of things that should terrify her.”
“So she’s insane.”
“Probably.”
“You fit each other then.”
Despite everything, he smiled. “Yeah. We do.”
Declar released his arm. “I need to go. Before someone notices we’ve been talking.”
“Be careful.”
“Always.”
Declar started to leave, then stopped and looked back.
“Khorrek?”
“Yes?”
“Those orcs. The ones who died in the dungeons. They were screaming at the end. The guards said it sounded like they were begging. Like part of them was still in there, trapped, watching themselves tear each other apart.”
The image made his stomach turn.
“I won’t let that happen to the rest of us.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Watch me.”
Declar’s laugh was hollow. “You really have lost your mind.”
“Probably. But I’d rather be insane and free than sane and enslaved.”
“Free. Is that what you think we’ll be?”
“I think we have a chance. That’s more than we had yesterday.”
Declar nodded. Then he was gone, disappeared into the shadows the way he’d been trained.
Khorrek stood alone on the wall. Six dead. Six warriors who’d survived everything only to be destroyed by Lasseran’s greed.
It won’t happen again. I won’t let it, he vowed, but the promise felt hollow.
What could he do? One orc against the High King’s power, and centuries of tradition and dark magic.
Not one orc. Declar would spread the word, and if anyone could find an answer, it would be his beautiful, brilliant mate.
He turned and headed back towards the palace.
Towards the library.
Towards Thea.