Chapter Six
CHAPTER SIX
Scarlett
I found the blades lying on my vanity table. They were thin and deathly sharp, sleek enough to be disguised as hair sticks.
My mother’s handiwork, no doubt – intended as a last line of defence. A timely one, considering Roran was returning tonight. But right now, I felt vengeful enough to use them without provocation.
‘Aella,’ I called, ‘come and help me get ready.’
The servant rushed across the tiled floor, her copper plait bouncing against her starched white uniform. Aella was the third attendant I’d had in as many months, but I had a good feeling about her. So far, she’d lasted two weeks without entering either of my siblings’ employ, which was a new record.
I still made sure to touch her hand before she reached for the knives. It was the work of a second to brush her skin and ensure she saw only generic hair sticks; the illusion was so subtle that even my mother would have admired my finesse.
But my satisfaction faded when Aella shuddered at my touch.
‘Are you cold, Your Highness?’ she asked, clasping her hands protectively in front of her.
‘Not at all,’ I said sharply. ‘Who could possibly be cold here ?’
As if to highlight my point, a balmy breeze drifted through my bedchamber, parting the gauzy curtains that hung over the balcony entrance. It did nothing to banish the chill in my bones.
Aella said nothing else as she arranged my hair into my preferred style: half-up and half-down, my dark red waves framing my face like a circlet of fire. I glanced in the vanity mirror, admiring the way the silver knives pierced my bun like skewers.
‘The crimson one,’ I ordered as Aella reached for the cluster of hanging gowns. ‘Has it been examined?’
It was probably lax of me to rely on Aella’s word, but I was tired of precautions and common sense. Besides, it was unlikely that my would-be poisoner would try to assassinate me the same way twice.
‘Yes, Your Highness. Each has been thoroughly inspected.’
That was all I needed to hear. I stepped into the gown, silk rustling softly against my skin. I’d once luxuriated in the feeling; it was a shame even that simple pleasure had been stripped from me. Now when I dressed, I was forever reminded of Aella’s dead predecessor, and her last moments spent writhing on the floor.
It took less than five minutes to add the finishing touches and step out of my chambers into the hallway beyond. Black-garbed Warriors were already waiting – two, as was customary – and they bowed their heads in respect.
I ignored them, lengthening my stride so they had to hurry to catch up.
Most visitors found the palace disorientating – a gilded maze, filled with soaring ceilings and a labyrinth of interconnecting hallways. As a child, I’d regarded it as a puzzle to be solved – exploring every inch of the place, including the secret passageways and underground tunnels.
Winding my way through the halls, I paused on the first level. My gaze went to the arched windows, where the distant glow of hundreds of fire braziers stood out against the black sky.
What fun would a simple dinner or dance be, to welcome home my brother, the conquering general? No. Only the very best for Roran, which meant the arena.
‘Leave me,’ I ordered.
The Warriors hesitated, but obeyed. I waited until the rattling of their armour faded before crossing over to a nearby balcony. Severin was waiting for me, his hair windswept – as if he had come straight from the harbour to the palace.
Light from the wall sconces bathed him in a reddish glow, reminding me of the first time I’d seen him. It had been in the gardens during a revel like the one unfolding below, and many ladies had been looking in his direction. But I hadn’t been admiring the way the torchlight played across his tattooed skin, illuminating his striking eyes and the sharp angles of his face. No – I had been drawn to the strength of his presence, to the confident way he held himself.
I’d never seen someone who kept themselves so separate from the court and appeared glad of it.
‘Radiant,’ Severin murmured, drinking me in. ‘You look radiant.’
‘I’m glad you like the dress,’ I replied.
‘I like more than that,’ he told me, striding closer. His inked lips brushed my cheek. ‘Are you alright?’
Without answering, I reached up and threaded my fingers through his ebony hair. I kissed him with a passion that he returned, walking backwards until my lower back hit the balustrade. It was deceptively easy to lose myself in the moment: in the unique, sandalwood scent of him, the way his tongue danced with mine.
Gods, even a single touch could ignite my frozen body, could make me feel—
Alive.
The thought was like a touch of ice, unpleasant and unwelcome. But I didn’t allow my mind to drift back to that horrible day, to remember what it had felt like to die.
Anchoring myself firmly in the present, I allowed my hands to roam Severin’s shoulders, his back, wanting to explore his bare chest. Wanting more of him. Always more.
Severin was more restrained, his skilled hands lightly brushing my neck, wary of upsetting my hair or makeup. All too soon, he was pulling away, and I moaned in frustration. I was tired of these stolen, secret moments; I wanted all of him.
Of course, it was entirely selfish of me. If we were caught, he would be the one who was punished, for daring to step above his station. Every time we met, we courted disaster. But—
‘I missed you,’ I admitted, and was surprised to realise just how much I meant it. Severin brought out a gentler side in me, one I barely recognised.
‘It was hard being away from you,’ Severin replied. ‘It always is.’
‘Well, it was certainly harder this time,’ I said, hating how petulant I sounded. ‘You shouldn’t have to go on those battle campaigns. You’re the head of an Order; my brother has plenty of other Artisans to inform his strategies. And Roran is . . .’
‘I know,’ Severin said. ‘I was careful.’
I rested my head against his shoulder, suppressing a sigh. How long would being careful matter?
Severin was the most powerful Artisan in existence, and the youngest person to head an Order. But rather than affording him protection, his power had turned him into a coveted resource. Emperor Kalias relied on Severin’s predictions to inform his political and battle strategies, while Zandri sent Severin on clandestine missions he was forbidden to speak about afterwards. My parents fought over him in a way they had never fought over me, and their tug-of-war would only end when they inevitably broke him.
‘Do you ever think about leaving all this behind?’ I asked abruptly. ‘You have reason to. You more than most.’
My comment veered dangerously close to uncomfortable territory. I’d never broached the subject before this, of what it had been like for Severin to grow up in Zigilia – only to end up serving the very people who had conquered his home. I’d never dared.
‘Emperor Kalias made it clear that if I betray him in any way, he will raze the Western Lands to the ground – and then there’s your mother. As you know, she has her ways of ensuring obedience within the Orders.’ Severin’s voice was carefully matter-of-fact, but I could hear the pain he kept hidden. ‘Is that what you would want? To leave this behind?’
It seemed heartless to tell him the truth: that I would never willingly leave the Ravalian Court. That what I wanted, more than anything, was to be a part of something he hated. To prove to my family and the court that I had what it took – not just to survive here, but to thrive .
‘It doesn’t matter what I want,’ I said at last. ‘Not really.’
‘It matters to me.’ The sincerity in his face was impossible to doubt. ‘I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy.’
I needed to mention my engagement to the governor. To explain the impossibility of my situation. But looking into his shining eyes, I couldn’t do it. ‘You already have.’
‘Then why do you look so sad?’
I leant into the warmth of his chest without answering. Even though it was a lie, when I was with Severin, I felt safe. Protected. The irony was unmistakable; I felt safe with him, yet he was the farthest thing from safe with me.
Changing the subject, I said, ‘Tonight was supposed to be for me, you know. I turned nineteen today.’
‘I hadn’t forgotten.’ Severin looked as though he was fighting back a smile. He probably thought me spoilt, but he’d never come right out and said so. ‘I bought you a present. It’s not much,’ he added quickly. ‘Nothing like the riches you’re used to, but I hope you’ll like it.’
‘I will love it,’ I corrected, ‘because it’s from you.’
Immediately, I regretted my choice of words. It was cruel of me to give him false hope, to pretend that this was anything more than a temporary arrangement.
We subsided into silence, and I avoided meeting Severin’s probing stare. This was one of the times when I was sorely tempted to discover what the future held for us. But he’d made me promise not to ask, and part of me always wondered if I’d like the answer.
So instead, I focused my attention over the balcony – towards the glowing circular arena beyond the palace. Just the sight of it helped to chase away my melancholy thoughts, making my blood quicken with anticipation.
‘Will you stay?’ I asked, hoping he would say yes. As exciting as the fighting matches were, they would be far more invigorating with Severin by my side.
‘I’ll escort you inside, but I won’t watch.’ His melodious voice was firm, decisive. ‘I don’t take much enjoyment in it.’
I blinked up at him. ‘Everyone enjoys the arena; that’s the point.’
‘I just think,’ he said quietly, ‘that life and death shouldn’t be a game.’ Before I could reply, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, making me shiver. ‘I’m leaving on a sea voyage tonight anyway – your mother has a mission for me to complete. But I couldn’t leave without giving you this.’
My gaze dropped to the teardrop necklace in his palm. It was beautiful, delicate, perfect .
‘It’s aquamarine,’ Severin said, holding up the stone. It winked at me even in the dim light. ‘When I looked at it . . . I was reminded of your eyes.’
‘I adore it,’ I breathed, unexpectedly touched. Most of the court had become accustomed to my changed appearance over time, but in the beginning, whispers had followed me everywhere. Even now, I sometimes noticed courtiers tracking my movements, or husbands steering their wives away from me – as if they somehow sensed I was unnatural. Severin was the only person who had never treated me any differently. Who had embraced me completely.
‘It’s not a ring,’ he continued, ‘but perhaps you can think of it as a promise. Because I want to be with you, Scar. There’s nothing I want more.’
I stared at him, wondering if he understood exactly what he was promising. He had to know marriage was out of the question; even without the Kalurian governor, Severin was too low-born for the emperor to consider. But would he really be content with this – stolen moments in the shadows, while in public I was another man’s wife?
As I pressed my face into his neck, breathing in the familiar sandalwood scent of him, I knew the answer. Whether it was in a day, a week, even a month from now, I would lose him.
I waited for the pain to hit, because surely I loved Severin. If there was anyone I loved, it would be him.
And yet, even at my most hopeless, I wasn’t human enough to cry. To shed even a single tear.