Chapter Thirty-Nine
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Scarlett
I had never asked my mother about the cost. But I knew there was one, because nothing in this world came without a price. Especially magic.
‘What are you going to do with it?’ I asked, staring down at the jewel pulsing in Zandri’s hand.
Though I kept my voice level, I knew my question stemmed from concern – genuine concern for my cousin, who I had nearly confessed everything to only an hour earlier. What had I been thinking ?
For a moment, I had allowed myself to get caught up in the ruse, to forget that my friendliness wasn’t real. Couldn’t be real.
Zandri braced her arms against the bench top, leaning too heavily to be natural. Her skin was paler than usual, another subtle sign of her fatigue. ‘I’ll put it in the cavern with the others,’ she said, and my eyes flickered towards the stairwell at the far side of the tower.
I’d never been down there before, to the catacombs that concealed the true power of the Ravalian Empire. But I could imagine it well enough: hundreds of blood rubies filling the space with their unearthly glow.
Something like envy stirred in my chest. My mother was powerful enough to be connected to all that magic: so long as she was close enough, she could channel it for her own use. Even a single blood ruby amplified my abilities – what would it be like to draw on them all?
‘Finally,’ Zandri commented. ‘I’ve been waiting years for you to show an interest.’
It wasn’t that I hadn’t been interested in magic. But my interest had always been tempered with wariness, much like my relationship with my mother. The difference was that I could no longer afford ignorance.
I folded my arms as I studied Zandri. I wanted to hate her. I should hate her – for her lies, her betrayal, her willingness to sacrifice me like a piece on a chessboard.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. Anger – oh, that came readily enough. But never hatred.
‘Severin told me your private test went well.’ Zandri smiled wryly. ‘Apparently, Kalias believes Sabine has a bright future as an Artisan.’
I didn’t smile back. ‘I can’t take credit for that. Severin told me what to say.’
‘Still, keeping the guise of Sabine alive was your plan,’ Zandri said, oddly magnanimous. ‘And your illusions made it possible. It seems they’re more useful than I thought. In fact, they might have given me the perfect idea for how to kill your father.’
I waited for Zandri to elaborate, but she didn’t. ‘Aren’t you going to tell me what that is?’
Zandri waved a dismissive hand. ‘I will. In time.’
She didn’t even bother to look at me, more focused on the blood ruby pulsing in her hand. I watched as she tilted it to the candlelight, examining Mira’s blood ruby with an admiration she had never shown me.
‘It seems you have everything thought out.’ The bitterness in my voice was obvious.
That bitterness caught Zandri’s attention. She slipped the blood ruby into a hidden sheath. ‘What do you want from me, Scarlett?’
‘I want to know that you think of me as a daughter. Not a pawn.’
Zandri smiled faintly as she approached me. ‘I’ve never thought of you as a pawn,’ she said, brushing my hair back from my face. ‘Always a queen.’
It was impossible to doubt her conviction. Her dark eyes speared into mine, filled with truth.
But I leant away, refusing to be won over so easily. ‘Then why were you willing to sacrifice me? You had the opportunity to stop Roran. You chose not to.’
‘I might not be a conventional mother,’ she said, ‘but everything I’ve done has been for you . To make you stronger, and to give you the best chance at survival.’
In other words, she had taken a calculated risk, based on the information Severin had provided.
A risk that had paid off.
But what if it hadn’t? I wanted to ask. What if I had died instead?
I swallowed down the words. I already knew the answer. It just wasn’t the answer I needed.
‘I’ve always known what I want, Scarlett.’ Zandri’s voice was soft, but it wasn’t weak. ‘Every decision I make is in service of that goal. The question is: what do you want?’
In that moment, all I wanted was to hurt my mother. To find a way of cutting into her unfeeling heart.
But what left my lips was: ‘I want to be empress.’
‘Then you will have to risk everything, in order to gain so much more. Just as I did when I allowed Roran to drown you in Kalure.’
She tapped a sharp fingernail against the bench top, and a bird soared through the open window. Settling on the table, the raven folded its wings and fixed me with its luminous dark eyes.
My mother stroked the raven’s feathers, her gaze never shifting from mine. ‘When you manage to harness your death magic, resurrection will be the least of what you can do. My hope is that you might eventually be able to kill with touch – and when you can, you won’t need to be afraid of your enemies. They will be afraid of you .’
I felt the pull of her words. More than anything, that was what I wanted: to never feel powerless or trapped again.
But I crossed over to the arched windows, staring unseeingly out over the palace grounds. Soon enough, they would belong to me – everything would belong to me. And to Zandri as well.
Would Zandri be any better than the emperor? Than Roran or Cassius?
Does the answer matter? a lilting, seductive voice replied – and the voice was mine. As long as Emperor Kalias lives, you will never be free. As long as he lives, you will never amount to anything.
And I realised that voice was right. I was right.
An alliance with Zandri was my best chance for a future free of my father and brothers. A future in which no one would ever look at me the way Governor Halvor had – like I was nothing. Less than nothing.
If I couldn’t win the court’s respect with mercy, then I would win it with fear.
The raven flew past me, so close that it ruffled my hair. As I watched it soar across the moonlit sky, something tugged at my chest. A distant, unexpected sense of exhilaration.
There was nothing I wouldn’t risk, I decided, if it meant I could feel the way that bird did. If it meant a chance at that same, thrilling sense of freedom.