Chapter Forty-Six
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Mira
I woke up to Lillian’s pale, tense face. To delicate hands, shaking me awake.
‘You need to get dressed,’ she told me quickly. ‘The court has been summoned to the arena.’
‘It’s not . . .’ It was a struggle to form a coherent sentence. ‘ I’m not . . .’
Lillian seemed to understand. She shook her head, blonde curls bouncing. ‘No! Sorceress no, Mira. You’re safe.’
I let out a ragged breath. Steeling myself, I climbed out of the four-poster bed and crossed over to the vanity beyond.
Taking a seat in front of the mirror, I met Lillian’s worried eyes. I didn’t want to know, but I had to ask. ‘Who is it?’
‘I’m not sure,’ she hedged. ‘It must be someone important, for the emperor to go to all this trouble.’
As Lillian fussed over my hair, my gaze went to the black combat outfit hanging in the wardrobe. There would be no dresses today, no extravagant jewels, and I realised that she was right. Whoever we were about to watch die was someone to the court.
Anxiety rushed through me as I thought of the arena, trying to imagine sitting placidly in the stands while—
‘Breathe, Mira,’ Lillian instructed. ‘You look like you’re about to be sick.’
‘I’m fine,’ I forced out between clenched teeth. But we both knew I wasn’t fine. Not even close.
She pinned the last of my thick braids without meeting my eyes. But I saw the way her gaze lingered on the ring Cassius had given me – the trace of resentment darkening her sweet features. It was horrible to realise that I had no idea what to say to her, how to fix this. She was my best friend in the world, but right now, there was a yawning chasm of distance between us.
‘All done,’ Lillian announced with a tight smile, rolling the remaining pins in her palm. It was a nervous gesture, and I had the sense she was debating whether to tell me something. At last, she said, ‘After your wedding, I’m going to leave the palace.’
It felt almost as if she’d struck me. ‘But . . . I need you. I need you here .’
‘You’ve made it quite clear that you don’t, Mira,’ Lillian said. ‘I can’t wait around for months or years, hoping for you to see reason. I’ve put my plans on hold long enough.’
‘What would you do?’
‘I’m going to open my own shop. I have enough funds stored away by now; if there’s one good thing about the palace, it’s that it pays well.’
‘I could offer you a position in the court,’ I said, twisting to face her. ‘You could become one of the noble ladies you used to admire. Or I could make you the official dressmaker – you’d have your own staff, your own quarters, and when you did eventually open a shop . . . people would flock to you from far and wide.’
‘You’re trying to buy me?’
‘I told you I needed you here, but that didn’t seem to matter. So now I’m trying to negotiate.’
Lillian stepped firmly away. ‘None of those things are yours to offer. Only the empress can make those kinds of decisions.’
‘Maybe I’ll be the empress soon enough,’ I retorted, standing as well.
It was the wrong thing to say.
‘What kind of deal did you make with him?’ Lillian asked, raising a horrified hand to her mouth. ‘What did you do , Mira?’
I folded my arms against my chest. ‘What I had to.’
She took another step back, as if she was afraid – afraid of me . ‘Aric was right. I don’t know who you are anymore.’
‘I’m the same person I’ve always been,’ I protested, hating the feeling that I was pleading with her. ‘I’m your friend.’
Lillian looked at me sadly. It had always been easy to read her thoughts, but right now, I wished I couldn’t see them so clearly.
‘You might look like the Mira I knew,’ she said, ‘but you’re not her. Not really. Revenge is twisting you into a person I can’t recognise, someone who uses other people and doesn’t care about the consequences.’
Anger surged through me, bitter and corrosive. ‘Don’t you think they deserve to pay? What would you have done if it was your mother they murdered?’
‘My mother wouldn’t have wanted me to destroy my life,’ Lillian answered quietly. ‘Neither would Kain or Aric. They would have wanted me to find some measure of peace and happiness, to put the past behind me.’
I laughed, but there was no humour in the sound. ‘Do you know what my mother told me before she died? She said, “You would have made an excellent Warrior, Mira. You would have made an even better ruler.” ’ My eyes bored into Lillian’s pale blue ones. ‘That doesn’t sound like someone who would have wanted me to give up.’
To her credit, Lillian didn’t flinch back from the bite in my voice. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘but is this the kind of leader she was talking about? You’re not plotting to liberate your people, Mira. You’re plotting to destroy your enemies.’
‘The Ravalians are their enemies too,’ I argued. ‘I’m doing this for them as well as myself.’
The doubt was clear on Lillian’s face. ‘Are you, Mira? Are you really doing it for them?’
I didn’t know the answer to her question. Or maybe . . . maybe I did.
I wasn’t sure which was worse.
Lillian’s posture was stiff as she moved towards the door. Then she hesitated, glancing over her shoulder. A flicker of vulnerability entered her eyes as she murmured, ‘I love you, Mira. I wanted you to be my sister one day.’
For a moment, I imagined a different ring on my finger – smaller, lighter, easier to bear. A different future – one based on love and trust, with Aric and Lillian filling the void my mother had left behind. But already Lillian was slipping out of the door – and as it closed,
I felt that future close along with it.
I didn’t have the chance to tell her that if our circumstances were different, I would have wanted that too.
It was fitting that my new life should begin with an execution.
In some ways, it felt like coming full circle. Except, instead of me down there, helpless and afraid, I was now one of those monstrous people watching from the stands. The ones who had cheered for my mother’s death, not so long ago. Who had cheered for mine.
Even the Warrior who ushered me through the massing crowds looked familiar, like he might have been one of the men who had escorted me from the dungeons. My eyes darted towards the lower section of the arena. I couldn’t see the cells from here, but I knew they were there.
Today of all days, it was crucial that I appeared calm. Obedient. Unaffected. But every step felt like walking over hot coals. Fighting in the Trials was one thing. Coming here like this . . . it was horrifying.
Then another thought occurred to me. What if it was Darius ?
No. No, that wasn’t supposed to happen until after my wedding. The emperor hadn’t wanted to taint the excitement, and no one cared too much about the death of one criminal from the Lower Districts.
‘Make way,’ a guard shouted. ‘Make way for the princess!’
I turned to see Scarlett approaching: a gleam of red in an ocean of black. She caught sight of me and paused, her gaze darting to the sparkling circlet resting on top of my dark hair. The physical embodiment of my new status.
‘Come with me,’ Scarlett said. ‘We are almost sisters, after all.’
I took Scarlett’s offered hand. Her skin was cold; it burned like ice.
‘There’s no need to look so concerned,’ she commented as we walked, people ducking their heads as we passed. ‘You should be pleased.’
I cast her a sideways glance, wondering if I’d misheard. ‘Pleased? That we’re about to watch someone die?’
Scarlett’s smile was difficult to read. ‘We’re about to watch a Ravalian die. If I were you, I’d be pleased.’
I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I didn’t try. But something twisted low in my gut. Was that the kind of person I’d become, if I spent long enough trapped in this court? Someone who delighted in blood and pain and death – so long as it was Ravalian? So long as it wasn’t mine ?
With the guards clearing a path through the stands, it wasn’t long before the royal box came into view. It was easy to recognise Cassius even from a distance, his golden hair gleaming in the sunlight. He looked like he was attending a party rather than an execution, resplendent in a midnight-blue tunic that matched his eyes.
‘You seem to make a habit of dressing for battle,’ he said by way of greeting. ‘Maybe you should be down there.’ A nod towards the arena floor, where I caught a glimpse of the executioner’s formidable figure. I quickly averted my gaze, not wanting to look too closely at the sword strapped to the man’s side.
‘I think I’ve spent enough time in that arena,’ I said cautiously.
‘I suppose you have.’ Cassius’s nonchalance was disconcerting. ‘Either way, the royal box is much more comfortable.’
Nobles turned at our approach, stepping out of the way and bowing deeply. A few glanced at the black diamond on my finger, and I heard some murmurs about the Lapian mines, about the rarity and the expense. I hadn’t realised the ring was anything out of the ordinary, and I cast a questioning glance at Cassius – but his attention was focused ahead. He didn’t seem to notice the whispers and scrutiny, or perhaps he simply didn’t care.
The emperor was seated in the centre of the royal box, murmuring something to his wife. He didn’t acknowledge our presence.
Scarlett brushed past without speaking, claiming the vacant seat next to the empress. Two other throne-like chairs were situated to the emperor’s left; Cassius slid into the one closest to his father, and I reluctantly took the other, waving away a platter of dried fruits offered by an over-eager attendant.
Cassius plucked a few sugared figs from the platter, his sapphire cufflinks sparkling in the midday sun. I would have liked to believe his carelessness was feigned, or that he was simply used to events like these. He wouldn’t be the only one; around us, the crowd was already cheering, the arena amplifying the sound until it reverberated in my ears. But as Cassius took hold of my hand, his finger running lazy circles across my palm, I realised it was more than that.
He was enjoying himself.
‘Who is it?’ I asked.
‘Hmm?’ Cassius said. But I was certain he’d understood the question perfectly.
‘Who are we about to watch die?’
‘You’ll see,’ he replied with a small smile. ‘I’d hate to deprive you of the surprise.’
A sick feeling built in my stomach. I started to press him further, but was cut short by the sound of a trumpet blaring. Hundreds of eyes turned towards the arena below, where three Warriors escorted a chained prisoner into view.
Stunned silence swept through the stands at General Tiran’s approach. He was still wearing his military uniform, but it was covered in dirt and grime. Even from high above, I could see the way he blinked – struggling to adjust to the bright sunlight, after so long spent in darkness. I remembered the feeling.
Then my gaze went to the woman following just behind him, and my heart sank. Horrified, I leant forward, trying to get a better look.
I could have been staring at Odessa a few decades older, though Lady Tiran’s head was bowed in a way her daughter’s never would have been. Her pale hair obscured her features from view, hiding her face from the crowd. That was a temptation I remembered, the urge to shield myself from the audience’s vicious scrutiny.
My nails sunk into the plush armrests. This was a nightmare. This was – it was—
It’s all my fault.
I barely heard the emperor’s booming voice announcing the general’s crimes. The crowd booed but all I could think of were Cassius’s assurances, his promises that the general and his family would be granted mercy. That they would be spared.
The crowd roared even louder, hungry for blood. General Tiran kept his head straight ahead, facing the emperor. At his side, his wife was openly sobbing.
Was Odessa somewhere close, watching the deaths of her parents from the staging area where I had once waited with my mother? Or was she still down in those dungeons, screaming and clawing at the bars?
‘You promised,’ I said through bloodless lips, tearing my gaze away from the executioner. He was already advancing towards the shackled prisoners; they had minutes left to live, if not seconds. ‘Nothing final.’
Cassius’s expression was dispassionate as he watched the scene unfolding below. There was no apology in his face as he glanced at me. No trace of remorse.
‘I lied.’
The execution was over. The bloodlust satiated – for now.
Cassius steered me through the exiting crowd without speaking. His arm wound around my waist, keeping me close to him – scandalously close.
I didn’t need to look at the audience to know they would be whispering. But Cassius’s presumptuousness served another purpose, and with inches between us, we could talk without being overheard.
‘You used me,’ I said numbly. ‘This was what you wanted all along.’
‘Of course it was,’ he replied. ‘You can give me a country. What use was Odessa in comparison?’
‘She was your fiancée . Was it necessary to do it this way? To destroy her life?’
‘Don’t tell me you’re feeling sorry for her,’ he drawled, raising a blond eyebrow. ‘She would have done the same to you, if she could. She would have done worse.’
I shook my head in disgust – with him, with myself. ‘What’s going to happen to her now?’
‘She’ll remain in the dungeons until her trial. Despite what you think, I’m not entirely heartless; I argued for a reduced sentence on her behalf.’
‘And if the emperor had decided to execute Odessa along with her parents? What would you have done then?’
His silence was answer enough.
‘Don’t look at me like that,’ he said, his grip tightening until it became almost painful. ‘You’re the one who planted the general’s seal in Lady Seneca’s home. I don’t recall you being concerned with Odessa’s welfare then .’
The accusation in his voice made me pause mid-step, and only Cassius’s strong hold kept me moving. My pulse was racing so fast that I wondered if he could feel it.
‘Let me give you some advice.’ Cassius’s voice lowered into something dangerous. ‘In my court, either you play to win, or you lose. There is no in-between.’
‘It’s not your court yet,’ I retorted.
He smiled darkly. ‘It will be,’ he vowed. ‘And you’re going to help me get it.’
We reached the bottom of the steps, and my gaze went to the bodies of the general and his wife, the sand around them dark with blood. It was a gruesome tableau, and even as the Warriors prepared to cart them away, I knew their efforts were in vain. Death stained this monstrous place, and nothing would ever make it clean again.
‘Don’t worry,’ Cassius said, his lips shifting to my ear. ‘Our terms still stand. Once we’re married, I am prepared to be very generous.’ His fingers trailed down my neck and across my collarbone in slow, soothing strokes.
His touch should have been intimate, but it was possessive instead. It made me feel caged. Trapped.
In less than a month, I will be Cassius’s wife.
The thought was like a bucket of icy water. All my plans to avenge my mother’s death, to find a way of helping Kalure . . . I had been so focused on those goals that I hadn’t considered – hadn’t allowed myself to consider – what marrying Cassius would really mean. It wasn’t a love match, but he would still want to consummate it. To have heirs.
And while I had once considered a dalliance with him . . . this would be permanent. Inescapable .
Staring up at the man who was going to be my husband, I swallowed down apprehension. He was giving me a promise, but how much was a promise really worth?
In Odessa’s case, it hadn’t been worth anything at all.