Chapter Fifty-Eight
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
Mira
‘Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?’ Aric asked, keeping pace with me as we left the Higher Districts behind.
I swallowed down sudden apprehension. I had visited Aric often over the past few days – at the infirmary and afterwards, when he was released back to the Order residences. Trying to show him how much he meant to me without bombarding him with plans and declarations. But now that it was the eve of my wedding, I was out of time.
‘You told me once,’ I said softly, ‘that you would run, if it meant having a life together. That you would leave all of this behind.’
Aric went very still. ‘What are you saying?’
I looked around, but no one was watching us. Focusing my attention back on Aric, my eyes went to his bandaged shoulder. He would make a full recovery – this time. But next time he might not be so lucky. No one would last long in the court if a royal wanted them gone, and if Aric stayed, I would lose him. Lillian would lose him.
Unless I could give him a strong enough reason to walk away.
‘I’m saying that if you still feel that way, I’d like to leave with you – and Lillian too.’ I paused, then admitted, ‘I’ve already spoken to her, and she’s willing to come with us. But only if we all leave together.’
Aric studied me intently. If he was looking for hesitation, he wouldn’t find any. I meant every word.
‘What changed your mind?’ he asked finally.
‘When I watched you fall . . . I can’t lose you, Aric. You or Lillian.’
You’re my family, I wanted to say. You’re my family, and I love you.
Maybe he saw that thought in my face, because the guardedness left his own. A slow smile upturned his lips, thawing whatever ice lingered between us. He reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
‘ There you are,’ he said, his voice low and intimate. ‘I’ve missed you, Mira.’
I leant my forehead against his in answer. But all too soon, Aric was drawing back and returning his attention to our surroundings.
‘Since we’re all the way out here,’ he said, his gaze sweeping over the dimly lit streets, ‘I assume you have a plan?’
I filled him in, explaining about Scarlett’s offer, my ambitions for Kalure and my recent interactions with Jadis. Aric’s face hardened when I mentioned visiting Darius in the dungeons, but he said nothing except, ‘Are you sure Jadis didn’t name a location to meet?’
‘I’m sure. All the note said was: Lower Districts, midnight. We’ll find you .’
We approached a row of dim, cramped shops. When I dared a glance inside the apothecary, I saw all manner of strange concoctions and lethal-looking knives. Faint light filtered in from underneath a door near the back, where plants crawled across the wall.
As I turned away, I caught a glimpse of someone watching me. Aric stiffened at my side, his hand dropping to the hilt of his sword. I reached for my dagger but stopped when the woman removed her hood, revealing sharp eyes and braided dark hair.
‘Took you long enough,’ Jadis remarked. ‘I’ve been following you for two blocks.’
‘Why didn’t you approach us earlier?’
‘I wanted to wait until you were deeper in the Lower Districts, somewhere we wouldn’t be observed.’ Jadis’s eyes flicked to the dark apothecary. ‘Madam Mandrakes isn’t the kind of place you should be so interested in. It has a bad reputation, even under new management.’
‘Who said I was interested?’
Jadis only snorted. ‘If you want to get rid of someone, there are better ways of going about it. Safer ways.’ Her attention slid to Aric, appraising his fighter’s build and stance. ‘Kain spoke about you often. Glad to have you with us.’
Aric tensed at the mention of his brother, but he nodded politely back at her. ‘Glad to be here.’
It was hard to keep up with Jadis’s swift pace as she strode through the streets, and sometimes, we came close to losing her entirely. But then she stopped in front of a smooth section of wall and raised her fist to knock.
Aric looked perplexed, at least until he saw the door materialise. Then his expression transformed into awe.
We climbed the steps in silence. It was surreal being back here, and for a second, my mother was vivid in my mind: laughing with the Kalurian governor, a dagger twirling casually in her fingers.
And there was a female figure sitting in her place, opposite the grim-faced Elian. But it wasn’t my mother.
Scarlett looked up at our arrival. Even in the dim glow of the lamps, her wine-red hair and luminous blue eyes were unmistakable. ‘No trouble, I trust?’
‘A court Warrior was tracking them,’ Jadis replied, ‘but I lured him away easily enough.’
‘A court Warrior?’ I repeated, shocked.
Scarlett leant back in her chair. ‘Cassius has had you followed for weeks now. Meeting in person was always going to be a risk, but I suppose it can’t be helped.’
Jadis eyed the princess warily as she claimed the seat next to her brother. Aric and I followed, sitting opposite each other.
‘Is anyone else coming?’ Aric asked.
‘I don’t trust anyone else to know the details,’ Jadis said. ‘But don’t worry – we’ve been working on infiltrating the wedding ever since Mira reached out. When it comes time to act, all our people will be in position.’
‘You want to act during the wedding?’
Amusement softened Scarlett’s face. ‘There’s no need to look so worried, Mira. You won’t actually have to marry Cassius.’
‘The princess is right,’ Jadis broke in. ‘The plan is for you and Lillian to leave before the ceremony starts. You’ll need to get ready together so the attendants aren’t suspicious, but we’ll organise an escape route from the palace to a carriage. Aric will wait for you there.’
I knew Aric wouldn’t like that even before he said, ‘Surely I’d be more help elsewhere. You’re going to need all the muscle you can get.’
‘You’re still injured,’ Jadis said, in a tone that left no room for argument. ‘It’s best that you stay by the carriage. When Mira and Lillian arrive, the driver will take you safely to the docks and away from the action.’
‘And what about Darius?’ Aric frowned. ‘I don’t see how a breakout of that magnitude is possible. The dungeons are a fortress.’
‘It’s already planned,’ Jadis said evenly. ‘I’ll subdue the guards while Elian looks after Darius. With Scarlett’s magic and the diversion in the throne room, it shouldn’t prove too difficult.’
Aric opened his mouth, probably to question some other aspect of the plan, but I spoke before he could. ‘I want to break Odessa out, too.’
‘Odessa Tiran ? The general’s daughter?’
‘Yes.’
Jadis’s brows drew together. ‘How do you know she’s sympathetic to our cause?’
‘I don’t,’ I admitted. ‘But her parents were executed in the arena. I doubt she has any love for Cassius or his father.’
Scarlett looked as though she thought me very simple-minded. ‘Do you really think Odessa would do the same for you, if your roles were reversed?’
No. No, we both knew that she wouldn’t. And maybe that made me a fool, but—
‘I won’t leave her behind.’
Jadis studied me for a long moment. Then, finally, she nodded. ‘In this instance, I think that an exception can be made. But only in this instance.’ Her dark eyes lingered on mine, filled with warning.
I nodded, and Jadis released her stare.
‘How do you plan on getting past the soldiers at the docks?’ Aric asked. ‘Even the merchant ships are heavily patrolled.’
‘We’ve bribed the men we need and replaced the others. All I need from you,’ Jadis said, eyeing me and Aric, ‘is to stick to the plan. The last thing we need are any unexpected surprises.’
‘I think we can manage that,’ Aric replied, and Jadis’s gaze settled on me.
‘Yes,’ I agreed, though I had no intention of following her directive. ‘No surprises. I promise.’
It was late by the time I returned to the palace, my last-minute purchase heavy in the hidden folds of my dress.
I’d been worried that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to slip away, but that wasn’t the case. It had come together perfectly: Aric had suggested we take separate routes back to avoid suspicion, and the others had been too busy with final planning to tail me, leaving no one to try and stop me when I doubled back to Madam Mandrakes. No one to try and talk me out of what I was planning to do.
Turning the corner to my chambers, I nearly stopped in my tracks. Aric was there, standing right in front of the bronze doors. I blinked, wondering if I was imagining it. But no – I couldn’t even imagine something this foolhardy.
‘Your Highness,’ he said, with a secretive smile. If he noticed my lateness, it didn’t show.
I only nodded back, not trusting myself to speak in case servants were nearby. Servants that could easily report Aric’s presence to the emperor – or to Cassius. What was he thinking ?
The doors closed behind me, blocking my view of Aric. But he remained at the forefront of my thoughts as I crossed through to my bedchamber, already knowing that sleep would prove impossible.
My attendants had lit the candles, casting everything in a flickering glow. I settled on a divan near the gauzy curtains, which were fluttering lightly in a floral breeze. A book was discarded on the low table – one of many Cassius had gifted me, about politics and history. I stared at the words, but couldn’t take them in. My mind was consumed with the dangers and possibilities that tomorrow would bring.
After a while, I gave up and approached the canopied bed, where my attendants had laid out a long nightgown of white silk. The balmy night air played across my skin as I removed my street clothes and stepped into it.
I was so preoccupied trying to do up the laces that I didn’t notice the door open. Only the soft footfalls made me turn, squinting through the semi-darkness—
A warm, calloused hand brushed my shoulder blades. ‘Let me.’
My heart leapt into my throat at Aric’s touch, and my swallow was audible. I was suddenly very conscious of his presence behind me, his fingers pressing against my neck and leaving goosebumps in their wake.
‘You can’t be here.’ The words left my lips like a gasp as he did up the laces – laces that he could easily undo, sending the flimsy silk falling to the floor. ‘It’s too risky. If you’re discovered—’
Taking hold of my arms, Aric turned me so that I was facing him. Staring up at him.
The candlelight turned his golden-brown eyes molten, making it difficult to think. To remember why this was a terrible idea.
‘They’d kill you,’ I breathed, as his hands rose to cup my face.
‘I don’t care,’ he said, and kissed me.
At the first touch of his lips, my body came alive. He was gentle, almost tentative, and I sensed the question in his kiss. It was a question with only one right answer.
My hands threaded through his soft hair, drawing him to me. Every brush of his hands, every breath, was achingly familiar.
But I pulled away, folding my arms across my breasts, barely covered by the sheer material of the nightgown. My stomach was twisted into knots. What would Aric say if he knew my plans? If he knew the full reason I wanted to run?
He studied me intently, reading me far too well. ‘What is it?’
‘I’m just nervous about leaving,’ I said, not meeting his stare.
‘It’s more than that.’ Aric’s gaze sharpened as he looked at me. ‘What are you up to, Mira?’
‘Who says I’m up to anything?’ I retorted, forcing a smile that he didn’t return.
‘If you’re considering backing out of this, I need to know. It’s not just our lives at stake, Mira. It’s Lillian’s, too.’
‘Lillian won’t be in any danger,’ I said, but I felt a shiver of anxiety at the thought. ‘By the time the ceremony starts, she’ll be out of harm’s way. Jadis promised she would be.’
‘Mira,’ Aric said firmly, ‘I know you want revenge against the emperor. I know a part of you doesn’t want to give that up. But you have to tell me right now: are you really willing to walk away?’
‘I want to be with you,’ I said, which wasn’t quite the same thing.
He didn’t press further, but I could tell he wanted to.
‘I love you,’ he said instead. ‘I love you so much it hurts.’
He had never said those words to me before, though I knew he would have professed his love sooner, if I’d let him. If I’d been able to hear it.
All those months we’d lost to revenge . . .
Suddenly, a dam of emotion was unleashed. I hadn’t cried since I’d killed the governor. I hadn’t thought I was capable of it.
But I was crying now.
Aric reached for me wordlessly. He held me as my body shook, as I clung to him with clawing, desperate hands.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I gasped, and I didn’t know what I was apologising for – only that I had to say the words, that I had to get them out —
‘It’s okay, Mira.’ Aric’s embrace tightened, holding me even closer. Holding me together. ‘Everything is going to be okay.’
And, for the first time in a long time, I thought that maybe it would be.
I didn’t know what expression I wore when I finally met his gaze, but whatever it was, it made Aric go still. He looked at me with such intensity, such tenderness, that I felt like he was seeing into my soul.
Tentatively, reverently, he wiped a tear from my cheek. For a second, we only stared at each other.
Then my eyes dropped to his lips. He’d kissed me earlier, but this felt different. If I closed the distance between us now, I knew there would be no going back.
I was standing on the edge of a cliff, and it was up to me to decide whether to jump.
As if from a lifetime ago, my mother’s words returned to me. That kind of love . . . I hope you experience it one day, Mira. But perhaps it’s better if you don’t. It can be a curse.
I threw caution to the wind—
And hurled myself off the precipice.
There was something euphoric about free-falling. I surrendered to the sensation, losing myself in the feel of Aric’s lips, his hands, his body.
His closeness was exhilarating. Maddening.
Not enough.
It wasn’t anywhere near enough.
I unbuttoned his tunic and pushed it off his shoulders, exploring his muscular chest, glistening golden in the dim light. Running my hand down across his stomach, I undid his leather breeches and watched as Aric stepped out of them.
My breathing went ragged – from adrenaline, not nerves. Whatever nerves I might have felt were gone, extinguished by the passion in Aric’s eyes. No one had ever looked at me the way he did – like I was everything to him. Like I was his entire world.
Without breaking eye contact, I lifted my nightgown over my head. I watched him swallow. Take me in with a burning gaze.
And I watched him lose patience with just looking .
Pulling me down onto the bed, Aric trailed scorching kisses along my throat. Then he shifted on top of me, the warmth and hardness of his body pressing against mine. His hand ghosted up my thigh, explorative at first, until—
He swallowed my gasp with his lips. My back arched and I pressed against him, filled with a kind of desperation I had no name for. And still he kept touching me, filling me with a fire that kept building, building, building—
It was torturous when he moved his hand. I was aching, burning, wanting .
I wanted him now . I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything.
‘Aric,’ I breathed, as I wrapped my legs around his back. Drawing him more fully against me. Into me.
He was gentle – so, so gentle, allowing me time to adjust, to become used to the sudden feeling of fullness, the brief pinch of pain. I could see how difficult it was for him not to move, but he kept his eyes on mine, watching my reactions.
‘More,’ I told him, moving my hips.
My head fell back as he obliged, the pain transforming into something else. Rapture.
And as our bodies fused together, becoming one, I was filled with a surety I’d never experienced before. A rightness.
I love you, too.
I wasn’t sure if I thought the words or said them, but they were deafening in my mind. They were echoed in every caress, every loving touch of our lips, every laboured breath.
Every beat of my racing heart.