Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Screw being mature and focused on myself.
My therapist won’t approve, but I’m allowed to have an unhealthy coping skill or two. If I want to go on a date with someone who makes me feel pretty, I will.
It’s easy to find someone to take me out. Whether I’m swiping on human dating apps or one specifically for the supernatural, plenty of attractive candidates are vying for an evening with yours truly.
I spend the day alternating between classes and swiping on Fang—a dating app for the supernatural—and it’s not long before the matches flow in.
I know this game well, and I have to focus on one match if I want it to go anywhere.
And I have to make the first move. Many people aren’t brave enough to reach out to me. Something about an attractive, confident, curvaceous vampire intimidates people.
I’ve been single for too long, and I’m ready to enjoy myself again.
One little spark of fun is all I can ask for.
The relationship with my last ex, a werewolf named Wolfgang, fizzled out sooner than I would have liked.
And yes, that’s his real name. His parents had a sense of humor, and so did he.
We had fun together. He was an enjoyable distraction during a stressful point in my life.
It wasn’t his fault, but after the situation with Amelia…
I needed some time alone, and I left him without warning or a decent explanation. I could go crawling back to him now, and he would probably welcome me back with open arms and say something to make me laugh. But I don’t want to laugh and pretend everything is fine. Not right now.
What I need is someone new—someone who doesn’t know about the horrors I faced. I need someone I can lose myself in.
I have dozens of matches, but a particular being catches my attention. She’s a tall, ethereal woman with red hair flowing down her back. And she claims fairy ancestry, which is unique. I’ve never met a fairy—I’ve certainly never hooked up with one—but there’s a first time for everything.
We haven’t met yet, but a thought comes every time I meet someone new. This one must be the one. The rest of my matches go ignored as I make my move on the lovely fairy.
Margaux
Can I say I am positively charmed by your profile?
Is that a fairy thing, or is it just you?
Alana
Well…
My gifts are with plants, so I can’t say it’s a fairy thing! Hehe.
Margaux
Then it’s just you.
Alana
Maybe…
And you are drop-dead gorgeous. I didn’t think you would ever match with me.
You look like a superstar. Are you really from Maine?
It’s too easy. I’m not exactly on my game, but after a bit of flirting and a video chat to prove I’m real, Alana agrees to meet with me. I don’t bother telling anyone about the date. Tobey would probably convince me to continue my little self-love journey, but you know what?
I have no use for self-love when I have a dozen admirers to remind me how lovable I am.
I prance into the restaurant exactly fifteen minutes late. It’s easy to spot Alana. She’s at a table for two, with her scarlet hair falling over her shoulders. In her pale yellow dress, she resembles a buttercup.
The scent of wildflowers and honey wraps around me as I take my seat. Even the smell of the delectable food can’t overpower her fairy nature.
“Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to be late, but my makeup always takes longer than expected.”
She lets out a soft, good-natured laugh. “It’s fine. Fifteen minutes doesn’t count as late.”
“That’s what I’m always saying!”
“It looks like we’re already finding some common ground.” Alana presses her lips together, like she’s holding back more of her sweet laughter.
“Looks like we are.” I lean in closer, tilting my head to the side.
“Your makeup looks wonderful, by the way. Very worth the extra time.”
Alana does nothing wrong, but…
I can’t say whether it’s the look she gives or the glistening light in her hair. A spike of panic runs through me. My smile becomes pained, and while I’m here for compliments, her words hardly register.
For several moments, I forget to respond.
“Why, thank you,” I say, holding my head higher. “Are you from Maine?”
“I am. My grandparents are from Ireland, but I grew up here.”
“Makes sense. I can’t say I’ve met a fairy before, and you seem otherworldly.”
“Ah. A lot of folks here haven’t…” She chatters on about visiting her grandparents in Ireland.
I would usually hang on to the information. I love hearing about people’s families and travels… but I can hardly pay attention to her now. Why?
She reminds me of someone. I can’t put my finger on who.
I push through my discomfort. “And have you met a vampire?”
She flushes pink and squirms in her seat. “Well, yes. I’ve met several, but I haven’t known one… intimately.”
“Aw.” I try to soften my smile. “Are you afraid of me?”
It’s ironic, considering that her mere presence sends shivers down my spine—and not in the way I would prefer.
The candlelight catches her hair, and my nails dig into the table, almost hard enough to break my sharp acrylics.
She shakes her head. “A little intimidated, that’s all. It’s not every day I spend time with someone like you.”
“Someone like me?”
“Someone so beautiful. You have such a classic beauty about you, and—I don’t know. Confidence, I suppose.”
She’s likely genuine, but the words feel hollow. They’re hidden by a layer of panic and confusion—and it’s mine. My fear.
I’m the one ruining our dinner, and she doesn’t have a way of knowing.
“I’m nothing special. Being a vampire isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Strength, speed, beauty, and enhanced senses are nice. But is it worth the eternal damnation and the possibility of outliving everyone I love?”
The topic is too heavy for a first date, but the words roll off my tongue before I can stop them. She’s immortal. She should understand. I would rather die whenever Tobey does, I think. Existing forever is tiresome.
I don’t have to live forever, as it is. Dhampirs don’t have immortality, unless… well, I’m not sure how to gain it, but my father is, and I don’t really want to know what the immortality ritual requires.
She blinks, my words clearly catching her off guard. “Oh…”
I force on a smile. “Kidding. It’s the best. Seriously.”
We order our drinks and appetizers, and the date continues. Once I shake off the strange feelings, getting to know her is… well, it’s fun. It’s what I wanted.
Alana is sweet, her voice is like a bell, and she laughs at every joke I make. She’s a wonderful audience, something any performer will surely covet.
It’s time for dessert. We decide to end the night with a drink too—a sample of wine.
But as moments tick by, the nature of the date changes… again.
She lifts the cup of red wine to her mouth, and my blood runs cold. There’s no reason for the feeling. Her amber hair catches in the light again, and this time, my throat closes.
Alana transforms—with fangs and screams—except she doesn’t. Not really.
It’s over in a blink, and she’s still there, as sweet as she was when I arrived. Her brows furrow, and her head tilts.
She may realize there’s something wrong with me, but she doesn’t know the half of it.
I can’t catch my breath. I don’t need to breathe, really, but my hand flies to my chest, and it’s as if my dead heart is racing.
It can’t be, but the feeling remains.
“Margaux?” Alana’s words muffle.
My ears ring. I can barely hear my name come from her lips. “I need—outside. I’ll be back.”
But I won’t. I zoom from the restaurant, with no intention of returning to finish dessert.
I’m still rattled as I pull into my parking spot at Strode. I didn’t tell her goodbye, and poor Alana must be mystified. She sends two messages, and I block her without reading them.
There’s nothing for me to do. Telling her she reminds me of someone is too ominous. No, I can’t face her again, even if she deserves an apology. An explanation. Anything.
It isn’t her fault. Amelia is someone I didn’t know until the end of her life, and now, she haunts me. She would love to haunt me, too.
It’s as if I’m letting her ghost win.
I exit the vehicle, rubbing my bare arms as I move across campus, my gaze sweeping over the empty parking lot. It’s not yet curfew. The date ended early and unceremoniously, and I’ll be in my dormitory before eight o’clock.
Once again, I’m pathetic. Tobey and Caldwell are having the time of their lives somewhere, and I can’t even enjoy a short date.
A low voice comes from behind me.
“What are you doing out here alone?”
I let out a loud squeal.
Some consider me one of the scariest things on campus, yet I’m on edge tonight. A stupid prank from another student has me losing my cool.
My fangs pop out, my eyes flashing red as I turn to face the prankster. The sight of my monstrous face would frighten someone else, but not Jun. He watches me with that cocky grin of his.
He’s in full demon mode tonight: horns curling back, and dark, leathery wings to match, large enough to eclipse his sturdy figure.
Bastard.
“What is wrong with you?” I turn, marching away from him. “You can’t sneak up on someone like that—and at this hour, no less.”
“It’s only eight.”
“Shut up.”
He has no trouble keeping up with my speed, zipping along in a way poor Tobey and Caldwell never can. “What’s wrong with you, huh? You don’t usually scare so easily.”
“You don’t know that, and you don’t know me. You’re so strange. Stop following me.
“Are you sure you want me to go? You seem nervous. I can walk you back to your dormitory, princess. Anything to make you comfortable.”
It’s hard to tell if he means to be condescending. There’s a genuine air about the suggestion, but somehow, the earnest nature makes it more offensive.
I let out a short, bitter laugh. “You’re the last person I want as an escort, thank you.”
I don’t want Jun to do anything for me, but… he has done a good deed. Jun scared my overzealous thoughts away—something that should be impossible tonight. It’s probably the first time in his wretched life that he’s done something to help me.