Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Jun is right after all. He is a gentleman.
We spend the night cuddling, and it doesn’t go further than that. We both want more—I can feel his desire through the feeding link.
That feeling, the bond I opened, doesn’t go away as quickly as it usually does. It’s morning now. Why can I still feel it? Feeding from someone awakens a psychic connection, but it ends after the feed. It’s still here now, lingering.
What the hell? There must be something wrong with his blood.
Finally, I force my eyes open. I fell asleep with his warm form around me, but…
When I wake up, it’s cold, and I’m alone. After getting used to feeling Jun’s warmth throughout the night, the cold of his room is jarring. The yellow morning light leaks through the window, and with a hefty sigh, I roll out of bed.
I would rather continue sleeping. I’m not keen on walking around campus alone early in the morning, but if Jun doesn’t want me here… I’m certainly not staying. What transpired the night before was nothing, but it was already too much for him. That has to be the reason he left without a word.
What made him run from me? Sharing blood, or something else?
I’m rigid as I get dressed and creep outside.
This has got to be the loneliest walk of shame I’ve ever experienced. We didn’t even have sex. Why do I feel this way?
I duck my head low, walking through the courtyard and praying no one recognizes me.
When I return to my dormitory, Tobey is there—and they’re waiting to pounce.
I drop my bag on the floor.
“Don’t.” I ignore them as I rifle through my wardrobe.
“Don’t what?” They’re the picture of innocence, sitting crisscrossed on their bed and watching me with a playful smirk. “Don’t ask you about your evening with Jun? I wouldn’t dare.”
“Yes.” I grab the first black dress I touch. “That. Don’t do that.”
“And why shouldn’t I? I thought it was nothing. There should be nothing to tell…”
I set out the ironing board, smoothing my dress out on it. Technically, there’s nothing noteworthy to tell Tobey. There were no confessions of feelings and not even a single kiss. But I can’t lie anymore and say it was nothing.
We shared a bed, I tasted him, and when he let me take a drink… that was something. It was intimate. It awakened a connection with him. I can still remember his scent, his taste, and his feelings flowing into me.
If I try hard enough, I can feel him now, and I hope the link only goes one way. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
It must be a demon thing.
Tobey doesn’t need to know those things, either. They’re usually the first person I tell about my love life… but when it’s Jun? Absolutely not.
Wanting him this badly is embarrassing, after years of complaining about him.
“We slept in the same bed.” I iron my dress as a distraction, not looking at them as I speak. “But, as I said, it was nothing. We happened to fall asleep there. No big deal.”
That wasn’t how it felt. He lifted me into his solid arms, and when he dropped me on the bed, I thought something would happen. Instead, he held me. That’s all. It was more intimate than anything I could have imagined.
I shake my head, clearing the memories.
“That is a big deal.” they say. “Huge!”
This is why I can’t tell Tobey anything. They’re already taking one piece of information and running a mile with it.
“You and I have shared a bed a hundred times. We didn’t do anything else.” I lift my head and look at them, grimacing. “Well… fine. That’s not strictly true. I fed from him.”
Tobey doesn’t need to know anything else. Explaining how I dry-humped his leg until I came is… no—not happening.
Their eyes widen. “You what? Did you like it? Did he like it?”
“I don’t know. No? Yes. I mean—no, absolutely not. It was a teammate helping another teammate. That’s what he said. Survival, not pleasure.”
His moaning into my ear said otherwise.
“You said it’s an intimate act.”
“Not this time.”
“But you’re blushing.” Tobey stands up. “I’ve never seen you blush before. I didn’t know you could.”
My cheeks are warm, thanks to Jun’s demonic blood.
“I’m not.” I raise my voice. “And I can’t. Nothing happened, and I’m not blushing. If something happened—and it didn’t—it doesn’t matter because when I woke up in the morning, he was gone.”
Their smile fades. “Oh, Margaux…”
“Don’t.” I lift a hand to stop them. “I’m getting dressed, going to class, and having a perfectly normal day. Because this is all normal. Nothing happened. Do you understand?”
“I get it.”
“Great. Thank you.”
I return my father’s call on the way to my first class. At least he won’t pester me like Tobey did—though I’m not keen to talk to either of my parents right now. In their eyes, our dinner ended well. But for me, it was stressful. I need a break.
That’s normal, right?
Or it would be in another family. Space. Boundaries. Too bad nothing about my family is normal.
Avoiding my father isn’t an option, considering I’m trying to join his club. I hold my phone up to my ear as I stroll through the courtyard.
“Margaux,” he says on the other end. “Good morning.”
“Good morning to you as well.”
“I’m hoping you made it onto campus without a problem last evening?”
“I did… And I saw that you called.”
“Yes. I was worried when you didn’t answer, I must admit.”
Right. There was another kill on campus—but he already knows I wasn’t the one to die. Doesn’t he?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.” My eyes dart, noting the students scattered about. Any of them could be involved. “I was safe in my dormitory.”
Not quite, but I was safe in someone’s dormitory.
“Good. That’s good.” Despite any barriers between us, there is a genuine relief in his voice.
I stop outside my classroom and close my eyes tightly. My father cares about me. He may also be involved in the murder of my best friend. How can I accept these two things as true when they feel so contradictory?
“There’s another reason I wanted to call you,” he says.
I swallow thickly. “Oh?”
The moment of anticipation does nothing to soothe my nerves.
Worrying about Jun leaving in the morning is stressful enough, and now my father has something to tell me.
“The first trial is tonight.”
“It is? So soon?”
He chuckles. “Relax. You’re going to do great.”
“I hope so…” But I doubt it. I’m not ready.
Jun and I are supposed to go together, of course, but things between us are so strange now, and… the timing could not be worse.
“We’re sending letters later, but I want you to be prepared. Your acceptance into the Order is important, as I’m sure you can imagine.”
“I can.” My voice is faint.
“Tonight is the mental trial. I will tell you nothing else but come with mental preparation. Be sharp. Be fed.”
Hell. Can everyone tell I haven’t been taking care of myself?
At least, after last night, I’m strong and alert. At least I have that going for me.
“I’ll be there.”
Tobey, Caldwell, and I meet for lunch.
Well, technically, they’re having lunch together.
They’re seated in a cozy corner of a mostly empty table.
There are only a few tables in the dining hall, but it’s early enough that the students form small groups rather than cramming together.
This doesn’t offer much privacy in a school of paranormal, but we’ll have to make it work.
I spot the pair and attack, sliding into the seat next to Tobey. There’s no time to waste. “The first trial is tonight. For the Order. No one else knows—but my father told me early.”
The others may know now, if they’re listening in. I don’t recognize any of the students from the mixer, but that means nothing.
Tobey’s eyes widen. “It’s too soon.”
“I know… and I’m not prepared at all, but he says it’s a mental trial. That’s better than physical, I guess.”
Having enhanced strength and speed doesn’t mean I’m a good fighter. I’m not as intelligent as Tobey and Caldwell, either. I need their help.
“A mental trial…” Tobey taps their lips. “It could be a riddle or a puzzle. That’s my guess.”
I groan. “Excellent. Two things I’m terrible at.”
The most stressful part will be contacting Jun. I’ve already waited too long, considering he’s my so-called mate. He should know about the upcoming trial and be able to prepare as well, but I can’t face him.
It’s almost noon, and he still hasn’t texted me. I won’t be the first to text. Even if this is life-or-death, my ego will live through it.
“I can go with you.” Caldwell clears his throat. “If you think it’s allowed…”
Tobey shakes their head with vigor. “Absolutely not. It’s not safe. I hardly approve of Margaux going and—”
“We would be stronger together. It’s just an idea.”
“And I appreciate it, but…” I glance out of the frost-covered window, frowning. “It won’t work. My father thinks Jun and I are mates. He needs to be there.”
“Mates?” Tobey lifts a brow.
“It’s a vampire thing.” I roll my eyes. “Destined to live an undead life together, or whatever. Like my parents. It was the best way to explain why I wanted Jun to join the Order with me.”
“Demons have mates, too,” Caldwell says.
“Jun mentioned that.” My mouth goes dry as I lift a scone and place it on my plate. “Is it… the same for them?”
“It’s… stronger, perhaps.” Caldwell hesitates. “Historically speaking, they’re intensely protective of their mates.”
“Were your mother and father…?” I ask.
He snorts. “Absolutely not.”
“If it’s that serious, your father will expect you two to go together.” Tobey frowns. “This keeps getting worse.”
“Why?” Caldwell asks. “This is good. It means Margaux won’t be alone.”
“It is good,” I blurt, not wanting Caldwell to know about the utter embarrassment of the night before. “It works out for the best. Everything always works out in my favor.”
Stupid affirmations. I no longer believe them.
With a forced smile, I lean forward, pouring myself a goblet of blood.
There was a time when the action would have made Tobey’s eyes bulge out of their head, but they don’t even flinch now.
“Text us if you need anything,” Tobey says. “We’ll be there in a flash.”
I swallow the glass of blood. “Don’t worry. I have Jun to help me out.”
The last thing I need is another donation from Jun himself—but more than ever, I must have my wits about me. This is only the first trial, and if I fail, solving Poppy’s murder slips through my fingers for good.
I won’t let that happen.