Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Jun offers to walk me back to my dormitory, and I accept, our fingers linked as we meander through the courtyard. For once, we aren’t breaking curfew, and the energy around us feels soft. Our steps are light and slow as our feet crunch through the autumn leaves.
“We can trust her,” Jun says.
I don’t need to ask to know who he’s referring to. Professor Connolly.
“I know.”
He looks away, his cheeks turning pink. “She’s always been… like a mother to me, I guess.”
Seeing Jun flustered, especially about something so sweet, does something to me. And I hate that it does.
“Aw. Don’t be embarrassed.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not.”
“It’s sweet. She’s always been a mentor to me, too.”
It’s different from a mother, but I don’t need a second mother. One is more than enough for me. Jun has lived a different life. He’s hardly spoken about his mother, which likely means they don’t have a good relationship.
There’s a reason his demonic father raised him—or attempted to.
“Then we’re on the same page,” he says.
We usually are, as of late, but I’m still wrapping my head around how much our relationship has changed. They’re wonderful changes, and they lead me to more allies and answers. It’s all so baffling.
“I thought she was going to lecture us about… you know.”
“I don’t know.” His lips tug up at the corners. “Elaborate for me.”
“You know.” I narrow my eyes. “The part where we hooked up in a classroom. I thought we were going to get in trouble.”
He laughs aloud. “Good thing you were wrong. That would have been fucking embarrassing.”
“Exactly. It made the actual topic feel like a relief.”
We stop outside my dormitory, but neither of us is in a hurry to rush off. Our hands are still together, his thumb brushing against my cool skin again and again.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to my place?” he asks. “I don’t mind sharing my bed.”
“I’m sure.” I look up at the building. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night?’
His eyes widen. “I’ve seen the size of your bed.”
“And?”
“And you have a roommate.”
“Their boyfriend stays over all the time.” I step forward. “If you don’t want to stay the night with me, say so. Stop making excuses.”
When he scoffs, such a familiar sound, it’s more playful than it usually is. “You know that’s not it.”
“I know. And I would come back to yours, but I should spend time with Tobey.”
“I get it.”
But there’s more. I need time to clear my head, which is bursting with thoughts, feelings, and general confusion. The way he looks at me now, with soft eyes, does nothing to help it. He’s closer, too, leaning in before I expect it.
And I accept it, my chin tilting up to meet him as he presses a tender kiss to my lips.
“Let me know if you change your mind,” he murmurs. “My bed is all yours, princess.”
I spent years wishing for Jun to disappear, to run off to another school and start a new life—anything to get him away from Strode and far away from me. I no longer relate to those feelings, even if they were present not too long ago.
Now, when he leaves, it’s too soon.
There’s a lot for me to tell Tobey about.
I’m fighting off a smile as I enter our shared space, my head ducked low, and I hope they don’t see the bliss on my face.
Telling them about Jun is necessary, but I would rather avoid it.
I don’t want to tell anyone about us yet.
It might break the magic, and I don’t really know what Jun and I are. What is there to tell?
Tobey has already been grilling me about him, and the last thing I want is for them to know they were right.
“How was the play?” they ask.
It would be offensive that they didn’t come and see for themself, but their laptop is open, and they have several books strewn across the bed. Caldwell isn’t here either, which is rare these days. It means Tobey is buried in schoolwork.
Tobey caring about school work when they’re here to solve the mystery of Poppy’s death is amusing, but they’ve always been a bit of an overachiever. It’s something we have in common, even if I prefer to succeed in different ways.
Unlike me, Tobey can’t exactly afford this school without a mountain of student loans. They should make the most of it.
I leave my shoes by the door and float through the room. “It was great.”
They lift a brow. “Really? I thought you were upset about the role…”
“Oh, I am, but I think I shone with the few lines I had.”
That has nothing to do with my good mood.
“Right…”
I turn my back to them, opening my drawer to pick a pair of pajamas. I’ll need to change soon. If I wasn’t filthy before the play, I am after everything that came next.
“It was a good night.” I finally allow myself to smile once they can’t see me.
“You’re keeping something from me.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re so quick to accuse—”
“What is it? Did you hear about the next trial?”
“No.”
“Is it something about your family?”
“Tobey, no! It’s…” I press my lips together, suppressing laughter. “Jun.”
“I knew it!” They snap their laptop shut, scrambling off their bed. In an instant, the little twerp is all up in my face, inspecting my expression with wild eyes. “What happened? You’d better tell me. I always tell you about these things.”
“You do not.”
“I do!”
I roll my eyes. “Well, there’s nothing to tell. We hooked up, and he let me drink from him again. He requested it, in fact.”
And I can’t help but gloat. Seeing how much he loves my fangs on his neck is a point of pride.
They gasp. “You didn’t.”
“Don’t worry. I made sure he had a proper snack after.”
They shake their head. “So, what does this mean for you? Are you…?”
I pile my pajamas into my arms, turning to Tobey with a furrowed brow. “I don’t know.”
This is so unlike me. I’ve always loved dating and romance. There’s a theater in it, after all; it’s a dance, a duet, a poetic thing at heart. Dating never goes this way for me. I’m the type to get to know someone before we connect intimately, and…
Well, I suppose I already know Jun. Days ago, I would have said I know him too well. Now, I need to know more.
Whatever we are, it’s happening too quickly.
“Figure it out,” Tobey says. “Or our investigation will become awkward.”
“You weren’t nearly as worried when it was you and Caldwell trying to figure yourselves out. We’ll be fine. Jun and I have worked together professionally for years despite the tension. It was a different sort of tension, I suppose, but we still managed.”
They narrow their eyes. “Hm…”
“Forget about it. I have more interesting news. We have a professor on our side.”
“What? Who?”
“Professor Connolly. It turns out she’s been working on dismantling the Order for years. When she heard we were joining, she thought we might want to help.”
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“This will be useful,” they say, “if we can trust her.”
“We can. She’s been my mentor for years. She’s more than a professor.”
“If you say so.”
I ignore the scrutinizing look they give, turning and making my way to our shared bathroom. It’s connected to the room on the other side—nowhere near as private as Jun’s—and I long for his dormitory for more reasons than one.
“I’m showering,” I say. “You can continue bothering me once I’m clean, all right?”
“And I will.” Their words are both a warning and a joke, accompanied by a soft chuckle. “The bothering will never end.”
The shower brings no clarity, but the steam and hot water soothe me. The scalding temperature reminds me of stolen moments with Jun. It’s hot enough for me to feel it, which means it would scald the skin of a mortal being, but I bask in the feeling.
I know what being in the throes of early infatuation feels like, and I’m afraid I’m there again, even if I have no time for it. My mind won’t leave him behind. All I can think of is his claws trailing gently at the base of my neck.
Goose bumps form on my skin as I step out of the shower, wrapping a dark brown around myself.
Tobey yelling my name disturbs my peace.
Through the fogged mirror, I give myself a look of disbelief.
I slip on my fluffy bathrobe and wrap my microfiber towel around my hair.
“What could be important enough for you to ruin my shower?” I ask as I return to our shared room.
They’re silent, holding up a black envelope. Their fingers shake. “The next trial. That’s what this has to be, right?”
“No, no… surely my father would warn me. He did last time.”
But my name is on the envelope, and it’s one I know well.
I take it from them, break the seal, and retrieve the letter with shaking fingers.
Professor Connolly said the trials will become harder. Dangerous. I’m unprepared.
Margaux Cruz
l’Ordre de la Chasse Amère extends an official invitation to your second trial. This will be a test of strength.
Dress code: Casual and athletic.
November 11th, Midnight, Gymnasium.
Bonne chance.
“You’re right.” I show them the letter. “It’s a physical trial this time. I wonder what that could mean…”
“Let me get my camera.”
I put a hand on their arm, stopping them. “I’ve been thinking… We should put a pause on the documentary for now.”
“Really? I feel like it’s more important than ever.”
“And it is. We should still keep track of things like the letters. But filming a documentary in the middle of the investigation is a distraction.”
They frown thoughtfully. “I didn’t see it that way.”
“I know… and it’s more, for me. I’m already performing in so many ways. Between the play, and lying to my parents’ face, and pretending to be a part of the Order… It’s a lot. Putting on another performance is exhausting.”
“I never expected you to perform for me.”
A soft smile appears on my lips. “I know, but I can’t help myself, darling. You know how I am once the camera is on.”
They crack a smile. “You’re right.”
“There will be time to document it after.”
They look away, their lithe fingers twisting together. “That’s my worry. I want to tell this story, but… what if I don’t live through this? Who’s going to tell it then?”
Tobey shoving cameras into my face makes too much sense now, and I nearly regret bringing it up. They’re human. Of course, they’re afraid they’ll die.
That’s my fear for them, too.
My smile disappears. “You will. You are the one to tell this story. It can’t be anyone else.”
And that means they must live to the end. There is no other option.
Tobey doesn’t look so sure. They wear a wary smile and turn their attention to the letter in my hand.
“Do you even own athletic wear?” they ask, squinting at the words on the page.
I snatch the piece of paper from them. “Of course.”
There are exactly three matching sets in the back of my closet. While I prefer formal wear, it’s important to be ready for any occasion, especially at Strode.
“I feel good about this trial,” I say, stowing the letter in my top drawer.
“Do you?”
Hardly, but it’s best to fake it until I make it.
I sit on the edge of my bed, squeezing lotion in my hands. “I do. It’s a physical trial—Jun and I are both strong. He makes it sound like he’s a good fighter, too, but I doubt we’ll have to fight. That would be crazy…”
The first trial was a walk in the park. No violence, no injuries—the next will be the same.
“What if you have to fight other students?” they ask.
“Then, I’ll win.”
“What if you have to fight Jun?”
I press my lips together. “They won’t make us do that. We’re allies. We’re allowed to have allies.”
Unless they change the rules.
I smooth the lotion on my legs, avoiding Tobey’s gaze as they settle into bed.
Before I can ruminate on the question any longer, my phone vibrates with a distraction.
Jun
Should we talk?
The text is simple. It barely says anything, but my cool blood turns to ice.
“Fuck,” I mutter.
“What is it?”
Jun
About the trial.
His second text saves the day—doesn’t it? But my stomach sinks even lower. He wants to talk about the trial, not about us. That’s what we should do… so, why am I disappointed?
“Nothing,” I mutter. “Jun received his invitation as well.”
If he’s going to play it cool, I will too. There are a million things I want to say in the text, but I opt to keep it simple.
Margaux
Probably.
Meet me tomorrow in the common room after breakfast.
I look up from my phone. “Tobey?”
“Yes?”
“Should I send him a kissing emoji?”
They groan loudly, rubbing their temples. “You know what? Maybe not. What is it you always tell me? ‘Leave them wanting more?’”
“Right.” I lock my phone and set it off to the side. “Then that’s what I’ll do. I give good advice, don’t I?”
“Sometimes, but it’s rare.”
I throw one of my stuffed animals—a creature with too-large eyes and teeth—at them. “Well, I’m right this time!”
Whether he is my mate or not, I will not beg for any man’s attention—especially not Jun’s.