Chapter 30 Kim
Chapter Thirty
Kim
Amanda hugs Bella to her side as Bella chatters on about the day, about Cami, about how nervous she was talking in front of everyone.
“You were wonderful,” Kim says.
It’s dinnertime, and everyone has left except for her parents. Kim asked what time they were meeting their friends, but her dad just said they were having lunch with them tomorrow instead.
“I promised Bella we’d get fish and chips,” Kim says. “Are you staying?”
“We’d like that.” Her mum smooths down her skirt and shoots her dad a long look.
He lumbers to his feet and holds his hand out to Bella. “You were going to let me meet Cloudy.”
Bella’s eyes light up, and she takes her grandfather’s hand, and they leave the room to find Bella’s hobby horse.
Kim’s nerves jangle. It’s obvious her parents planned for her mum to talk to Kim alone. It’s equally obvious Amanda is going to mention something difficult. “Spit it out. I’m not going to like it, am I?”
Amanda pats the couch next to her. “Danika is a lovely person, and I love seeing how close Bella is to Camille. But I wonder—”
“Mum, please, whatever you’re going to say, please don’t. Not today.”
“What are you expecting?” Her mum cocks her head like a bird.
Kim lifts a shoulder. “Something about Danika and me. How we shouldn’t get too close. How difficult shared experiences can make emotions run high.”
Amanda’s eyebrows arch. “That wasn’t at all what I was going to say.” She nods slowly. “Now that you mention it, though… Is that the way it’s going?”
“No comment.” Kim manages a smile. “So if not that, what do you need to say?”
“It is about Danika. She’s carrying a lot of anger, directed at Chris.
Not at you. But she mentioned that it was lucky the house they shared came to her.
It seemed a strange comment, given that her Chris was the legally recognised one.
I asked more, but she prevaricated. Kim, you are lucky that you never put Chris on the title of your apartment.
Imagine the difficulties there would have been sorting that out. ”
“I offered once. We’d been together about four years, and he was giving me a contribution to the mortgage every month. He said there was no need; he trusted me. Ha! Imagine that.”
“Hiding in plain sight.” Amanda presses her lips together. “And no valid will.”
“No will, full stop.”
“So you got nothing?”
“Except what he left in the apartment.”
“No life insurance, no payout on the car, no bank accounts, no superannuation?”
“They would have been in his legal name.”
“Which Danika would have got. Her and Cami. Kim, I know this isn’t a good time to bring it up, but ethically, you should have received a share of that money. Has Danika ever mentioned it?”
“No. We never really talked about it. And I don’t want to. I was the other woman to her. Bella and I are the other family. The second family, not the first.”
“But equal. Not lesser.”
“I don’t need that money. I’m doing okay.”
“You are not less than Danika.” Her mum grips Kim’s shoulders and gives her a small shake. “You were with Chris for nearly ten years. Ten years! That was not a casual affair. You were his partner, his de facto wife. That does not make you less than Danika.”
Kim is silent for a moment. “I know you’re right.
It would have been different if I had gone into the relationship knowing about Danika.
But a part of me feels I should have known, and a part of me feels I cheated Danika, and a big part of me feels I shouldn’t benefit from Chris’s death in this way. ”
“Bollocks,” her mother says inelegantly.
“That’s total and utter fucking bollocks.
If you don’t want a share of the money, that’s fine.
But think of Bella. I’m sure Cami received money—either willed to her directly, or if, as I’m starting to wonder, Chris didn’t leave a will, then something would have come by court order. ”
“I have enough for Bella.” Kim’s stomach clenches. Money. Why does it always come down to bloody money?
“You do now,” Amanda agrees. “But what if you get sick? What if Bella wants a real pony, not just that stuffed horse’s head on a broomstick?
If you and Danika continue to grow your relationship, how will Bella feel if she learns Cami got money from Chris and she got nothing?
For she will learn. Things like that always come out. ”
Kim picks at a seam on her loose pants. The red thread is fraying. “I’m not going to ask. The law would have been on her side.”
“Would it?” Amanda asks. “If there was a will that was finalised before Danika knew about you, maybe the settlement would be invalid. I don’t know; I’m not a lawyer. If he died intestate, the court should have included you in the settlement. You could consult a family lawyer.”
“No.”
“It could be a lot of money. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be. Can you justify depriving Bella of what should be hers?”
Kim has been dry-eyed all day: when she talked about Chris, even when Bella did.
But now, her mind jumbles with her mother’s words, and what spills out is anger: at Chris—again—for putting them in this situation.
But also, at Danika. Maybe she does have the law on her side; Kim has no idea, but her mum is right: ethically, Bella should receive the same as Cami, whatever that is.
She blinks fiercely and swipes at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I wish you hadn’t mentioned this.”
Amanda pats her hand. “Mentioned it now, or mentioned it at all?”
“Part of me wishes at all. Because now you have, I have to at least investigate, for Bella’s sake.” She stares down at her hands, white-knuckled in her lap. “But I don’t want to believe Danika would deliberately keep that from us.”
“She’s had a lot to contend with. Both of you have. She may not have considered it. Or, we may be wrong, and her Chris left a valid will which didn’t mention you or Bella. You could still challenge that—at least for Bella.”
The tears fall freely now. “I don’t want to do that. Danika and I…we’re building something together. Something for our girls. A family of sorts. And”—she whispers the words jammed in her chest, close to her heart—“maybe something between us.”
Her mother is silent. “Remember what I said about bonding over difficult experiences?”
“I haven’t forgotten. And it may only ever be a close friendship. Danika identifies as straight.”
“But you want it to be more?”
“I care for her, and I think she cares for me.”
“Then I wish you every luck in the world. But I’m giving you a mother’s advice: don’t let that get in the way of what’s best for Bella.”
It’s been two weeks since Chris’s celebration of life. Two weeks since Kim has seen Danika. Oh, they’ve talked on the phone, but neither of them has come up with any firm plan to get together again.
Maybe Danika has her reasons for being as hesitant as Kim.
Maybe her mother is right, and Danika is avoiding Kim because of money.
Bloody money. Kim isn’t so up-in-the-clouds as to think it doesn’t matter, but she’s always been of the view that if she has enough, then more doesn’t matter.
She remembers a blessing: I wish you enough.
She can’t remember where she heard it, but it’s something she’s always believed in. Enough. Sufficient.
But just as she doesn’t push her vegetarianism on Bella, she shouldn’t push enough on her daughter either. Bella may have needs in the future. Money now could be the enough of the future.
Soccer has restarted, and with it Bella’s grumbles that she and Cami aren’t on the same team. Kim reminds her that Bella is on the same team as Jorie, and Cami is on the same team as Sylvie, and any change would upset those friendships.
Bella still grumbles, though.
“Are you ready?” She calls down the hall to Bella’s room.
“Yes.” Bella comes out already wearing her boots, socks rolled tight up to her knees like her hero Mary Fowler. They will fall down in the first two minutes of play, but that doesn’t matter.
“Is it training today?”
Bella nods. “I hope we practice penalties. Cami and I are getting really good.”
At the pitch, Bella runs off to join Jorie, and Kim finds Suze in the stand. She waves to her and points to the coffee wagon that always does a roaring trade among parents forced to sit on cold benches in the gusty days of autumn.
Five minutes later, clutching two coffees, she ascends the stand to where Suze sits.
“Thanks.” Suze takes the coffee. “I need this. Jorie couldn’t find her socks this morning, the long pair that go over her knees, so I didn’t have time for coffee. Tell me something new and exciting that isn’t about nine-year-olds.”
Kim sifts over the pieces in her mind: Danika, Chris, money, the lawyer’s details that her mother emailed to her. Her head is too full to think about any of them. Besides, none of that fits Suze’s request for something “new and exciting”. More like “same-old and stressful”.
“Remember the client I had a couple of months back? The one who came over from England to wrap up her brother’s affairs?”
“With the house full of junk?” Suze nods. “Did they sell the house?”
“Not yet, according to Lucinda. But she emailed me, saying she was back in Melbourne for a week—something to do with the estate again—and asked if I’d like to meet for coffee.”
“As in a date? Or she wants to pick your brains for local knowledge?”
“The latter, I think. I got no queer vibes from her before.”
“Doesn’t mean they’re not there. She was stressed and upset when you saw her last.”
“She probably wants a recommendation for a demolition company. The house was in a terrible state.”
“She could get that in an email.” Suze nudges Kim hard enough that her coffee sloshes. “It’s a date.”
“Yeah, nah. Not interested.” There’s simply too much in Kim’s head right now to consider dating anyone. And if she’s honest with herself, Danika still occupies that grey area that might be marked “romantic interest” or might just be “good friend”.
“You’re a lousy liar.” Suze sips her coffee. “Be honest; you’re holding out for Danika.”
“I don’t know, Suze.” She glances at the enormous clock on the clubhouse wall.
They have at least an hour more to wait.
With instant determination, she says, “But there’s this,” and starts telling Suze everything her mother said about Chris’s will or lack thereof, about inheritance, and about Bella’s right to something.
Suze listens until the end without a word, her gaze never leaving Kim’s face.
“And that’s it,” Kim concludes. “And I don’t know whether to pry into this or leave it well alone.”
“Talk to Danika for a start,” Suze says. “You’re assuming a lot. You’re assuming Danika either hasn’t thought of this or is hoping you won’t. She strikes me as a decent person—I think she’d do the right thing.”
“What if she doesn’t? What if she wants to lawyer up and fight?”
“Talk,” Suze says firmly. “Maybe Chris left a whole pile of debt—he had two families after all—maybe he and Danika had an airtight prenup, maybe Danika brought all the assets into the marriage. Just don’t obsess about it when you don’t have the facts.”
Kim stares out at the pitch where the kids are dribbling soccer balls through rows of poles. It reminds Kim of what Bella and Cami do with their hobby horses.
“I have a date tomorrow night,” Suze says. “And don’t say it’s about time.”
“It’s about time.” Kim nudges her, glad of the break from her intrusive thoughts. “Spill. And would Jorie like a sleepover with Bella tomorrow?”
“It’s a first date. No sleepover for me. I’ve got more cautious about that. Jorie would love a sleepover, though. I was going to ask Mum, but I know Jorie would rather go to yours.”
“No worries. I can take her to school with Bella in the morning. So, who’s the date?”
“You know how my fuel gauge doesn’t work properly,” Suze says.
“I normally make sure I fill up before it gets below half to allow for this, but somehow I didn’t last week, and I ran out of petrol on the Nepean Highway in rush hour.
” She rolls her eyes. “So I was stuck in the middle lane, with traffic rushing around me on either side, hooting, and drivers giving me the finger. This tradie in a ute stopped behind me, put his flashers on and waved down the traffic until it stopped, then pushed my car onto the service road. He then went off and bought five litres of fuel for me.”
“Wow,” Kim says. “There are kind people in the world after all.”
“He was lovely,” Suze says. “And we’re meeting for drinks tomorrow at five, with an option for dinner after if we’re both comfortable.”
“Decent and sensible,” Kim says.
“Mm. Just like Danika.”