Chapter 10 #2
My first thought was that it had to have been an accident, but the pressure lingered just enough that my heart jumped.
I slowly managed to lift my eyes from my plate, finding him already looking at me.
His expression didn’t change much, but he tilted his head slightly toward the lawyer, who was still deep in conversation with my father about timelines, clauses, and various other things that sounded far too official for my liking.
The small gesture felt deliberate. Like encouragement, perhaps. Possibly even encouragement to speak up about why I had made Jesse fly all this way. My throat suddenly felt so dry that I cleared it on instinct, but that brief moment of connection had snapped me out of my shocked trance.
“Excuse me,” I said, quietly interrupting them.
Three sets of eyes immediately turned toward me, my father’s eyebrows lifting slightly in surprise. Jesse, however, leaned back in his chair with a slight hint of a smile on the corners of his lips.
“I’m listening,” he said, entirely calm.
I folded my hands in my lap so no one would notice that they’d started trembling. “I wonder if I might clarify a few things I’ve been uncertain about.”
The lawyer nodded politely, obviously ready to take mental notes, but I did my best to ignore him.
I didn’t mean to cause trouble or be difficult.
The man could relax. Seeing as my father was the Earl, the practical side of this arrangement had simply been weighing on my mind since the moment the contract had been mentioned, and before I signed anything, there were certain stipulations I wanted to make.
“If this goes forward, I would have to relocate to Chicago,” I started slowly, speaking mostly to Jesse now.
He gave me a small nod, still calm and with that hint of a smile on his lips. Some of my nerves eased at the open expression on his handsome features. Clearly, unlike his lawyer, he wasn’t bracing for a fight to the death over unexpected, possibly unreasonable demands, so I kept my focus on him.
“I’m willing to agree to that, but I would like permission to return to the castle every summer,” I said. “I would also want to bring whatever children we may have in the future with me when I do visit.”
The moment the sentence had left my mouth, my father cut in. “Of course, the children would need to spend time here.”
He leaned forward, launching into explanation mode. Man-splaining, Winnie called it when he got all animated like this over things we already knew.
“My heir would need to be here quite often. It’s important he understands the family history, the traditions, and the responsibilities that come with the title. This estate has existed for centuries. It’s not something one simply learns from a book—”
Jesse’s foot tapped against mine. When I looked up, I found him once again already looking at me. He cocked his head, inclining it slightly toward my father like this was meant to be a quiet reminder.
Although I didn’t know him very well, it was almost like I could hear his voice in my head. This is your show. Run it.
I straightened slightly in my chair. “My reasoning goes beyond ensuring that my future, theoretical son is a well-trained Earl by the time he’s five.”
The words were out before I could stop them, heat racing to my face in the aftermath, but Jesse was still watching me with that same expectant calm on his features. Right, then.
“It has more to do with the fact that I consider the castle my home,” I said after taking a moment to gather myself. “I’m not interested in giving that up.”
For a split second, I couldn’t believe I’d said that out loud. Even my father looked startled while the lawyer simply blinked at me, but Jesse was smiling. It wasn’t a mocking or amused smile either, but rather, it seemed warm and genuine.
“That’s completely fine by me,” he said easily and the tension in my shoulders loosened just a fraction. “I would expect nothing less. Anything else?”
Encouraged despite my surprise, I added a few more small, practical points, highlighting visiting schedules that would make sure any children we had spent time understanding both families and their responsibilities to them.
By the time I finished, I felt oddly breathless, but triumphant too.
I’d done it. I’d actually told them what I wanted.
“That’s all,” I said finally.
The lawyer glanced at Jesse, waiting for the nod, then offered me a polite smile before he gathered his papers. “Very well. I’ll add those points to the contract. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll begin updating the draft immediately. I should have a complete, final version by tomorrow night.”
Moments later, he rose and left the dining room, the silence that suddenly followed deafeningly loud. My father cleared his throat and pushed back his chair, his eyes on Jesse as he rose.
“Well, shall we adjourn to the study for a drink?”
Jesse nodded, standing without hesitation. Internally, I sighed and resigned myself to being left behind. The invitation had clearly been meant for Jesse alone. I knew immediately that I hadn’t been included, even if my future husband had come to England at my insistence.
“Of course,” he said smoothly, but as he walked past me, following my father to the door, he leaned down ever so slightly. “Good job.”
The words were so soft that I barely heard him, but he’d definitely said them. Before I could even twist in my chair to smile or acknowledge my appreciation for his encouragement at all, he’d straightened back up and was continuing his conversation with my father.
“Your estate really is impressive,” he was saying as they left the room. “The gardens are beautiful.”
“And costly,” Dad said tightly. “An operation such as ours requires constant upkeep. The cost of maintenance alone is staggering.”
I nearly groaned out loud, but mercifully, their voices faded down the hall. I slumped back in my chair, remaining seated for another long minute once they were gone. Good job. What does that even mean?
Shaking my head, I rose briskly and hurried toward the hallway. If I stayed any longer, my brain was going to spiral into analyzing every tiny detail of that interaction and that would not help my nerves right now at all.
I’d just reached the doorway when a strange instinct made me glance over my shoulder. My heart skipped when I realized Jesse had paused halfway down the corridor, looking back at the exact same moment I did.
When our eyes met, he smiled at me and the sight of it sent a flutter through my chest that I absolutely did not understand. Just as fast as the moment had begun, however, it ended when my father called to him from inside the study.
Quickly turning once more, I headed for the stairs, trying very hard not to think about why my heart was suddenly beating so fast—and desperately trying to calm it down.