Chapter 26
ELIZA
Jesse devoured my mouth like he might never get another chance, which was absurd. We were getting married, for heaven’s sake, and soon.
So why does it feel like this is some kind of declaration before goodbye?
My head spun, but when his fingers flexed on my hips, I realized that I didn’t care. We had the rest of our lives together to figure out why he felt like wanting me was wrong. An entire lifetime of kisses just like this to convince him that it—this—was real.
Upon that realization, I finally brought my hands up to his neck and pushed my fingers into his hair, holding him to me as I parted my lips. He took immediate advantage, his tongue stroking into my mouth to deepen the kiss.
For just a moment, my thoughts quieted, even my confusion taking a backseat as I kissed him back with every ounce of the longing I’d been feeling these last few weeks.
With his strong arms around me and the slight scrape of his day-old stubble against my skin, I pulled him closer, needing him to know that I didn’t want him to stop.
He groaned into my mouth and a shiver shot straight through me at the sound, lighting up all the parts of my body I’d been trying to ignore. But now that he was pressed flush against me, I was sandwiched between him and the wall and I felt giddy.
The boy I had feelings for was kissing me, hungrily, while he had one arm braced against the wall behind me, caging me in. This had never happened to me before, and it was a dream-come-true moment.
The fact that it was Jesse making it come true was absolutely scintillating. Tingles sped through my entire body as I melted into him, winding my arms around his neck and folding him as close to me as I could get.
“Fuck, Eliza,” he ground out between kisses, his voice tight. “Tell me to stop.”
“No.”
It was just that. Just that one simple word, but its effect on him was instantaneous. He let out a disbelieving sound, but his mouth crashed into mine with renewed fervor, his fingertips tightening on my hips.
I sucked in a breath, suddenly trembling as anticipation rolled through me. Jesse let out another low sound. “Please tell me that’s just because you’re cold.”
“No.” Gosh, I really am on a roll. So eloquent.
Once again, however, the word appeared to be his undoing, despite being the opposite of what you would expect him to want to hear under the circumstances. He ran his hands more firmly up my sides, not stopping until he was cupping my breasts.
“Oh.” I arched into him, not quite sure whether it was normal to be so utterly consumed by hormones that I’d been reduced to single syllables, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Especially not when his tongue slid against mine in the most delicious ways and his thumbs moved up to brush over my nipples.
Sparks of relief and pleasure shot through me, practically making my knees buckle as I moaned.
As if Jesse had sensed that my legs were no longer trustworthy, he brought one hand to my hip and his fingers held me in a bruising grasp that I adored. But I was also surprised by it. I hadn’t expected him to get so firm.
A moment later, he slowed his fervent kisses until his mouth left mine. He didn’t step away from me, though.
“Let’s go,” he murmured against my lips. “I’m not doing this here.”
Oh, thank God.
I’d thought he was putting an end to things again, but instead, his grip on my hips tightened and his other arm slid around me as well. Before I could ask what he was doing, he scooped me clean off my feet and picked me up as effortlessly as if I was a bag of potatoes.
Giggles erupted from my lips before I could stop them. My hands grabbed at his back to hold my balance as he strode down the hall. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere I don’t have to worry about either of us cracking our heads open if our legs give out.”
“You felt that?” Heat rushed to my cheeks, but as soon as he spoke, the embarrassment receded.
“Felt what? I was talking about myself.”
“You’re a real darling, trying to take the blame for it.”
He chuckled, one hand wrapping around my thigh to keep me safely across his shoulder. “Trust me, I’m not being gallant right now.”
There was an edge to his tone that I didn’t like, a sharper, almost dry note that made it sound like he thought himself something of a villain. Perhaps my imagination was simply overactive on account of all those books I’d read, but I couldn’t help feeling like something was amiss.
The living and dining rooms flashed at the edges of my vision as he strode to his destination, the hardwood floors gleaming under his feet. I literally hung on for the ride, my nerve endings too alive to ruin the mood by questioning his apparent guilt.
Trust me, I’m not being gallant right now.
The words repeated over and over through my head until I was tumbling—gently—onto a bed. When I refocused on my surroundings, I found myself in what appeared to be the master bedroom of the townhouse.
Or perhaps it was simply a much larger, much more lived-in guest room than my own. There was a large, open walk-in closet on one side that contained row upon row of somber, serious-colored suits, navy, black, and gray abounding.
Ties and belts hung neatly from mounted rails and even the shoes were more orderly than any such collection I’d ever seen. There was a backlit case filled with what appeared to be watches and cufflinks, certainly not the kind of thing I’d expect in a bedroom one would only be occupying temporarily.
But I supposed Jesse had moved in with Will. Perhaps he’d simply wanted to be comfortable instead of feeling like he was in limbo.
As my gaze sped around the room, I decided that had to be true. There were knickknacks on a dark wood dresser, a half-open drawer revealing piles of socks. Beyond the bedroom was also an en-suite bathroom, its counters filled with toiletries in precise rows.
Jesse stole my attention back to him when he stepped up to the bed. His fingers slowly worked on the buttons of his shirt, but those blue eyes were locked on mine. “I can give you a tour if you’d prefer.”
“Don’t you dare.” My gaze dropped away from his to follow the deft movements of his hands. My pulse quickened when he finally pulled the last bit of his shirt out of his trousers and flicked open the final button.
Without making much of a show of it, he let the shirt slide from his shoulders and it fluttered to the floor, revealing that same deliciously carved abdomen I’d seen in my bathroom back home.
Only it was different now because his eyes were laser focused on mine.
He reached for his belt and I gasped like an innocent little wallflower when he undid his fly next.
“You can stop me at any time, Eliza.”
I shook my head with so much enthusiasm that whiplash came to mind.
My mouth dried up as he kicked off his shoes, then bent over to remove his socks before pushing the trousers down.
They slid to his feet and he stepped out of them.
Those devastating blue eyes were half-lidded when I finally managed to look up at him again.
“You’re welcome to keep checking in on me. It’s very noble of you, but I’m not going to tell you to stop.”
His dark eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. “You sound pretty sure about that.”
“Oh, I’m absolutely certain.” I lay back on the mattress, my weight propped up on my elbows.
My gaze swept across his face, tracing the hard edges of the features I’d been longing to run my fingertips across.
“You said you wanted me, and as it happens, I feel the same way. There’s no point trying to deny that any longer, so unless you have a moral objection to ravishing me prior to our marriage, I don’t see why we should wait. ”
He groaned. “How is it that even dirty talk is polite when you’re British?”
I felt a slow, victorious smile spread on my lips. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“You used the words moral objection and ravishing instead of just asking if I’m going to fuck you.”
My heart skipped. With my insides contracting and my panties completely soaked, I watched as he stalked closer to the bed. The mattress dipped between my ankles when he slid a knee onto it.
“Well, are you?” I asked, my voice husky now too.
Jesse crawled up the mattress, sadly still wearing his tight-fitting black boxer-briefs, and shook his head once his eyes were level with mine. “Not tonight, my lady.”
Disappointment surged through me, the confusion slowly crawling back into my brain despite the current state of my body. “But you want to.”
A soft scoff came out of him. His eyes burned into mine, and he lowered his hips until they were cradled against mine, allowing me to feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that he didn’t only want me, but that his physical situation was as flagrantly desperate as my own.
“Yes, Eliza. I want to. Badly.” His hands traveled down my sides and then he slid lower too, looking up at me as he reached for my shoes and started removing them. “Just trust me, okay?”
As I held his gaze, I found myself nodding.
Because somehow, I really had come to trust him.
Jesse made my clothing disappear so fast, it felt like I’d blinked and missed it, and when I came to again, he was spreading my legs with large, warm hands, his knees on the floor and my bum right at the edge of the bed.
There was no time to prepare myself before his mouth was on me, hot, and wet, and sliding across every sensitive inch of me. I cried out, collapsing back on the bed and trying to keep myself from writhing so much that I’d slide right off the mattress.
This was divine, his touches gentle but firm, the pressure of his lips and the speed of his tongue combining to whip me into a complete, uninhibited frenzy. I finally planted my heels against the edge of the mattress and let my legs fall open as far as they could.
I lifted my head to look at him while he was taking me to previously unimaginable heights. His eyes were closed and his shoulder was moving. One of his hands was still on my leg but the other was gone and judging by those movements…
I moaned, my eyes slamming shut as heat and sparks sped through me.
I’d never felt anything like this before.
Never seen anything even nearly as erotic as that.
I was halfway to heaven already, brazen moans spilling out of me.
The pleasure wrapped me in its grasp, far too intense to contain myself.
I wouldn’t typically characterize myself as loud or demanding, but this situation was hardly typical.
“Yes!” I heard my own breathless voice screaming. “Oh, God. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
Jesse groaned against my core, a single finger circling my entrance before he slid it inside. I’d been touched before, but it had never been like this. Never so perfectly timed that it triggered the orgasm that had been building since he’d first pressed me into that wall.
My hands flew to his hair and my hips bucked as pleasure streaked through me. I felt my body shake and my toes curl, but I had zero control over any of it. Surrendering to the release, I simply rode it out, whimpering unintelligible phrases even I couldn’t comprehend.
Jesse stayed with me through it all, never varying his pace or stopping too soon.
He tensed after I’d stilled, and I heard a swift intake of breath followed by a soft groan.
More trembles ran through me, blissful little aftershocks that had me letting out another breathy moan, but then he disappeared.
The next thing I knew, a warm cloth was rubbing gently against me, cleaning me up. I murmured something, perhaps a thank you, but I still hadn’t even caught my breath yet when I felt him climb onto the bed with me.
The sheets rustled as he slid in behind me. He draped an arm around my middle after settling me on my side, fitting his front against my back and pressing a soft kiss to my neck.
“Sleep now, Eliza.”
“Did you…” I trailed off, but I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that I was entirely naked while his underwear was firmly in place.
It made me wonder if I’d been wrong before, but he exhaled a quiet breath that ghosted across my skin. “Yeah, I did. I wasn’t planning on it, but I couldn’t help myself.”
A delighted shudder traveled through me. “Good. I love that. It makes me happy.”
He let out a sigh that felt too heavy for this moment. “Good night, baby.”
“Good night,” I murmured, slowly becoming aware again of the fact that something was most definitely amiss.
I still had no idea why I was feeling this way, though. Everything was coming together beautifully and I was a romantic, falling hard for my intended. It should’ve felt perfect, but for some reason, Jesse seemed to be pulling away from me.
And while I didn’t know yet how to stop it, I was absolutely determined not to let it happen.