Chapter 41
WILL
If I kept this up, I was going to wear a path into my living room floor and become a professional pacer. To think, a month ago I’d hardly ever paced at all, but now, I kept going at it like the little engine that fucking could.
It was getting late, but sleep or even going to bed were the furthest things from my mind. Every second that ticked by felt like it was pressing a blade even deeper into my chest. Jesse was out on a date with Eliza.
My Eliza. Well, let’s be real. She’s just Eliza. Nothing of mine, but still.
I shoved a hand through my hair—again—and turned when I reached the unlit fireplace, my bare feet scuffing quietly against the floor. All my lights were on, but the room still managed to feel dim.
If anything, she’s his Eliza now.
I exhaled slowly, stopping when I reached the window and bracing my hands on the sill. Staring out at the city lights blurring in the distance, I wondered if they were still at dinner or if they’d gone home yet.
It was going to kill me, this constant speculation about what she was doing. Who she was doing it with. Just missing her was going to take an extra year off my life for every day we were apart.
Whatever happened to me though, I deserved it. I’d tricked her. Lied to her. She was right not to trust me. Why would she?
I’d given her absolutely every reason not to. Then, to add insult to injury, I hadn’t even fought for her. Instead, I’d told her that Jesse was a good guy and I’d asked him to take care of her, basically giving him permission to run off into the sunset with the woman I loved.
That was the part that I kept circling back to, over and over again. I hadn’t fought. I’d just stepped back and let Jesse take over.
I’d acted like I didn’t have a say in my own life. Pushing away from the window, I shook my head at myself. “Fucking idiot. That’s what you are.”
These last few days, I’d been telling myself it was respect, but it wasn’t. It was cowardice.
I stopped abruptly in the middle of the room, the realization dawning that I couldn’t keep doing this. If I did, I’d regret it forever and I couldn’t live that way. I couldn’t live the rest of my life with what-ifs and maybes hanging over me.
Jesse wasn’t in love with her right now, but he would be. One day. I needed to talk to her now, before I ended up waiting so long that I hurt her again and snapped my brother’s heart in half in the process.
Which meant I had to do it tonight. Not tomorrow. This had all gone completely way too fucking far already. Now.
Before it was too late.
I finally—fucking finally—stopped pacing and strode to the counter, grabbing my keys and heading for the door. Nate had told me that Eliza had left their condo a couple days ago, citing that they were newlyweds and that she’d stayed long enough.
At least she’d told Kate which hotel she’d checked into. Nate had told me, so here I was, the little engine that could turning to the little stalker that would. Yay for me.
Every red light I ran into on my way over felt personal, every slow-moving car in front of me a direct attack on the little patience I had left.
By the time I pulled up outside her hotel, my pulse was racing and I didn’t bother with valet, just pulling into the first available spot and jumping out, slamming the door behind me.
If anyone had asked me after what the lobby looked like, I would have denied ever even having been in the hotel for the amount of attention I paid.
I crossed straight to the front desk, the only part of the place that was important right now, and immediately offered the receptionist a smile that probably bordered on grotesque.
“Hi,” I said, my voice thankfully coming out calmer than I felt. “I’m here for Eliza Roderick.”
“Of course, sir. One moment.” The woman gave me a polite, professional smile as she typed on her computer.
I nodded, tapping my fingers lightly against the counter with my eyes flicking toward the elevators every so often, like she might step out of one at any second if I just kept checking.
The woman looked back up at me, the apologetic smile that preceded her words instantly making my stomach drop. “I’m sorry. Ms. Roderick checked out about three hours ago.”
Every bodily function I had stalled. “She checked out?”
“Yes sir, Mr. Westwood,” she said. “She requested one of our shuttles. We arranged transport to the airport.”
Mr. Westwood. Well, that’s great. Looks like we’re back on the news.
Gossip was the least of my worries right now, though. Word of Jesse’s engagement was bound to spread. I was actually a little surprised it had taken this long.
The more pressing issue was the fact that people didn’t just accidentally go to the airport. I barely even glanced at the receptionist again. “Thank you.”
Already spinning to run to my car, I didn’t notice any more of the lobby on my way out than I had on my way in. Traffic was horrific on the way to the airport, the drive a complete fucking disaster. It was gridlocked in places, inching forward at a pace that made my skin itch.
I gripped the steering wheel tight, my gaze scanning the lanes like I could somehow force them to move faster. Or to part for me. Neither of those things happened.
“Come on,” I muttered, tapping my fingers impatiently against the wheel. “Come on, people. Just come on.”
Every second mattered, every goddamn minute was another minute closer to her flight taking off. When I finally arrived at the airport, I was halfway out of my mind. I didn’t even think about finding parking, swinging the car into arrivals and immediately squealing to a stop.
Voices started shouting behind me the moment I opened my door. “You can’t park there!”
“Sir, move your vehicle!”
I left the engine running and the door open, not even glancing back as I ran, flatly ignoring everyone who tried to stop me. If it got towed, so be it. If I got fined, arrested, or even publicly humiliated, I didn’t give a shit.
As always, the airport itself was packed, but I pushed through the crowd, only paying attention to the announcements overhead enough that I’d pick it up if anyone said the words Heathrow or London.
The rest of the noise faded into the background, the people talking, the luggage wheels dragging across the floor, and even the occasional baby crying.
I made it as far as security before reality caught up with me. “Boarding pass, sir.”
Ah fuck. I hadn’t even thought about this little hiccup, but I still blinked at the agent, my hand automatically going to my pocket like one might just appear. Naturally, it didn’t.
“Yeah,” I said. “Of course.”
In my rush to dramatically chase down the woman I loved at an airport, I’d forgotten one very basic detail. You needed a ticket to get through TSA.
It had been a while since I’d flown commercial. Private terminals didn’t tend to come with long lines, impatient security agents, or the crushing realization that you couldn’t just walk through and fix your life.
“Sorry,” I muttered, stepping aside as the next person moved forward.
A ticket still wasn’t going to suddenly appear in my possession, though. Trying to come up with a plan, I stared at the barrier like it might magically grant me access if it sensed my sheer desperation, but it seemed unlikely that would actually work.
Come on, think. There’s got to be a way.
I turned sharply when I remembered that these terminals didn’t only have people asking for boarding passes. They also had departure boards, but weirdly there wasn’t a flight to London listed for at least the next couple hours. I made my way back over to where people were checking their bags.
“Excuse me,” I said to a woman behind the counter, ignoring the angry looks I got from people waiting in line. I would be quick. “Have there been any recent departures to London? Heathrow or Gatwick?”
She glanced at her screen and clicked around quickly. “There was one about an hour ago.”
An hour. A whole fucking hour. Fuck.
“Do you have a passenger list?” I asked even though I knew she was on that plane. I just… I could feel it.
She hesitated, eyeing me briefly like she was trying to decide if I was about to become her problem, but something about me must’ve let her know that I was just desperate. Not dangerous.
“I can check the manifest,” she said carefully.
“That would be great. Thank you. I’m hoping to find out if an Eliza Roderick boarded. I’m… she’s my girlfriend and I was an asshole. I was hoping to catch her before they took off.”
She clicked a few more times before she looked up at me. “Yes, sir. Eliza Roderick boarded Flight 549 to Heathrow almost two hours ago, and as I said, that plane took off just over an hour ago. There were no delays.”
That was it. I was done. She was gone.
I nodded, even though it felt like my body had just disintegrated. “Yeah. Okay. I thought as much. Thank you.”
Turning on my heels, I walked away with the noise of the airport swelling around me this time. Eliza was gone.
I made it to a row of seats before it hit me properly. My knees buckled with the weight of the realization and I dropped into one of the chairs with my elbows braced on my knees, staring at the floor.
I’d missed her—and not by minutes. Not by some narrow, cinematic margin where I could still run through the terminal and catch her at the gate. An hour.
A full you-had-your-chance-and-you-blew-it hour.
I leaned back slowly and let my head tip back against the seat. People moved around me in a constant blur, families, business travelers, and couples saying quick goodbyes or distracted hellos.
Their lives were going on while mine had just taken a serious nosedive. I’d stepped back when it had mattered and now she was gone.
A sudden burst of movement to my right pulled my attention and I focused just in time to see a woman rushing into the terminal, slightly out of breath and frantically scanning the crowd. “Daniel!”
Her voice cut through all the other noise and I leaned forward, wondering if at least she was going to get her happy ending. She raced over to the security line, her eyes darting over all the people waiting.
“Daniel!”
A man near the front of the line turned slowly. He looked exactly how I felt. Tired. Defeated. Like he’d already accepted something he didn’t want to, but everything about him changed when he saw her.
“Lisa?” He didn’t hesitate, just vaulted the barrier like a world class athlete and ignored the immediate protests from security around him.
He didn’t pay attention to the startled looks from the other passengers either, just sprinting to her. She met him halfway and they collided more than embraced, their arms wrapping around each other like they were holding on for dear life.
I wasn’t sure if it was a romantic, teary goodbye or the start of something new, but as I watched them, I realized that this was it. Neither of them had hesitated or taken a polite step back, and suddenly, I knew exactly what I needed to do. Exactly what I was fighting for.
Even if my family balked or we drew public scrutiny. Even if it blew up in ways I couldn’t even begin to predict. None of that mattered. Hell, in comparison to losing her, none of those things were even a blip on my radar.
I pushed to my feet, resolve spreading through me like wildfire. I was going to get her back. No matter what it took.