Chapter 32
Rami's POV
“Grandma Julia?”
My voice is soft as I enter the front sitting room where she’s rocking and knitting. The soft click of her needles and squeak of her chair acting more like a balm to help ease my nerves. The familiarity of it after the day we’ve had is a pleasant reminder of how far we’ve—I’ve come.
“Hmmm?” she hums deeply.
I sit on the couch near her, though she doesn’t look up from her project. I know she’s still paying me attention. The woman is a master of multitasking.
“I would like to have a very frank conversation with you.” My tone is even, no anger or disdain dripping into my voice. I need her to know I’m trying to be rational and not petulant, as many see me. A tactic I likely should have tried before today.
But after three days of worrying about Adriel, I can’t take it anymore. I need to see him.
Picking up on the seriousness of my words, she carefully tucks her project into her bag and turns to give me her full attention. “I believe this conversation will require a drink and a treat. My mother always said hard conversations were easier with a dessert in your hands.”
The smile that curls up my lips is possibly the most real one I’ve ever given her. It’s also the first time I think she’s ever told me anything about her parents. That thought sobers me a tad, but also adds to my elation.
She’s feeling this change between us too. And that has me even more hopeful.
She pats my hand that’s resting on my leg, reassuring me with her calm strength. How had I never noticed any of this before? Was I blind to these moments, or were they truly not present before?
“Would you like some help?” I offer, hoping to continue the amicability of our interaction. Butter her up more to beg for my freedom.
Her warm blue eyes, identical to mine, meet my gaze and soften before she dips her chin.
We work quietly as I slice us both a large helping of the cheesecake that’s finally cooled, smothering them both in her homemade strawberry sauce.
With plates and forks in hand, I walk into the sitting room and wait.
She joins me a minute later with two glasses of soda.
After handing me one, she holds hers out toward me, and I clink my glass against hers.
We both take a large sip. The smooth and spicy bubbles of the ginger beer hit me first before the burn of the alcohol hits the back of my throat.
My eyes widen in surprise as hers sparkle with delight.
“My father would say that a smooth cocktail made apologies easier to swallow.”
I just stare at her. Incredulous. A laugh bubbles up from deep in my soul, bursting out with joy that echoes off the walls. Grandma Julia follows suit with me, both of us holding our middles as we attempt to rein in our chuckles.
“I’ve never heard you talk about your parents before,” I admit, taking another sip before digging into her famous cheesecake.
She shrugs as if that’s the most common thing in the world. “They’ve been gone for so long, it didn’t feel pertinent. And perhaps I didn’t know how to really share that with you. My father was the town’s pastor. They were both very strict, but that wasn’t terribly uncommon back then.”
My brows pinch in and I feel bad for not making this transition easy on her either. I hadn’t realized how much we were both hurting. Too clouded by my own pain.
“It’s likely no secret that I didn’t do right by your mother.
Your grandfather and I moved here to get away from our parents and when I had your mother, I found myself falling into the same rhythm as my parents.
By the time I realized what I had done, it was too late.
When I heard about what you did, something began eating me up from the inside and I thought—” her voice trails off as she clears her throat of the budding sadness.
“I thought maybe God would forgive me for messing up your mother so badly that maybe He was giving me a second chance.”
It takes me a few tries, but I manage to swallow the lump lodged in my throat and blink away the tears building up on my lower lashes.
“That was the first time I’d ever experimented with drugs before,” I admit.
The reminder of that night flooding my memories like a tidal wave.
And then I relived that night with her—the fear, the pain, the darkness. All of it.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” The smallness in her voice forces my attention, and I meet her eyes. Finally meet her eyes.
“I did…er, I tried. Several times. But no one wanted to listen to me.” Tears fill my eyes until they stream down my cheeks, blurring her reddened gaze from view. “One shitty mistake and I watched the life I had so carefully built crumble to dust.”
“I didn’t know then. And I think I allowed others' voices to drown out my reasoning. Which caused me to repeat the same mistakes.”
Grandma Julia turns until she’s facing me head on, our knees touching gently. Her hands grasp tightly onto mine, squeezing her strength into me.
“When you ran off, I thought about our last words; prayed about them. Prayed they wouldn’t be our last. It was the sheriff who insisted I switch your door and screw the windows shut.He even sent over a handyman at no charge to do it.
All the while I prayed. Harder and harder each day.
It felt as if a stone sat in my stomach and wouldn’t go away.
I sought solace in old family pictures, which is when I realized what was happening.
“God spoke to me in those old pictures. Reminders of my childhood and your mother’s. I believe the internet calls it generational trauma.”
Once again, I can’t contain the laugh that erupts from my lips. “You did an internet search?” I ask, teasing lightly to soften the somber mood.
“I’m not as helpless with technology as you think, young man,” she snaps back, her teasing lilt matching mine. “I lived alone for a long time before you came along.”
One of her hands leaves mine and cups my cheek. Her warmth infiltrates my skin, easing the soul-deep ache I didn’t know I had.
“I’m here now, and I’m finally listening. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get here, but I hope it’s not too late. This should be your home, and I’m not your warden. However, I will not compromise on your safety.”
I nod along with her words, leaning into her touch. “It’s not too late, Grandma.” A soft smile curls up her pink lips, wrinkling around her eyes beautifully. “I will attempt to be more present here with you as you need, too. The fault of our situation does not solely fall on your shoulders.”
“Then how about we settle for some new ground rules?”
“I’d love that.”
After our touch and gaze lingers, we return to our cheesecake and Tennessee Mules. The two of us taking turns, laying out what we need from each other.
“I would like you home for dinner each night. Families should eat together.”
I nod, knowing that would be one of her requests. “I would like to have access to my money. I earned all of that through hard work.” She starts to open her mouth to argue, but I hold up my hand. “I will provide receipts for everything because I know you have to provide evidence to the courts.”
“Thank you,” she says with a grateful tilt of her head. “I don’t like it when you come home injured or covered in bruises.”
“I’ve tried avoiding them. Different routes, times, outrunning them. I assure you, I didn’t do anything to provoke their hatred. They told me I don’t belong in their town.”
Her lips pinch in, revealing a brief glimpse of anger. Though it feels strange now that it’s not aimed at me. “You are my family and belong here with me. If it happens again, we’ll file an assault charge with the sheriff.”
My jaw nearly hits the floor in surprise. This is a better reaction than I could have imagined.
“I would like you to attend church with me, but I will not require it.”
“Going to church with you is not a hardship.” I will continue to go since I have no qualms with her God, just the judgmental people in the church.
“I can’t say I understand your attraction to the same gender, nor do I agree with it, but I do love you.
” The shock must be plainly written on my face, if the gentle smile on hers is any consolation.
“I do love you, Rami. The Bible also teaches us not to place judgement on others and to love as God does. And because I’m human, I will likely stumble, but I will try to do better. For you.”
I leap from the couch and wrap my grandmother into a tight hug which she returns with a heavy sigh. “That means the world to me, Grandma.”
Taking a few more seconds to breathe in this monumental moment between us, I then sit back on the couch. I need to return to why I wanted to speak with her in the first place.
“I’ve met someone.”
She nods, thoughtfully. “And that’s where you’ve been going when you sneak out, I presume?”
“It is.” No point in denying it. “But it’s complicated. I can only see Adriel at night, and something in my gut is telling me he needs my help right now.”
She chuckles lightly. “You have the intuition of a woman,” she muses, and I can’t help but smile along with her.
I take a deep breath to steel my nerves. The gauntlet must be thrown down if we are truly going to move forward from all of this. “If I’m not allowed to see him, I will continue to sneak out or run away.”
“Do you love him?”
“Maybe?” I shrug. “It’s still fairly new, but I think it’s definitely blossoming into love.”
“Then what is so complicated? Is he married?”
“Grandma! Have a little faith in me,” I tease.
She holds her hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry.” Though the sweet smile never leaves her face.
“H-He’s a cursed witch who lives in the woods,” I mumble.
Her head bobs along with the rocking of her chair. “Well, I’d definitely say that complicates things.”
“That’s it? You just believe me?” I question, flabbergasted.
She lifts one shoulder in a faint shrug, taking a sip of her drink. “I nearly ruined our relationship before we had a chance to get started because I didn’t listen to you from the beginning.
“But,” she enunciates with a snap. “You will remain safe when you visit him, and no more sneaking out. You let me know when you’re leaving so I don’t have to worry as much. And never before dinner, or if you haven’t completed your schoolwork for the day.”
“Deal,” I say, wiping away the tears of joy.
“Now rush off. I’ll clean up.” I push up from the couch and rush to the doorway of the sitting room. “And, Rami?” I pause, turning to face my grandmother. “Do be safe, please.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I quickly rush to my room to pack a bag with a first aid kit, just in case.
By the time I’ve returned to the main house, Grandma Julia is in the kitchen cleaning up our dishes.
She slides me a small bag of snacks to take with me.
I wrap her in a big bear hug, thanking her profusely before I leave out the back door.
By the time I hit the treeline, the sun is just starting to set, which means Adriel is getting his day started. I rush along the familiar path toward Adriel’s territory, no longer needing to look behind me. With Grandma Julia’s blessing, I walk through the woods much more confident.
Worry for Adriel stitches through every cell. If his home sustained damage like the rest of the town, then he needs me.
Leaping over a fallen tree, I keep my focus straight ahead to prevent myself from getting lost. And to keep myself from injuring myself again.
That would be romantic.
I’m here to save you, but could you help me first?
I pause, glancing around the changed landscape.
Panic momentarily makes my heart skyrocket.
Branches, leaves, and debris are everywhere.
The hope that being this deep in the woods, everything would have been protected appears to have been a na?ve dream.
My eyes search for anything familiar to keep me on the right path, sheer determination the only thing keeping me going at this point.
It takes me nearly twice as long as usual to get to his territory, the sun having fully set a while ago. I click off the flashlight I had to use the last part of my trek before the torches of his home light up my path, like a beacon, inviting me into his space.
What greets me, stops me hard in my tracks.
The usually grand flower bed, filled with every color of Agastache imaginable, is decimated.
One lone row stands pitifully against the backdrop of utter disaster.
The ruin streaks through the landscape like scars from a flooded stream.
Fallen branches and leaves are everywhere.
“Adriel?” I cry out into the night, the terror impossible to hide from my voice. Dropping my bag near his home, I peek inside before rushing around to find him.
A pained groan has me turning on my heels to find Adriel lying prone in the dirt amongst a pile of branches. Not moving.
“Adriel!” I scream and run to his side.