Chapter 34
Rami's POV
Iremain at Adriel’s side until his eyes close, and he fades from view. A sharp pang in my chest always happens whenever I watch him vanish like he does. Knowing he’ll come back stronger tomorrow is the only thing keeping me from losing my shit.
Slipping my phone out, I quickly throw a text out to Grandma Julia to let her know I’ll be out longer than planned and that I would explain once I got home.
My thumb hesitates over the send button, old insecurities threatening to topple my house of cards.
We promised each other we’d do better, and I need to stick with that.
Returning my phone to my back pocket after I suck it up and manage to send the message, I continue cleaning up Adriel’s garden until I can barely keep my eyes open. I glance around at my handiwork. I managed to get most of the way through today. But a nap is necessary.
Well, that and a shower. Not in that order.
I’ll set an alarm to make sure I’m back before Adriel awakens. Should get me a bit more time to finish up.
I don’t even realize I make it home until Grandma Julia’s shocked inhale snaps me out of the fog I was in the whole trek.
“Rami, are you okay?”
I glance down at myself, covered in sweat and dirt. “I’m sorry, Grandma. I was gardening and should have shaken myself off better.”
“No, no, no.” She approaches me slowly, her hands out as if she doesn’t really know what to do. “Well, yes. Cleaning yourself before coming inside would be appreciated, but dirt can be cleaned. Why don’t you go shower up and I’ll make you some food before you nap.”
I nod and shuffle my feet through the house, doing exactly as asked before eventually plopping down onto the bed.
I don’t even bother crawling under the covers.
But when my alarm goes off and I wake up, there’s a blanket draped over me.
Warmth fills my chest knowing Grandma Julia is looking out for me, exactly as she promised.
Speaking of grandmothers, she’s setting out dinner for the two of us as I emerge from the back rooms.
“How’d you sleep?” she asks, carrying the plates to the table as I slide into my chair.
“Good.”
She blesses our food, and we dig in with companionable silence. I know she’s dying to know why I stayed out so long and why I was in such a state when I returned, but she’s not pushing it.
“His name is Adriel. The hurricane destroyed his home, which weakened him. So, I had to clean everything up so he could even function.”
“You said he’s cursed. How so?”
I shrug as I shovel another bite in my mouth.
“Apparently the curse prevents him from saying anything about it. What I’ve figured out is he only emerges at night, he’s trapped in a small territory in the woods, he can’t stand to be touched, and somehow his Agastache garden is linked to his strength. ”
“Agastache?”
I nod.
“What a lovely flower. It’s closed now, but I can run into town tomorrow to pick up more plants if that’ll help. Not sure how you’ll get them out to the woods.”
“You’d really do that for me?”
“Of course, dear. This Adriel sounds like he’s your person. I promised you I’d be supportive. If he needs the flower to be strong, I’ll buy him all the flowers he needs.”
“Thank you.” I blink back the swell of tears.
“I assume you’re returning to him tonight?”
“If that’s okay. I didn’t quite finish cleaning everything up this morning, so I need to return and help him.” She nods, and we both eat a few bites. “Can I borrow a few yard tools?”
“Yes, just remember to please be careful.”
After dinner, she packs me another bag of snacks while I rummage through the shed to grab the loppers and an axe. They should make the cleanup go quite a bit faster. I hope, anyway. With a farewell hug, I thank her again as I return to Adriel. And immediately get to work when I arrive.
My heart stutters when I watch him emerge from his home and his gaze meets mine. I drop the axe into the large branch I’m breaking up and rush to his side.
“Adriel,” I coo. My eyes never settle as I drink him in, making sure he’s safe and feeling better. The dark circles under his eyes are gone, and the sickly pallor has darkened again. “You look like you’re feeling better.”
“I am. Thanks to you.”
My breath lodges in my throat as his eyes darken the longer he stares at me. Almost as if I can feel him boring into my soul and wedging himself there. Honestly, it’s where he belongs.
In a flash, he lunges at me and turns us around so that I’m pinned up against the side of his home.
His large hand plants firmly over my racing heart.
Slowly, he lowers his head until his lips hover over mine.
I assume he’s going to remain there as usual, but when he closes the distance, our lips press together.
Stars burst behind my eyes at the feel of his soft lips. Our mouths open together as our tongues touch. Adriel growls faintly, turning out to be the sexiest sound—who would have thought I’d be into growling?
When my mind finally catches up with what’s happening, the faint tingle of his touch sets off a warning alarm. I attempt to pull back, knowing he must be in excruciating pain. He won’t let me. In fact, he deepens the kiss until the only air I’m breathing in is from him.
However, it’s not meant to last. Adriel’s knees give out and he stumbles to the ground, his body convulsing and his face scrunched up in immense pain.
It takes me several seconds of shock before I drop down next to him. I make sure to place my hand over his clothes in what I hope is a comforting gesture.
“Adriel, why would you do that?” I want to yell, to scold him. Beg him to stop hurting himself.
“You are worth the pain,” he groans.
And all arguments I have die.
“That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” I push a few strands of hair off his forehead, making sure not to cause him anymore pain. “Are you strong enough to get to the fire? I’ll make us some tea and then we can get some food in you.”
His head bobs up and down, making more of his hair spill free from its tie.
I hate walking away from him, but it’s not like I can help him stand.
So, I busy myself with fetching water and putting it on the fire while he slowly moves himself to a chair.
I hand him the plastic container of food Grandma packed, and he looks at it like it’s a foreign treasure. Though I suppose it is for him.
“They’re leftovers from dinner. Grandma Julia packed them for you. I have some bread, cheese, and cookies too.”
“Your grandmother packed all of this?” I nod as I rip off a chunk of bread and pop a slice of cheese into my mouth. “I didn’t think she was kind to you.”
That’s the understatement of the century. “It’s almost like a spell has been broken between us. When I ran away, she prayed for answers, which seems to be the catalyst that fixed what was broken between us. Could it have been a spell? Someone manipulating my life for some sick game?”
Something dark passes over Adriel’s face, and I can sense he wants to say something but doesn’t—or can’t.
So, I blow it off and continue thinking I’m both onto something and possibly overthinking it at the same time.
“Anyway, she and I had a good, long talk. We both apologized and promised to do better. So far it seems like she’s trying. ”
“Is this what you want?” He blinks away whatever was eating him up a moment ago, focusing back on me. The man is in pain, and yet still patient as he thinks of me first.
I shrug, because it’s the most honest answer. “I’ve never had a real family before.”
“And a family is what you want?”
I rock my hand back and forth, not fully sure how to answer. “Honestly, I just want to be wanted.” Clearing my throat, I blink away the welling emotions and focus on the handsome man sitting next to me.
Distracting myself by pouring us both a mug of tea, doing my best to avoid meeting his eyes when I hand him the mug. The silence between us lingers and is, thankfully, not rife with tension.
“Rami,” Adriel says softly. Hesitantly, I drag my attention up to his warm gaze. “I want you.”
Instinctively, I reach out to touch him but pull back remembering him writhing on the ground earlier. So, I pull away. And every inch of space feels like I’m being sucker-punched. I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees.
“You can’t want me,” I whisper.
I hear Adriel shuffling around, but refuse to look up and see pity or disgust on his face.
“Even though my grandmother is trying to trust me more, she hasn’t released me from my court order. Meaning she’s still my legal guardian. So I can’t be my own person until I’m free of that.”
“Does your current predicament have anything to do with those?” I don’t need to look where he’s pointing to know exactly what he’s referring to. My eyes catch on the raised pink scars along my wrist. My thumb traces over one absentmindedly.
“Yes,” I squeak and cringe. Taking a sip of tea, I let the warmth seep into my soul and beg it to take the pain away. “I went out with some friends one night after crushing my exams that week. I was floating on a high.”
I smile, remembering how ecstatic I felt. There had been so much studying that a night of fun was well-earned.
“As usual, I remained in control. I drank more water than alcohol. With my mother having had substance issues, I never wanted to put myself in that situation. I was not my mother.
“But the night took on a new twist when someone pulled out a bag of ‘shrooms. I was adamantly against it at first. However, the high I was riding on felt like the perfect opportunity.
Tack on being surrounded by friends who assured me a small dose for my first time would be harmless.
Turned into a perfect storm, and I had an extreme reaction to them.
“The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital after having slit my wrists.” Tears blur my vision at the memory.
“It’s gotten better over the past two years, but for the longest time the panic still flared up at random.
The memory of that night haunted me for a long time.
But by the time I got back to normal, my life was already out of my hands.
And everyone I thought was my friend had abandoned me. ”
Well, not everyone. Sawyer was always there when I needed him.
Each of those precious stolen moments in the hallway as he checked on me whenever I needed it.
Or when I awoke in the hospital and his hand wrapped around mine was the first thing I saw.
He was there. No matter what. His strong arms a shield against the rest of the world.
“Except for Sawyer,” I say softly, clearing my throat to continue.
“He was a professor at my school. Though he hadn’t been my professor in a year, we still had to keep our relationship a secret.
I’m the one who broke it off with him. I didn’t want to drag him down with me.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still see the hurt look on his face. And it crushes me.”
My nostrils flare as I attempt to rein in my frazzled emotions. Tears drip past my defenses, landing on the backs of my hands.
“I’m not strong, Adriel,” I garble through my tears, shaking my head. “Not worth anyone's pain.”
A warm hand presses into my back, scalding the skin beneath my T-shirt. Reminding me I’m not alone and I just spilled my guts to the guy I have the biggest crush on. Though claiming it as a crush, even just in my head, feels like I’m doing our connection a disservice.
A self-deprecating chuckle blubbers from my lips as I wipe my eyes with the backs of my hand.
I push up from my seat, barely choking back the sobs that refuse to subside.
Taking another step away from Adriel, I attempt to create more distance between us before he turns me away.
Brush me off like everyone else has done.
“Wait.” Adriel’s deep tone is sharper than normal, making me halt my retreat.
His large, warm hand returns to my back, sending a shiver down my spine from anticipation.
“You don’t get to tell me what I should do or feel.”
I want to cry when he removes his hand, but when his strong chest presses into my back, I lean into it. His breath blows against my ear, his lips mere millimeters from touching the shell.
“Magical mushrooms should only ever be monitored by a witch. Your friends were imbecilic and don’t deserve your frustration.
I am sorry for all the pain you have been through, but I also can’t be too mad about it.
Because it’s made you into one of the strongest men I’ve ever encountered.
And because it brought you to me. My existence was mundane before you fell into my life. ”
His hands settle on my hips and force me to turn so that I’m facing him. Adriel lowers his head until our noses are nearly touching and his eyes are searing into mine.
“I can’t promise you much beyond my reach, but I will give you everything I can. Despite my best attempt to keep you at arm’s length, you own a part of my heart I didn’t know I still had.”
Tears pool along my lower lashes, spilling down my cheeks. “Adriel.” His whispered name sounds like a plea falling from my lips.
Carefully, his fingers tangle through my hair, preventing me from escaping—not that I’m going to go anywhere. Anymore. “Rami.” A shiver of electricity runs through my body, his power tickling along my skin and enveloping me into his hold.