27. Friends
Friends
Vedder
I couldn’t move as she retreated one step after another. Then she turned and walked away, her body disappearing into the dark.
“Melody…” I whispered. “At least take the SUV home. Here.”
I fished for the keys, but she didn’t hear me. Or she chose not to hear me. She walked and walked, and I couldn’t even make myself run to her.
Lightning and the headlights of other cars both lit the way of Melody leaving me behind.
“Fuck.” Daria was at my side, though I didn’t hear her heels.
In the back of my mind, through the pain, I wondered how she walked in those damn things. Her feet had to be soaked.
I couldn’t even remember what kind of shoes she was wearing! I just knew that anything would be inadequate for the god damn downpour.
“Dar, please…give her a ride home. Please. I don’t want her out in this.” The words tore at my already broken heart, the pain the only thing keeping me from raging and vomiting at the same time. “Please.”
I pointed to where Melody had disappeared down the road.
“It’s fucking pouring. Please.” I pleaded like a child on the verge of a tantrum. “She won’t get in the car with me, please get to her. Please!”
I didn’t want her to get sick. I didn’t want her to walk home alone. I didn’t want her to feel alone, especially on my account.
“Alright, alright!” Daria went to her red sports car, her keys lighting it up as it unlocked.
Once she drove away, I began to pace. My boots were waterproof, but in this much water, it didn’t matter. I was soaked to the bone.
Not that I felt any of it.
I had no idea how to fix this. I didn’t know if I could fix this.
I should have told her.
I was a fucking idiot. An idiot!
I had thought fucking up my life five years ago was bad, but this was infinitely worse. Unimaginably worse. The kind of worse I wasn’t sure I’d survive. But maybe I wouldn’t want to survive it.
I was careless. Outright stupid.
I thought I could use my role to protect her. To help her. Save her.
I held it in. I kept my intentions close to my chest, and the moment I told anyone, the moment I was ready to jump in…I’d lost everything.
Like sand through my fingertips, the more I tried to hold on, the more it slipped away.
“Melody,” I mumbled to myself as my hands fell to my sides, too heavy to even keep up. “Nothing is fine.”