Chapter Twenty-Eight
El
I’d been planning on telling Matt how I felt tonight. It seemed like the perfect time— after the pressure of the semester was over, after a performance I miraculously pulled off, after a night out together filled with fun and laughter.
But when one shot of intended liquid courage turned to two, then three, then four, on top of a few other drinks, my brain was not competent for that conversation.
I’d already told him at the start of our outing that I had something to share with him later, and he’d been bugging me all night to tell him sooner.
I might’ve set myself up for failure tonight.
Matt steadied me as I stumbled to his room, and of course, even after having the same number of drinks as me, he was hardly affected at all.
Collapsing onto his bed, I made a snow angel atop the covers.
Matt’s howl of laughter caused my heart to palpitate, and he set a neatly folded t-shirt at the foot of the bed.
“I’m gonna go get you some water,” he said.
As he disappeared from the room, I grew tempted to follow him. I’d been practically glued to his side all night, which wasn’t typical of me, but the more I fed into the idea of us being together, the more I wanted it to be true.
With alcohol pumping through me, logical thinking was not on the agenda. I could feel the jaunty grin on my face just from watching Matt place a full glass of water on the nightstand beside me.
He laughed at me again. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you this drunk.”
Our combined high school graduation party came to mind, when the night ended with me soundlessly passed out on the couch and Matt’s head in the toilet.
“What about our high school grad party?”
“I was drunk. You were tipsy,” he pointed.
Playfully, I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”
Matt sat on the bed, and I wanted to jump up and taste his boyish grin. At this point, he was studying his phone and I was studying him, and that little devil on my shoulder was whispering in my ear to do bad things.
He tossed his phone aside. “So, what did you wanna tell me?” he asked again, the utmost sincerity cloaking him.
My eyes fluttered to a close, because if I was looking at him any longer right now, I would’ve lost all control.
“We can talk about it later,” he said softly.
The bed dipped as he went to push himself to stand, and my hand flew out. “No,” I panicked. “Stay.”
The only light was the small lamp on his nightstand, covering the room with a dim, just bright enough to notice
brown eyes staring at me in confusion. Matt didn’t move. He was trying to decode me right now, and I was doing the same.
Scooting closer, I swallowed. “Stay.”
Liquid courage was turning to liquid temptation. My mouth ran dry. Matt was locked in place, his eyes dropping to my lips as they inched closer to his.
“El...” he whispered, unsure.
His gruff voice rolled a shiver throughout my body, and I wondered if he noticed it the way I noticed his irregular breathing.
Ever so lightly, my lips met the corner of Matt’s mouth, barely touching his skin.
“El,” he leapt off the bed, backing against the nearest wall for separation. From me.
I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or a lifetime leading up to this rejection that was making me want to cry.
A thud sounded as Matt dropped his head against the wall. From the way his chest was rapidly rising and falling, one would think he just ran a marathon.
“You don’t... You don’t want me?” I quietly breathed.
“El,” Matt melted, “it’s not that at all.”
My hands covered my face, shivering with embarrassment. Had I had it wrong this whole time? If that’s the case, just get the heart stab over with and I’ll pretend it never happened in the morning.
It came out muffled as I spoke into my hands. “Then what?”
“Of course, I want you. But you’re way too drunk.”
Hands sliding from my face and running quickly over my throat, I could feel my sporadic pulse beating against my skin. The energy in the room kept shifting at a million miles an hour, and I couldn’t keep up.
“El,” Matt’s voice turned sharp, “you know how I feel about you.”
All my drunk ass did was shake my head at the floor.
Two hands planted on either side of me, and I jumped slightly. Matt’s face was a foot away, features fierce as his throat twitched. “I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you my whole life.”
Staring at him in shock, my cheeks burned. A dozen possible reactions slammed through my mind, but none of them were happening. I was frozen, completely jarred from the words. I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting tonight, but it definitely wasn’t that.
Reflexes slowed from the alcohol consumption that had been overboard, I didn’t have a chance to react before Matt stood. I questioned what his next move was going to be. I still wanted him to stay.
But his bear paw of a hand found the back of my head, fingers lingering through my hair for only a second before he leaned down, letting his lips make a home on my forehead. Then, he walked out without another word.
Well, that didn’t go as planned.