Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
[RONAN]
What had he done?
Ronan paced, running his claws through his fur, constantly glancing back at Harlem to make sure he was still breathing.
He hadn’t meant to hurt him. He’d had a rough day, and all he’d wanted to do was wrap himself around Harlem for the rest of the evening and cuddle.
He always felt better with Harlem in his arms. He liked that Harlem wanted to play with him, accepted the distraction for what it was, but he should’ve known better.
He’d needed to get himself under control before playing those kinds of games.
Otherwise, he’d end up hurting his mate. Like he had tonight.
Mate.
Gods, he’d mated him. His instincts had been screaming at him to do it for weeks, but he’d always held back.
He’d wanted to have a conversation first, to tell Harlem about the pull he felt and ask if Harlem felt the same way, but one thing or another always distracted them before he could.
It was frustrating and one of the reasons he was so irritated when he got home, since he’d been interrupted from having that conversation just that morning.
He swore, if Harlem came out of this okay, he’d make sure his pack never entered his home without permission again.
Harlem deserved his full attention, even if it meant locking the doors and taking away his home as the favorite gathering place.
He’d already been considering it. They’d interrupted him one too many times already.
A whine escaped him at the thought of Harlem not being okay.
He’d considered asking for Torlinda to come look at him, to make sure he was okay, but he was still riled up and just the thought of anyone getting near Harlem right now made him want to attack.
He could only wait and hope that he could either get himself under control or Harlem would wake up.
Harlem shifting on the bed made Ronan’s head snap around.
The sweet kitsune buried his face against the blankets, fighting waking up like he always did in the mornings.
It only took a few days after he moved in before Ronan figured out Harlem didn’t just make his classes late so Dorian could feed without waking him.
Harlem didn’t like waking up in general.
The only way Ronan could get him to wake up with a smile was with copious amounts of snuggles and kisses.
He ached to give him that now, to wrap himself around the smaller man and lick the bite mark to make it better.
He stopped himself because he wasn’t sure if Harlem would be okay with that.
He’d mated him without permission. If Harlem wanted to have him arrested and the bond they now shared magically broken, he was fully within his rights to do it.
Sitting up with a gasp, Harlem put a hand on his chest, grimacing like he was in pain. Ronan took a step forward, hands outstretched, and just barely held himself back from pulling his mate into his arms.
“Harlem…”
Harlem jerked around, wincing when the sharp movement must’ve tugged on the bite on his neck.
He reached for it automatically and another whine escaped him when he saw the pain flash across Harlem’s face.
The pain was quickly followed by recognition and when those amber eyes widened and landed on him again, Ronan was swamped with so much guilt, it threatened to suffocate him.
“Harlem… I’m so sorry…”
[HARLEM]
Harlem’s head was spinning, a dizzying array of emotions coming at him from every direction.
It was the pain that had woken him, so sharp it felt like someone was stabbing him in the chest, but there was so much more than just that.
It was like he could feel the emotions of everyone within two miles.
Like he could feel the emotions of the whole pack…
He reached for the bite mark, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. He hadn’t just riled Ronan into knotting him. He’d pushed him so far, he’d mated him. They were mates.
The whine that came from Ronan was heart wrenching and enough to pull Harlem’s attention from the swirl of emotions he felt from that realization.
Ronan stood near the foot of the bed, his ears pinned back and so much heartache on his face, he looked close to tears.
A responding pulse of guilt hit Harlem hard enough to make him sway, and it took everything he had not to let the emotion crush him.
“Ronan…”
“I’m so sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have– I wanted to talk to you about it– I didn’t mean to–”
Never in the entire time he’d known him had Harlem ever seen Ronan so lost for words. The whine that followed his rambling was almost painful to hear and Harlem moved automatically, crawling across the bed to throw himself into Ronan’s arms.
“It’s okay. Shh… I’m okay.”
“I shouldn’t have–” Ronan croaked, his voice cutting out as tears spilled onto Harlem’s naked skin. The thought of his boyfriend, his mate, so upset that he was in tears broke Harlem’s heart.
“I’m not upset, Ronan. Please don’t cry,” he sniffled, fighting his own tears as he hugged Ronan a little tighter.
Ronan was actually shaking, his arms wrapped so tightly around Harlem’s body that it almost hurt. Harlem didn’t care. If this was what Ronan needed, he’d take it. Whatever he could do to make his mate feel better.
“I’m sorry,” Ronan murmured.
“I’m not.”
The response must’ve been the opposite of what Ronan was expecting because he jerked back, looking at Harlem like he’d lost his mind. “You’re… not?”
Shaking his head rapidly, he put his hands on the sides of Ronan’s face a lot like Ronan did for him whenever he was upset.
It always made him feel safe and cherished and he wanted Ronan to feel the same way.
“I love you, Ronan. I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.
I’m not sorry that we’re mated. I love it. ”
The connection he’d felt with Ronan before paled in comparison to their bond now that they were mated.
It felt like he’d handed over his soul to Ronan for safe keeping, knowing Ronan would do everything in his power to protect it.
Like he was no longer just Harlem, but part of something more and finally whole for the first time in his life. This feeling was… everything.
Ronan’s heavy breathing broke on a sob and when he pulled Harlem against him again, his hold was more gentle, that protectiveness back as he cherished Harlem like he always did. “I love you too.”
It took some coaxing, but eventually he got Ronan back into bed and resting with his big head on Harlem’s chest. Harlem was too small to be a decent big spoon, but hugging Ronan’s head against him and petting him seemed to help.
“It’s weird. I didn’t think packs could feel each other’s feelings,” he murmured, staring blindly up at the ceiling as he tried to catalogue all the emotions in his chest. It was a little hard to distinguish between his and everyone else’s.
Sitting up, Ronan looked down at him with a frown. “They can’t. The only one who can read and share emotions with the pack is—” He cut himself off, huffing in surprise as he figured out the answer.
“Who?” Harlem prompted.
Offering a small smile, Ronan answered, “The alpha. It’s part of the pack bond between an alpha and his pack members. It gives me insight on how my pack is doing and who needs my attention. I didn’t think you’d experience the same thing as my mate.”
The word made Harlem’s belly flutter but he pushed it aside to focus on the topic at hand. “You feel like this all the time? How can you think straight?”
Chuckling, Ronan nuzzled his jaw affectionately. “You get used to it. And there’s some training you can do to learn to filter it a little. There’s no rush. We’ve… got time.”
The reverence in that sentence made a smile stretch across Harlem’s face. “Plenty of time.”
Now that they were bonded, their lifespans matched.
He wasn’t sure how long werewolves lived on average, but kitsune lived at least two thousand years, sometimes longer if they were really healthy.
He wouldn’t live as long as say an incubus, but that still gave him a long time to spend with his mate. He was only two hundred.
Ronan let out a long breath, hugging him a little tighter as he rested his head against Harlem’s chest again. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask. I was going to, I had a plan, I just–”
“That was my fault,” Harlem interrupted, wrinkling his nose with a sheepish grin when Ronan looked up at him again in confusion. “I was trying to rile you up. I wanted you to knot me. I thought if I got you all riled up, you’d stop worrying so much about hurting me.”
Huffing a laugh, Ronan shook his head. “Brat. I was going to get some toys to help prep you for that. You’re tiny compared to me.”
Scowling, Harlem crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. “I could handle it. I did tonight, didn’t I?”
He’d been afraid when they first got together that his slightly bratty attitude would’ve chased Ronan away.
If anything, it only ever amused him. He smirked down at Harlem, his tone going sultry as he said, “That’s right, you did.
And I was too upset after you passed out to truly enjoy it. Should we try again?”
Harlem’s cock swelled, his breath catching in his chest at the implication. “Really? You’re not going to get all overprotective and insist I need rest?”
Licking a path up his neck, Ronan chuckled when Harlem tipped his head to give him more room. “I think my little brat can take some rough handling. After all, you’re the one who wanted me all riled up.”
Harlem flashed him a grin, squealing when Ronan yanked him lower and tangled their tongues together.
Never in his life did he think a little brattiness would get him everything he wanted.
Ronan needed to be careful rewarding him for that.
He might get it in his head that a little bratting would get him anything he could come up with.
It got him his mate, didn’t it?