Chapter 1 #7
It’s a terrifying, amazing prospect. And far more than I should hope for.
I’ve spent the last decade arming myself for all the disappointments the world hurls at us, and I can’t bear to think of this as one more.
“We shouldn’t be talking like this. It’s ridiculous. We’ve been apart for so long, and—”
“I know, baby. That’s why we go on dates, that’s why we wait a while to see if we want to do this again. Say yes.”
His mouth is so close to mine, a mere fraction of an inch. But when I press my lips towards his, Jack moves back.
“I dare you, Tessa. Say yes.”
I slide a hand behind his neck, holding him in place. “Yes.”
The delicious curve of Jack’s smile presses against mine as my ex-husband kisses me for the first time in twenty years.
Jack
Now that Tessa is in my arms, and in my life, I can’t hold back. In an instant I have her beneath me, spread out on the rug as I hold myself above her.
The kiss is then and now, a delicious exploration that is as comfortable and familiar as it is exhilarating.
Her mouth opens for me at the first sweep of my tongue while her hand tangles in my hair, pulling me closer as her other hand pulls at my shirt.
I want to be everywhere at once—pressing a knee between her legs, cupping her gorgeous tits, exploring her neck and collarbone with my mouth.
I want my head between her thighs, want her heat surrounding me. Want, want, want.
Gasping for breath, I pull away. She’s mussed and red-cheeked and pouting at the distance I put between us. I feel the same way. We are meant to be together, and I hope she begs me to move in weeks instead of a whole year. But I take a beat, smoothing her hair from her face.
“I don’t want to get carried away,” I tell her. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. I don’t want you to regret anything, because I’m serious about doing this right.”
Tessa licks her lips. “I want you to fuck me.”
I close my eyes with a sigh as I become impossibly harder in my jeans. “Tessa, think about this.”
“I am. I have. Tell me you don’t want it, too.”
“Of course I do. But—” But there’s a reasonable reason we shouldn’t, right? Other than the fact that being inside Tessa again will put my heart at even greater risk, but I don’t care. “I don’t have any condoms. I wasn’t exactly expecting this.”
“I had a full screen at my last appointment,” she says. “I’m all clear. But—” Her lips curl into a frown. “I’m not on birth control. Odds of me getting pregnant are small, but not impossible—”
“I had a vasectomy,” I cut in. “So that wouldn’t be a problem. And I’m all clear, too. But Tess, are you sure?”
“A vasectomy?” Her eyes are wide. “When? Why?”
“When I was 30. I knew I didn’t want kids and figured I should take care of that part myself.”
“Jesus,” she mutters before biting her lower lip. “That is so hot.”
I bark a laugh, joy about ready to eat me up.
“So,” she continues. “You’ll fuck me, then?”
Hell yes. “If you’re sure. And if you promise to still do that date.”
“I promise.” She pushes me off, sending me on my ass. In an instant her hands tug at my shirt, yanking it over my head. Before I can return the favor, she pulls off her own shirt, revealing a black bra and the beautiful curve of her cleavage.
For a moment, she glances down at herself and her boldness falters.
“Don’t,” I interrupt before she can say a thing. “Don’t think a single negative thing about this body, Tessa, or you’ll regret it.”
Her brows raise. “How so?”
I trace my fingers down her bare shoulders. “I might have to tie you to the bed and tell you everything I find sexy about you.”
“And this is punishment how?”
I brush a palm over her tit, rubbing at her tight nipple. “Because I’ll be so busy cataloging all the details that I won’t be able to give you my cock, and then you’ll be so empty and needy.”
For a second her face is blank, and I worry I went too far. Last night we were in the dark, but maybe she doesn’t want this in the light. She’s a grown woman, a powerful woman, who might not appreciate my teasing.
But then a smile moves up her mouth. “No one’s talked to me like that in 20 years. I missed it.”
“Good.” I tug her onto my lap, gripping her ass to pull her flush with where I’m aching for her. “I like being the only one who gives you this. The only one who knows how dirty you like it.”
Tessa moans into my neck as she grinds over me. I flick off her bra and cup her warm, perfect tits in my hands. “There is so much I want to do to you after all this time, baby. I don’t know where to start.”
“Just fuck me, Jack, please.” She bites my shoulder, then licks at the sting. “We can slow down later.”
I slide her off my lap and stand, offering her a hand to pull her up.
We keep kissing as we cross to the room, shedding our pants.
When Tessa lays down on the bed, propped on her elbows and watching me, I don’t know where to start.
I want to taste every inch of her, want to feel her body clenching around my fingers.
But then she spreads her legs and crooks a finger, and I’m done for. I climb over her, letting my cock rub against her inner thigh as I lick and suck on her nipples in turn. Below me, her hips circle, seeking pressure, seeking fullness.
“I swear to god, Jack, if you don’t put your cock in me I’m sending you out in the snow. It’s still my cabin time.”
I adjust myself so the head of my cock is pressed against her wetness, not yet pushing in. “Fine,” I say with a laugh. “I’ll fuck you like you need. But my time starts in just a few hours, and I’ll be taking my time with you. Making you beg for it.”
Her smile at me is radiant. “Looking forward to it.”
I hold her gaze as I push inside. She gasps as her fingernails dig into my back, but she keeps her eyes open. I move slowly, adjusting to the reality that this is happening again, this perfect union of bodies I thought was only a memory.
Tessa blinks as tears well in her eyes.
“I know,” I whisper, starting to move inside her. We’re fucking, but it’s something else too. Something healing and beautiful and long overdue. A tear tips out of my eye and lands on her cheek. “I know.”
I slide a hand beneath her ass to hold her closer to me, opening her up.
Her hips meet my every thrust, until we’re breathing hard and moving frantically.
I won’t last, but I know I’ll have another chance.
Maybe a second lifetime of chances with her.
I lower myself to kiss her as I snake my hand between her legs, homing in on her clit.
Rubbing her there as I fuck her is like coming home. It’s what my body was made to do.
“You feel so perfect, Tessa. I always knew you were made for me.” I thrum her clit, then rub it between my fingers as she writhes beneath me. “Come on my cock now, baby. Show me how you missed me.”
I track her breathing, the dilation of her eyes, the tension in her legs wrapped tight around me. She is so fucking close, so I don’t change a thing, just keep up the steady rubbing of her clit as roll my hips into her again and again.
When she cries out my name and shakes beneath me, I’m not far behind. I lessen my pressure but rub her through her orgasm, still barely believing that I get the privilege of making this woman come.
“Come inside me,” she urges. “Jack, please.”
And she doesn’t have to beg for that, because I’m well on my way, fucking her hard enough to slam the headboard into the cabin wall, knowing Tessa can take it. She’s urging me on, gripping my ass, as sparks light up over my body and I come in her with the hot pulse of my orgasm.
As the haze clears, I pepper kisses over her cheeks, then leave soft kisses on her lips. I slide off her and flop to the side, letting out a long sigh before turning on my side to face her as she does the same.
“So,” she grins. “We just did that.”
“We did.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, grateful for the opportunity at this small intimacy. “Listen. I’m horny as hell for you, but I meant everything I said.”
“I know. I did, too. I’m excited about our date.”
“Oh yeah? Where are you going to take me?”
She wiggles her eyebrows. “You’re going to have to come out to California and see.”
“I can’t wait.” I really can’t. As soon as I have cell service I’m buying a plane ticket. “Until then, do you have plans for the next few days?”
“I mean,” she shrugs. “Technically tomorrow my ex-husband gets this cabin, so I was going to drive back to California.”
“And what—” I trail a hand down her arm and entwine my fingers with hers. “If your ex-husband invites you to stay a few extra days?”
“I think I could swing that.”
I kiss her, slowly, gently. “We get to ring in the new year together.”
“I don’t know about you,” Tessa says with a smile. “But I think it’s going to be a really good year.”