Chapter 1 #5
“I hope…you…you don’t regret coming to us.” Now his eyes were on his plate, his voice quiet and shy. “You know, Pa…me…Carl and me…we’re…we’re real glad you’re part of the family.”
As quiet as his words were, they held the timbre of the man he would become.
“Thank you, dear one,” she said, wanting to sob and letting him see the shine in her eyes. “I’ve only felt deep gladness at becoming a Callahan.”
This boy, this almost-man, was something she didn’t want to lose either.
Deep in the night, twined in MaryAnn’s bed that had turned into their bed, Roslynn whispered what Adam had foretold: Calving season was drawing to a close.
“I don’t know if I can stand it,” Roslynn breathed against her skin, gripping her tight. “I love you. I love him.”
MaryAnn understood completely. She loved Samuel, too, in her own way. For the kindness he’d shown her. For handing her his home and his boys. For his quiet. His resilience. For not returning to her bed.
“If he touches you again…” Roslynn knew about their wedding night, knew it was his one-and-only visit. “If he returns to touch you, I’ll die.”
MaryAnn wrapped her arms around her beloved and squeezed. Against her shoulder, Roslynn said, “If he returns to touch you, I’ll have to go.”
“You go, I go,” MaryAnn said ferociously, as devoutly as a wedding oath.
But it wasn’t a solution. They didn’t want to go. Samuel had been generous with them both, yes, but he needed them. He couldn’t get by without them, and they didn’t want to abandon him. This was their duty. This was their joy.
This was their home.
On what she was certain was going to be her last night alone with Roslynn, MaryAnn once again prepared the house. This time, all the preparations were for her one true love.
She filled mugs with the vibrant, rose-gold coneflowers that had suddenly sprung up in the meadows, Roslynn’s favorite.
She lit fewer candles; Roslynn fretted that Cat would knock one over and set them all alight.
She made roast chicken and fresh salsa with twice the cilantro and enough tortillas to fill them to bursting.
But when she was pouring the last of the warmed water into the tub, when she heard the heaviness of the boots on the porch, she knew something was deeply wrong.
She turned and saw her husband, hat off, face and hands washed in the pump outside, coming in through the screen door. He held the door open. The animals raced through like it was their due.
Then his sister walked in, jaw firm and chin up and terror and heartbreak already in her eyes.
To keep from reaching for her, to keep from pulling her behind her skirts and absorbing the wrath that was going to destroy her beloved, MaryAnn pressed both hands to her stomach.
Samuel stopped a few steps into the room and gazed around. He saw the coneflowers. The candles. His sister’s animals declaring their devotion against MaryAnn’s shins. He saw the bath.
Without a word, he walked to the table set for two. He sat at the head, a spot conspicuously free of table setting, and stared at the always-empty seat on the other end.
“Want to have a word with you two,” he said quietly, still looking at that seat. He absently rubbed the ring on his thick finger, the one he’d slid off, handed to MaryAnn, and had her slide on again.
They could run, MaryAnn thought. She could grab her sister-in-law who looked glued to the spot, yank her out the door, and start running. They need never look back.
They’d always be looking back.
She walked to the table and sat and, at the prompting, so did Roslynn. MaryAnn stared at her and told her without words, no matter what happened, she would always love her. Tears grew in Roslynn’s eyes.
“Want to get your thoughts on those ten acres out by the Viridescent,” he said. “That’s floodin’ land, but we get millet or corn planted and it’ll do. There’s that little rise for a homestead. Adam can live there with Carl ‘til he’s ready for property of his own. Thinkin’ that won’t be too long.”
MaryAnn stared dumbfounded at her husband. She glanced at Roslynn to see the same confusion, the same suspended fear. Why had he brought them together to discuss this?
Samuel glanced at them both. “Best not to have them underfoot ‘cept for meal times and Sunday dinners, just like the other young’uns,” he explained slowly. “Don’t you think?”
Wordlessly, eyes still on her brother, Roslynn stretched her hand palm up on the table. Disbelieving, but with foolish growing hope, MaryAnn reached out to grip it.
Samuel clasped his hands together and focused his eyes on that empty seat.
“I love my Berta,” he said. “I never wanted another. But a farm needs a wife and a wife, she wants her own children. Wasn’t right to deny them. With you…” His eyes flicked to MaryAnn. “I did as the Lord commands, I consummated our marriage and figured…if you asked…”
MaryAnn covered her mouth with her free hand. She was afraid a joy that couldn’t be real was going to leap out of her.
“I love my wife,” he said again. A tear traced down his craggy cheek and he let it be. “It’s a state I can’t shake. Don’t want to. I’d rather stay true.”
Roslynn gave a soft sob and covered her brothers fists with her free hand. MaryAnn did the same.
Samuel met Roslynn’s eyes. “I love my sister. It pained me thinkin’ she couldn’t have what I had. I don’t want her to live a life without it.”
MaryAnn wept openly along with her love, squeezing her hand, squeezing her husband’s hand, as tears dripped off Samuel’s bristly jaw.
“Sister,” he said. “You’ve shown up these fine mornings shining brighter than the sun. I’d not take that from you.”
He turned to look at MaryAnn, and for the first time she realized his eyes, under those white shaggy brows, were the exact same green as his sister’s. “If y’all don’t mind sharing a house with an old widower, I’d like to share it with you.”
With nods of heads and the gripping of joined hands, they bent their heads and wept for love lost and love found and love that transcended.
And in the morning, in the light of the rising sun, with two of them holding hands and two animals prancing at their feet, they walked out onto their property and took their first steps into the new life they’d build together.
The End