Chapter 7
Ariana
I’m trying not to lose my damn mind.
I can’t count how many times I’ve stood in front of the mirror and practiced my smile over the last nine years. Trying to be presentable for consultants, investors, or my in-laws. I’ve never failed to muster one up.
Until today.
It’s not because I woke up alone. That’s normal, especially for a Monday. I may have whined when I found the bed next to me cold where Cole had been sleeping, but I sucked it up.
It’s the anxiety in my chest that makes me struggle. I’m not ready to go out and play pretend with Amy now that it’s just the two of us. My alphas will be gone, but their scents will be stamped onto her after they spent the night together.
I take my time brushing my teeth, dry heaving over the sink after from my stress. The cold water I splash on my face does nothing to dissipate the fatigue that’s settled into me. I didn’t sleep much. I’ll have to cover the dark circles before my pack comes back from work.
And then what? I’ll greet them with her? We each kiss one, then swap? I fold in half as if punched in the gut, dry heaving again. Nothing comes out, but I stand letting the sink run for a while. Just watching the water run down the drain, unable to make myself move.
It’s not like there’s a point in moving anyway. I don’t exactly have anything to do or anywhere to go. No one’s waiting or looking for me.
There’s still a small part of me that’s prideful, though. Am I going to let myself become caged to my bedroom just to hide from a woman almost a decade younger than me? I was here first, after all.
I can’t avoid her forever. I have to face her eventually. Since it’s just us, I don’t bother to change out of my pajamas before I step out of my room. I’ll shower and get dressed up when my alphas come home.
Her scent isn’t strong enough to erase the thick perfume I’ve left in the hallways over the last week.
It lingers subtly instead, sweet notes of toffee and caramel accenting the bitterness of my tea that blanket the walls.
The two intermingle with the sage, apple and whiskey aromas that have cemented themselves onto the floorboards throughout the years.
It feels like it’s been a lifetime since I moved in.
I still remember how our mornings used to be, my routine of knotting their ties and making their coffee.
That was back when I seldom woke up alone.
On the rare occasions I did, it just meant I had slept in.
Their voices would be coming from the kitchen when I woke up.
It’s like a movie scene I remember vividly. We still have our Sundays together, but the last two didn’t go so smoothly. And those will never be the same again, now that we’ve gotten a new addition.
But apparently weekdays won’t be the same either. Because when I arrive in the dining room, Ian’s seated at the head of the table. Not in a suit and tie, but dressed simply in a plain shirt and joggers.
There’s a full spread laid across the table, sausages, eggs, bacon, waffles, and more. It’s a borderline buffet. I stop in front of the dining table, dumbfounded. Somehow, their presence is more shocking than the food.
“Wow, a day off?” I rub my eyes, almost not believing what’s in front of me. “Is it a holiday?”
I hear a giggle come from the doorway to the kitchen. Amy carries in a stack of pancakes, dolled up in another floral dress.
“No holiday,” Liam appears as Ian speaks. He’s dressed casually too, in a pair of light blue jeans. “We took the day off to help Amy settle in.”
Cole emerges with a pitcher of orange juice, slipping past where Liam wraps an arm around Amy’s shoulders. We, he said. All three of the alphas, because she joined the pack.
What did they do the day I moved in? I try to remember, but flashes of teeth piercing my neck pop into my mind instead, making my mating mark ache. Despite how much I love them, I prefer not to think of the circumstances that led to me moving here.
“All of you? A day off?” I look between the trio as if they’ve grown second heads. I’d almost find that more believable. “You didn’t even take time off for our honeymoon.”
Even though we delayed it for long after our bonding ceremony due to work.
I can still remember Liam disappearing for phone calls, “one moment” quickly turning to hours, Cole using his laptop by the hotel pool.
Ian urged me to be understanding then, so I was.
I can’t help the bitterness leaking in my tone as I point it out.
Something like guilt flashes over Cole’s face, but Amy’s smile only grows wider.
“I feel so special!” She preens, lifting her shoulders excitedly. She sets the plate of pancakes on the table, then claps her hands. “That’s everything.”
Liam and Cole take their seats, so I follow suit. I begin to move to my normal seat besides Cole, but Amy cuts me off. She looks up at me as I stop mid step, one of her hands already resting on the chair. I can feel the pack staring at me, waiting to see what I’ll do.
It’s not a big deal. She can have the seat next to Cole. It’s her first day here. She doesn’t know where I usually sit. I cross the table, plunking down next to Liam instead.
“Morning babe,” he leans over for a kiss. I can smell her on him, making me internally recoil. I peck his lips anyways, quickly pulling away to echo his greeting.
“It’s so nice to have a home cooked meal,” Cole stares at the spread on the table longingly.
Liam nods in agreement, then looks across the table at Amy conspiratorially. “Ari doesn’t really cook.”
“She doesn’t?” Amy’s eyes flicker over to me. “That’s okay! I can teach her.”
They’re talking about me as if I’m not sitting right next to them.
“I’ve offered to cook for you guys multiple times,” I point out. “You’ve said not to every time.”
They’re the ones who insist on every macro and calorie being optimized, not me. Liam smiles at me in response, winking. He’s cutting into syrup soaked waffles with aplomb. What happened to weighing out every serving like before?
“Oh, they told me not to worry about it too! But I didn’t want to just sit around freeloading, so I woke up early and started on it.” I frown at her words, unsettled. She might not have meant to imply I’m a freeloader, but that’s a bit what it sounds like.
“I appreciate that, Amy. It shows initiative.” Ian nods at her approvingly, making Amy preen and my eyes widen. If there’s one thing Ian dislikes, it’s an omega not listening to their alphas. It’s almost as if he’s another man.
“I’ll do it more often!” She’s positively beaming. Her cheeks must ache from smiling so hard.
Cole reaches over the table, lifting the sole sausage off my plate and onto his. Amy’s eyes follow the movement, confusion momentarily passing through her cheer.
I know what she’s thinking. There’s a small heap of links on the table. If he had wanted one, he could have just taken it from there. She must not be aware our meals normally come pre-preportioned down to every last calorie.
I sheepishly slide my single slice of bacon to Liam as well, understanding Cole’s unspoken message. Greasy food is comforting and I thought turkey bacon would have been okay, since it was only one slice. Liam smiles at me knowingly, grabbing my wrist to lift the food to his mouth.
“We’re all yours today-” Liam begins.
All hers? In my discomfort, my scent spikes abruptly, pulled from me before I register to suppress it. Just as fast, Ian releases his pheromones out in warning alongside it. It’s a pure display of dominance, overtaking my perfume and stifling its fragrance.
My tea is buried under his whiskey, pinned to the ground. I didn’t mean to let it peak. It just came out before I could stop it.
Judging by his stern expression though, Ian doesn’t want to hear my explanation. I turn away from him and pick a spot on the wall to stare at above Cole and Amy’s heads, willing my emotions under the surface.
Satisfied I won’t interrupt, Liam continues as if nothing happened. “So whatever you want to do, just let us know.”
She considers his words, then shrugs. Her movements are small and dainty. She’s the very depiction of a cute omega, like those from the soap operas my mom loves. “I’m happy as long as I’m with you guys. Even if we just stay in and watch a movie on the couch.”
“You can ask for more, you know. Don’t be shy.” Cole reassures her.
“That’s really all I want though!” She pouts at him, resting her head against his shoulder.
“What about me?” They turn to look at me. If they’ve planned a day to spend with her, they’ve surely done the same for me.
“You’re invited too, of course.” Cole says, as if bewildered. I blink at him in response, equally confused. Does he think I want to join their movie date?
“There’s a ball coming up.” Ian pipes up. “We’re donors. You’ll be coming with us, Ariana.” He’s telling me, not asking, but I brighten anyways. It’s been awhile since we went out together.
“The fundraising one, right?” Liam considers it. “That’s a good idea. The Coates pack will be there and we know Ari can be a topic of conversation with them. We get our name in the papers for a donation and rub elbows at the same time. Two birds, one stone.”
My newfound good spirits sink away as quickly as they came. It’s not a date. They want me to come along as a networking tool, not their omega.
“Can I come?” Amy’s voice is as small as I feel.
Really? She has the whole day with them, but she wants to come with us then too? The rest of the pack stares at Ian, waiting for our pack lead’s decision.
“You’re not bonded in yet. I don’t want you around that many unmated alphas. It’s not proper.”
My irritation with Amy fades. I may be their mate, but I’ve heard that same reasoning before. And she’s so young. Of course she wants to see a ball.
“But you’re taking Ariana!” Her eyes shine with tears. I look over at her sympathetically, which makes her scent spike for a second.
It’s so quick, I almost think I’ve imagined the spice searing into the toffee. Is she angry that I’m attending, or at my sympathetic look?
Maybe she’s not as happy with this arrangement as she seems to be. Just like me. Maybe, to some degree, she’s the only one in this room who understands what I’m going through.
“Ariana is our scent match.” Ian states, matter of factly. His neutral tone doesn’t have the slightest hint of affection in it, but my omega flourishes at the statement anyways. “We’ll spend a whole day with you after to make up for it.” Cole puts a hand over hers, nodding along.
“How is that fair?” I blurt out. They want to make it up to her, not me? “She gets two whole days with you to do whatever she wants. I get one day of being your arm candy during a work obligation?”
“That’s not at all what we’re saying, babe.” Liam chastises me, disappointment clear. I don’t stop myself from whining, making him startle.
“That’s what I’m hearing. You told me I wouldn’t lose anything.” I remind them. “I feel like I’m losing you guys.”
“Ariana.” I know I’ve lost by Ian’s stern tone and the impatience that’s seeped into his whiskey fragrance. “Amy is younger than you. She’s new here. She needs time. We all need to put effort into helping her adjust. Including you.” His pale eyes pierce into me. “Do you understand?”
I nod, but it makes his eyes grow colder.
“I said, do you understand?” He asks again.
“Yes.” I confirm miserably. I can feel Amy’s eyes on me, studying my face. Her scent is sweeter than before, but I can’t discern the emotion. The bond is too busy cowering from Ian’s displeasure.
“Yes what?”
“Yes, alpha. I understand.”
“Good. You’re dismissed. Don’t make me repeat myself again, sweetheart.” I stand, food still sitting on my plate half uneaten.
As I leave, I hear Amy asking if it’s alright for me not to have breakfast.
“Don’t worry about that. It’ll help her fit in her dress.” Liam’s voice is reassuring, comforting her.
My walk gains speed, putting distance between me and my pack. I can’t bear to listen to more.
They told me I wouldn’t lose anything when a second omega came. Yet somehow, I feel like I’ve left something behind in the kitchen I won’t get back.