Chapter 7 #3
Maybe we’d end up deciding to live in my townhouse.
After all, it was built for a family, not a single woman.
Which was exactly what I’d been when I had bought the place after making my first ten million dollars on my own.
I’d managed to make a killing on an insider trade deal.
Back then, I had been so proud of my accomplishments that I paid upfront for the townhouse as a reward to myself.
My parents had footed the rest of the money.
But I hadn’t quite grasped the magnitude of buying a family-sized home.
As it turned out, the townhouse was both a sanctuary and a burden.
It was where I hosted soirees for my parents, my Uncle Tony, other relatives, and associates.
But when I was alone in the house, it could be the loneliest place in the world.
Because there was no one to truly share the place with.
I never had a significant other for long.
There had never been kids on the horizon.
I’d been so desperate to become Papa’s second that I’d put my secret yearning to start a family on the back burner for years.
I had told myself that I would have children once I amassed enough power to keep them safe.
When I had expanded our legitimate businesses to the point where we didn’t have to live in the shadows of the underworld.
My future kids could have a great life that didn’t include lying about our family or hiding how we made money.
Maybe I’d bought the townhouse, hoping deep down it would magically manifest the family I hoped for.
Now, that far-off family was staring me in the face.
I’d be settling down but not on my own terms. I’d be having kids with a man I couldn’t love.
And on top of that, without the power I rightfully deserved, I’d never be able to protect a family the way I truly wanted.
What I’d give to be able to raise children without having to lie to them about who I was or what I did.
My parents had kept me in the dark during my childhood, and yet I had been clever enough to figure some things out.
Which had ended up being an isolating experience.
While I had taken pride in how smart I was for putting things together, it had pushed me further away from my parents and my friends.
Over time, I lost most of those friends, and I only repaired my relationship with my parents with Uncle Tony’s help.
Now Uncle Tony was gone, Papa was injured, and my life was upside down.
“What’s wrong?”
Enzo’s voice shook me back to the present.
Quickly, I answered, “Nothing.”
Along with the trepidation, I felt a giddy excitement at the prospect of having a man over.
And not just any man either. A gorgeous, sexy, temptation of a man I shouldn’t have been lusting after.
Enzo was a business arrangement more than anything.
That reality didn’t stop me from wanting him.
While our rendezvous last night hadn’t happened due to the awful shooting, the tension between us remained. My desire for him had only intensified.
Between all my trepidation about the future and my burning desire, I felt out of control.
Not to mention there were so many other feelings that I couldn’t name yet.
But I couldn’t waste any more time out here getting lost in my thoughts.
No use stalling. My future husband was going to be in my house whether I was prepared or not.
Clearing my throat, I said to the doorman, “Wayne, this is my associate, Enzo De Luca. He has my permission to be here at all times.”
My face heated at that. My introduction made Enzo sound like a new boyfriend. Or a colleague I was having an affair with. On some level that was kind of true. Even though the actual truth was far too complicated to get into.
But the doorman was too well trained to show any emotion. He was all smiles as he greeted Enzo and ushered us inside. As we walked across the expansive foyer toward the main hall, Enzo did something completely unexpected. He reached out to hold my hand.
My heart skipped a beat. Fake kisses and a potential night together was one thing.
This was something else entirely. He’d held my hand before to help me into my car, for example.
But there was an intimacy to the way his large hand gently squeezed mine that made it feel like I was going home with my husband for real.
Ignoring all common sense, I squeezed back.
I felt warm and tingly inside. Extremely foolish things to feel because my new plans were contingent on never falling for him.
I had a mission that relied on total focus and commitment.
Because if I screwed up before my plans were put into motion, I would live to regret it.
Enzo De Luca was not something to hinge my entire future on.
Women in the mafia were loyal to their men when it counted, but it would be irresponsible to hang my entire future on the whims of any man, much less an untrustworthy one like Enzo.
And yet, in that moment, I wanted to be irresponsible. Which didn’t bode well for my future plans. Enzo was a danger. To everyone around him. And to my heart.