5
THEA
The drive to Brasstown Bald is breathtaking. Lush greenery borders either side of the road and though spring has given way to summer, there’s still a coolness in the air that makes me keep my truck’s windows down.
Traffic is scarce for a Wednesday. It’s one reason I love working weekends and having some weekdays off. A few of Cassie’s clients recommended me to their friends, so my schedule for the next few weekends is full.
To celebrate, I’m making the trek to the tallest mountain in Georgia. It’s nearly an hour trip each way, but Brasstown Bald has been on my hiking bucket list.
When I moved here months ago, a promise I made to myself was to connect more with nature. In Atlanta, I argued that I was “too far away”. Now, the mountains are in my backyard and I have no excuses.
I’ve kept good on that promise. I stayed close to Willow Hill at first, exploring local trails so I could build up my stamina. Slowly, I worked my way north, finding new places to challenge myself with.
My camera never gets left behind on these hikes. While my passion is photographing people, I find a certain peace in capturing the beauty of nature.
This is my farthest hike away from home, yet I think it will be the most rewarding. At the top, there’s an observation tower and on a clear day you can see four different states.
I park at the base of the trail, slide on my backpack, and hang my camera around my neck. I nod a silent hello to a couple exiting as I enter. My phone buzzes once, a momentary spot of reception allowing the message to come through.
Cole: Enjoy your hike today. Be careful.
He remembered. It makes me smile stupidly. Cole was the first to text after our date two days ago, a good morning message that made my stomach flutter.
I felt a little strange popping in to grab coffee a couple of hours later, not wanting it to seem like I was going out of my way to see him so soon. I thought about skipping my morning cup, but that wouldn’t be good for anyone. Thankfully, he wasn’t working, so I was able to bypass any awkwardness.
Today was the same. No Cole when I grabbed my coffee.
There aren’t any valid reasons for me to avoid him. I’ll have to see him, eventually. Plus, he’s been nothing but kind through texts. I’m just not used to this and I don’t want to appear desperate. And I absolutely don’t want his staff catching on to anything that’s going on between us.
Cole told me he’d be closing tonight, so I might pop in when it’s quiet to grab some tea and feel him out. I’ve toyed with the idea of asking him out on a second date, although the thought unsettles me.
It shouldn’t. Women ask men out all the time. Yet years of rejection still makes me insecure at times.
I push away thoughts of Cole and focus on reflecting.
In my old life, I never made much time for it. I was on auto-pilot, trying to make it through my last relationship with my sanity intact. I might have saved myself a lot of heartache if I hadn’t blocked out that inner voice that was screaming at me to see the signs. Because now it’s all so clear.
I was young when I met Gavin Tallentire—we both were. We attended the University of Georgia, although we didn’t meet until our junior year. He was charming, or rather, that’s what I wanted to see. Manipulation can often masquerade as charm.
I wasn’t faultless—I shouldn’t have rushed the relationship. Building a friendship first probably would have shown me exactly who he was. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.
His love so closely resembled what I experienced growing up that falling for him was inevitable. Gavin gave me praise and affection when I did something that he viewed as favorable, then he distanced himself. If my actions didn’t benefit him, if I wasn’t giving him everything he wanted, I was invisible.
It was so similar to my parent’s love—left on my own unless they needed me or wanted to show me off to their friends. She’s so independent, she barely needs us. Thea is on the honor roll again. She received a full scholarship. The words used to feel like compliments, but now I see them for what they are—my parents taking credit for everything I had to do to survive.
If I wasn’t independent, I wouldn’t have eaten half the time. If I didn’t make honor roll, I would be subject to their criticism. If I didn’t apply for scholarships, they wouldn’t have paid my tuition.
And I let Gavin put me right back in the prison I’d clawed my way out of.
The thoughts bring a wave of shame. Tears prickle my eyes. I stop to hide behind my lens and snap some photos, letting the emotions sink back down.
Even after months of therapy, it’s still hard reconciling that Cassie is the only person close to me who doesn’t love me conditionally. I’m thankful to at least have her, although there’s a certain pain that comes from having to keep your blood at a distance to protect yourself.
I clear my mind and let myself enjoy the rest of the hike without the burdensome thoughts of what I can’t control.
An hour later, my feet hit the pavement again. I make the final climb up the observation tower steps. I’m out of breath when I arrive, taking deep chugs from my water bottle. Opening my eyes as I drink, my body stills.
I’m surrounded by rounded peaks in every direction and the late afternoon sun hangs low in the sky, casting a warm glow over the Appalachian mountains. The trail up was difficult, yet the view is beyond worth it.
Taking my time, I walk the perimeter of the tower, snapping photos every few feet. When I’m satisfied, I stand there taking it all in.
Admittedly, I’ve been through a lot, more than most people know, even Cassie. But moments like these almost makes it worthwhile. Knowing I’ve overcome all the obstacles and made it to the other side is gratifying.
Now… an hour hike back down. I nearly laugh, knowing I’ll be sore for the next few days.
I pull into a parking space near the bakery. I didn’t tell Cole that I’d be stopping by, mostly because I was still unsure if I would until I drove right past my apartment and turned onto Main Street. It’s not that big of a deal, I tell myself, not fully believing it.
I want to accept that Cole is genuine, yet it’s difficult. My history aside, I remember all the years of dating Cassie went through before finding Anthony. There were too many nights to count where I listened silently while she screamed, ranted, and cried over men who made her believe she was special, only to disappear without an explanation.
Love-bombing. That’s what she called it. These men showered her with compliments and seemed consistent for weeks, sometimes even months, only to get what they wanted from her.
I don’t get the impression that Cole would do that, although it’s not something I can completely rule out. So I keep telling myself to simply enjoy the time that I have with him. I also remind myself to not get too swept up by what he says or does until I’m sure I can trust him.
The sky is darkening a bit and I can see Cole through the window, wiping down a counter. He’s the only one I can see inside.
Click. Click.
I snap a couple of photos of Cole working before heading inside. It might come off as creepy, but I’m a photographer and if you know, you know. There’s a certain type of beauty in watching someone care for something they love. He truly loves his bakery. I’m compelled to capture that.
Setting my camera down, I head inside.
“I hear this place makes the best coffee. And the owner isn’t half bad to look at.” Cole turns in my direction, curls swaying across his forehead as he smiles widely.
Placing his hands on the countertop, he leans forward and gives a half shrug. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Thea.”
“Oh, I know,” I say, giving him a sheepish grin. “It’s all a part of my grand plan. All the free coffee a girl could ever want. What more could I ask for?” He laughs and grabs a cup. “Actually, I’ll have a tea. I don’t want to be up all night.”
“How was the hike?” he asks as I watch him make my lavender and mint tea.
He’s wearing a white long sleeve shirt that makes his skin appear tanner. The muscles in his arms flex as he works. Flashes of our date make my cheeks heat. That night and what I wanted to happen have been replaying in my head non-stop.
I realize I’ve zoned out. He’s looking at me expectantly as he puts the tea bag in the steaming water.
“Oh, it was challenging, but good. The view was amazing. Have you ever been?”
He pops a lid onto the cup. “A few times.” I slide a ten across the counter. “It’s on me,” he insists.
Cole folds his arms on the counter, leveling his gaze with mine. His hazel eyes seem more green right now, as the corner of his lip tilts upwards, like he knows something I don’t.
My heart speed up and the sensible part of my brain short circuits.
Leaning across the counter, my fingers find his chin beneath the scruff. I draw him towards me, kissing him softly. As I pull away, anxiousness sets in. Why the hell did I do that?
I’m panicking when he wraps his hand around my wrist and brings me back to him. Cole kisses me with intensity. I wonder if he senses my doubt and needs me to know he wants this as much as I do.
“Heading home?” he asks as his lips leave mine. I hate that the warmth is sucked away by his absence.
“I have to run a couple of errands, then yes, going home.” I’m hoping he’ll ask me out on another date, although I’m not sure if I’m supposed to since he asked last time. Where is a dating handbook when you need one?
As if reading my mind, he clears his throat. “I know our last date was a little unconventional. I’d like to take you out again. We could do something a little more normal this time if you’d prefer. You know…a movie, mini golf, karaoke.”
My face twists at the third suggestion. “You won’t want to see me again if we do karaoke.” He chuckles at that. “I loved what you did last time. I’ll love whatever you choose for us next.” Cole’s face becomes serious for a moment and I worry my wording came off too strong.
“You don’t know how nice it is to hear that.” His gaze pours into me, making a shiver run down my back.
There’s something about mutual trauma that’s easily recognizable between two people who share it. Cole hadn’t gone into specific details on our date, only that he stuck with his brothers because things were hard growing up. I can tell his life hasn’t been any easier than mine.
I hate that I have to leave. Talking to him all night long is much more appealing, yet I need to go before the stores close.
“Let me know when you get home, so I know you made it safe,” he calls out as I push open the bakery door.
I pause and look over my shoulder. “Admit it, you just want to hear my beautiful voice before bed.” Cole smirks and shakes his head. I give him one last glance through the window as I head down Main Street.
It’s dark by the time I get back to my truck. The bakery’s lights are out and I don’t see Cole’s car.
Without thinking, I pull at the door handle, forgetting to hit the unlock button. It pops open and I groan inwardly. I’ll have to put Cassie’s post-it notes on my truck, so I remember to lock it.
Half of the problem is forgetfulness, the other half was just being wise from growing up in Atlanta. Leave nothing in your car and don’t bother locking the doors. Replacing a broken window was a costly lesson I only needed to learn once.
Throwing the shopping bags into the back and my worn satchel in the passenger seat, I turn the engine over and back out onto the nearly empty Main Street. Putting my truck in drive and cranking on the AC, I head home.
I don’t get far before I notice something fluttering in one of the air vents. Taking my foot off the gas, I reach for the white debris, keeping an eye on the road.
The piece of paper is wrapped around the vent in a way that makes me realize it’s intentional. Someone was in my truck while I was running errands. Fear rushes through me.
Looking over, I see my camera hasn’t been taken. Whoever was in here wasn’t after my things.
I’m going at a slow crawl, glancing up every few seconds as I unfold it with one hand. The bold, black letters make my skin crawl. Hello, Thea. The paper falls into my lap and I grip the steering wheel with trembling hands. But my brief distraction makes me miss the man stepping off the curb into the road.
Slamming on the brakes, I skid to a stop inches from him.
There’s a moment where the world seems to stand still. I take stock of the situation. Is he okay? Can I breathe through the ache in my chest? Then everything resumes in an instant.
The man’s face twists from fear to anger as he throws his hands up and starts yelling. Under the streetlight, I can see his skin redden and his eyes bulge. His shoulders are tense and fists are balled.
I mouth my apology, though I know he can’t hear me.
He’s walking towards my passenger side, so I lower my window. He’s tall enough that he has to bend down to make eye contact.
The stranger’s hand grips the roof of my car in a way that makes my stomach knot. “Sir, I’m so sorry. I was distracted and didn’t see you. Are you okay?”
“No shit! Are you fucking stupid or something?” His aggressiveness escalates. I half expected him to see the look of concern on my face and cool down, but he’s only getting angrier.
Surely he’ll throw a few more insults my way and move on. That would be the rational thing to do. He doesn’t. He reaches through the window and hits the unlock button.
“What the hell are you doing?” I try to disguise the shakiness in my voice, but it comes across clearly.
He opens the passenger door and starts crawling over the seat to get to me.
I have two options. Stay here and end up on a true crime podcast. Or take off and risk hurting him. If it’s between me or him, it’ll be me. I get ready to hit the gas as I scream at the top of my lungs, hoping to scare him off. “Get the fuck out!” As the words leave my mouth, I see a flash of movement and the stranger is yanked from my truck.